Today’s listing is courtesy of Burbed reader Swan, who sends us a Sunnyvale spectacular.  That’s provided that by “spectacular” I really mean “OMG what a crapbox!”  Seriously, I have had my eye on this house for several years and have been waiting for it to get listed so I could share it here.

 

1035 W HOMESTEAD Rd, Sunnyvale, CA 94087
$899,999

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,890
$/SQ. FT.: $476
LOT SIZE: 7,171 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1958
COMMUNITY: Sunnyvale
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81146339
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 4 days

Very Nice Eichler with enclosed Attrium and Cupertino Schools, Spacious Living Room and Family Room w/ a gorgeous fireplce, Master Suite w/ Walk-In Closet, Tile, Attached 2 Car Garage, Large 7200sf lot with a Pool, Indoor Laundry, additional 500sf with enclosed Attrium not on MLS, West Valley Elementary, Cupertino Middle, Homestead High! This Home will sell fast, all offers considered. Needs TLC.

Here’s what Swan thought about this delightful domicile:

It’s on Homestead, right next to the entrance to the CMS [Cupertino Middle School] track.  My hubby and I have noticed this house for years as it becomes more and more run down.  I love how the agent says the home will sell fast.  I went by it on my bike the other day.  The house needs a new garage door, new fence, new roof, and who knows what else.  Though the agent did not go out of his way on the photos, he at least took them from an angle and from across the street to hide the poor condition of the home.

I agree that the price is insane. That home, especially the roof, has not been cared for in years. My husband is a contractor and every time we go by, he says, "That poor house."

I am just happy the owners listed this place while it was still standing upright.  I don’t know when the Streetview shot above was taken, but it could hardly have gotten much better.

But that asking price? On what planet will this pile “sell fast”?  Are there really people out there that eager desperate for Cupertino schools?

Remember this place?  At least it’s on a court (right off another busy street) and it isn’t moving for $30K less, with lucky 8s instead of 9s).

I also love that this place has an Attrium that has an additional 500 sf not on MLS.  Maybe the realtard made a spelling oops and is really saying this house is full of expensive rare earths like Yttrium!  It must be important, because the Attrium is mentioned twice, just like the Cupertino schools.  I SAID CUPERTINO SCHOOLS, EVERYBODY!

Now, everybody into the pool!  Ahhhhhh.

So who would buy this?  Somebody who really, really, really wants those schools.  Somebody who wants them enough to put up with a busy street near a freeway interchange, a house falling to pieces, and the delightful shrieks of children being forced to run the mile over and over.

Today’s finds are from Burbed reader Tracy, featuring the double delights of craptacular East San Jose properties with aggressive out-of-the-box marketing, and that’s just for starters!

 

Somewhere on Clayton Road, San Jose 95127
$1

For Sale:$1

Zestimate^®:$288,800

Mortgage: $0/mo
Beds: 2
Baths: 1
Sqft: 1,152
Lot: —
Type: Single Family
Year built: 1949
Parking: —
Cooling: —
Heating: —
Fireplace: —
On Zillow: 34 days
County: Santa Clara
Covered parking spaces: 2
Legal description: —
Parcel #: —
Per floor sqft: 1,152
Zillow Home ID: 2124087924

COMING SOON. WE DON?T KNOW THE PRICE YET. BANK OWNED! IF YOU’RE A SERIOUS BUYER CALL ANN 408-561-7539 OR E-MAIL [email protected] FOR SHOWING & WRITE UP OFFER TODAY! IF THIS IS NOT THE HOUSE FOR YOU, WE HAVE OVER 50 MORE FORECLOSURE LISTINGS THAT WILL BE GOING ON THE MARKET/MLS SOON!Brokered AndAdvertised By: Ann ThaiListing Agent: Ann Thai

Here’s what Tracy had to say about this and some other similarly placed houses by this agent.

Yesterday I discovered a Zillow mystery. An Agent Ann Thai who advertises “ foreclosures to come”  by listing the houses with no address, or no price. See “clayton rd, SJ CA  # 95127 .”  I found numerous postings by this realtor, all with the same MO. Not sure if it’s a scam, but something about it seems like a manipulation of the MLS system/ Zillow. 

Let me know what you think if you have a chance. Is it wrong?  I am wondering if I should call, but I have called these forclosuretors before and it was nothing but slime.

What do you think, readers?  Is this nothing but slime?  Couldn’t there be some sleaze and scum in the frothy mix as well? Tracy sent this in two weeks ago, so clearly this realtard has a looser definition of “soon” than most of us do.  Kind of like “mañana” but without the sense of urgency.

