MLSlistings Property Detail for MLS number 721100
610 ACACIA LN
Redwood City, CA 94062
$997,000

This Single Family Residence has the following features:
MLS#: 721100 Approx Age: Unavailable Approx Sq Ft: 1370
Detached Single Family 2 Stories 3 Bedrooms
1 Bathroom 1 Shower over Tub 1 Tub
Eat in Kitchen Dining “L” Utility Room

Now, granted this house is on a somewhat larger lot – but when I think of a “million dollar home” I guess I wasn’t expecting this.

But then again, this is Redwood City – it has the World’s Best Weather(TM). And thus, this house is worth almost $1 million.

Wanna bet that next year it will be worth $2 million?

MLSlistings Property Detail for MLS number 734488
1016 PORTO MARINO DR
San Carlos, CA 94070
$950,000

This Single Family Residence has the following features:
MLS#: 734488 Approx Age: 46 Years Approx Sq Ft: 1590
Detached Single Family 1 Story Ranch
3 Bedrooms 1 Master Bedroom Suite 2 Bathrooms
1 Stall Shower 1 Shower over Tub 1 Tub
Family Room Kitchen Living Rm/Dining Rm Combo Laundry Area – Garage

I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with this house – but this photo just cracks me up. That’s worth a 6% commission ($57,000) right there.

I was also going to make a joke about leaning to the “porto” but I think it’s actually leaning starboard side… any mariners out there?

MLSlistings Property Detail for MLS number 728556
515 CAPUCHINO DR
Millbrae, CA 94030
$983,000

This Single Family Residence has the following features:
MLS#: 728556 Approx Age: 62 Years Approx Sq Ft: 1240
Attached Single Family 1 Story Ranch
2 Bedrooms 1 Master Bedroom Suite 2&1/2 Bathrooms
1 Stall Shower 1 Shower over Tub 1 Tub
Eat in Kitchen Living Rm/Dining Rm Combo Bonus Room
Laundry Area – Inside Extra Storage Attic
Wall to Wall Carpeting Gas Heat Central Forced Air Heat
Central Air Conditioning City/Public Water 1 Car Garage

So this house is $983,000 – yet look at the size of the garage. You see, when you buy this house, you’re telling the rest of the world “I’m FRICKIN’ GREEN” “I HATE GLOBAL WARMING” “I DON’T HAVE A CAR” because what car can possibly fit in that garage?

No… you’re ahead of the game. You ride a bike, a motorcycle,  or a segway. And that’s why, this is the perfect house for you.

Go ahead. Make a statement. Save the earth.

MLSlistings Property Detail for MLS number 724196
12539 PASEO FLORES
Saratoga, CA 95070

$949,000
CORNER LOT OPPORTUNITY TO REMODEL
CALL MY HOT LINE (408)718-5844 MY PLATINUM PROGRAM WAS DESIGNED TO MAKE YOU THE WINNER, I FIND ALL THE CHOICES YOU SELECT THE PROPERTIES, I WILL PERFORM A SEARCH OF THE ENTIRE DATA BASE, AND ALL FSBO LISTINGS AS WELL. I LOVE ASSISTING CLIENTS IN ALL AREAS OF REAL ESTATE. LET ME QUALIFY YOU FINANCIALLY FOR THIS HOME, SHOW YOU THE PAYMENT OPTIONS, BUYING IS EASY, YOU ARE THE WINNER. CALL ME, DON’T HESITATE, THIS IS THE TIME TO BUY. I AM A LOAN OFFICER AND REALTOR, YOU ARE THE WINNER.

This Single Family Residence has the following features:
MLS#: 724196 Approx Age: 54 Years Approx Sq Ft: 1620
Detached Single Family 1 Story Colonial
4 Bedrooms 2&1/2 Bathrooms 1 Stall Shower

OMG! This person is a Loan Office and Realtor! Sweet! I’m definitely going to be a winner working with this person! It’s impossible to find people like that – it’s like being a JD and a MD! You need thousands of years to get both licenses!

BTW, to the owner of this house- aren’t you curious as to why not a single line of text was actually about your house on this ad?

Oh… right… you’re not the winner.

