September 2, 2011

Staged for sale: Garage converted into a large well

Here’s a great find in a decent part of Sunnyvale, which is like the quality line of Velveeta products, or the Premium label at JC Penney.  You know it’s not that terrific, but it’s better than what the typical shopper buying that brand is going to get.

 

1090 BUTTE Ct, Sunnyvale, CA 94087
$903,000

image

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,380
$/SQ. FT.: $654
LOT SIZE: 7,752 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Ranch
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1957
COMMUNITY: Sunnyvale
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81134393
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 23 days

Staged for sale. Court location, just off of 85 freeway. Fresh interior paint. New flooring and crown molding accent. Great year around patio room, makes for great office. Garage converted into a large well finished multi-purpose room and separate laundry. Updated kitchen. Detached workshop taken as is. Large landscaped yard.

imageMaybe this listing needs to be translated from Realtardese back to English.

Staged for saleAs opposed to staged for impressing the neighbors

Court locationSee you in bankruptcy court

just off of 85 freewayThis is completely 100% true!  If the house were any closer you could use that solar-powered call box!

image

Fresh interior paintTo cover up all the blood, phlegm and tobacco stains on the walls

New flooringAbove dripped onto the old flooring

and crown molding accentOwners need dental work AND elocution lessons

imageGreat year around patio room1957 was the bee’s knees!

makes for great officeSince every year after then was a pretty ordinary one

Garage converted into a large wellIt was pretty easy, we didn’t repair the roof and let the water collect

finished multi-purpose roomYou can eat AND watch TV!

and separate laundryGet to work! Darks here, lights here, bright colors in this basket.  Don’t put your clothes drying rack in the garage, we converted it into a well.

imageUpdated kitchenPremium Formica with Naugahyde stools in harvest gold and avocado green!

Detached workshop taken as isLeaving you with none of it

Largecompared to lots in South Palo Alto

landscaped yardWe didn’t rip the lawn out yet.

Oh, oh.  You know what they didn’t say?  There’s no mention of those amazing CUPERTINO SCHOOLS.  Gasp!  Is this seller not aware that this house has CUPERTINO SCHOOLS?  And the Realtard didn’t mention it either?  Maybe none of them know!  Hurry!  Buy this house before they figure it out and mark the price up to $1,088,888!

Comments (16) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:08 am






August 26, 2011

AWARD WINNING SCHOOLS: SUNNYSIDE MIDDLE!

Here’s a find from Burbed reader nomadic, who wants to know how this house managed to sell.  That’s easy, nomadic!  It’s in the best zip code in Sunnyvale, and that’s really saying something.  It’s just like owning the best model Chevrolet builds.

 

1109 ROBIN Way, Sunnyvale, CA 94087
Listed for $729,000 after 3 reductions, Sold for $692,000

image

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,860
$/SQ. FT.: $372
LOT SIZE: 8,800 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Traditional
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1963
COMMUNITY: Sunnyvale
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81118566
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Sold

Impressive 4 Bedroom 2 Bath with a Large country kitchen that has been remodeled with Beautiful corean counters, Stainless steel Appliances and Gorgeous cabinets. Large spacious Bedrooms, Beautiful built in heated pool with a lovely covered patio. AWARD WINNING SCHOOLS CHERRY CHASE ELEM, SUNNYSIDE MIDDLE, HOMESTEAD HIGH.

What school district a house is in matters to most purchasers.  If it didn’t matter, this agent wouldn’t have put the schools in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS like THIS.  Then again, if schools were that important to making a sale, you would think the agent would GET THE NAME OF THE MIDDLE SCHOOL RIGHT.

There are two middle schools in the Sunnyvale school district: Columbia and Sunnyvale.  This house is Special, though.  It has Super Secret Extra Bunus middle school: SUNNYSIDE!  Or the Realtard can’t be bothered to learn school names, which are THE MOST IMPORTANT THING BUYERS WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THE PROPERTY.  Sunnyvale, Sunnyside, what’s the difference?

image

Not much difference at all!  So let’s move on to the house itself.  Fortunately Team Redfin has been working together and sharing everything to find us our perfect home!

image

Whoa, major wear and tare?  Does that mean a noxious Biblical weed infestation or that we have to subtract the weight of the shipping containers the house came in?

