September 6, 2013

East San Jose Mawbul Kawlums! This house sits on a lot of square feet

Okay, East San Jose hills, but still! Oh my gawd who lives here, the POPE?  Thanks very much to Burbed reader TL in San Jose for sending in this feature that indicates what makes a joint classy. KAWLUMS!  Put some in your bedroom!

130905-chaboya-redfin4227 CHABOYA Ct
San Jose, CA 95148
$2,988,000

7 Beds
6.5 Baths
8,314 Sq. Ft.
$359 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1989
Lot Size: 3.40 Acres
On Redfin: 14 days
Status: Active


130905-chaboya-kawlums1

130905-chaboya-kawlums2Not only this mansion teeming with MAWBUL KAWLUMS, the listing isn’t full of much of anything. We didn’t forget the description; there isn’t any. Also missing are basic entry items such as the County, the house style, and how many stories in the building. But this agent doesn’t have any stories to tell. Instead, we’ll let the photos do all the talking.

We did find this description on MLSListings:

130905-chaboya-kawlums3*BREATHTAKING UNSURPASSED VIEWS OF SF BAY AREA, SILICON VALLEY, AND THE BEST SUNSETS IN THE AREA* 7 BEDROOMS* 6.5 BATHS*2 MASTER SUITES* 2 KITCHENS W/ S.S. APPLIANCES* EXTRA LARGE BUILT IN FRIDGE* GRANITE SLAB COUNTERS HUGE ENTERTAINMENT/BONUS AREA* UNPARALLELED CUSTOM FINISHES THROUGHOUT *HIGH CEILINGS* MARBLE FLOORS* DRAMATIC STAIRCASE* BASKETBALL CT* VINEYARD * SOLAR POOL* EXCELLENT SCHOOLS*

130905-chaboya-kawlums4Best of all, it links to a virtual tour with, we shit you not, 80 pictures.  Because the 25 on Redfin are obviously not enough. Also not enough are the missing description in Redfin and the ALL-CAPS one above. So we are delighted to share the one from the virtual tour as well, because it demonstrates the care and consideration taken with selling a three million dollar house.

130905-chaboya-description

It certainly does. 148,104 sure is a lot.

130905-chaboya-kawlums5130905-chaboya-kawlums6

Comments (8) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:02 am






August 30, 2013

Watch the hawks soar with Portola Valley potential

There are many ways for a house to show Burbed win. One is for it to be completely overpriced, and the other is for it to be an utter crapbox.  Which kind do you like better? Can’t decide? Today’s house is BOTH!

130829-westridge-redfin207 WESTRIDGE Dr
Portola Valley, CA 94028
$2,998,000

4 Beds
2.5 Baths
2,770 Sq. Ft.
$1,082 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1952
Lot Size: 3.05 Acres
On Redfin: 5 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 2
Community: Central Portola Valley
MLS#: 81331429
Style: Contemporary
View: Green Belt, Mountains, Canyon
County: San Mateo

130829-westridge-flagstoneOver 3 acres with spectacular southern exposure, views toward Monte Bello Ridge. Watch the hawks soar! Architect designed with Frank Lloyd Wright’s "Falling Water" in mind, this mid-century contemporary is ready for extensive remodel or build new. Owned by one family since 1953. Wonderful privacy. Two guest cottages. Much deferred maintenance; 3-stall barn w/ hayloft in disrepair. Potential!


130829-westridge-poleDesigned with “Falling Water” in mind? We guess we could say our mid-century modern shack was designed with Monticello in mind… and yet it was a suburban tract house in fact.  Only ours has fewer paper cranes.

This house also reminds us of the one yesterday: way more pictures outside than in, and no bedrooms snapped at all. Wonder why not? Maybe by deferred maintenance they really mean the owners haven’t gotten out of bed since 1953.

Comments (4) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:02 am

August 26, 2013

Nothing wrong with this Los Gatos home that price can’t fix

Oh hell, it’s Monday. But there’s good things about Mondays. Mondays mean the beginning of another week of Burbed housing win, so let’s get started. Burbed reader nomadic has a LOT of win for us today in Los Gatos.

130825-belgatos-redfin308 BELGATOS Ln
Los Gatos, CA 95032
$2,500,000

4 Beds
3.5 Baths
4,165 Sq. Ft.
$600 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1987
Lot Size: 1.93 Acres
On Redfin: 29 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 2
Community: Los Gatos/Monte Sereno
MLS#: 81327424
Style: Tudor
View: City Lights
County: Santa Clara

Elegant Tudor Estate-4165 sqft with 3 car garage and 840 sqft detached guest house. -Gated with circular driveway and a completely fenced 1.93 acre lot-private with no neighbors yet close to town. Solar heated salt water pool and spa with pool house. Master suite with fireplace and large deck. Outdoor kitchen with barbecue, sink and fridge. Horses are permitted with trails adjacent to the property.

