September 13, 2013

Ready for a weekend jaunt? Plenty of head space

Here’s a little bit in the boonies for you to brew in. Or simmer, because it has plenty of SUN. Thanks very much to Burbed reader Tom Paine for today’s capacious cabin in the wilds of Sonoma County.

130911-mission-redfinUndisclosed Address
Camp Meeker, CA 95465
$117,000

1 Beds
1 Baths
648 Sq. Ft.
$181 / Sq. Ft.
Built: —
Lot Size: 7,600 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 8 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Residential, Detached, Single Family
Stories: 1
County: Sonoma
Style: Cottage
Community: Sebastopol
MLS#: 21320135

vintage home in camp meeker off street parking, and, SUN. Bring hammers and contractors and septic pro’s, cause it needs some (a lot) of work. great potential. .did i say off street parking and SUN. .. .. .. .. note lot size. .all sq. ft. via auto fill. . easy to work under house plenty of head space.

130911-mission-kitchenVintage home? How would the agent know? There’s no year given for the structure, although public records say 1938. Which means this house is, um, carry the 3 and… wow, 75 years. Which is five years too young to earn the Burbed “old house” tag!

Fortunately we’ve been provided with an inside look that shows the place is so old, the walls aren’t plumb anymore.

130911-mission-livingIn fact we’re wondering if the interior pictures got mixed up with one of those schoolbus conversions.

Bunus: Undisclosed address? Ha! Burbed loves disclosing them.  It’s 42 Mission Street.  That link goes to Homesnap, which includes a really helpful Google Street View shot.

Bring septic pro’s.  At least it’s easy to work under house.

Comments (3) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:03 am






August 16, 2013

Weekend Retreat Property at Undisclosed Address

And it’s Friday again! Let’s wrap up the workweek with another vacation/weekend/check-out-of-the-rat-race property far from the clogged freeways and three Starbucks per business district. Thanks very much to Burbed reader Tom Paine for sending in this relaxing retreat so private, the realtard doesn’t want you to know where it is.

130815-templeman-redfinUndisclosed Address
Forestville, CA 95436
$630,000

4 Beds
3 Baths
2,500 Sq. Ft.
$252 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1956
Lot Size: 1 Acre
On Redfin: 84 days
Property Type: Residential, Detached, Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Russian River
MLS#: 21311796
Style: Ranch
View: Pasture, Other
County:
Sonoma

Great area! 1 acre parcel, Extensive work has been performed in upgrading this ranch style country home which includes Chinese oak flooring in living room & formal dining area, paver tile floors in kitchen & main bath, radiant heat, jetted tub, game room, separated extended living areas at rear of home(great for in-laws, caregivers, guests, etc. ) attached shop & garage, circular drive, outbuildings, metal roof and room for everyone & everything

130815-templeman-hottub-guestOh heck, we’ll disclose it: 8426 Templeman Road.  And what’s with this Chinese Oak flooring? Is that anything like Chinese drywall? Similarly, pavers in the kitchen? Is this a thing, like metal roofs?

Now let’s hear from Tom.

What could be more charming than a picture of a sleeping pig next to the hot tub? You need never bathe alone…

This is a Russian River resort (if by Russian River resort, we actually mean a place that’s more than 2 miles from the closest approach of the Russian River). Just wait for the river to crest and you need never skip bathing.  And by “you” we mean both you and the pig.

Comments (1) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:10 am

July 17, 2013

Hate wide open spaces and the such?

Today’s featured freehold is brought to you by Burbed reader Bluto. It may not be in the Real Bay Area but it’s Real Affordable! Let’s find out why.

130716-temple-redfin1115 Temple Ave
Santa Rosa, CA 95404
$165,000

1 Beds
1 Baths
288 Sq. Ft.
$573 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1925
Lot Size: 1,799 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 3 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Residential, Detached, Single Family
Stories: 1
County: Sonoma
Style: Cottage
Community: Southeast Santa Rosa
MLS#: 21315963

As the saying goes Don’t judge a book by the cover. This is a very cute cottage that appears to be in good condition. Perfect for the person who is on the go and doesn’t have a lot of time for yard work and the such. Feels like there is more room in the house than what the square footage reflects!

130716-temple-streetviewOther than knowing Santa Rosa is not, was not, and never will be part of the RBA, let’s turn to Bluto for a little more insight on this listing. And enjoy the Streetview on the left, because the agent thinks one picture is sufficient for a house that fells like there is more room than it has room.

way up in Santa Rosa…the "home" is 288 sq. ft, the "lot" is 1800 sq. ft., the price $165K…and this neighborhood is NOT good

But this house is ALL good, if by good we actually mean NOT good.  Then again, don’t judge a book by the cover. Although in the case of this house, cover is all you’re going to get.