Here are two more properties listed in the same way, but with addresses so you can check them out a little more.  First we have a high-res, high visibility property in not-Campbell with a “potting shed.” The quotation marks say it all: something was spinning in there.

176 N Bascom Ave, San Jose 95128
$1

and this one that has a watermark in the tanbark, along with “Landscaping, carpet, paint, linoleum, fixtures, lights, heater&more!”  So many extras!

1258 Ortiz Ct, Sunnyvale 94089
$1

Each of these homes in turn link to Redfin pages saying “Foreclosed Home: Not for Sale” as you can verify yourself for both the Bascom Ave and Ortiz Ct properties.  You can also get the full text on the Zillow links on each address, and most of it is an assurance that there are 50 MORE FORECLOSURE LISTINGS THAT WILL BE GOING ON THE MARKET/MLS SOON.

Also let us know how you do making a full asking price offer of a dollar on any of these winners!  You could be featuring an even faster flip than the pros in Redwood City can manage, and we promise to give it plenty of Burbed love.

Thanks very much to Burbed reader Tuxxi for this find, adjacent to the “Holy crap, this place is full of armored personnel carriers with SWAT teams carrying assault rifles” neighborhood in Sunnyvale (formerly known as Birdland Neighbors).  Or is that Occupy Sunnyvale?

 

952 MARION Way, Sunnyvale, CA 94087
$1,549,000

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 3.5
SQ. FT.: 3,600
$/SQ. FT.: $430
LOT SIZE: 9,424 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 2
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 2011
COMMUNITY: Sunnyvale
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81139592
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 27 days

Gorgeous Custom Built Home * Formal Living & Dining Area, High Ceiling, Gas Fireplace * Gourmet Kitchen w. Cherry Cabinets, Granite Counters, Large Island, Family Room * Office w. French Doors * Master Suite w. Jacuzzi Tub, Double Vanity, Walk In Closet * “Jack & Jill” Bedrooms & Den Upstairs * One Bed/Bath Downstairs * Cherry Hardwood Flrs * Crown Molding * Coffer Ceilings * Milgard Windows * Beautiful Attention to Detail!

There are two reasons Tuxxi sent this in to Burbed.  First, the neighborhood.  Serf hut next door, check!

Beautiful view across the street, check!

I even attempted a drive-by to find some reported appliances on a front lawn, but didn’t have any luck with that.  I did, however, find this “Persian Palace” a block away.

And by Persian Palace, I’m not saying the owners are from Iran; the term has come to mean an overdone (for the neighborhood) new home with unrelated design elements, the more, the “better.”  While this place doesn’t have mawbul kawlums, it was the fountain and the lions that made me notice it, and I don’t mean “notice” in a good way.  This is Beverly Hills flats wanna-be in a really hinky part of Sunnyvale.  Think Rancho Rinconada, but with lousier schools.

In fact, the entire neighborhood is a complete mishmash of construction projects, McMansions, crapboxes, and “pride of ownership” fifties ranchers, so in some bizarre way the above house isn’t as awful as it could be.

But back to the featured house.  Tuxxi collected the flyer and it’s the second reason this place is on the front page today.

Take a good look at the tagline for this place:

That attention to detail will is what you’re paying 6% of $1.5 million for.  Meanwhile, I’m wondering, a mil and a half for SUNNYVALE?  A mil and a half for SUNNYVALE with SANTA CLARA SCHOOLS?  A mil and a half for Sunnyvale with Santa Clara schools and NO SIDEWALKS?  A mil and a half for Sunnyvale with Santa Clara schools with no sidewalks OR CURBS?

I cannot wait to meet the buyer who thinks this is a DEAL, because I plan on doing a lot of business with whoever that is.  I don’t even know what kind of business, I just know it’s going to be very profitable for one of us.

      Cherry Blossom Time
      Classical haiku subject
      Indicating Spring

Here’s a find from the Sunnyvale Historical Museum: an ad for an apartment complex in a book given out to Lockheed workers transferring here from Van Nuys.

No full-color pictures, just a wall of text and a little map so you can barely tell what street the rentals are on.  But wow, oh, wow: shuffleboard!  And $97.50 a month.  In 1965.  I suspect the place will rent for a tad more than that now, if it’s still standing.