Okay, enough sniping at silly spelling mistakes.  Some people are made to be copy editors, some create first-person shooter games, and some have a talent for selling houses worth over half a million dollars by making charming mistakes throughout the reams of paperwork.  The agent did make the effort to take several shots throughout the property.  So let’s admire all the photos of this house.

imageimageimageimageimageimageimageimage

And I won’t even shrink them down, they are at their full 90×120 resolution!  But here’s something that did shrink, and quickly:

image

Should I praise this Realtard for making some seriously deep price cuts when the house didn’t sell quickly, or bury him for starting so high in the first place? 

Comments (25) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:01 am

August 6, 2011

Take on the world. Then come home to your tandem garage.

Anyone check out Fusion Sunnyvale?  Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer found some of the marketing copy a little over the top:

image

Your life is a frenzy of color, flashing lights and movement. Facebook. Twitter. Email. Blogging. Texting. Meetings. Deadlines. Commuting.

Every day you take on the world. So, you deserve to come home to a beautiful place where you can recharge and relax, entertain and regroup. You want a neighborhood that is alive and vibrant with a fitness room to workout, places to mingle and space to hang out with your friends. You deserve soothing gardens to wander, a putting green to play and walking paths for your dog. It’s your time to do what you want, when you want, in your own community.

Introducing Fusion at Sunnyvale, a townhome community filled with everyday things that fuse your life. The homes have style and all the features you desire at a price you can afford. At the hub of the neighborhood, there is a fitness center, theater, Wi-Fi bar and fire pit. Everything that you need at the end of a long day.
So take on the world, then come home. To Fusion.

imageAs Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer correctly notes, you can’t spell FUSION without F-U.

So let’s take a good look at this complex that’s such a wonderful place to call home, they show a chair instead of the “Spanish-Eclectic and contemporary architecture by KTGY architects.”

You have to click all the way down to BLOG to find out what the place looks like!  And the name of the blog?  “Short Fuse.”  How clever!  They already worked out that the properties would be selling shortly through their preferred lenders!  (More coming shortly after the break!)

(more…)

Comments (39) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:06 am

July 11, 2011

Cupertino Villas: Still not in Cupertino, now with Instant Equity!

imageCupertino Villas was first featured in Burbed all the way back in 2006!  One thing hasn’t changed: it still isn’t in Cupertino.  The Cupertino Villas condos are located at Wolfe Road and Fremont Avenue in Sunnyvale.

Before it was converted to condos, this was an apartment complex called Avalon, and before that it was known as Promenade. Let’s just say the residents weren’t very fond of the management, as shown in this discussion thread. Here is a particularly passionate entry:

Here Si The List Of Bad Things, Small And Big.

From: -Anonymous-
Date posted: 6/1/2003
Years at this apartment: 2002 – 2003

1. no privacy. kitchen windows and living room windows are open right next to your neighbors. architect must be an idiot.
1. no sunlights. cold in most of the season and hot in summer. so many times, you think it’s very cold today, but outside, it is very sunny and warm.
1. berrys drop on your car in the parking lot.
1. parking lots have very narrow grids. i hate whoever drew these lines. idiot! make just one less spot and other 8-10 cars will be happy.
1. mail box area located in a stupid spot. stop, get out of your car, cross the road and pick up mails while your car clogs the road.
1. mail box full of advertisement papers. these are not mails! mail man works for whom’ us or them’ there must be bribing.
1. the main entrance has a deep groove. you always scratch the bottom head of your car. who the hell built this complex”
1. noise and thin walls are rather a general problems in all other apt complexes, i guess. so i wouldn’t complain.
1. so many people move in and out, which suggests there are problems here.
some good things.
1. maintenance is not bad. quick.
1. apt clean and well maintained

Many of these problems (no privacy, no sun, thin walls) weren’t going to be fixed by turning this place condo, short of tearing everything down.  And yes, every item is numbered “1.” even though I would assume the author meant this to be either sequentially numbered or a bulleted list.

Let’s see how successful Cupertino Villas is in its new Ownership Society incarnation!

880 E FREMONT Ave #208, Sunnyvale, CA 94087
$190,000

image

BEDS: 1
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 733
$/SQ. FT.: $259
LOT SIZE: 1,306 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Condominium
STYLE: Traditional
STORIES: 1-3 (Low Rise)
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1987
COMMUNITY: Sunnyvale
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81126565
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 13 days

Granite kitchen counters, maple cabinets and stainless Steel appliances. Located on the 2nd floor with a balcony. Minutes to APPLE. 2 parking spaces. Complex is in litigation. Agent and seller has no information on litigation. Short Sale/needs approval. Cash offers preferred.

