We move on with the Blogging from A to Z Challenge, and today’s a Premier Prospect! Pronto, Propose a Principality where the Population is Pushy, Pretentious, and Proud? Did someone say Palo Alto? Perhaps Piedmont? Possible, but we’ll Put them aside. 

Today’s Property is in Portola Valley!  Profound thanks to Burbed reader laurenatuw.

187 DEGAS Rd
Portola Valley, CA 94028
$3,150,000

5 Beds
3.5 Baths
3,600 Sq. Ft.
$875 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1962
Lot Size: 2.56 Acres
On Redfin: 6 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 2
Community: Central Portola Valley
MLS#: 81311884
Style: Colonial

AWESOME OPPORTUNITY IN WESTRIDGE, THIS HOME IS A WELL LOVED ORIGINAL JEWEL. FIRST TIME ON THE MARKET HOME BOAST HAND CRAFTED, BEAUTIFUL FINISHED INTERIOR LIVING AREAS. HAND CRAFTED WOODWORK AND HARDWOOD FLOORS THROUGHOUT METICULOUSLY CARED FOR AND STAND OUT IN THIS COMFORTABLE 5 BDRM, 3.5 BATH FAMILY HOME. SITUATED ON 2.5+ ACRES OF SCULPTED AND NATURAL LANDSCAPE, THE PROPERTY IS PRIVATE YET CONVENIENT

Let’s Pester laurenatuw for a Precis:

hand crafted interior not worth picturing

interesting new listing in Portola valley……. the town is so distracted by the housing bubble that pics of inside the house are now considered optional, even with a 3.15mill asking price.

guess you’ll just have to take the realtard’s word for it when they say (in all caps) "HAND CRAFTED, BEAUTIFUL FINISHED INTERIOR"…….

This Property is so Private that the agent Provided 14, Poll ‘em, 14 Pictures and every single Photo Portrays another Piece of the Peripheral Premises.

We’ll keep today’s Opening On the Outside, Only the Opposite.  Yes, it’s O day in the Blogging from A to Z Challenge, which means we Only do the letters in the Official Order.  On this day we Open Our ears, eyes and Other Orifices in the direction of Oakland. And we’ll keep this One sweet, as it’s selling shortly.

Or rather, it’s Opening On an Oversized Optimization for the Ordained Owner.

9437 PEACH St
Oakland, CA 94603
$69,500

3 Beds
1 Baths
1,080 Sq. Ft.
$64 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1985
Lot Size: —
On Redfin: 198 days
Type: Condominium
Stories: 1
Community: Oakland
MLS#": 40591208
Style: Ranch
View: Other
County: Alameda

Nice Three bedroom condo with a 1 car garage.

Didn’t they mean this One the Other way ‘round?  Looks like a nice One bedroom condo with a 3 car garage.  Only somebody Omitted the condo part.

If you Object that there’s no pictures of the condo at all (not even the Outside), we Offer the streetview and Orbital scape.  (As always, you have the Option click to Open a bigger One.)

We’ve Nosed past the first half of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge, and Now we’re on to the New ones. Let’s celebrate with the kind of property Burbed was always Noted for.  Today’s featured property in Newark Needs work.

7419 WELLS Ave
Newark, CA 94560
$299,000

2 Beds
1 Baths
660 Sq. Ft.
$453 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1895
Lot Size: 6,250 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 7 days
Type: Detached
Stories: 1
County: Alameda
Style: Traditional
Community: Newark
MLS#: 40609921

Remodeled 2 yrs ago. Newer copper plumbing and sewer line, newer doors, paint and laminate floors throughout, newer bathroom and most windows are newer. Garage conversion to a studio is being used as rental, Maybe illegal! No knowledge of permits. AS IS Sale only! Only showing 4/13 and 4/14 11-2pm

This is so exciting! Maybe illegal! Or immoral, or fattening. With No Notion of permits, Nothing’s impossible. So Not only is this Nice home available for Not a lot of money, it’s also Notorious!

