It’s Friday! That means here comes your weekend, so we’d like to present a great location for a Silicon Valley stay-cation!  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Swan for sending this one in before the A to Z challenge (THANK GAWD THAT’S OVER IT WAS HARSHING OUR CRAPBOXEN). Fortunately the property is still very much on the market.

18157 WAGNER Rd
Los Gatos, CA 95032
$7,499,000

5 Beds
8 Baths
8,517 Sq. Ft.
$880 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1999
Lot Size: 25 Acres
On Redfin: 45 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: Tri-Level
Community: Los Gatos/Monte Sereno
MLS#: 81308591
Style: Traditional
View: Mountains, Canyon, Valley, City Lights
County: Santa Clara

Spectacular transformation! Vastly improved property from two years ago. Complete remodel of existing home with added sq footage, brand new 3100sf toy barn/garage, new 800sf pool house cabana w 500+sf covered patio, over an acre of new cabernet vines, bocce ball court, lacrosse field/sport court, wine cellar, 3car garage, workout facility, 600sf storage rm, outdoor entertaining paradise w pool!!!!

Let’s check in with Swan on this swank setting:

I have many properties I’ve been planning to send you, but I came across the following this morning and it rose to the top of the list:

At first, I thought I’d submit this home because of the realtard’s line, "Vastly improved property from two years ago." What is that realtor speak for?  Then, in looking at the pictures, I realized I’d seen this somewhere before!  

Yes, a finished home is a vast improvement!  Landscaping helps too!  From the pictures, it seems someone has been living there. The listing history goes on… Be sure to check out photo number 24 of the storage room.  An 8500 square foot home and you need 600 square feet of storage?  The current occupants have sure put the storage room to good use!

Have at it…

Yes, this place looks familiar, doesn’t it?  Or maybe not, since they finished painting and put all those ladders in the 600 square foot storage room.  It sold in May, 2011, for $5.75 million, and these listing photos look a little different than what we covered here.

Although we miss the ladders.  Made the place look like part of an Edgar Martins exhibition.

Also, we found the before before pictures.  Don’t miss them (kitchen pictured at left).  They might have asked for $3.95M that round, but they got $1.8.  You really have to check out the property history, because before that it was foreclosed on, maybe even twice in two weeks, and before that it was listed for $7.8M.  Good luck figuring out if it sold for $5.6M, or $7M or both or neither!  This house and its grounds have been nothing but a big and very expensive game of Hot Potato going back all the way to 2000!

So, Burbed readers, why is this amazing estate still on the market after an eternity of 45 days? Do you think the flippers are waiting to collect even more overbids?  Now that would be an even happier ending.

Just because we’re doing the Blogging from A to Z Challenge doesn’t mean we Have to Hold off our Hallowed Habits. One of them is that we welcome contributions from our readers. Heck, we Harangue our readers if they don’t play along. So, today we are Heaving up another letter of the alphabet, and Having a different poster Handle it.

We Hope you enjoy today’s Happening post from Burbed reader bublidoo!  Please give bublidoo a Healthy, Hot Real Bay Area Homecoming with today’s Holy $#*@! House.

1161 Highland Ter
Fremont, CA 94539
$5,493,000

6 Beds
9.5 Baths
9,967 Sq. Ft.
$551 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2009
Lot Size: 1.64 Acres
On Redfin: 79 days
Type: Detached
Stories 2
Community: Mission
MLS#: 40601026
Style: Custom
View: Bay, City Lights, Hills, Panoramic, Pasture, Ridge, San Francisco, Water
County: Alameda

Panoramic View, Custom Home, Like Living in Taj Mahal, Elevator, 6 Bedrooms-9.5 Bathrooms, Banquet Hall w/ Stage-Seat over 100, All Bedrooms have Full Bathrooms, $150,000 /Crystal Lights and Chandeliers, Stainless Steel Garage & Exterior Doors, Credit Available for Personalizing Your Finishing Touch.

Let’s Hear from bublidoo Her/Himself!

Figured eventually you’ll get to H.

