Like any long-running blog, Burbed has developed a few inside jokes.  One of them is our fondness of the most important element in classical architecture.  That’s right.  Mawbul Kawlums.  (And if you haven’t seen this video yet, please go watch it, because it’s a classic.  Ha ha!  Classic, get it?) 

Ever since we featured this empty spec house, Burbed readers have asked for more homes in KawlumVision.  Today’s featured listing says “Break out the red arrows!”

Thanks very much to Burbed reader Swan for this super structure in Saratoga at an even more super price!

13815 PIERCE Rd
Saratoga, CA 95070
$6,988,000

BEDS: 6
BATHS: 5.5
SQ. FT.: 8,000
$/SQ. FT.: $874
LOT SIZE: 1.87 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Mediterranean
STORIES: 2
VIEW: Mountains
YEAR BUILT: 2008
COMMUNITY: Saratoga
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81215397
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 13 days

This elegant 8000+/- sf Italian Villa on 1.5+/- view acres will awaken all your senses. The elaborate paver driveway with 3 entrances leads you to a beautifully designed front steps and door. Great curb appeal! The 3 levels include an excellent open floor plan with 6 bedrooms and 5.5 bathrooms, Brasilian Cherry hardwood floors, marble bathrooms, spiral staircase, Best Anderson windows and More!

Here’s why Swan shared this home with all of you:

I am in mawbul kawlum heaven!

Kawlums in front, kawlums at the garage, kawlums in the entry hall, kawlums in the master bath, kawlums in back, kawlums at the gazebo!

Are there enough red arrows in the world for this home?

This house may very well have broken the Burbed KawlumVision generator, because there actually are kawlums hiding behind other kawlums.  We assure you that every single red arrow in the big picture above is pointing to a unique kawlum. It’s just that some of them are shy.

You can see the wallflower kawlums from this slightly different angle of the façade, available from this home’s virtual tour. Plus it also has the aforementioned garage kawlums. 

The MLS listing has 14 yummy pictures, many of them with kawlums to drool over.  But if you can’t get enough kawlumnage, plus more eye-popping “They put that in there?” you simply must check out the tour as well.  And bring your red arrows.

Remember, nothing says “Rich people live here” like mawbul kawlums.  Well, that and a $7 million listing price.

Remember the house we featured yesterday, the “fixer” in San Francisco?  Yes, it was in hot, hot, HOT Noe Valley, so of course all the agent had to do was take pictures and slap that puppy on the MLS to let the wild overbidding start.  This low-inventory situation means less work for agents, so they can spend more time finding more excellent properties… for our front page.

Inventory isn’t low just in San Francisco.  Today’s house in Saratoga, courtesy of Burbed reader hsjb, may remind you of yesterday’s.  Grab your oven mitts, because you better be ready for the heat!

12546 NORTHAMPTON Ct
Saratoga, CA 95070
$1,299,888

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,880
$/SQ. FT.: $691
LOT SIZE: 9,945 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Ranch
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Mountains
YEAR BUILT: 1962
COMMUNITY: Saratoga
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81207583
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Pending Without Release
ON REDFIN: 28 days

single family ranch style home in a quiet cul-de-sac with great potential!! 4 bedrooms, 2bathrooms, 3yr new red tiled roof, hardwood floors, copper plumbing, nice size yard with pool and jacuzzi, close to great schools and needs updating and reflected in the price.

Here’s what hsjb had to say when alerting us to this superb suburban synonym-for-“house”-that-starts-with-the-letter-S.

Owners can’t understand why it’s not selling

The agent who took these photos really knows how to make this home look attractive enough to go check out.

He certainly does! Yet after this was sent in to Burbed, the house went pending anyway!  This is a signal to realtards everywhere: you needn’t bother with the light bulbs and Drano anymore.  These houses really do sell themselves.  All the agent needs is a camera phone.  We’ve got plenty of pictures for you, so click on through to the Open House!

