With all three Good Cupertino schools!
You remember the phrase “the value is in the land”? Usually that’s said when calling the house a crapbox is an insult to outdoor toilets everywhere. Let’s just say that today’s land isn’t much to talk about, either. So, where is the value? Because today’s house is a value! Read on to find out if it’s a positive or a negative value.
1586 S Bernardo Ave, Sunnyvale, CA 94087
$929,999
BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,603
$/SQ. FT.: $580
LOT SIZE: 7,956 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Ranch, Contemporary
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1956
COMMUNITY: Sunnyvale
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81100512
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 19 daysCharming home with all three good Cupertino Schools- West Valley, Cupertino Middle, Homestead High. Double Pane windows * Bright Kitchen with Family room * Hardwood Floor * Central Heat and A/C * Spacious living room w/ fireplace, sliding doors to fruit tree large yard * Los Altos border * Must see to appreciate. Compare the price to other homes with all three Good schools!
Does this house have Cupertino schools? It does? Great! Just checking, as the Realtard only mentioned it a few times. Does the house have anything else, in case I might want to consider living in it rather than merely taking advantage of all three Good schools?
Well, it has a kitchen. At least I think this is a kitchen. It’s hard to tell because while it has cabinetry and counter-like fixtures, this room seems decidedly short on luxury kitchen-type appliances. You know, such as, say, an oven or a refrigerator.
It’s got a sink, okay? Plug in a microwave next to it and you can make all the ramen you want. And you don’t need a fridge for PB&J. What’s that? You do? You’re just not being flexible enough. There should be room to keep a small ice chest in one of those cabinets. Store the peanut butter and jelly jars in the cooler. Problem solved.
What? You’re worried about where to get more ice for the cooler? Right here:
See that circled area at the bottom? That’s a Mini-Mart at the gas station. See that school between your future house and the Mini-Mart? That school is the reason this architectural armpit has a wishing price of $930,000. You are not buying this house unless you have at least one child who will attend every one of those Three Good Schools. So make the little brat bring home ten pounds of ice for the cooler every day. It’s the least the ungrateful wretch can do for you after you spent almost a million dollars for public school.
The value of this place is not in the land, as the backyard demonstrates. The value is obviously in The Three Good Schools. And proximity to the Mini-Mart. And so convenient to the freeway and the Los Altos Border! Why, Caltrans has installed a handball court right across the street! So not only will your kids attend The Three Good Schools, you need not waste money on sports leagues or appliances!
You know those other homes with all three Good schools you’re supposed to compare to this one? They not only cost more, the kids living there will have to travel much further to play handball for free. Every time you look at this sound wall handball court (which means whenever you leave this house), you can pretend you’re living in an exclusive, ivied walled compound, just like in Atherton. A very, very large one, because it’s so Full of Win.
You’re probably wondering where the house is in the photo above. No problem, here’s the “cover photo.” I just wanted you to admire all that greenery and wonder how you’d keep it that way if we have another low rainfall year. You could do some “hardscaping” and cover the front lawn with low-maintenance asphalt. It will look a lot like the photo anyway, since this Realtard wouldn’t invest in a wide-angle lens and took the photo from the sidewalk across the street.