This has got to be the butt-ugliest way to spend nearly 5.5 Million bucks. HDR [check] Cawlumns [check]. Granite on the wall [check]. More bathrooms than bedrooms [check] "Living like in Taj Mahal" [check]. Yeah, that’s right … sooooo much bling it makes a baroque castle look sparse.

But the HDR … OMG, the HDR! The first pic … OMG, seriously, I thought it’s so synthetic looking it must be from a first person shooter or something. This has gotta be the highest DR evar.

More pictures Here, because you gotta Have some kawlums!

Yesterday we had a brief summary of snapshots showing that we are indeed entering the early stages of a new real estate bubble.  Far-flung areas are still far below their ridiculous 2005-6 peak pricing, and nearby but unloved neighborhoods are being scraped up by investors rather than the outbid mortgage mooches.

But core Real Bay Area listings near high-paying tech jobs are at or even above their insane 2008 peak pricing.  Yes, 2008.  Crap areas hit their high-water marks much earlier than premium places, and it’s the high end that has come back first and letting us know it.  We promised we had a doozy for you today, and we weren’t kidding.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Wendie for bringing by the bubbly by the carboy.

Location, Location, Location! Teardown: $6.5 Million

Need proof that the Palo Alto housing market has heated up?

By Beatrice Karnes; February 8, 2013

It’s not enough to live in Palo Alto—homebuyers want to live in specific neighborhoods. A home in Old Palo Alto has gone on the market and it’s being advertised as a tear-down or a remodel. Asking price: $6.5 million.

It’s a simple, middle class home built in the mid-1930s and boasts four bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms, hardwood floors, some linoleum or vinyl floors, and a one car garage.

Let’s have a look.

1935 WEBSTER ST
Palo Alto, CA 94301
$6,500,000

Active
Type: Single Family Home
MLS #: ML81303410
SqFt: 3,009
Beds: 4
Lot Size: 16,610 SqFt
Baths: 3 Full / 1 Partial
Year / Age: 1937 / 76

Virtual Tour

Prestigious Old Palo Alto location. Rare opportunity to remodel or build new on a large lot. Possible subdivision, Buyer to verify with City of Palo Alto. Built in 1935 by William Wurster. Detached recreation room with workshop, dark room and half bath.

Let us count the ways that this is Dutch Tulip Fever all over again:

• A teardown, for Six. Point. Five. Million. Dollars.
• A teardown, but you could remodel. After spending Six. Point. Five. Million. Dollars.
• A teardown, 78 years old (2 years too young for the “old house” tag)
• A teardown, with a named architect.
• A teardown, sold for its potential to build two houses. But why stop there, bribe the appropriate agencies and cram in four!  Heck, how about a 20 story condo tower? Buyer to verify with City of Palo Alto.
• A teardown, with 22, yes twenty-two mostly similar photos in full HDR.  Have you ever seen HDR photos of a workshop, a basement, or a garden hose left on the ground?  You’re about to.

Do not miss this Rare opportunity to be able to Walk To Steve Jobs’ House.

We haven’t had a guest post for a while, so we’re going to sleep in while Burbed reader Dr. Jim takes over today’s column.  Thanks very much!  Please give Dr. Jim a big, warm, Real Bay Area welcome to the front page as today’s guest blogger!

And now we’re going back to bed.

451 PORTOLA Rd
Portola Valley, CA 94028
$6,495,000

4 Beds
5 Baths
4,200 Sq. Ft.
$1,546 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1912
Lot Size: 1.13 Acres
On Redfin: 88 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: Tri-Level
Community: Brookside/Willowbrook Area
MLS#: 81240340

Stunning historic estate originally built by Herbert E. Law completely renovated with state of the art contemporary finishes. Turreted castle main residence (3 br) incl. 1000 sq. ft new construction, stone guest cottage, 1200 sq. ft workshop. 1.2 flat ac. in prime PV, western views, pool, bocce court, enclosed rose garden, diamond plaster top quality appliances incl. La Cornue stove, Miele appl.