This place is indeed still standing.  And you can Apply On-Line!  Just check out what you get when you throw away your rent money:

Community Amenities*

• Covered Parking
• Large Private, Enclosed Patio
• Pool (Out Door)
• Storage Space
• OnSite Maintenance
• Assigned Parking
• 2 24hr Laundry Rooms
• OnSite Management

What? No more shuffleboard?

The rent is now $1,399 for a 615 square foot 1 bedroom apartment (complete with hand-drawn floor plan!).

Completely different text now:

Welcome to Cherry Blossom Apartment Homes. We are conveniently located near El Camino and Wolfe Rd in Sunnyvale. Great Quiet, Neighborhood! Our One bedroom/One bath are all Single Story(no one living above you.) Quite Spacious, and Airy. We are in walking distance to public transportation, grocery stores, restaurants, Santa Clara Schools(Including Ponderosa and Braly Elementary) and (Peterson Jr. High), Sunken Gardens Golf Course, Parks and Starbucks. We accept cats with a small security deposit and have no pet rent! Also included with your rent is water and garbage! Call or Stop by for a tour, and don’t forget to ask if there is any specials. We are professionally managed by FPI, and thrive to make your home a happy one!

Wow, they give you garbage for your rent!  Worth it for the extra $1301 they’re charging for a place built before 1965.  But no shuffleboard.

Today’s listing is courtesy of Burbed reader Swan, who noted that this property is right up the street from the Butte-ugly house. But it’s also literally steps away from this one we featured back in March.  The price, however, is not just steps away.  Your job is to figure out why!

 

1548 S BERNARDO Ave, Sunnyvale, CA 94087
$795,000

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,435
$/SQ. FT.: $554
LOT SIZE: 7,956 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Mountains, Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1956
COMMUNITY: Sunnyvale
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81135131
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 24 days

Award winning cupertino school, Hardwood floors throughout great large yard for the Family, Convient location

Ah, I’ve figured it out already.  This house only has “award winning cupertino school.”  The other house down the street was “with all three good Schools- West Valley, Cupertino Middle, Homestead High (FUHSD).”  It even ordered us to “Compare the price to other homes with all three Good schools!”  So it’s two schools better despite being on the exact same block!  That should cover eighty thou, no problem.  After all, if you don’t claim the schools, you don’t get the sale.  Don’t believe me?  Ask the owner on Butte Court how fast that place turned over since being listed 31 days ago and counting.

Meanwhile today’s tragedy is asking $80K less than the one up the street that wouldn’t shut up about schools.  Someone ought to take that pricey house down a peg and remind it that CUSD is a failing school district anyway.

These pictures re-emphasize what a crapbox we’re looking at, but at least this house seems to have included a refrigerator.  And a convient location.  To the freeway.

Here’s a great find in a decent part of Sunnyvale, which is like the quality line of Velveeta products, or the Premium label at JC Penney.  You know it’s not that terrific, but it’s better than what the typical shopper buying that brand is going to get.

 

1090 BUTTE Ct, Sunnyvale, CA 94087
$903,000

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,380
$/SQ. FT.: $654
LOT SIZE: 7,752 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Ranch
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1957
COMMUNITY: Sunnyvale
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81134393
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 23 days

Staged for sale. Court location, just off of 85 freeway. Fresh interior paint. New flooring and crown molding accent. Great year around patio room, makes for great office. Garage converted into a large well finished multi-purpose room and separate laundry. Updated kitchen. Detached workshop taken as is. Large landscaped yard.

Maybe this listing needs to be translated from Realtardese back to English.

Staged for sale – As opposed to staged for impressing the neighbors

Court location – See you in bankruptcy court

just off of 85 freeway – This is completely 100% true!  If the house were any closer you could use that solar-powered call box!

Fresh interior paint – To cover up all the blood, phlegm and tobacco stains on the walls

New flooring – Above dripped onto the old flooring

and crown molding accent – Owners need dental work AND elocution lessons

Great year around patio room – 1957 was the bee’s knees!

makes for great office – Since every year after then was a pretty ordinary one

Garage converted into a large well – It was pretty easy, we didn’t repair the roof and let the water collect

finished multi-purpose room – You can eat AND watch TV!

and separate laundry – Get to work! Darks here, lights here, bright colors in this basket.  Don’t put your clothes drying rack in the garage, we converted it into a well.

Updated kitchen – Premium Formica with Naugahyde stools in harvest gold and avocado green!

Detached workshop taken as is – Leaving you with none of it

Large – compared to lots in South Palo Alto

landscaped yard – We didn’t rip the lawn out yet.