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16240 WOOD ACRES Rd
Saratoga, CA 95030

$698,000

Yes. I would also guess that this home may be larger than county records. By just a little though.

Any thoughts on how one would go about measuring this?

Today we’re taking a trip to the upscale community of Saratoga, thanks to Burbed reader REshrink.  The initial write-up was originally shared on patrick.net, but REshrink thought they’d be perfect for Burbed.  Add in a visit at the Open House and we hope you agree that these pricey Eichlers make for a great Guest Post.

Neither of these Saratoga listings had sold when this column was sent in, now both are pending!  Be sure to place your bets on their selling prices.  And now, please give REshrink a big, warm Real Bay Area welcome to today’s front page.

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19201 SHUBERT Dr, Saratoga, CA 95070
$1,399,000

BEDS: 4
BATHS:4.5
SQ. FT.: 2,840
$/SQ. FT.: $493
LOT SIZE: 0.32 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Contemporary
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1964
COMMUNITY: Saratoga
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81141806
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Pending Without Release
ON REDFIN: 41 days

Gorgeous Atrium Model Eichler Home on Corner Lot! * 4bds/4.5bths, Plus Office & Workshop * Spacious Living & Dining Area w. Vaulted Natural Beam Ceilings, Tile Flrs * Gourmet Kitchen w. Large Island, Gas Stove & Lots of Counter & Cabinet Space * Open Family Room w. Fireplace * Master Suite w. Private Courtyard * Indoor Pool w. Solar * Foam Roof * Remodeled Baths * Indoor Laundry * Great Location & Saratoga Schools!

Just when you are trying to think if this house has been priced accurately at $1,399,000 (last sold in 2004 for 1.1 M) , a similar listing shows up with a price tag of $1,649,000 (19168 De Havilland Drive, pictured at left, last sold in 2003 for $1,488,000).

Is it a coincidence that these two homes are “perpendicularly” next to each other and have similar architectural styles?

Hmmm…why would an agent advise the owners of De Havilland to bring their home in market at a time when a similar property next door is priced approximately $250K lower. I acknowledge that the backyard of Schubert abuts a busy street, but $250K more, really. I will never pay $5.99/lb for tomatoes in Whole Foods if I know they are selling for $3.99/lb in Trader’s Joe next door. I know, I know…it is a bad analogy. After all, you don’t need a jumbo loan to buy tomatoes.

Moreover, the Schubert property came to the market only 18 days ago. Therefore, it is not like it has been sitting for 6 months and the owners at De Havilland got tired and decided to list their home a month before the holiday season, A.K.A. slow-real-estate season.

What kind of business decision goes in putting a home in the market for a price tag that is significantly higher than the neighboring home? If you read carefully at the listings for both homes, you will find the answer. Both these homes have something more in common; they have the same listing agent. It seems the property on Schubert, which now looks like a bargain at $1,399,000, is being marketed at the expense of De Havilland. So, buyers don’t delay or you will miss the deal at Schubert; that is if you can get past the bidding war in an attempt to get it for at least $1.5M, which is still $150K lower than the competition.

Any guesses what will happen to the pricing of De Havilland after Schubert is sold? Just go back to the owner of De Havilland and tell them that they should lower the price to whatever-Schubert-sold-for.

Am I the only one who wants to sympathize with the owners of De Havilland property?

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Addendum: I ended up going to the open house for the Schubert property. The agent proudly explained the updates the current owner made in the kitchen. The cabinets are indeed new but they are Ikea Adel. Please don’t get me wrong as I am a big fan of Ikea, but an increase of $300K since the last sale ($1.1M in 2004) is hard to explain by Ikea cabinets. As for the appliances, the refrigerator does not make ice, and the garbage disposal has been disconnected as it keeps getting clogged. Besides, the only fireplace in the house is now non-functional.

