It finally happened.  One of our long-time regular readers (and we’re not going to Say which one) finally couldn’t take the Sadistic water torture of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge anymore, and wrote in to Snap about it.  But think about what it is we do here on this Site. We do things that make people Surly. So Sure, we got Someone Snippy about one of our Subjects? (Admittedly, one of our Subjects Strung out over even more time than the @*$(*$)*#(@!~ zip code lists.)  So Sorry about that.

Seems we’d Surely Show Some Superb Stuff after Seeing our Supporters in a Snit!  Say… Thanks very much to Burbed reader Michael Boltonestater for Sending this Speck of Sod in.

88 Townsend St
Unit P-124
San Francisco, CA 94107
$80,000

0 Beds
— Baths
— Sq. Ft.
Built: —
Lot Size: —
On Redfin: 17 days
Property Type: Condominium
County: San Francisco
Community: South Beach
MLS#: 406606

The property for sale is an independant side-by-side parking space within the 88 Townsend building. It can be rented out to potentail tenants that don’t live in the 88 Townsend building.

Now we really have Seen everything.  Condo parking Spaces, Side by Side yet. Complete with the Superness of tenants from other buildings. Sign us up! 

Sh—! Pending!

We’ll keep today’s Opening On the Outside, Only the Opposite.  Yes, it’s O day in the Blogging from A to Z Challenge, which means we Only do the letters in the Official Order.  On this day we Open Our ears, eyes and Other Orifices in the direction of Oakland. And we’ll keep this One sweet, as it’s selling shortly.

Or rather, it’s Opening On an Oversized Optimization for the Ordained Owner.

9437 PEACH St
Oakland, CA 94603
$69,500

3 Beds
1 Baths
1,080 Sq. Ft.
$64 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1985
Lot Size: —
On Redfin: 198 days
Type: Condominium
Stories: 1
Community: Oakland
MLS#": 40591208
Style: Ranch
View: Other
County: Alameda

Nice Three bedroom condo with a 1 car garage.

Didn’t they mean this One the Other way ‘round?  Looks like a nice One bedroom condo with a 3 car garage.  Only somebody Omitted the condo part.

If you Object that there’s no pictures of the condo at all (not even the Outside), we Offer the streetview and Orbital scape.  (As always, you have the Option click to Open a bigger One.)

Our post-Christmas closeouts continue!  Today we’re heading up the hill to Santa Cruz County to show that you, yes YOU!! Can!! Afford!! To buy a house!! Thanks very much to Burbed reader wahnny for sending us this bodacious Boulder Creek craptacular.

273 W HILTON Dr
San Lorenzo Valley, CA 95006
$49,900

3 Beds 
2 Baths 
1,400 Sq. Ft.
$36 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1965 
Lot Size: 0.32 Acres 
On Redfin: 21 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Community: Boulder Creek
MLS#: 81242647
Stories: 2
County: Santa Cruz

Property damaged by 2006 slide on Boulder Creek golf course. Engineering reports and county reports on file. Drive by only. DO NOT ENTER PROPERTY. CASH OFFER ONLY.

Here’s what wahnny said about this resort location:

Although the photos and listing appear to match the reality of the area (made worse with recent rains), the dreaming still continues.

You’ll be having pleasant dreams in this Golf Course abode!  They’ll be so amazing that’s why you’re only allowed to drive by. 

Nobody’s allowed to enter the property until you’ve paid your cash offer.  If that isn’t proof that The Bubbles Are Back, we don’t know what is.

We’re sure you can clean up that 2006 slide on Boulder Creek golf course, if you can find where the engineering and county reports are “on file.”

This is our last CHEAPEST HOUSE IN THE WHOLE COUNTY OMFG entry.  With Solano County’s turn, we’ve run out of Bay Area counties to feature in our Black Friday Deals Deals DEALS, which of course will run right up until Christmas Day.  Future deals will find you the best value in select Bay Area cities (and by “select” we actually mean whatever we want that to mean, optimizing for maximum pointing and laughing).

1328 Adams St
Fairfield, CA 94533
$30,000

3 Beds 
1 Baths 
1,277 Sq. Ft.
$23 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1954 
Lot Size: 5,227 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 17 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Residential, Detached, Single Family
Stories: 1
County: Solano
Style: Ranch
Community: Fairfield
MLS#: 21226257

Home sold for land value only. Home has suffered extreme fire damage and is unsafe in current condition. No entry is allowed under any circumstances.

Maybe you could pick this one up for Chanukah tonight? It will cost less than many new cars, and remember, they’re not making any more land! With prices like these, even the furthest reaches of the Bay Area are hot, hot, HOT! (Disclaimer: Property currently at ambient temperature.)

There’s instant equity galore, as this house sold for $112,000 in (hold on to your jellybean bag) 1990.  This is not only a fire sale, but a foreclosure too.  Here’s what it looked like back in 2009.

There’s something about the feng shui of this house that led to fire prevailing against the overdone water element.