Oh, oh.  You know what they didn’t say?  There’s no mention of those amazing CUPERTINO SCHOOLS.  Gasp!  Is this seller not aware that this house has CUPERTINO SCHOOLS?  And the Realtard didn’t mention it either?  Maybe none of them know!  Hurry!  Buy this house before they figure it out and mark the price up to $1,088,888!

Here’s a find from Burbed reader nomadic, who wants to know how this house managed to sell.  That’s easy, nomadic!  It’s in the best zip code in Sunnyvale, and that’s really saying something.  It’s just like owning the best model Chevrolet builds.

 

1109 ROBIN Way, Sunnyvale, CA 94087
Listed for $729,000 after 3 reductions, Sold for $692,000

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,860
$/SQ. FT.: $372
LOT SIZE: 8,800 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Traditional
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1963
COMMUNITY: Sunnyvale
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81118566
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Sold

Impressive 4 Bedroom 2 Bath with a Large country kitchen that has been remodeled with Beautiful corean counters, Stainless steel Appliances and Gorgeous cabinets. Large spacious Bedrooms, Beautiful built in heated pool with a lovely covered patio. AWARD WINNING SCHOOLS CHERRY CHASE ELEM, SUNNYSIDE MIDDLE, HOMESTEAD HIGH.

What school district a house is in matters to most purchasers.  If it didn’t matter, this agent wouldn’t have put the schools in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS like THIS.  Then again, if schools were that important to making a sale, you would think the agent would GET THE NAME OF THE MIDDLE SCHOOL RIGHT.

There are two middle schools in the Sunnyvale school district: Columbia and Sunnyvale.  This house is Special, though.  It has Super Secret Extra Bunus middle school: SUNNYSIDE!  Or the Realtard can’t be bothered to learn school names, which are THE MOST IMPORTANT THING BUYERS WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THE PROPERTY.  Sunnyvale, Sunnyside, what’s the difference?

Not much difference at all!  So let’s move on to the house itself.  Fortunately Team Redfin has been working together and sharing everything to find us our perfect home!

Whoa, major wear and tare?  Does that mean a noxious Biblical weed infestation or that we have to subtract the weight of the shipping containers the house came in?

Okay, enough sniping at silly spelling mistakes.  Some people are made to be copy editors, some create first-person shooter games, and some have a talent for selling houses worth over half a million dollars by making charming mistakes throughout the reams of paperwork.  The agent did make the effort to take several shots throughout the property.  So let’s admire all the photos of this house.

And I won’t even shrink them down, they are at their full 90×120 resolution!  But here’s something that did shrink, and quickly:

Should I praise this Realtard for making some seriously deep price cuts when the house didn’t sell quickly, or bury him for starting so high in the first place? 

Anyone check out Fusion Sunnyvale?  Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer found some of the marketing copy a little over the top:

Your life is a frenzy of color, flashing lights and movement. Facebook. Twitter. Email. Blogging. Texting. Meetings. Deadlines. Commuting.

Every day you take on the world. So, you deserve to come home to a beautiful place where you can recharge and relax, entertain and regroup. You want a neighborhood that is alive and vibrant with a fitness room to workout, places to mingle and space to hang out with your friends. You deserve soothing gardens to wander, a putting green to play and walking paths for your dog. It’s your time to do what you want, when you want, in your own community.

Introducing Fusion at Sunnyvale, a townhome community filled with everyday things that fuse your life. The homes have style and all the features you desire at a price you can afford. At the hub of the neighborhood, there is a fitness center, theater, Wi-Fi bar and fire pit. Everything that you need at the end of a long day.
So take on the world, then come home. To Fusion.

As Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer correctly notes, you can’t spell FUSION without F-U.

So let’s take a good look at this complex that’s such a wonderful place to call home, they show a chair instead of the “Spanish-Eclectic and contemporary architecture by KTGY architects.”

You have to click all the way down to BLOG to find out what the place looks like!  And the name of the blog?  “Short Fuse.”  How clever!  They already worked out that the properties would be selling shortly through their preferred lenders!  (More coming shortly after the break!)

(more…)

Cupertino Villas was first featured in Burbed all the way back in 2006!  One thing hasn’t changed: it still isn’t in Cupertino.  The Cupertino Villas condos are located at Wolfe Road and Fremont Avenue in Sunnyvale.

Before it was converted to condos, this was an apartment complex called Avalon, and before that it was known as Promenade. Let’s just say the residents weren’t very fond of the management, as shown in this discussion thread. Here is a particularly passionate entry:

Here Si The List Of Bad Things, Small And Big.