Check it out: 

They expect to make $4,645,000 profit on a house that they bought 1.5 years ago for $1,850,000!  That’s $1106/sf for remodeling.  And the cottage and workshop were there already.  Granted, the land is valuable, but that’s already accounted for in the original purchase price.  Let’s say they spent a ridiculous million dollars on renovation.  That’s still a 28% ROI, which is wildly ambitious.

A couple of notes on the listing copy: (1) This is not the Herbert E. Law estate, this is the former GATEHOUSE for the Law estate (Villa Lauriston).  (2) A La Cornue oven, oh boy!  It looks like the $35,000 model (Chateau 120).  If they had put in a $299 Kenmore range, I suppose they would be asking $6,460,299.  Not really much difference.

Thank goodness for the Internet.  Just a few years ago, prior sale info was more difficult to obtain.  I think part of the current real estate slump is due to all of the information on the web: people are no longer being duped as readily by realtors.

Happy Friday!  Let’s finish out the week with a super structure in Saratoga, courtesy of Burbed reader wahnny!  And break out the red arrows, because we’re hunting mawbul kawlums!

15181 BELLECOURT Ave
Saratoga, CA 95070
$6,000,000

5 Beds 
5.5 Baths 
6,600 Sq. Ft.
$909 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2003 
Lot Size: 1.02 Acres 
On Redfin: 10 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
County: Santa Clara
Style: French
Community: Saratoga
MLS#: 81236964

This unbelvble Gorgeous French Style Masterpiece Estate is spanned graciously on one level. Magestic & quality craftd, combind w/ architctural excellnce. Nestld in most desirble & prestigious area of SAR * Situatd on a Flat Acr+, * Guest Hse * amazing Media Rm/cinema * Game Rm * Exercise Rm w/ steam showr * 2Family Rms/wings * invitng grounds w/ Pool & Spa perfect4 entertainng * Orchrd * Nr downtwn-sar schls-Not a cornr lot

Was this house listed on Twitter before they put it on MLS?  With 6600 square feet of living space, certainly the broker could make room to stage some more vowels.

Now heeeeeeeeeere’s wahnny on why this wigwam’s a winner!

It’s been a while since multimillion+ RBA houses were featured on Burbed, but I just came across one that seems to go overboard in its ostentatiousness.

The house looks like an ad-hoc mishmash of architectural styles, with each room having different themes, some with painted ceilings, and of course, mawbul kawlums galore!

Curious who the seller/realtor thinks will be attracted to such a place, especially at their asking price.

We’re curious how high the overbidding on this kawlumned kastle will be when it’s so unbelvble.  We’ve included some more pictures for your perusal in case you doubt its awesomitude.  But we’re thinking of calling shenanigans on the home theater.  Either every high-end installation looks and photographs exactly the same, or the picture’s been nicked from another listing.

Bunus: See if you can figure out how this one acre property on the corner of Bellecourt and Highway 9 is not a cornr lot.

Everyone loves a flip!  That is if by everyone we actually mean Burbed readers who enjoy realty fail that happens to someone else.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Michael Boltonestater for this awesome apartment arrangement!

2033 LATHAM St
Mountain View, CA 94040
$5,900,000

— Beds 
— Baths 
13,530 Sq. Ft.
$436 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1958 
Lot Size: 0.59 Acres 
On Redfin: 20 days
Stories: 2
County: Santa Clara
Community: San Antonio
MLS#: 81230709

Quality 26 Unit Apartment Complex in desirable Mountain View location. Unit Mix of (4) 2 bedroom 1 bath units and (22) 1 bedroom 1 bath units. Property has been very well maintained and has been significantly renovated by its current owner during 2011 & 2012. Attractive curb appeal, apartments open out to a beautifully landscaped central courtyard w/ deck and BBQ. Ext. painted 2011. 25 Apts have DW

If a single family residence flip is good, then this is 26 times better!  Especially because the seller isn’t going to bore you with a bunch of pictures of the interior, when you have no intention of ever living there.

The photo on the right is the only one that matters.  Flip on, Garth!