Also worth mentioning, the whole house smelled of Chlorine (from the indoor swimming pool). This stands in contrast to the real estate agent’s false claim about the house having a salt water pool.  The agent tried to mask the cheap-motel-chlorine-swimming-pool-smell by baking garlic-chicken in the oven during the open house. May be, the agent should have followed the traditional route of baking cookies. While the smell of Chlorine was enough to trigger my migraine, I found a few people leaving right away as the smell of garlic was nauseating.

So, here is a wonderful Ikealer, I mean an Eichler for you to buy for $1,399,000 only. As most people might know, the attraction of any Eichler is their architectural philosophy of bringing outside indoors, Well, this purpose has been well achieved in this particular Eichler. The outside noise from Cox Ave can be heard inside the home in its full glory.

 

I read a lot of real estate sites in order to bring you Burbed-worthy features.  Recently, I found an agent’s special “Astonishing Homes” page that looked absolutely scrumptious.  Plenty of seven and even eight-figure high-end properties on acres of land with great schools.

Now I know absolutely nothing about this particular agent, but all these homes were on MLS. Member agents can detail any MLS listings in their region, and Sophia Delacotte put together a webpage with nicer luxury properties for people to get some real estate pr0n action.  But something was amiss when I took a closer look at the actual listings.

With ten different houses, that’s ten front facades and ten sets of details.  I have all that waiting for you inside, but before you join me, make your prediction how many of these ten estate properties:

• Sold (pending within 7 days)
• Sold (pending within 30 days)
• Sold in a longer timeframe
• Are still active on MLS
• Had their listing withdrawn
• Had a price reduction at some point

For “bunus” yucks, guess how many of these ten estate homes have marble columns.

Got your guesses ready?  Good.  Now, let’s see these Astonishing Homes and find out if you’re as Astonished as I was.

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Thanks very much to Burbed reader Tracy for this bubbly find in Saratoga!  Just the pick-me-up for Spring Bounce.  Cheers!

20615 Leonard Rd, Saratoga CA 95070
$1,798,000

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 2.5
SQ. FT.: 2,142
$/SQ. FT.: $839
LOT SIZE: 0.74 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Ranch, Traditional
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Green Belt, Mountains
YEAR BUILT: 1952
COMMUNITY: Saratoga
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81112417
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 18 days

location. location. location. Area of malty million$$$ home (homes up to $4,700,000 sold in the street). Huge and beautiful 3/4 of acre(32200 square feet 161 by 200) land close to down town and schools and shopping. make your appointment. beautifully situated on top of very quiet street. Home was remodel 20 years ago and still needs some work. Fix it now or simply move to it and fix it lather.

Definitely location, location, location if they’re selling malty million$$$ home in the street.  Sound’s like every day is St. Patrick’s day with this view of the Green Belt, wow, you think they have any red pixels left in that camera?  And on-street sales, definitely a big brew party.  make your appointment.

You have a choice: fix it now or simply move to it and fix it lather.  Just make sure you got the fridge plugged in so you can pre-chill your mug.

Judging from the tile in this kitchen I think a remodel 20 years ago means they got a close-out on this stuff.  This design screams 1988.  And 8s are lucky!

What I really like about this listing is how the agent is barely literate, but tries to pull a fast one on us.

As you can see from the map, the house is fifth on the right from a major arterial that was once a state highway.  But how about this for deceptive? 

(homes up to $4,700,000 sold in the street)

Wow, there’s a $4.7M sale on that street (excuse me, sold in the street)?  Could it be… the ginormous parcel where the road curves a bit?  Ya think?  Maybe the house isn’t worth sparge and the value is in the land?  If you want a malty million dollar house, hop to it and buy both neighbors’ places, scrape ‘em, profit!  You’ll be at lager-heads with the remaining neighbors, but don’t let it ale you.

Here is a little news that will have some of you quaking in your boots: You could lose your prestigious 408 area code.  Oh noez!

Santa Clara County’s 408 will spin off a new area code: 669

By Bruce Newman, SJ Mercury News
Posted: 03/07/2011 06:18:25 AM PST ; Updated: 03/07/2011 01:51:36 PM PST

There are 8 million phone numbers in the naked city. And no matter who you were calling in San Jose — or large swaths of the South Bay — for the past half century, you’ve had to dial this: area code 408.