And a quick glance around the neighborhood in 2009 shows it was reasonably well-kept, but there’s an unusually high pickup truck to automobile ratio.  But on the bright side, it has a Walk Score of 72.

You thought we forgot about our Black Friday Deals Deals DEALS? Of course not!  We’ll be throwing in our rock-bottom sale items whenever the mood strikes us, and right now, the mood slapped us silly while saying, “Hey, how about you find another Cheapest In The Whole County” item?  We’ve only got two counties in the Bay Area left, so today we’re headed up to the Whine Country!

Warning: This is definitely not The Real Bay Area.

205 LARIAT St
CA 94567
$89,900

3 Beds 
2.5 Baths 
2,504 Sq. Ft.
$36 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1993 
Lot Size: 0.74 Acres 
On Redfin: 181 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Residential, Single Family
View: Canyon, Hills, Mountain, Valley
MLS#: Lc12071394
Style: Two Level
County: Napa

Far from the maddening crowds. .. your own private sanctuary located in Berryessa Estates! This home features parquet flooring in the dining area and living room. The living room has a fireplace with bench seating, two decks on either side while offering open access to the dining area right off the kitchen. The Master is located on the main floor and also offers access to one of the two decks. Master bath features jetted tub to chase the cares of the day away. Downstairs is an oasis with a large family room with pellet stove and 2 additional bedrooms, bath, laundry room and the patio. Decks overlook the valley, what a great way to unwind! True there is work to be done but if you’re seeking seclusion, put this property on your list and take advantage of this great price reduction!

True there is work to be done.  Maybe it could start with rounding up this home a city to go with its street address.

What else needs to be on your list?  That is, aside from the bills from Cal Fire, the problems with the water and sewer services, and the growing number of foreclosures in the area due to residents unable to pay the huge water and sewer service bills. And bonds.  And fines for sewage spills.

Looks like if you move here, you’ll be tied up with all these exciting challenges!  But not as challenging as the previous owners who bought it in 2004 for $355K and were lassoed into foreclosure seven years later! 

Now when we said this place was rural, we weren’t kidding. You’ll be getting along your little dogie for a spell finding the place.

View Larger Map

Now will someone give this realtard a copy of the Hardy novel? 

So here’s the DEAL, the DEALS, yes we still have DEALS for you. Black Friday Deals are back!

We’re scouring the Bay Area for the cheapest houses out there! Today we’re taking a good look at Sonoma County, to find the absolutely, positively cheapest, least expensive, smallest asking price house for sale.

71 1st St
Camp Meeker, CA 95419
$100,000

2 Beds
2 Baths
1,040 Sq. Ft.
$96 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1920
Lot Size: 1,307 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 13 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Residential, Detached, Single Family
Community: Sebastopol
MLS#: 21226308
Stories: 1
County: Sonoma

2 bed 2 bath house

The good news: This house is barely sporting a six-digit pricetag!  Plus the agent took more than one photo!

The bad news: Is that moss growing on the roof?

The interior photography is intriguing.  It appears this agent is doing whatever is possible to not include a single square inch of the floor in any shot, which means most of them tend to show ceiling.

Lots and lots of ceiling.  This view of the kitchen only shows a little, but for this vintage stove, plus the solo wall-mount cabinet unit, along with the distressed treatment of the door, we could not resist.

And you could not resist this price. Sure, the house has a FAR of 0.796, but what do you want for just one homeowner spending unit?

Yesterday’s house seems to be a disappointment to some of you. There were some critics calling out the neighborhood, or maybe the neighbors. Maybe you don’t understand what we’re doing here.  We said we would find you the cheapest house in every county.  We are then doing that. If the neighborhood isn’t la-di-dah enough for you sip-your-tea-with-a-raised-pinky types, just keep your jodhpurs on. We’ll include some Real Bay Area cities in our Black Friday Deals.

Just… not yet!  Today, the cheapest house in all of Contra Costa County! Behold!

2819 CUTTING Blvd
Richmond, CA 94804
$49,950

1 Beds 
1 Baths
694 Sq. Ft.
$72 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1940 
Lot Size: 2,500 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 48 days
Status: Active
Type: Detached
Stories: 1
County: Contra Costa
Style: Bungalow
Community: South Richmond
MLS#: 40592250

Must See To Appreciate

This is the house. You want it? Must See to Appreciate. No lookie, no value go up.  Simple.  Boom.  But only one photo. Can’t really see it. And you must see it. You must to appreciate.

Think writing a listing like this is easy? Sure. Writing listings is easy. You just sit down by an MLS terminal and bleed.

We’re not just having Black Friday deals, we’ve got the cheapest housing all throughout the Bay!  Today we’re looking for the cheapest house in Alameda County.

Think you can’t afford a house? Boom. You could buy this one and still have enough left over for… oh… ANOTHER HOUSE.  The argument e-store is now offline.

1351 91ST Ave
Oakland, CA 94603
$39,888

1 Beds 
1 Baths 
634 Sq. Ft.
$63 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1927 
Lot Size: 2,725 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 5 days
Status: New
Type: Detached
Stories: 1
County: Alameda
Style: Traditional
Community: Oakland
MLS#: 40596586

Nice started home, good for investor. Bring your offers

That’s right! Bring it!  When you do, maybe you can figure out what’s in the structure in the back and why the roof looks, um, distressed.