130825-belgatos-kitchenAdd it up: 4165 + 840 = 5005 sf. Yay! This house wins the Burbed ginormous tag by 5 square feet.  It’s also been on the market for (gasp) an entire month. Now let’s see what nomadic’s nominating statement for this property is.

Seller is a licensed RE agent.  There are only seven listing pics.  Seller has this priced just $70k above their 2006 purchase price, and I would guess it’s priced close to market value.  When the current seller bought the place, they paid $1.2M more than the previous sale price seven years earlier (the price doubled).  That previous seller was related to their agent.  Is this house now only bought & sold among realtors? There is no indication of any remodeling or building in between transactions.  This is the slums of Los Gatos – was it really in the RBA between 1999 and 2006?

130825-belgatos-poolIn summary, the price doubled in the seven years 1999-2006 and then stagnated for the seven years since. Ouch.

Don’t be silly, nomadic. The property most certainly did not stagnate. It ripened, like a fine wine, or cheese, or toe fungus. Obviously if YOU buy this property today, the price will quadruple in ten minutes, ensuring the RBA Property Doubles Every Ten Years rule we know and love.

But in order for that to happen, somebody had better buy this place before the various realtards selling it among themselves mistakenly ask so much that everyone forgets to overbid.

Comments (4) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:03 am

August 7, 2013

Palo Alto: The original home of Bay Area Bubble 4.0

We’ve been neglecting The Best City in The Most Special Place On The Planet! That’s right, we haven’t mentioned Mountain View in days! So while you’re waiting for more marvelous Mountain View, here’s a Palo Alto Property with Pride of Ownership instead. Thanks very much to Burbed reader Wendie for sending in this palace!

130806-homer-mlslistings424 HOMER AV
Palo Alto, CA 94301
$2,875,000 – Active

Type: Single Family Home
MLS #: ML81327461
SqFt: 2,200
130806-homer-frontBeds: 5
Lot Size: 3,920 SqFt
Baths: 3 Full
Year / Age: 1937 / 76

beautiful home near downtown. Current use is duplex a) 3 bed/ 2 bath & b) 2 bed/ 1 bath. Possibly convert to 5 bed/ 3 bath single family home. Approx 2200 sq ft total. Plus bonus basement area includes laundry room/ bonus rooms / extra storage. Hardwood floors. skylight. Family kitchen opens to private back yard with deck. Near downtown. Great location. Great home. Wonderful opportunities.

130806-homer-livingSorry for putting in the same picture twice, but that MLSListings layout doesn’t lend itself well to showcasing the first picture. And for $2.9 million, you need a good look at this estate. But let’s check in with Wendie, who has a few things to share.

Crazy pricing in Palo Alto.

2.8 million!

For 2.8 million, is the house:

130806-homer-kitchen1) Big?…no
2) On a big piece of land?….not even. One of the smallest plots of land you can find!
3) On a quiet street? Nope
4) Turn-key for a single family?  You wish! Expect construction costs in your future!
5) Situated on a lot with a private backyard?  
Aw shucks, no, you have  an apartment building overlooking your teeny tiny yard!
6) New, stainless steel appliances? Not really.
7) Updated bathrooms? No way, Jose!
8) Great curb appeal?  Negativo!

130806-homer-bedroomBut, this could all be yours for a crazy $2.8 million smackaroos! $1,272 per square feet! 

Wendie, great rant, but you seem to have missed the point. This house is in Palo Alto! All those things you’re complaining about simply don’t matter, because… this house is in Palo Alto!  These are not problems, these are opportunities! F’rinstance, the seller is realizing an opportunity in putting the house up for sale for the batshit insane asking price of $2.875 million.

Here’s the link to Redfin, should you prefer their take on the house. Love the natural corrugated décor above.

Comments (20) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:07 am

February 25, 2013

FOCUS-LIVE-ENDURE! In San Carlos! Again!

Okay, vacation’s over. Time to get back to work, and that means heading over to real estate sites to plan on where you really want to live.  Boss has the door shut, so fire up those listing websites! And today’s listing was sent (during coffee break) by Burbed reader Divasm.