Comments (9) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:06 am

July 10, 2013

Nothing wrong with this listing that price cannot fix

There is nothing wrong with ANY listing that price cannot fix.  Remember that next time you find a place full of Burbed win and wonder just how the seller will unload it. Let’s take a look at a property that’s been on the market for so long, when it was listed Bush was still President.

Thanks very much to Burbed reader Tom Paine for this one.

130709-redwood-redfin6500 Old Redwood Hwy
Windsor, CA 95492
$400,000

— Beds
— Baths
— Sq. Ft.
Built: —
Lot Size: 1.88 Acres
On Redfin: 2,612 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Lots & Land, Single Family
Community: Windsor
MLS#: 20617574
View: Pasture
County: Sonoma

1.884 Acres of Development Potential. 2 LOTS Zoned Surrounding Residential. Reduced ! Owner Financing available with 25% down

Let’s check in with Major Tom:

130709-redwood-buildingsStarted at $860.5K ! And it comes with a teardown ( there’s a fee for that). Check out home prices in Windsor….

Okay, let’s check out home prices in Windsor.  There’s only two for sale, and they’re both right around this price. For the same money you can get a livable house on not that much land (5-6000 sf). Obviously nobody cares about the house and everyone cares about having lots and lots of space. You can always drag a teardown over from the neighbor’s lot.

But seriously, 2,612 days on Redfin? Which brings us to the next question, we know Redfin is seven years old, because so is Burbed.  So, do there exist listings that have been on the market longer than Redfin has been around?

Click here to post a comment -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:04 am

March 3, 2013

How do you REALLY feel about Real Estate Professionals?

It’s been a while since we had a realtards thread.  But today’s Not So Professional Agent isn’t being given the Burbed Loving Hug of Attention for his brilliant listing copy.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader J from Alameda for alerting us to this story.

130302-hitnrun-sceneSonoma Co. real estate agent held in fatal hit-run

Henry K. Lee, San Francisco Chronicle | Updated 7:52 am, Saturday, March 2, 2013

Photo from KTVU, no credit specified

(03-02) 07:49 PST SANTA ROSA — A Santa Rosa man turned himself in Friday in connection with a fatal hit-and-run crash that killed a pedestrian, police said.

Steven Harry Heath, 60, was arrested on suspicion of vehicular manslaughter and felony hit-and-run in the crash Wednesday that killed 64-year-old George Michael Black of Pacifica, Santa Rosa police said.

Black was walking on the 4600 block of Montgomery Drive shortly after 1 p.m. Wednesday when he was hit by a car that fled the scene, police said. Black died at the scene.

On Friday, a Santa Rosa law firm contacted police on behalf of Heath, who works as a real estate agent. Heath’s attorney told officers that the vehicle from the crash would be found at Heath’s home, authorities said.

130302-hitnrun-heathLet’s review.  Real estate “professional” in a Mercedes S550 hits a pedestrian in broad daylight, and flees the scene. Unlucky stroller who had traveled to Santa Rosa to attend a healing program is pronounced dead seven minutes later#1 Agent in Sonoma the last 3 years running then requests his lawyer contact police two entire days later to say they’ll find what they’re looking for at the hit-and-run driver’s house. Why two whole days? We’re going to make an educated guess that it was long enough for all possible alcohol in someone’s bloodstream to dissipate.

130302-hitnrun-pepperwoodPerhaps you think we’re being cynical.  Well, the readership of sfgate.com is far more so, as several commenters hypothesized that Heath had his attorney transfer his assets to the law firm. We think that’s nonsensical speculation, and that he asked the law firm to transfer his wealth to some deserving relative outside the United States.  Heath, we note, is British and probably has relatives in non-US locales.

Here is just one of those assets: his house on 5562 Pepperwood Road. None of the real estate portals have any specific information on the house other than the lot size (11,246 sf) because they aren’t in the public recorder’s office search results either (yes, we checked).

We are now opening the floor to discuss whatever you’d like about those wonderful real estate professionals in your life, or about anyone who would leave the scene and lawyer up when the right thing to do was fucking call 911 because you just ran your fucking 6,000 pound vehicle into some innocent party’s 175 pound body.  We usually don’t pick on realtards by name, but we’re going to make a giant-ass exception in this case because.