Today we’re Making the last post of the first half of this Blogging from A to Z Challenge. Today’s letter: M for Mountain View. Of course Mountain View, what other city has best Manifested Bay Area Bubble 4.0? Sure, Palo Alto can show insane prices and we can find people camped out for days to buy a condo in the East Bay.  But Mountain View has More. More Multiple offers. More Maximum overbids. More Million dollar crapshacks.

And Most of all, More close to Google.  Thanks very Much to Burbed reader LomaLuvr for this Masterpiece.

1112 BORANDA Ave
Mountain View, CA 94040
$13,000,000

16 Beds
12 Baths
25,353 Sq. Ft.
$513 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2008
Lot Size: 0.73 Acres
On Redfin: 24 days
Stories: 2
Community: Miramonte
MLS#: 81308939

Great opportunity to own a condo mapped project . Currently run as an apartment complex. Units may be sold individually. Quality built in 2008. Great location with walking distance to Bubb elementary, downtown MV. Each high end unit is 4/3, 2100 sq ft, 2 parking spaces plus storage room, private patio and yard. Luxurious master suite with walk in closet, inside laundry. Access controlled building.

Can’t Make an onsite visit? There’s a virtual tour where all you need is to Move your Mouse. Also that’s where we learned there are 12 units in the “community.”

We chose this because it’s a Mystery. Is it 4 units for sale in a 12 unit Maze? Who gets to Maintain the controlling interest in the other 8?  How Much will you have to Milk the Planning Commission to Metamorphosize these Maisonettes into condos? Who owns the rest of the Multiple-Family Complex? How Much is too Much to Mooch for HOA?

So Many Matters to Mull over.

Reminder: It’s tax deadline today. Don’t Mistakenly Meander with the Mail.

Redfin’s got a new blog post out that says just because housing prices are going up, that doesn’t mean we’re in a bubble.

Unless, of course, you live in the Bay Area. While they call some markets “mini-bubbles,” we don’t see anything diminished about the “frenzy” they admit seeing in the San Francisco-Oakland-Fremont metro.  You know, 40-60 offers per listing, suitcases full of cash, that sort of thing.

There’s no mention of the San Jose-Sunnyvale-Santa Clara market, no doubt because the idjits who put together Case-Shiller listings didn’t look at which ones were missing and why. By breaking the Bay Area into smaller MSAs, they spun Santa Clara County off from SF/Marin/Alamenda/Contra Costa/San Mateo, resulting in Silicon Valley no longer being in a Top 30 metro.  We’re sorry, but that’s an incredibly dumbass decision.  Does anyone really think that more San Mateo County 16 million working people work in SF than Santa Clara County?

This is an Open Thread. Why do you think San Jose isn’t in Case-Shiller, other than their terror of our always being #1 every month?

Updated on 4/20: This is the 3000th post to appear on Burbed!

Happy Saturday and weekend! We’re one Letter Less than halfway through the Blogging from A to Z Challenge. Remember blog Life before this Lunacy when a Lousy Los Gatos Lanai would Light up the comment thread? Yeah, we don’t either.

So we’ll play what’s Laid, and that’s this Lulu of a Listing in Los Altos with a Likely Large Lot.

757 N SAN ANTONIO Rd
Los Altos, CA 94022
$1,199,000

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,330 Sq. Ft.
$902 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1952
Lot Size: 9,270 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 23 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
County: Santa Clara
Style: Ranch
Community: North Los Altos
MLS#: 81308943

Charming and welcoming Los Altos ranch home. Freshly painted inside and outside. Multiple recent upgrades: kitchen, roof, garage door, double pane windows, floors, etc. Award winning Los Altos Schools. Close to schools, shopping and restaurants.

Upcoming Open Houses

Saturday, Apr 13: 1:00-5:00 pm
Sunday, Apr 14: 1:00-5:00 pm

Look, Listing Lusciousness is all Location, Location, Location. And this Location says it’s close to schools, shopping, and restaurants. Let’s Learn how Close.  Across the (very busy) street is Bullis Charter School, already Lovingly Lauded on this website! (And you know when we Lovingly Laud something, that means the exact opposite of Lovingly Laud.)

Like the Landscaping? This Low-maintenance approach not only saves time, money, and Liquids, you’ll never have to Lift a Limb watering the front Lawn. (That’s because it Lacks one.)