130224-belle-zillow1959 Belle Ave
San Carlos, CA 94070
$2,100,000 (Listing removed 2/8/13)

Zestimate®: $1,957,700
Est. Mortgage: $1,883/mo
Bedrooms:4 beds
Bathrooms:5 baths
Single Family:3,532 sq ft
Lot:5,227 sq ft
Year Built:2012
Last Sold:Mar 2012 for $525,000
Heating Type:Forced air

Description

130224-belle-elevations” Tuscan Villa” – Centrally situated, within walking distance to Award winning “Brittan Acres” & “Central” schools. South Bay views from Master bedroom. Construction to start summer ’10 built by luxury home builder The Armanini Group (TAG) Builders, Inc. This home consists of six large bedrooms, den, five full baths, Family room boosting stone fireplace, extra-large eat in Kitchen with breakfast bar & nook open to Family room, Living room with single-beamed ceilings, 130224-belle-elevations2panelled ceiling in Dining room and attached two Car Garage / shop. Anderson wood windows, (full bullnose) granite countertops in Kitchen, travertine stone in Master bath, designer ceramic tiles in auxiliary baths, Kohler plumbing fixtures, custom hand-made cabinetry throughout by local craftsman, Thermador appliances, 3/4″ distressed hardwood flooring, 14 seer-rated air conditioning units, high energy efficient multi-zoned forced-air central heating, tank-less 130224-belle-siteplan(space saving) insta-hot water heater, wireless computer network, smart home electronics for computer programming your lighting, heating & air conditioning, audio, video & irrigation and extensive millwork throughout the entire home. Not all features mentioned. For a personal showing of this magnificent home in San Carlos, please call Michael or Genna Armanini at (cell) 650.218.5123 or email us at michael@armaniniproperties.com PRICE, TERMS AND MATERIALS UTILIZED SUBJECT TO CHANGE WITHOUT PRIOR NOTICE, CONTACT YOUR REAL ESTATE BROKER FOR CURRENT PRICING & TERMS. CALIFORNIA ASSOCIATION OF REALTORS “NEW CONSTRUCTION RESIDENTIAL PURCHASE AGREEMENT AND JOINT ESCROW INSTRUCTIONS” CONTRACT TO BE UTILIZED IN THE PURCHASE OF SUBJECT PROPERTY. FOCUS-LIVE-ENDURE!

No photos, just plans. Inappropriate use of quotation marks. A BUNCH OF ALL CAPS TEXT AT THE END. Best of all, construction promised the summer of… three years ago.  Oh, this is going to be good.  Let’s check in with Big D.

130224-belle-sketch-movotoI was browsing listings in San Carlos and came across this $2.1mil gem. It sounds terrific on paper, and I guess I can see why it’s so expensive, San Carlos, 4/4.5, 3500 square feet, built in 2012. But was it really?

The pic shows a sketch, and the satellite view shows a big dirt lot. Perhaps since then a house has popped up for which they offer to show you the plans, but then why not show a pic? Is it because you’re buying a lot and approved plans for $2.1mil? And look at the history, it’s all over the place. If I had any time I’d drive by myself and check it out…but it certainly must have some reason it’s been on the market for 138 days.

130224-belle-redfin-notforsaleHmm, plans on Zillow, sketch on Movoto, along with this description:

Off market until construction complete approximately mid-May. New quality construction. Plans available to view. Go to: www.johnshroyer.com, Click on “My Featured Listings”, scroll to photo of property, disclosures

Mid-May of what year? We’re starting a pool.  And who is John Shroyer? What happened to Michael or Genna Armanini? Does their cell phone still work? Did they pay their Summer 2010 bill?  How did that FOCUS-LIVE-ENDURE! thing work out for them?

Meanwhile, this construction site gave us some serious déjà vu, and for good reason.  Find out why, after the break.

(more…)

Comments (8) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:09 am

February 15, 2013

The Return of the Los Altos Hills Mystery House

We love it when listings rise from the dead canceled and return betteh than EVEH.  Today we have a house that already made one appearance on Burbed, so another one makes it so much more full of Win!  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Dibber for unearthing this unabashed ultimate unavailable (yep, PENDING!) um…

130213-eastbrook-zillow11441 Eastbrook Ave
Los Altos, CA 94024
Pending: $2,499,000
Zestimate®: $2,507,171

Bedrooms: 6 beds
Bathrooms:6 baths
Single Family:9,300 sq ft
Lot:23,086 sq ft
Year Built:1992
Heating Type:Forced air

Description

HUGE CUSTOM CONTEMPORARY HOME W/2100SF ATTACHED GUEST HOUSE**PERFECT FOR LARGE EXTENDED FAMILY OR INVESTMENT RENTAL**EXPANSIVE LIST OF AMENITIES INLC LIMESTONE FLRS, CUSTOM FAUX PAINT, LRG MASTER SUITE W/ SITTING ROOM, GOURMET KITCHEN W/ GRANITE, WINE CELLAR/TASTING ROOM, 5-ZONE HVAC, 4FIREPLACES** TWO (2) CAR GARAGES INCL OVERSIZED HEIGHT FOR R/V/WORKSHOP**FRESH LANDSCAPING,ROOFTOP BALCONY!