Oh yeah, and this is an Open Thread. It’s March! Time for some Spring Bounce! Let us know how many Mercedes S-class vehicles you see parked at Open Houses!

Comments (12) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:14 am

January 25, 2013

What the Hecking Heall in Healdsburg

It’s time for the weekend, so let’s end the workweek with one more whomp of Housing Win.  Burbed reader Tom Paine has a serious case of Whisky Tango Foxtrot for you to Foxtrot off with.

130124-big-redfin2150 big ridge Rd
Healdsburg, CA 95448
$925,000

0 Beds
1 Baths
— Sq. Ft.
Built: —
Lot Size: 80 Acres
On Redfin: 472 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Residential, Detached, Single Family
Stories: 1
County: Sonoma
Style: Other
Community: Healdsburg
MLS#: 21126715

NET ZERO – OFF THE GRID This 80 acres of pristine land with the ultimate view across Dry Creek Valley. This stunning virgin land awaits for the building of your ideal home with several buildling sites. A unique 1200 sq ft living structure with a 680 sq ft bedroom / mezanne.

When he sent this in, Tom observed:

It has a Mezanne! wHiCH Is LikE, waaaAY COOL!

Too bad it doesn’t have a bedroom.  Are we supposed to sleep on one of the buildling sites instead?  The mezanne doesn’t look comfortable.

130124-big-curvy130124-big-living130124-big-breadbox130124-big-trees

You can’t fool us.  This house is actually a giant-ass aluminum toaster.  Too bad it’s off the grid.

Comments (6) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:05 am

January 4, 2013

Most Special Trees Ever. Plus a house, maybe.

It’s Friday!  Time to start planning your weekend adventure, and Burbed reader Tom Paine gives us a getaway pad in Guerneville!  Thanks very much for this hair-raising habitat!

130103-hwy116-mcguire-cache11175 HWY 116 DR
GUERNEVILLE, CA 95446
$349,950 Price Change

2 Bed 
1 Bath 
1,480 SqFt 
Single Family Home
MLS# 21226926 
Active
Original Price:  $399,950
Price Change: 12.50%
Listing Type:  Residential
Style: Cabin
County: Sonoma
Bedrooms: 2
Total Baths: 1
Full Baths: 1
Garage: 2 spaces
Year Built: 1921
Listed: 12/04/12
Location
County: Sonoma
City: Guerneville
Cross Street: Mays Canyon Rd

Description
Custom cabin in the woods, 4.2 acres, two bedroom, one bath, big basement, year round spring, surrounded by fur and redwood trees, three fireplaces.

130103-hwy116-listingThis property, alas, is no longer for sale and went Pending/Do Not Show a couple weeks ago.  But this was really because everyone had to see those fur trees and now they’re endangered. That also must explain why they dare not include a photo, and in that case our link is to a cached search result because we weren’t finding this fox anywhere.  They also don’t show the house because the walls must be mink-lined.

Fortunately, we found this actual listing photo under a rock or in someone’s raccoon trenchcoat or it fell off a truck or something.  Don’t ask how we get results, just enjoy them.  And imagine year round spring and the cuddliest trees ever. 

And for your Web 3.0 business out in the woods?  We’re thinking chinch ranch.  (It’s at 9:20)

Comments (3) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:06 am

December 3, 2012

Let’s Return to our Holiday Shopping — in Sonoma County!

121122-blackfridaySo here’s the DEAL, the DEALS, yes we still have DEALS for you. Black Friday Deals are back!

We’re scouring the Bay Area for the cheapest houses out there! Today we’re taking a good look at Sonoma County, to find the absolutely, positively cheapest, least expensive, smallest asking price house for sale.

 

121202-first-redfin71 1st St
Camp Meeker, CA 95419
$100,000

2 Beds
2 Baths
1,040 Sq. Ft.
$96 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1920
Lot Size: 1,307 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 13 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Residential, Detached, Single Family
Community: Sebastopol
MLS#: 21226308
Stories: 1
County: Sonoma

2 bed 2 bath house

The good news: This house is barely sporting a six-digit pricetag!  Plus the agent took more than one photo!

121202-first-kitchenThe bad news: Is that moss growing on the roof?

The interior photography is intriguing.  It appears this agent is doing whatever is possible to not include a single square inch of the floor in any shot, which means most of them tend to show ceiling.

Lots and lots of ceiling.  This view of the kitchen only shows a little, but for this vintage stove, plus the solo wall-mount cabinet unit, along with the distressed treatment of the door, we could not resist.