This is a marvelous opportunity to pay cash money to rescue a homedebtor from this underwater nightmare. It comes complete with matching lawsuit!  But you get Cupertino schools, and it’s minutes to Apple! Okay, 8 minutes with no traffic,15 minutes in traffic, and that’s 2.8 miles driving without even getting on a freeway. (It’s even fewer minutes to the new spaceship site.)

image

2006 was a great year to be selling condos, but a terrible one to have bought one.  This isn’t the only unit available with huge chunks of instant equity compared to the original selling price.  For example, today’s listing sold for, oops, $335K at the end of 2005.

Comments (28) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:05 am

June 27, 2011

Build your own home in Sunnyvale!

$595,000

Beds: 2
Baths: 1
Sq. Ft.: 610
$/Sq. Ft.: $975
Lot Size: 6,000 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Ranch
Stories: 1
View: Neighborhood
Year Built: 1910
Community: Sunnyvale
County: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81055660
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active

On Redfin: 192 days
GREAT LOCATION walking distance from the new Sunnyvale downtown shops. A great opportunity to BUILD YOUR OWN PLACE. Seller has city approved plans and permits for remodeling to 3 bed and 2 bath (1,582 sf). Contractor can start immediately. Detached garage and workshop in the back was build 10 years ago with permits. Please don’t disturb tenants. Make offer subject to inspection.

Although this has been on the market for 192 days, it sure seems familiar. Where have I seen this $975 per square foot house before?

Oh…. right….

November 18, 2009

Build your own place in Sunnyvale!

185 FLORENCE St, Sunnyvale, CA 94086 | MLS# 80944856
185 FLORENCE St Sunnyvale, CA 94086
Price: $635,000

185

Wait… that reminds of something else…oh… right…

September 6, 2006

400 sqft house in Sunnyvale with 2 car garage

This sure is a quaint little house…

MLSlistings Property Detail for MLS number 648556
185 FLORENCE ST
Sunnyvale, CA 94086
$605,000

185florence.jpg

This Single Family Residence has the following features:
MLS#: 648556 Approx Age: 96 Years Approx Sq Ft: 400

But here’s the surprise:

185florenceb.jpg

Yes, this 400 sqft house has a separate 2 car garage. Was this house originally intended for the chauffeur?

At least the garage has changed. Check it out now!

image

Classy!

Look at the amazing appreciation! From $605k to $635k to $595k! Can you say “equity waiting to be tapped”??

Comments (33) -- Posted by: burbed @ 5:30 am

June 16, 2011

Byr ISO Lstg w/o Abbrvs

Today’s featured listing is from comments, found by Burbed reader Real Estater.  The listing copy seems a mite heavy on the abbreviations.  Maybe this agent is charged per letter of listing copy by the broker.  Maybe the agent used to work at Western Union in 1933.  And, then again, maybe the agent is just super lazy.

386 E Duane Ave, Sunnyvale CA 94085
$450,000

image

BEDS: 2
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 982
$/SQ. FT.: $458
LOT SIZE: 5,200 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Attached Single Family
STYLE: Contemporary
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1949
COMMUNITY: Sunnyvale
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81123947
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 3 days

Orig Owner always Hm. UEichler Hm W/ Lots of potential & Great Bones. Orig Parquet Flrs in L/R & D Rm, White Oak in Bdrms. 2 wndos on each side of F/P panelled over. Front Wndos Doubled Paned only, Newer Comp Shingle Roof (1996) w/ 2 Sky Tunnels in Large, Eat-In Kitchen w/ New Laminate Flrs. Covered patio area, auto sprinklers in well cared 4 yards. Quiet side of E. Duane Ave. This is a must SEE 4 the price.

Real Estater didn’t refer us to this listing on Redfin, but on Movoto.  Here’s some of what you get with the Movato site that is completely missing from Redfin: Artistic License.  We’ll bring you those photos and more Movoto Madness after the break.