Lug yourself north and you’ll find the restaurants.  Lots of them. Actually you have Little choice about Leaning north; the Lean-to is on the northbound side of a divided four-Lane thoroughfare.

Other than that, why hasn’t this Locale sold in 23 days, in this Lava-hot market? The Listing agent already Lowered the price at Least 14%!

Let us know if you Look in at the Open House this weekend!

Our typical pattern for daily articles is to feature a house on weekdays, and anything real-estate related runs on weekends. One of our most well-received weekend articles was a long-form post about Orchard Park. Orchard Park was a 700-home development built after World War II on the San Jose-Santa Clara border. One of our regulars (thanks, Burbed reader Swan!) sent in an original brochure for Orchard Park homes, and it was Kaptivating.  (Terms as low as $59.50 a month!)

Today, as we continue the Blogging from A to Z Challenge, K is for Kaiser.  As in Henry J. Kaiser (1882-1967), the shipbuilder, founder of the HMO originally created for his employees, and, oh yeah, real estate developer.  The Kaiser as in Kaiser Community Homes, in Los Angeles, Portland Oregon, and San Jose/Santa Clara, who brought you Orchard Park.  Here’s a photo from 1947 of the development.

Today we have a Kaiser Kastle for your Kuriosity.

1994 HEATHERDALE Ave
San Jose, CA 95126
$598,000

2 Beds
1 Baths
924 Sq. Ft.
$647 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1946
Lot Size: 5,184 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 13 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Community: Central San Jose
MLS#: 81309942
Stories: 1
County: Santa Clara

BEAUTIFUL HOME IN A GREAT LOCATION. BIG DRIVEWAY WITH LOTS OF PARKING AREA. VERY WELL KEPT UP. DOUBLE PANE WINDOWS. DRIVEWAY, GARAGE FLOOR, PAINT, ROOF AND JUTTERS, AND SPRINKLERS ARE LESS THAN 8 YEARS OLD. CLOSE TO SCU. POSSIBLY COULD BE USED AS A BUSINESS/OFFICE BUYERS TO CHECK AND VERAFIY WITH CITY FOR USAGE PERMIT. CALL LISTING AGENT RUSS VIERRA FOR SHOWINGS. PLEASE DO NOT DISTURB RENTER.

Yes, do NOT disturb the renter who probably has no idea that the Seller is Licensed Real Estate Agent, Agent Related to Seller, and oh yes is about to sell his or her home Kallously out from underneath.  That’s because you could POSSIBLY use this as a BUSINESS/OFFICE BUYERS. 

And here’s another view of the Keep with BIG DRIVEWAY WITH LOTS OF PARKING AREA.

Lots of street area to play Keep Away in as well.  Remember those JUTTERS are less than 8 YEARS OLD.  CHECK AND VERAFIY WITH CITY.

Yes, we’re still in the Blogging from A to Z Challenge, and the Juicy Joint de Jour is right here in the wanna-be capital of Silicon Valley: San Jose!  Poor San Jose.  This city and its metro Just can’t catch a break. San Jose is bigger than San Francisco, but nobody loves it.  Even when Journalists mention Silicon Valley they’re usually talking about Palo Alto and Mountain View.  San Jose has been Jolted by spending problems, while the local Journal hasn’t heard anything from the mayor it wouldn’t Join.

So are you Jazzed?

4140 CADWALLADER Ave
San Jose, CA 95121
$1,100,000

3 Beds
3.5 Baths
2,525 Sq. Ft.
$436 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1915
Lot Size: 1.51 Acres
On Redfin: 117 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Evergreen
MLS#: 81243242
Style: Ranch
View: Mountains, Valley, City Lights
County: Santa Clara

Very private and quiet 1.5 acres with panoramic view! Surrounded by upscale new homes, existing 3BD 3.5BA farm house with pool has great potential for future vineyard estates with TLC. Enjoy Fig, Apricot, Prune and Cherry trees and huge garden. Rural residential zone. Livestock, horse allowed. Minutes to Evergreen Village Square, Community Center, Library, College, Reid Hill Airport.