From: -Anonymous-
Date posted: 6/1/2003
Years at this apartment: 2002 – 2003

1. no privacy. kitchen windows and living room windows are open right next to your neighbors. architect must be an idiot.
1. no sunlights. cold in most of the season and hot in summer. so many times, you think it’s very cold today, but outside, it is very sunny and warm.
1. berrys drop on your car in the parking lot.
1. parking lots have very narrow grids. i hate whoever drew these lines. idiot! make just one less spot and other 8-10 cars will be happy.
1. mail box area located in a stupid spot. stop, get out of your car, cross the road and pick up mails while your car clogs the road.
1. mail box full of advertisement papers. these are not mails! mail man works for whom’ us or them’ there must be bribing.
1. the main entrance has a deep groove. you always scratch the bottom head of your car. who the hell built this complex”
1. noise and thin walls are rather a general problems in all other apt complexes, i guess. so i wouldn’t complain.
1. so many people move in and out, which suggests there are problems here.
some good things.
1. maintenance is not bad. quick.
1. apt clean and well maintained

Many of these problems (no privacy, no sun, thin walls) weren’t going to be fixed by turning this place condo, short of tearing everything down.  And yes, every item is numbered “1.” even though I would assume the author meant this to be either sequentially numbered or a bulleted list.

Let’s see how successful Cupertino Villas is in its new Ownership Society incarnation!

880 E FREMONT Ave #208, Sunnyvale, CA 94087
$190,000

BEDS: 1
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 733
$/SQ. FT.: $259
LOT SIZE: 1,306 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Condominium
STYLE: Traditional
STORIES: 1-3 (Low Rise)
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1987
COMMUNITY: Sunnyvale
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81126565
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 13 days

Granite kitchen counters, maple cabinets and stainless Steel appliances. Located on the 2nd floor with a balcony. Minutes to APPLE. 2 parking spaces. Complex is in litigation. Agent and seller has no information on litigation. Short Sale/needs approval. Cash offers preferred.

This is a marvelous opportunity to pay cash money to rescue a homedebtor from this underwater nightmare. It comes complete with matching lawsuit!  But you get Cupertino schools, and it’s minutes to Apple! Okay, 8 minutes with no traffic,15 minutes in traffic, and that’s 2.8 miles driving without even getting on a freeway. (It’s even fewer minutes to the new spaceship site.)

2006 was a great year to be selling condos, but a terrible one to have bought one.  This isn’t the only unit available with huge chunks of instant equity compared to the original selling price.  For example, today’s listing sold for, oops, $335K at the end of 2005.

$595,000

185 FLORENCE St Sunnyvale, CA 94086

Beds:	2
Baths:	1
Sq. Ft.:	610
$/Sq. Ft.:	$975
Lot Size:	6,000 Sq. Ft.
Property Type:	Detached Single Family
Style:	Ranch
Stories:	1
View:	Neighborhood
Year Built:	1910
Community:	Sunnyvale
County:	Santa Clara
MLS#:	81055660
Source:	MLSListings
Status:	Active
On Redfin:	192 days

GREAT LOCATION walking distance from the new Sunnyvale downtown shops. A great opportunity to BUILD YOUR OWN PLACE. Seller has city approved plans and permits for remodeling to 3 bed and 2 bath (1,582 sf). Contractor can start immediately. Detached garage and workshop in the back was build 10 years ago with permits. Please don’t disturb tenants. Make offer subject to inspection.

Although this has been on the market for 192 days, it sure seems familiar. Where have I seen this $975 per square foot house before?

Oh…. right….

November 18, 2009

Build your own place in Sunnyvale!

185 FLORENCE St, Sunnyvale, CA 94086 | MLS# 80944856
185 FLORENCE St Sunnyvale, CA 94086
Price: $635,000

Wait… that reminds of something else…oh… right…

September 6, 2006

400 sqft house in Sunnyvale with 2 car garage

This sure is a quaint little house…

MLSlistings Property Detail for MLS number 648556
185 FLORENCE ST
Sunnyvale, CA 94086
$605,000

This Single Family Residence has the following features:
MLS#: 648556 Approx Age: 96 Years Approx Sq Ft: 400

But here’s the surprise:

Yes, this 400 sqft house has a separate 2 car garage. Was this house originally intended for the chauffeur?

At least the garage has changed. Check it out now!

Classy!

Look at the amazing appreciation! From $605k to $635k to $595k! Can you say “equity waiting to be tapped”??