But with the explosive proliferation of cell phones, wireless IP addresses and 4G-enabled baby pacifiers, the area code that has served San Jose since neighbors could listen in on each other’s party line calls is officially "exhausted."

That conclusion — arrived at by the Orwellian-sounding North American Numbering Plan Administration, or NANPA, in December — means some South Bay phone customers will start being assigned area code 669 by the end of next year.

Deciding who gets to hang onto their 408, and who becomes a 669, is the job of the California Public Utilities Commission, which will convene hearings March 16-18 in San Jose, Los Gatos and Morgan Hill to explain the switch.

Brie is 415, Velveeta is 408.  Columnist Herb Caen played the Area Code Game in the SF Chronicle, back in the early 1980s.  That was before all those other area codes bloomed in the little family tree above.  Now I guess Brie is 650, Velveeta is 209, Kraft American is 925, Vegan Gourmet Cheese Alternative is 831, and ten pound blocks of government cheese is 510.  Oh, 415 and 408?  415 is Myzithra.  408 is whatever you put in front of them, it’s not like they’re tasting it while they’re writing iOS device drivers.

The new area code will be arriving by October 2012.  So, who’s going to go to the CPUC meetings to complain about losing their Silicon Valley area code?  There are a couple of proposals, one of them where everyone keeps their numbers and new ones are assigned the 669 code (the overlay), and the other where there is an area code split.

Next up for this kind of torture will be area code 510, forecast to run out of available phone number blocks by 2016.  415 should follow a year later.  And bet you didn’t know this: a new area code should have kicked in ten years ago, but by pooling phone number blocks everyone has been able to keep their area code and their seven digit dialing.

Below is the map of the proposed 408-669 split.  It comes from the CPUC, who obviously don’t care much about geographical features such as city borders, streets, freeways, or rivers.  So good luck figuring out whether this map actually affects you.  Also note how they don’t commit to who gets to keep the coveted 408 identity, but I’ll tell you who: it’s the B People.

But don’t get too upset, after meeting with the telephone providers,the CPUC is inclined to go with the overlay plan anyway. And that means instead of turning Los Gatos, Campbell, Saratoga, and San Jose West into 69ers, instead the newbies are going to have that 669 area code.  It also means that you’ll have to dial eleven digits when making phone calls, even to next door, or for that matter to the fax machine in the same room.  Have fun reprogramming just about anything you have that calls phone numbers, and hoping that your alarm company and your cable company and anything else doesn’t forget to switch over to 1-408+number dialing.

And what this means for Burbed readers is that Silicon Valley area code jokes are going to get a lot more raunchy.  Have fun figuring out what kind of cheese they are.

Here’s an opportunity that doesn’t come along every day!  Wouldn’t you like to enroll your teen in Lynbrook High School, in the “we’re actively throwing nonresidents out of our schools” Fremont Union HSD?

Of course, there’s a catch.  To take advantage of this amazing offer, you have to already live in the FUHSD attendance area.  Talk about the rich getting richer!  Here’s the most recent test scores, for those fortunate enough to consider this amazing (and very limited) opportunity.

School	City	2010 Growth, 2009 base API
Cupertino HS	Cupertino	891 / 879
Fremont HS	Sunnyvale	730 / 740
Homestead HS	Cupertino*	858 / 852
Lynbrook HS	San Jose	939 / 925
Monta Vista HS	Cupertino	943 / 935

*Located right at Cupertino/Sunnyvale border and the vast majority of students are from Sunnyvale, with remainder from Cupertino and Los Altos.  Hey Fremont, the “growth” API means it’s supposed to get BIGGER than the “base” score.  That means the growth number is supposed to go UP.  You know.  MORE.

And some other wanna-be high schools are almost as aggressive about removing “illegal students” as FUHSD.  What a sincere form of flattery, hiring a private detective to ferret out people living on the wrong street.