Looks like another round of “never mind the house, look at all this land!” in the photoset. And there’s enough for you to plan your next startup Web-enabled Social Media Just-in-time Agile Japanese Lean 6.0 App, be a Job Creator, plus room to set up housing for any workers who can’t afford to live further north!

Ja, you could be the next Steve Jobs! And if your venture doesn’t succeed, how about Jumping into a Juvenile Jail franchise?  If that doesn’t Jibe, there’s always land! Just plant Jicama and Jalapenos to stay out of Jeopardy!  For great Justice!

Also, if horse allowed, so is Jackass.

As we move Into the second week of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge, we note that some letters are Indeed more Inconsiderable than others. We Imagined X to Induce Irritation. But what’s a good I for a Bay Area place name? There’s the Irvington district of Fremont, but we’ve been showing Fremont waaaaaay too much Burbed love lately.

Fortunately, an Inch further north Inducts more I’s without Invading Sonoma County. Yes, I is for Inverness.  And a few other Items. 

12641 Sir Francis Drake Blvd
Inverness, CA 94937
$519,750

4 Beds
3 Baths
1,939 Sq. Ft.
$268 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1977
Lot Size: 3.13 Acres
On Redfin: 1 day
Property Type: Residential, Detached, Single Family
Stories: 2
Community: Inverness
MLS#: 21307625
Style: Contemporary
View: Bay, Hills
County: Marin

Bank Owned Bargain! Classic views of Tomales Bay and the countryside beyond from this two level home with three beds and two baths upstairs, and one bed, bath and living room downstairs with separate entrance. Don’t miss the loft storage areas too! Nestled on over three acres, this home needs a little TLC to be a perfect retreat, ideally located near the Point Reyes National Seashore. Don’t miss out on this wonderful opportunity!

Ideally located! But when the front Image Is of anything other than the Indicated Inhabitance, there’s a reason for the Inhibition. And speaking of the Impossible to Itemize letter X, just look what’s In the sky In both these Images.

Do you need more Impetus to buy this house Immediately? The Zestimate is $962K, while eppraisal comes In at an Illustrious $1.15 million!

Inquire now and Indulge In the Instant equity for Infinity!

Just because we’re doing the Blogging from A to Z Challenge doesn’t mean we Have to Hold off our Hallowed Habits. One of them is that we welcome contributions from our readers. Heck, we Harangue our readers if they don’t play along. So, today we are Heaving up another letter of the alphabet, and Having a different poster Handle it.

We Hope you enjoy today’s Happening post from Burbed reader bublidoo!  Please give bublidoo a Healthy, Hot Real Bay Area Homecoming with today’s Holy $#*@! House.

1161 Highland Ter
Fremont, CA 94539
$5,493,000

6 Beds
9.5 Baths
9,967 Sq. Ft.
$551 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2009
Lot Size: 1.64 Acres
On Redfin: 79 days
Type: Detached
Stories 2
Community: Mission
MLS#: 40601026
Style: Custom
View: Bay, City Lights, Hills, Panoramic, Pasture, Ridge, San Francisco, Water
County: Alameda

Panoramic View, Custom Home, Like Living in Taj Mahal, Elevator, 6 Bedrooms-9.5 Bathrooms, Banquet Hall w/ Stage-Seat over 100, All Bedrooms have Full Bathrooms, $150,000 /Crystal Lights and Chandeliers, Stainless Steel Garage & Exterior Doors, Credit Available for Personalizing Your Finishing Touch.

Let’s Hear from bublidoo Her/Himself!

Figured eventually you’ll get to H.

This has got to be the butt-ugliest way to spend nearly 5.5 Million bucks. HDR [check] Cawlumns [check]. Granite on the wall [check]. More bathrooms than bedrooms [check] "Living like in Taj Mahal" [check]. Yeah, that’s right … sooooo much bling it makes a baroque castle look sparse.

But the HDR … OMG, the HDR! The first pic … OMG, seriously, I thought it’s so synthetic looking it must be from a first person shooter or something. This has gotta be the highest DR evar.

More pictures Here, because you gotta Have some kawlums!