130213-eastbrook-frontWe’ll leave it as an exercise to the reader to find out why Zillow led with the cabinet picture instead of the front of the house.  Now let’s check in with Dibber:

Or maybe it never left?  Winchester Mystery House, Los Altos Hills campus.   Check out the listing history.  Who says Silicon Valley is expensive.  I can get you into Los Altos Hills baby!  And only $269 per square foot.  I’m thinking listing mistake…Concord? 

 

130213-eastbrook-dungeonPerfect for the large extended family?  Honey, please show aunt Betty to the 2100 square foot guest house, but this time please keep her out of the wine cellar and off the roof deck.  And honey, the kids really shouldn’t be playing pick-up soccer on the 280.

Yes, ridicuously cheap.  Too bad Foothill College doesn’t have fraternities.  This place would would be perfect… traffic noise would drown out the party noise!

Wonder why this never got snapped up last time we featured it… And here it is all the way from 2010!  Remember this one?

130213-eastbrook-1009-reprise

Wow, has the unwitting seller finally dropped the price low enough price to find a buyer?  Or is this just a coincidence that prices are finally going up again?

130213-eastbrook-history

Comments (9) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 12:03 am

January 11, 2013

What’s $2.1M and has no interior pictures?

1305 AVONDALE Rd
Hillsborough, CA 94010
$2,100,000

20130111-1305

“First time on market in many years”

No interior pictures.

“Lots of potential”

For some, these these facts may inspire some horror. What lies beneath this placid surface? Will it be a den of moldy rooms, complemented with wood panels and… gasp… a lack of pergraniteel?

I, however, am an optimist. I believe that these are actually code words for the savvy that this house is for those who value their privacy. Targeted at the execs that run Major Social Network Site and Major Search Engine, who don’t want anyone to know anything about them. In fact, it’s probably a good bet that it’s not pergraniteel inside… but rather redwood tree-elephant tusk-titanium inside. Could anything be more elite? Could anything require more privacy?

Are there any adventurous Burbians who could take a look inside this house and report back on what’s inside?

Comments (11) -- Posted by: burbed @ 5:31 am

December 17, 2012

Too much brush to walk in Woodside

Today’s featured property was sent in by Burbed reader Swan! Thanks very much for this wonderful Woodside win.  (Oh yeah, PENDING!!!!!!)

121216-marva-redfin133 MARVA OAKS Dr
Woodside, CA 94062
Listed at $1,895,000

2 Beds 
2 Baths 
1,400 Sq. Ft.
$1,354 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1961 
Lot Size: 3.73 Acres 
On Redfin: 112 days
Status: Pending Without Release
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Central Woodside
MLS#: 81231887
Style: Contemporary
View: Canyon
County: San Mateo

Driveway is a slight downslope, house is on the flat, then another downslope on a road to a lower, larger flat pretty area. From there property does go down to Raymundo, but too much brush to walk.

121216-marva-satelliteWe sure like this description of the property.  Here’s what Swan had to say about it.

Let’s start with the realtard listing 3.73 acres in Woodside for $2250.  Why I didn’t jump on the deal then, I’ll never know!  Suddenly, the price went up to $2,250,000 only to be reduced to $1,895,000.  Of course, the listing is pending! 

Anyway, how about the realtard’s description of the property.  Huh?  Say that again?  The Redfin agent seems to sum it up nicely:  fixer.  Oh, and be sure to check the satellite view in Google.  There’s a an RV (or something) with a lovely blue tarp over the top.And, on the back part of the property, a broken down vehicle along with that burned down barn.  I’m sure the surrounding mansions love living next door to the hillbillies!

Wait, what’s this about 3.73 acres for $2250?

121216-marva-prophist

Yowza.  And the Redfin agent?

121216-marva-insight

She did not actually say “fixer.”  Just “open your wallet.”

Comments (1) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:08 am

October 3, 2012

Messy hobby? Not enough parking? You’ll love this Los Gatos garage!