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Comments (58) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:05 am

May 20, 2011

This parcel use to be a Black Smith in the 1900’s

Here’s a house full of win, first mentioned in comments by Burbed reader Real Estater

418 BRYAN Avenue, Sunnyvale, CA 94086
$529,000

image

BEDS: 2
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 828
$/SQ. FT.: $639
LOT SIZE: 6,000 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Cottage/Bungalow
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1914
COMMUNITY: Sunnyvale
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81110948
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 63 days

VALUE IS IN LAND, but this home was lived in. Zoned R2, approx Lot Size is 6,000. 150 x 40.’Quant, Livable’ 2 bdrm 1 bathroom Home w/ Inside Laurnry Room and mudsill foundation made of Redwood beams with ‘uneven’ Fir Flrs & free standing gas stove. Grunt & shove windows. This parcel use to be a Black Smith in the 1900′s. Tons of history & POTENTIAL! Within walking distance to Downtown Sunnyvale.

imageI sure am relieved to hear this home was lived in.  I can’t tell you how many 97 year old houses I have toured that never had a single inhabitant, especially the parcels that use to be a Black Smith in the 1900’s.

Having lived in Sunnyvale during a few years of the 1900’s, there were former Black Smiths all throughout the neighborhood.  It was an epidemic.  This is the real reason there was a housing bubble in the early 2000s: parcels that use to be Black Smiths.  Now they either call United Parcel Service and move to busy streets, or just sit around and get taxed by busybody PTA Presidents.

imageOMG I didn’t know they still made clotheslines like the TV Antenna/Umbrella combo above, which was very common in the early 1960s. In New Jersey.  That’s just a few bits of the Tons of history and POTENTIAL to be found here, every pound of which you get to pay to have hauled to the dump.

It really is not a good sign when there are no photos of the inside (they said it was Quant, Livable), and when the front of the house is the last photo rather than the first one.

Also check out this angled shot from Google Streetview.  I think we can call this place a Fence Fail.

image

Comments (16) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:05 am

April 4, 2011

Make Me Move, Please, Please, Please Make Me Move

Here’s someone who tried setting a Make Me Move price on Zillow and is now chasing the market down.  Or rather, meandering after the market which is chasing after a bunch of expired tax breaks.

765 DEVONSHIRE Way Sunnyvale, CA 94087
$949,888

image

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 3
SQ. FT.: 1,816
$/SQ. FT.: $523
LOT SIZE: 6,976 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Attached Single Family
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1961
COMMUNITY: Sunnyvale
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81110309
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 21 days

Great Location * Excellent Cupertino schools * Energy efficient * Spacious 4bd/3ba contemporarily remodeled * Bright * Low-VOC paints inside out * EnergyStar IB Roof System * Radiant heating * Double pane windows * Well insulated walls * maple cabinets * granite countertop * Stainless steel appliances * Huge beautiful backyard w/ fruit trees * Open house 3/26, 3/27 (1:30 ~ 4:30)

Stop me if I have this wrong, but isn’t this seller asking for almost a million bucks for a glorified box?  Face it, every child’s drawing of a house has something that this house is lacking in.  Maybe you can look at the listing image above and figure it out.

imageHere, I’ll even give you one more chance.  One of these things is not like the other things.

Anyway, I headed over to Zillow to find out the asking price from 2009, and discovered that there was a Make Me Move price on the house.  And it was $970,000. Now, Make Me Move can be complete utter Wishing Price, as there’s no obligation to sell it just because you entered it into Zillow.

image

Only this seller decided that the Make Me Move Wishing Price was a perfectly good place to start as an actual Asking Price.  We can see just how well that worked.

So after such drastic price cuts as 2% followed by 1%, the seller takes the listing off the market completely… and then it’s back two years later.  It’s back at its first price reduction, which shows the seller really hasn’t learned a danged thing in two years.

Somebody buy this and Make Them Move, because they aren’t going to do it on their own.

Comments (8) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:01 am

March 25, 2011

HAVE HAMMER?

Sometimes I forget Burbed had its roots in overpriced horrid housing.  Today’s listing reminds us of those humble beginnings that have brought us five years of ridiculously expensive crap.  Remember, any neighborhood can have cheaply built housing, but only the Bay Area can boast the most expensive domestic don’ts in the universe.