Let’s continue our trip up and down the housing food chain.  Earlier this week we had a genuine crapbox.  Yesterday we had a mid-priced property in a neighborhood without a name (and it really says something for the Silicon Valley housing market that a million dollar property in an unremarkable part of San Jose is considered mid-priced at a million dollars).

Today we’re back to another Burbed favorite: the non-moving high end.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for this lovely landscape in Los Altos Hills.

12859 NORMANDY Ln
Los Altos Hills, CA 94022
$6,195,000

BEDS:  6
BATHS:  6.5
SQ. FT.:  7,333
$/SQ. FT.:  $845
HOA DUES:  $300/month
LOT SIZE:  1.21 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 3
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT:  2005
COMMUNITY:  Los Altos Hills
COUNTY:  Santa Clara
MLS#:  81216432
SOURCE:  MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN:  90 days

This stunning custom home is a masterpiece of East Coast-influenced architecture. The main residence features, 5BR/5.5BA + wkout rm (could be 6th BR), private office, a Media rm, large recreation rm & sep wine cell. Darling 1BR/1BA gst hs. Gorgeous landscaped grounds w/ sparkling pool/spa, exceptional terrace w/ fireplace, outdoor kit. & fountain. Detached 3-car gar w/ large workrm. Close in location

Other than the mildly radioactive trees on the grounds, this housing tumor photographed nicely.  There is the matter of the $300 homeowner’s association fees, not something one expects with a six million dollar property. 

Wonder just what the Normandy Lane Association gives you for the privilege?  Maybe they send someone over every month to spray paint the sod this exact shade of green not otherwise found even on a golf course.

And the reason PG sent it in?  Location, location, location!

Fire up your tardis and set the controls for two days ago, because there was an Open House on this Evergreen estate and you probably missed it!  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Swan for this bodacious botch-up.

3545 EDGEMAN Ct
San Jose, CA 95148
$6,399,999

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 3
SQ. FT.: 2,699
$/SQ. FT.: $2,371
LOT SIZE: 0.26 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Contemporary
STORIES: 2
YEAR BUILT: 1987
COMMUNITY: Evergreen
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81219851
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 22 days

Evergreen High School. Open house this Saturday, June 16, 2012, from 2-4pm. PRICE REDUCED 60K. BUYERS RUSH TO SEE THIS PROPERTY. EXCELLENT SCHOOLS. SPACIOUS 4 BEDROOM WITH 1 BEDROOM DOWNSTAIRS. AMAZING DEAL WILL NOT LAST. This is a shortsale with 1 lender only. Will close fast. PLEASE DO NOT CALL. FOR ANY QUESTIONS PLEASE EMAIL alexiatnguyen@gmail. com

Here’s what Swan has to say about THAT:

Really?  $6.3 million in Evergreen?  I think it will be around for awhile.

Talk about a typo.  Listed for $699K  on May 31, price changed to $6,399,999 on June 15.  That’s some price change!

Hope you get to see this before they correct it!

Correct it?  They’re lining up the armored cars for the outsized overbidding that’s going to result from this masterly marketing maneuver.  And it’s not as if this home price history hasn’t already experienced the thrill of victory, and the agony of defeat.

It’s participated in the run-up, peak, and bust of the previous real estate bubble, 3 sales within five years!  Now, after staying with the same owners for almost 20, it will be selling shortly.  Or at least it would if the realtard had counted how many nines she entered.

So here’s one last look at the house, courtesy of Google Streetview. Place your bets on how quickly the new price ends up in that trash bin.

Update: This amazing deal did not last.

Like any long-running blog, Burbed has developed a few inside jokes.  One of them is our fondness of the most important element in classical architecture.  That’s right.  Mawbul Kawlums.  (And if you haven’t seen this video yet, please go watch it, because it’s a classic.  Ha ha!  Classic, get it?) 

Ever since we featured this empty spec house, Burbed readers have asked for more homes in KawlumVision.  Today’s featured listing says “Break out the red arrows!”

Thanks very much to Burbed reader Swan for this super structure in Saratoga at an even more super price!