Our readers have mentioned what they’re looking for in an ideal home.  Some want a big, well-organized kitchen, some want spectacular views, some want the best school district possible.  And since Silicon Valley is We-Built-That Central, we’ve heard from many readers who want nothing more than a lot of garage and workshop space.  This lascivious Los Gatos listing, lobbed in by Burbed reader nomadic, may be where you’ll end up dropping your tools, banging your head, and having the time of your life.

Oh yeah, there’s supposedly a house somewhere on the property.

121002-harwood-redfin119 HARWOOD Ct
Los Gatos, CA 95032
$2,895,000

5 Beds 
5 Baths 
5,361 Sq. Ft.
$540 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1987 
Lot Size: 1.49 Acres 
On Redfin: 20 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: Bi/Split Level
Community: Los Gatos/Monte Sereno
MLS#: 81233794
Style: Mediterranean
View: City Lights
County: Santa Clara

Under Construction! Unique opportunity to complete construction to your own taste. Serene setting next to natural open space & trails. Mediterranean home, 4 BR & 3.5 BA (2 BRs are suits with Jacuzzi), sweeping city light views from all rooms. High ceilings & skylights bring lots of natural light. SF includes separate guest unit(960 SF) w/ 1 BR & 1.5 BA * Unit has 4 car garages. Total 7 car garages.

121002-harwood-viewHere’s why nomadic sent in the gorgeous garage (with ginormous garrison).

A trunkey Mediterranean (sic)! 7 car garages (huh?) 2 of the bedrooms are suits with Jacuzzis (how do you keep the water out of your shoes?)

Purchased at the height of the bubble for $2.3M, now in the “middle of remodeling” and the seller is trying for $2.9M.  Comparing with the 2008 listing, it looks like they added 1500sf, but I suspect that’s the size of the “guest house” because looking at the site, it doesn’t appear that they’ve expanded the house.  The bedroom/bath counts match up with the old 2008 listing too.

121002-harwood-listing-2008I go past this house regularly, and it seems like they’ve been working on the new tile roof for at least a year.  I figured the owner was doing it himself and was low on cash. 

Alas, the listing doesn’t show the garage as it goes through construction.  Instead, all we get are exterior shots such as this smoggy and obstructed view of Milpitas, except there’s a bunch of buildings blocking The Great Mall.  (The photo at right is from the aforementioned old listing.)

121002-harwood-construction-nomadicFortunately, nomadic took some actual on-site pictures!  Ready?

As promised, here are the pictures of the current state of the house on Harwood.  It’s kind of bizarre that he started putting pavers down for the driveway and quit part way through.  Usually you can put them in pretty quickly once the hard part (the base and leveling) is done.

The guest house (bottom left) looks kind of abandoned, just like the main house.  The view from the main house is pretty good; you can see Communications Hill (no big deal) and downtown San Jose.

121002-harwood-guest-nomadic121002-harwood-driveway-nomadic 

121002-harwood-view-nomadic

Still can’t see the Great Mall.  Might as well go back to the garage and enjoy that seller financing.

Comments (13) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:06 am

August 23, 2012

How you gonna keep ‘em down on the farm?

…Once they’ve seen the bright lights of South San Jose?  This is a floor wax and a dessert topping, two mints in one, yes an actual farm in San Jose.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Abby Dow for this fantastic farmyard complete with funky photos and retail store pricing.

3630 KETTMANN RD
San Jose, CA 95121
$2,999,999

120822-kettman-estately

120822-kettmann-front3 beds
2 baths
1300 sqft
8 acres
1937 built
18 days on site
MLS# 81229181
Walk Score™ 48

Wow- Great Location and Potential. Developers, investors and owner builder; come see for yourself this one of a kind evergreen property, wonderfully located on 8+ acres.

120822-kettmann-outbuildingThe value must be in the land because the actual house doesn’t appear in the listing photos until you get to #4.  Our pal Abby seemed quite taken with the idea:

I’m sure this is priced for development, but it’s still strange to see a shabby looking little farm with a rundown house going on the market for $2,999,999 in San Jose.

It sure is.  8 acres?  It should be going for $3,999,999, especially with trash bins of this quality.  Plus you can be lord of the manor on that much property right in the middle of all this suburban sprawl.

 120822-kettmann-satellite

Except that big house we’re seeing on Streetview is someone else’s manor.

120822-kettmann-streetview

You’ll get to know them well, as it looks like you’ll be sharing that gated one-lane road.  That’s going to be awesome when you build you PUD zoned 12 homes to the acre.  Who needs Santa Cruz, you can play real bumper cars just trying to get in or out!

Comments (12) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:04 am