836 DWIGHT Ave, Sunnyvale, CA 94086
$325,000

image

BEDS: 2
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 822
$/SQ. FT.: $395
LOT SIZE: 4,000 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Ranch
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1944
COMMUNITY: Sunnyvale
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81112615
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 1 day
NEW LISTING (24 HOURS)

HAVE HAMMER? WILL SAVE. Spruce up this 2 bedroom the heart of Sunnyvale, needs TLC. Bonus room in rear and 2nd bath – permits unknown. Convenient to freeways, shopping, services, and public trans. Possible candidate for renovation financing. Clean up is underway. Corp-owned and sold AS-IS; no warranties or inspections provided by seller.

“Needs TLC” is realtardspeak for about to collapse as soon as a toddler breathes on it.  And it’s got permits unknown, your assurance of a good many days in the Sunnyvale Planning Department.  No wonder it’s selling AS-IS.  No inspections provided by seller, so you don’t have to waste your money on your own.  It’s AS-IS, that means, of course it’s got problems, it’s one continuous problem.

Like the “Clean up is underway” comment.  I don’t think they meant vacuuming the carpets:

image

Haven’t we discussed this neighborhood before?  Of course we have, this is the Super Fun place!  So when they talk clean up, let’s just say that if you want concrete countertops there will probably be plenty left over for that.

Comments (14) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:01 am

March 8, 2011

Live in the 408? Maybe Not Anymore

Here is a little news that will have some of you quaking in your boots: You could lose your prestigious 408 area code.  Oh noez!

Santa Clara County’s 408 will spin off a new area code: 669

By Bruce Newman, SJ Mercury News
Posted: 03/07/2011 06:18:25 AM PST ; Updated: 03/07/2011 01:51:36 PM PST

There are 8 million phone numbers in the naked city. And no matter who you were calling in San Jose — or large swaths of the South Bay — for the past half century, you’ve had to dial this: area code 408.

But with the explosive proliferation of cell phones, wireless IP addresses and 4G-enabled baby pacifiers, the area code that has served San Jose since neighbors could listen in on each other’s party line calls is officially "exhausted."

That conclusion — arrived at by the Orwellian-sounding North American Numbering Plan Administration, or NANPA, in December — means some South Bay phone customers will start being assigned area code 669 by the end of next year.

Deciding who gets to hang onto their 408, and who becomes a 669, is the job of the California Public Utilities Commission, which will convene hearings March 16-18 in San Jose, Los Gatos and Morgan Hill to explain the switch.

Brie is 415, Velveeta is 408.  Columnist Herb Caen played the Area Code Game in the SF Chronicle, back in the early 1980s.  That was before all those other area codes bloomed in the little family tree above.  Now I guess Brie is 650, Velveeta is 209, Kraft American is 925, Vegan Gourmet Cheese Alternative is 831, and ten pound blocks of government cheese is 510.  Oh, 415 and 408?  415 is Myzithra.  408 is whatever you put in front of them, it’s not like they’re tasting it while they’re writing iOS device drivers.

The new area code will be arriving by October 2012.  So, who’s going to go to the CPUC meetings to complain about losing their Silicon Valley area code?  There are a couple of proposals, one of them where everyone keeps their numbers and new ones are assigned the 669 code (the overlay), and the other where there is an area code split.

Next up for this kind of torture will be area code 510, forecast to run out of available phone number blocks by 2016.  415 should follow a year later.  And bet you didn’t know this: a new area code should have kicked in ten years ago, but by pooling phone number blocks everyone has been able to keep their area code and their seven digit dialing.

Below is the map of the proposed 408-669 split.  It comes from the CPUC, who obviously don’t care much about geographical features such as city borders, streets, freeways, or rivers.  So good luck figuring out whether this map actually affects you.  Also note how they don’t commit to who gets to keep the coveted 408 identity, but I’ll tell you who: it’s the B People.

image

But don’t get too upset, after meeting with the telephone providers,the CPUC is inclined to go with the overlay plan anyway. And that means instead of turning Los Gatos, Campbell, Saratoga, and San Jose West into 69ers, instead the newbies are going to have that 669 area code.  It also means that you’ll have to dial eleven digits when making phone calls, even to next door, or for that matter to the fax machine in the same room.  Have fun reprogramming just about anything you have that calls phone numbers, and hoping that your alarm company and your cable company and anything else doesn’t forget to switch over to 1-408+number dialing.

And what this means for Burbed readers is that Silicon Valley area code jokes are going to get a lot more raunchy.  Have fun figuring out what kind of cheese they are.

Comments (15) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:15 am