They did say it was a nice started home. You just have to figure out what they started.  But look on the bright side.  It’s a gated community!

If you haven’t already gotten up at 5 a.m. to start shopping for holiday bargains, you’ve still come to the right place!  Thanksgiving is over, so get on your steel-toed cyber boots, the better to kick your fellow shoppers out of your way!  Yes, it’s time for Burbed‘s Black Friday Sales, where we find the absolute rock-bottom in housing prices all around the Bay!  And we’re opening an hour early just for you!

Here’s how Black Friday Sales will work this year. We’ll again feature the cheapest properties in each county all around the Bay Area, plus some of our favorite cities.  But we won’t forget that our readers are sending in listings as well, so you just never know if each day will be a Sale Property or something else entirely.  You’ll just have to tune in every day to find out.

Let’s begin our sales in Silicon Valley, because even Googlers like to bargain-hunt.  Here we go, the absolutely cheapest house in all of Santa Clara County!  Ready?

8282 Murray Ave #97
Gilroy, CA 95020
$18,000

1 Beds 
1 Baths 
542 Sq. Ft.
$33 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1966 
Lot Size: — 
On Redfin: 38 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Mobile Home (Single Wide), Mobile Home (Expando)
County: Santa Clara
Community: Morgan Hill/Gilroy/San Martin
MLS#: 81237950

Pre-owned, 1966 Kit, 1 bedroom/ 1 bath Single-wide mobile home in a senior park (one owner must be at least 55 years of age). Includes refrigerator, washer & dryer and window air conditioner. Low space rent!

Oh, not what you had in mind?  Even with a low space rent of $560 (which will probably double as soon as you finish signing those papers at the title company)?  Even with 15 pictures?

If you insist, there’s this.

5591 CARRYBACK Ave
San Jose, CA 95111
$245,000

2 Beds
2 Baths
1,121 Sq. Ft.
$219 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1989
Lot Size: 2,184 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 265 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Attached Single Family
Community South San Jose
MLS# 81208122
Stories: 2
County Santa Clara

Good home conveniently located. This is a short sale. Please do not disturb occupants.

Whatever developer named this street sure has a twisted sense of humor, because it’s a short sale.  There ought to be a Piggyback Lane here too.  Be sure to check out the listing history, because this place has gone pending four different times in the last three years, plus it sold in 2000, yes, twelve years ago, for $247K.

What? You want a detached house?  Okay, but this is your very last chance.

2138 HURAN Dr
San Jose, CA 95122
$248,000

3 Beds
1 Baths
912 Sq. Ft.
$272 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1960
Lot Size: 5,150 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 16 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
View: Neighborhood
County Santa Clara
Stories: 1
Community Alum Rock
MLS# 81240311

Another opportunity to own this 3 bedroom 1 bathroom single Family home located in San Jose. Very close to shopping centers, mall, and schools. Easy access to freeway 101. Sell is an “AS IS “ condition. Some dual Pane windows. Garage converted but permits unknown.

Oh, we’ve got a winner here! This one has everything! It’s also selling shortly, plus questionable permits and for sale as-is.  The listing copy mentioned the “easy access” to 101, but they didn’t mention the just as easy access to Reid-Hillview Airport. Hope you like the sound of takeoffs and landings!

And remember, more Black Friday Sales to come!

Good morning, and welcome back to another exciting Real Estate Week of Win here on Burbed!  Let’s get right to today’s spotlighted spectacular in the palatial premises of Palo Alto!  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for the drive-by!

3980 El Cmaino Real #13
Palo Alto, CA 94306
$20,000

Property Type: Mobile Home (Single Wide)
County: Santa Clara
Community: Barron Park
MLS#: 81230106

Palo Alto Schools for a rental cost of $675/month! By renting in this park, children eligible to attend Palo Alto Schools. Family of 4 with children attending Palo Alto Schools moving so now you can enjoy a million dollar education without the million dollar home purchase price! Laundry facilities in park. Good family park with good neighbors all getting along. Walk to Elementary school.

Wait, you can still buy a home in Palo Alto for a million?  Who knew?  Let us know if you have any success finding one.

And if you can’t, there’s always today’s featured home!  This property shows the benefits of jaw-dropping listing copy coupled with a misspelled street address, photos with plenty of clutter,  the mandatory crapper-cam with the lid fully raised  and proudly proclaiming its crappertude, and most important of all, good neighbors all getting along.  All this at an unbelievably affordable buy-in price and a monthly space rent that will no doubt be ratcheted up the split second you finish signing over that escrow.

But this is a good family park.  It says so, right in the listing.  And it must be, because we’ve featured this park on Burbed before.

Want to see how good this neighborhood is?  Well then, why not meet a couple of your new neighbors?  We’re sure they can’t wait to make the acquaintance of you, and especially the rest of your family.