Any zip that isn’t in the Top 50 shouldn’t qualify for Real Bay Area (RBA) status, right?  Here are the Bay Area zips in Forbes Magazine’s Most Expensive Zip Codes #51 through 100.  Since these aren’t good enough to have made the cut, we can assume any city featured here is no longer fit to inhabit the RBA.  So enjoy reading about these loservilles, that are still more expensive than most anywhere else in the country.

In case you missed the previous entries in this series, the Top 25 appear here, and #26-50 can be found here.  I encourage you to check them out, as obviously they are better places to live than what you’ll find in this article.

#53 – 94920 Tiburon

Median Home Price: $2,046,939

Median Price Change: -22%

Average Days On Market: 126

Inventory: 116 properties

Median Household Income:$106,492

Yeesh, down 22%.  No RBA for you, Tiburon.  Wait, we already saw this zip.  It’s also #8.  So, um, they split Belvedere from Tiburon?

Well, well, well, there are 39 properties for sale in Belvedere (median home price, $3.28 million), and 116 here.  And yet both places have (what a surprise) the exact same median household income.

You blew it again, Forbes.  Am I going to have to rewrite that entire article for you?

#59 – 94588 Danville

Median Home Price: $1,922,523

Median Price Change: NA

Average Days On Market: 276

Inventory: 4 properties

Median Household Income: $92,644

Be sure to check out this East Bay interloper: the idiots at Forbes got the wrong map.  They can’t tell Danville from Dublin. And with only 4 properties on the market, they have no idea if it’s up or down.

Maybe those East Coast provincials ought to be told they’ve managed the equivalent of confusing Westhampton Beach with Levittown.

 

#62 – 94904 Kentfield

Median Home Price: $1,911,822

Median Price Change: 6%

Average Days On Market: 99

Inventory: 40 properties

Median Household Income: $82,528

This Marin County city is right next to Ross and may even manage to get more precipitation.  Why people would want to live here when they could buy a palace in San Jose is beyond me.  Plus San Jose only gets 11 inches of rain a year.

And San Jose is so much closer to Google!  Priorities, people!

 

#69 – 94970 Stinson Beach

Median Home Price: $1,790,196

Median Price Change: -7%

Average Days On Market: 232

Inventory: 27 properties

Median Household Income: $88,184

Stinson Beach can’t be in the RBA, it’s down 7%, and next to Bolinas, home of the high-priced water meter.

First one to make a joke about this zip code’s ranking and “Sex on the Beach” is going to be asked to leave the room.

No, I do not want to hear about what that peninsula with Seadrift Road looks like.  You all have filthy minds.  Yes, especially you.

#71 – 94024 Los Altos

Median Home Price: $1,746,928

Median Price Change: -6%

Average Days On Market: 91

Inventory: 67 properties

Median Household Income: NA

Down 6%, and another zip-splitter.

Seriously, is there anything funny to say about Los Altos?  Other than the featured listing that’s running tomorrow, that is?

Well, that and the dude with the cellular antenna farm.

And the fact that this same zip in Los Altos Hills is ranked so much higher at #18.  And that Forbes couldn’t tell the difference between the two and showed houses from Los Altos when featuring The Hills Hills.  And yet, 67 properties here, 15 properties there. Household income, not available here, not available there. Oh, oh. They match.

#73 – 94301 Palo Alto

Median Home Price: $1,730,889

Median Price Change: -6%

Average Days On Market: 128

Inventory: 58 properties

Median Household Income: $97,758

We already knew this zip code wasn’t in the RBA anymore.  Its low ranking merely proves it.  As does this listing which hasn’t sold in more than 2 years.

Didn’t we all agree not to talk about Palo Alto anymore?  Anyone?  Bueller?

Oh yeah, Steve Jobs lives here!

 

#74 – 94611 Piedmont

Median Home Price: $1,709,577

Median Price Change: -3%

Average Days On Market: 96

Inventory: 23 properties

Median Household Income: $68,853

Down 3%, and suspiciously Bradburylike.  Oakland, I tell you, it’s surrounded by Oakland!