13815 PIERCE Rd
Saratoga, CA 95070
$6,988,000

BEDS: 6
BATHS: 5.5
SQ. FT.: 8,000
$/SQ. FT.: $874
LOT SIZE: 1.87 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Mediterranean
STORIES: 2
VIEW: Mountains
YEAR BUILT: 2008
COMMUNITY: Saratoga
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81215397
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 13 days

This elegant 8000+/- sf Italian Villa on 1.5+/- view acres will awaken all your senses. The elaborate paver driveway with 3 entrances leads you to a beautifully designed front steps and door. Great curb appeal! The 3 levels include an excellent open floor plan with 6 bedrooms and 5.5 bathrooms, Brasilian Cherry hardwood floors, marble bathrooms, spiral staircase, Best Anderson windows and More!

Here’s why Swan shared this home with all of you:

I am in mawbul kawlum heaven!

Kawlums in front, kawlums at the garage, kawlums in the entry hall, kawlums in the master bath, kawlums in back, kawlums at the gazebo!

Are there enough red arrows in the world for this home?

This house may very well have broken the Burbed KawlumVision generator, because there actually are kawlums hiding behind other kawlums.  We assure you that every single red arrow in the big picture above is pointing to a unique kawlum. It’s just that some of them are shy.

You can see the wallflower kawlums from this slightly different angle of the façade, available from this home’s virtual tour. Plus it also has the aforementioned garage kawlums. 

The MLS listing has 14 yummy pictures, many of them with kawlums to drool over.  But if you can’t get enough kawlumnage, plus more eye-popping “They put that in there?” you simply must check out the tour as well.  And bring your red arrows.

Remember, nothing says “Rich people live here” like mawbul kawlums.  Well, that and a $7 million listing price.

Poor Mr. Zip.  The United States Postal Service put him out to pasture in 1986, when they introduced the ZIP+4 postal codes.  But he was a familiar sight in the 1960s, urging everyone to include the new ZIP (Zone Improvement Plan) postal codes when sending mail.

Mr. Zip might not be around to nag you on addressing envelopes, because he’s in retirement.  Mr. Z writes to say he hopes this series will go on forever, because he can’t play Name That Code all the time.

Today we bring you yet another installment of all the Northern California cities on Forbes’ Most Expensive Zip Code list.  It features data crunched by local favorite Altos Research (and mangled by Forbes; you’d think after I’ve linked to them four different times and noted in each article that their data has a systematic error in every single entry, maybe somebody there would fix it, but NOOOOOOOO).  Anyway, here’s what you may have missed while writing code or hanging out on a sunny sidewalk waiting to collect a faceful of pepper spray.

Previous Entries in the Most Expensive Zip Code Series:

• Top 50 Most Expensive Zip Codes, RBA Edition
• Next 50 Most Expensive Zip Codes, Almost-RBA Edition
• Third Tier Realty: Zips 101-200 or I have a feeling we’re not in the RBA Anymore
• Fourth Tier Cul de Sac: Submillion in Suburbia

Now, we’ll take the Fifth!  Fifth Tier, that is; the Top Half of the Bottom 200!

Let’s see which cities can still scrape together a property median wishing price just under $850K.  Remember, we correct the mistakes as we find them, and we added the comparison to last year’s list.  That’s the kind of original work you’ll only find done by obsessive-compulsive bloggers who think zip codes are fascinating.  Well, Mr. Zip certainly agrees!

#304: San Mateo 94402

• Median Home Price: $849,292
• Median Price Change: NA
• Average Days On Market: 200 114
• Inventory: 114 81
• Rank in 2010: 236 (-68 spots ⇓)
• Most Expensive Home: $13 Million

Now I am beginning to think that the people at Forbes were just making stuff up for that “Most Expensive Home” field.  $13 million.  In San Mateo.  The most expensive place I could find sold for $3.3 mil in June, including the gated entryway.  It’s just like what you get in mid-level condoplexes, including calling itself an ESTATE (complete with the CAPITAL LETTERS).

Ah, but that living room does look spacious enough to hold a very small charity ball.  More goodness from Mr. Zip after the break!

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