And you could not resist this price. Sure, the house has a FAR of 0.796, but what do you want for just one homeowner spending unit?

Comments (3) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:09 am

November 15, 2012

Serious defects include well contamination

We’ve been spending too much time in Santa Clara County, which means we’re forgetting about the other eight counties in the Bay Area.  So let’s head north for today’s front-page feature.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Tom Paine for this deep subject.

121114-gravenstein-sawbuck4291 Gravenstein Highway S
Sebastopol, CA 95472

Listed for $535,800 on 2/1/12
Several price cuts, to $315K on 10/19
Sold for $310,000 on 11/8/12

BANK OWNED
1 Story Detached
3 bedrooms
2 bathrooms
2,535 sq ft
3.45 acres
13 years old
15 Photos
Style: Ranch
Lot Size: 3.45 ac
Mortgage Payment: $1,114/mo
Taxes —
Year Built: 1999
Subdivision: Sebastopol
Stories: 1
MLS #21202510
WalkScore™:18

Nice piece of property on 3.4 acres. Cash only buyers. No financing. Serious defects include well contamination, rotted foundation and extensive wood rot.

121114-gravenstein-fireplaceHere’s why Tom thought this nowhere-near-the-Real Bay Area estate deserved to be all tarted up on Burbed:

Think of enjoying the beautiful views in the morning, sipping that cup of extra flavorful coffee and smelling the sweet scent of rot. And you get that special REO deed that doesn’t guarantee title as a bonus!

Can’t imagine why this didn’t sell faster.  Nothing is more authentically Marin than extensive wood rot.  But you get all this prestige at a Sonoma County price (complete with a Sonoma County address)!

This is also one of those listings we had to play Where’s Waldo with, because it didn’t show up on Redfin or several others.  Plus it had different listing copy with fewer but blurrier photos on Zillow:

121114-gravenstein-zillow4291 Gravenstein Hwy S
Sebastopol, CA 95472
Not for Sale

Zestimate $392,863
Rent Zestimate $2,458/mo
Est. Mortgage $1,371/mo

Beds: 3
Baths: 2
Sqft: 2,535
Lot: 150,282 sq ft / 3.45 acres
Type: Single Family
Year built: 1999
Fireplace: Yes
County: Sonoma
Legal description: MAP D5 151
Parcel #: 062240030
Per floor sqft: 2,535
Total rooms: 7
121114-gravenstein-bathroom# Stories: 1.0
Unit cnt: 1
Zillow Home ID: 15806148

Excellent country estate on over 3.4 acres. Home features tile entry, large living area with fireplace & fish tank, granite counter tops & island in kitchen, oversized master bedroom w/sitting area. Outside kitchen with built-in BBQ. Fantastic views of pastures, hills and seasonal creek. Pre qual with BOFA required on all offers. Cash buyers are subject to Deed restriction.

Bunus: Check out the listing history!

121114-gravenstein-listing-history

Comments (5) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:01 am

October 8, 2012

Do not miss this

And if we’re showing such waaaaaay out of the RBAaaaaaa listings again, that must mean we’ve heard from Burbed reader Tom Paine!  Thanks very much for sending in these properties that are of zero interest to anyone working at Google.

121007-mcfarlane-redfin5636 Mcfarlane Rd
Sebastopol, CA 95472
$395,000

2 Beds
2 Baths
1,232 Sq. Ft.
$321 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1947
Lot Size: 2.72 Acres
On Redfin: 9 days
Property Type: Residential, Detached, Single Family
Stories: 1
County: Sonoma
Style: Ranch
Community: Sebastopol
MLS#: 21222490

Contractor Fixer on close to 3 acres at the end of a private lane. 2 bedroom , 2 Bath, 1300 sq ft home on Sunny, level, gorgeous park like setting that includes fruit trees, mature oaks and a lovely pond. Nice Large clean 2 car Garage that can also be used as a workshop, additional outbuildings and plenty of room for gardening complete this private serene location. Septic and well reports on file. New 1/2 HP submersible pump. Do not miss this.

121007-mcfarlane-pondHere’s what Tom had to say about this yallar thang.

The Lovely Pond…

Is on the neighbors property.There’s a mudhole on this one. Carpets smell like something wild peed on them, the ceilings are 6’6″ and if there is any part of this house that was ever up to code it’s the rain gutters. It’s actually a nice 2 acres and change, but the house is a teardown.

Plenty more to check out in the pictures.  Lots and lots of pictures.  And not a single one of them inside.

121007-mcfarlane-coop121007-mcfarlane-house

 

Comments (11) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:10 am