And a freeway runs through it!  Just like Oakland!

And this place hasn’t sold yet. And neither has this one.  This city is FAIL: 100% of its listings on burbed unsold!

 

#83 – 95070 Saratoga

Median Home Price: $1,652,013

Median Price Change: -1%

Average Days On Market: 124

Inventory: 177 properties

Median Household Income: $138,206

Down 1%.  That’s borderline for remaining in the RBA, but coming in at #83 just cannot be allowed.

Can anyone remember why Saratoga used to be in the RBA?  What exactly did it do to get there in the first place?  Why should a city with seven different school districts thinks it’s real anything?

I say no, not until they manage to sell this house.

#84 – 95030 Monte Sereno

Median Home Price: $1,647,239

Median Price Change: -34%

Average Days On Market: 142

Inventory: 84 properties

Median Household Income: $117,564

Stop me if you’ve seen this zip code before.

Down 34%. Wait, it’s right next to Saratoga.  Plus borrowing Los Gatos’ zip code.  84 properties?  WTF?  In a town of 3,483?  And only 53 properties listed in Los Gatos (#38), population 28,592?  That’s a real knee-slapper!  Now can you tell me the one about the Santa Claran, the San Joseite, and the Saratoger?

 

#92 – 94123 San Francisco

Median Home Price: $1,609,753

Median Price Change: 9%

Average Days On Market: 58

Inventory: 63 properties

Median Household Income: $84,710

burbed, voted best real estate blog in San Francisco, would like to welcome 94123 to the list of Most Expensive Zip Codes!  This is the first zip in San Francisco to make the cut.  And that is really awful, because several New York City and Los Angeles zips have already shown up.  Congrats, you losers.

Up 9%.  This is the Marina District and includes some of Billionaire’s Row.  Yes, including the place selling for $45 million.

#93 – 94506 Blackhawk

Median Home Price: $1,604,976

Median Price Change: 19%

Average Days On Market: 143

Inventory: 51 properties

Median Household Income: $142,459

Up 19%.  Wait, this is the East Bay.  Prices don’t go up in the East Bay.  The proper expression is “Blackhawk down.”

Seriously, this is a developer-designed golf-course community that didn’t even exist before 1980.  Having this zip appear right after one full of history, architecture, design, and taste is just wrong.

 

#94 – 94022 Los Altos

Median Home Price: $1,600,139

Median Price Change: -28%

Average Days On Market: 87

Inventory: 53 properties

Median Household Income: NA

Wait, is today Groundhog Day?  Didn’t I just say something about Los Altos Hills, and that we already saw this zip, and that… someone must have hit me over the head, because I’m seeing double.  Los Altos Hills in this same zip is #15 on this list, with a median home price of $3.04 million.  And (what a coincidence), 58 properties.  Sloppy work, Forbes, very sloppy.

This place doesn’t even have the cell phone antenna farm!

And that’s it for the Also Rans of the Most Expensive Zip Codes in the Whole Fracking Country.  Except… the list goes to 500 zips.  If you don’t want to see anymore of these Bing Maps, commence whining.

Next installment in this thrilling series: The Most Expensive Zip Codes, Volume 714,

19730 Glen Una Dr, Saratoga CA
$7,800,000

(He) Honey, I think I found the perfect estate for us
(She) Do tell, pumpkin pie!
(He) Well first, it is fabulous, and it has gorgeous, breathtaking vistas
(She) Hmmm, sounds rather moisturizing!
(He) But wait, we can invite our car lover friends to enjoy the garage with us! The setting is private and gated.
(She) Say, this is a wet dream!
(He) A dream you can build! And once in the garage, we have license to divide and reproduce. Well worth the $1,656/sqf, if you ask me! But you don’t know the best part…
(She) Do tell, I am breathless
(He) Wait until you see the gracious existing home with classic architecture!
(She) … Pumpkin pie, is that a manger?