It’s Monday – and just in time, I found this:

MLSlistings Property Detail for MLS number 636354
956 CINNABAR ST
San Jose, CA 95126

$550,000

This Single Family Residence has the following features:
MLS#: 636354 Approx Age: Unavailable Approx Sq Ft: 1042
Detached Single Family 1 Story Victorian

Though they don’t know the age of the house, I’m pretty sure it doesn’t matter – let’s face it, this house will eat your soul. You’ll move in, and suddenly you’ll become allergic to light. Great for new families though…

Try to sleep tonight.

At first glance, this doesn’t seem too horrible – after all, we have lower standards for housing here in the Bay Area. $575k and you still have metal bars on the front door? No biggie…  but then…

MLSlistings Property Detail for MLS number 634633
711 MINNESOTA AV
San Jose, CA 95125

$575,000

This Single Family Residence has the following features:
MLS#: 634633 Approx Age: 66 Years Approx Sq Ft: 1094
Detached Single Family 1 Story Cottage/Bungalow

you look at the interior pictures…

Oh dear. Oh dear. I love how the range is about 2 feet from the wall. Was that the style in 1940?

Testify against the mob in Chicago or New York recently? If so, this house might be great for you!

MLSlistings Property Detail for MLS number 602507
Call Your Real Estate Professional
For The Address
San Jose, CA 95111

$550,000

This Single Family Residence has the following features:
MLS#: 602507 Approx Age: 55 Years Approx Sq Ft: 1118

Where is it? What is it? Who knows? Who cares! Perfect for the turncoat who wants to disappear.

MLSlistings Property Detail for MLS number 603772
TWIN FALLS RD
MORGAN HILL, CA 95037

$525,000

This Single Family Residence has the following features:
MLS#: 603772 Approx Age: 4 Years Approx Sq Ft: 1430
Detached Single Family 2 Stories Ranch

So when you get tired of the view, can you somehow drive this away?

I’ve never been to Denver – so I was wondering, what could you buy in Denver for the price of a median condo in Santa Clara?

I found this place – is it near denver?

REcolorado.com – brought to you by Metrolist Inc.
Address:
22645 E CALHOUN PL
AURORA, 80016
Price:
$500,000

Description:
AIR CONDITIONING-CENTRAL, BALCONY, BACKS TO OPEN SPACE, CABLE INSTALLED, COOK TOP, DECK, DRYER, DISPOSAL, DISHWASHER, EATING SPACE KITCHEN, FORMAL DINING, FENCE(D), FIREPLACE INSERT, GOLF COMMUNITY, GARAGE DOOR OPENER, KITCHEN ISLAND, LOFT, LANDSCAPE PROFESSIONAL, MASTER BATHROOM, MICROWAVE OVEN, POOL COMMUNITY, PATIO, REFRIGERATOR, SMOKE ALARM, SELF-CLEANING OVEN, SMOKE FREE, STOVE/RANGE/OVEN, TILE FLOOR, VIEW CITY, VIEW MOUNTAINS, WALK-IN CLOSETS, WALL TO WALL CARPETING

Looks a little McMansion – but it’s not a 2br condo in the Bay Area. And if you’re not living in the Bay Area, then life is not worth living!

MLSlistings Property Detail for MLS number 628352
567 STANFORD AV
Redwood City, CA 94063

$599,500

This Single Family Residence has the following features:
MLS#: 628352 Approx Age: 10 Years Approx Sq Ft: 790
Attached Single Family 1 Story Traditional

Alright… the usual overpriced, tiny, weirdly colored outside house – blah blah blah…

That I get. This is the Bay Area after all – move anywhere else and you won’t get sunlight, find sushi, or be with people who can use computers again.

I get that.

But this I don’t get:

MLSlistings Property Detail for MLS number 629633
2205 ADDISON AV
East Palo Alto, CA 94303

$529,988

Alright, so it is actually a house – not just a garage. But the real question is – does the buyer get to keep the flag?

I saw this picture, and I thought there was something strange… but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Was it hte staircase that looks like it is held together with Elmer’s glue? Is it the retro gas stove?

Fortunately the description helps reveal what’s going on:

EBRD (East Bay Regional Data)
2253 ADDISON AVE.
EAST PALO ALTO, CA 94303

Listed By:
MARIA L. BEJARANO
RE REALTY EXPERTS

$589,950

2 Bedrooms
1 Full Bath(s)
860 Estimated Sq. Ft.

Listing #: 40158911
OAK KITCHEN CABINETS,TILE FLOORS AND COUNTERS,GAS RANGE,ALL PANE WINDOWS. 2 BEDROOMS 1BATH. GARAGE CONVERTED TO A STUDIO WITH NO PERMITS, HAS STOVE FRIDGE,SINK AND BATH W/SHOWER STALL. BRING ALL OFFERS. ROOF DONE IN 1997.

Ah yes. There’s nothing more beautiful than a studio with a garage door as the door.

Isn’t this kind of stuff… illegal?

Paranoid? Afraid of the 5-0 looking into your place? Wear a tin foil hat? This might be the home for you!

MLSlistings Property Detail for MLS number 618907
1916 SILVERWOOD AV
Mountain View, CA 94043
Complex: SILVERWOOD VLG

$529,000

This Townhouse has the following features:
MLS#: 618907 Approx Age: 32 Years Approx Sq Ft: 968
Townhouse 26-50 Units Low Rise (1-3 Stories)

Caution… there are windows on the side. Sort of.

Happy Monday! Since it’s back to work, it’s back to finding great deals, here in the Bay Area.
Who says you can’t find a home in San Jose for less than $499,000! Here’s the bestest one ever:

MLSlistings Property Detail for MLS number 572186
1520 E CAPITAL EXPW ## 27
San Jose, CA 95121
Year: 1979
$499,000

This Mobile Home has the following features:
MLS#: 572186 Approx Age: 26 Years Approx Sq Ft: 1080
Single Wide Mobile Home 2 Bedrooms 2 Bathrooms

It’s even mobile! Like a mobile phone! And everyone loves mobile phones! Right?