140 S Rengstorff Ave, Mountain View, CA 94040 – Property Details.
140 S Rengstorff Ave, Mountain View 94040

Bedroom: 3 Bathroom: 2 MLS#: 725603 Square Footage: 1200 $959,999
Status:
Active
Year Built: N/A Parking Spaces: 2 List Date: 5/10/2007 Lot Size: 5227

DESCRIPTION -
140 S Rengstorff Ave, Mountain View
GREAT HOME NEAR EVERYTHING PARK, SHOPS,ECT. PLEASE CALL AGENT BEFORE SHOWING. BRING YOUR FUSSY BUYERS. PREAPPROVED PLEASE. GRAT AREA IN MT. VIEW. DON’T MISSTHIS OPPORTUNITY.

Wow. $959,999 for this. Yes, Mountain View really is the Fortress(TM) of prices.

By Fussy Buyers, the Realtor means: “People who love the sound of trains, the inability to back out of your driveway due to traffic, and easy access to sidewalk churros vendors.”  In fact, that’s exactly what a “Grat Area” is! See? You just learned a new term today!

I love the $999 price ending. You’re probably paying extra for this shot:

Your eyes do not deceive you. This house does indeed have a wall on the side. SWEEEEET!

809 North Rd, Belmont, CA 94002 – Property Details.
809 North Rd, Belmont 94002

Bedroom: 3 Bathroom: 1&1/2 MLS#: 730128 Square Footage: 1160 $900,000
Status:
Active
Year Built: N/A Parking Spaces: 1 List Date: 6/1/2007 Lot Size: N/A

DESCRIPTION -
809 North Rd, Belmont
Great opportunity to own this home on a large 7040 Sq.foot R-4 zoned lot.Many expansion possibilities. Complete with plans and drawings for a second unit. Spacious yard with deckand storage room. Plenty of off street parking, 5 Cars

Let’s say that you do tear this down and take advantage of the R4 zoning – would you still have the ability to park 5 cars?

And why is parking 5 cars such a big selling point for a house that’s 1160 sqft otherwise?

Curious minds want to know!

Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage
9235 SAGEWOOD CT
Gilroy, CA, 95020 offered at $645,000Bedrooms: 4 Bathrooms: 2 Full
Apprx. Sq. Feet: 1516
Request More Info Schedule A Showing

GREAT HOME IN CUL-DE-SAC ACROSS FROM TOP RANKING SCHOOL. QUIET NEIGHBORHOOD NEW LANSCAPING, LARGE KITCHEN, CABINETS REDONE, BUILT IN DESK, FIREPLACE THIS IS SUCH A QUAINT HOME, IDEAL FOR A DAY CARE. OPEN HOUSE SAT 5/12

Thanks to Burbed reader Jackie for submitting this one. Jackie coyly observed that the main picture of the school sign and not the house. Because, you know… that’s what you’re buying… the school district.

Personally, I’m bemused by the fact that this “quaint” 1516 sqft home is sold as having great potential for a day care. I guess that’s certainly one way to help with the $3574 a month mortgage.

Isn’t homeownership in the Bay Area grand? (Yes, Gilroy is in the Bay Area…)

OMG! I found the perfect, reasonably priced home! Finally! After all these years! Check it out!

Yeah… it’s $989,000 – but check it out! 2,200 sqft 3br/2.5ba on a 5663 sqft lot! Looks to be in great shape as well. Nice stone driveway to boot!

A little pricey, but it’s pretty darn big and looks great. I think this is reasonable.

Oh wait… something’s happening… something’s HAPPENING!

Oh no! OH NO! This house is actually in Greenwich, CT!

Aw nuts. Greenwich, that place isn’t special at all. Sure it’s the home of $120 billion worth of hedge funds, Regis Philbin, Diana Ross, Tommy Hilfiger, and Kathie Lee Gifford… but what about Pho and Burritos? And good weather? Smart people? And El Camino Real?

Clearly not a special place. Gah. So close. Quick let me redeem myself by finding some equivalent in the Bay Area!

MLSlistings Property Detail for MLS number 711063
1159 KENTWOOD AV
Cupertino, CA 95014
$998,888

This Single Family Residence has the following features:
MLS#: 711063 Approx Age: 45 Years Approx Sq Ft: 1190
Detached Single Family 1 Story Ranch
3 Bedrooms Ground Floor Bedroom 2 Bathrooms
1 Stall Shower 1 Shower over Tub 1 Tub

Ahhhh……. much better. Much much better.

Happy April 1st!

A while ago, Burbed reader CatSynth asked:

OK, that’s at least two Long Island posts in the last couple of weeks. What about Westchester – New York City’s northern suburb? Having grown up there, I’m pretty sure it has some pretty high housing prices – you’ve got Scarsdale, and Chappaqua (my home town, and home of Hillary Clinton).

Burbed serves his readers. (Sometimes late though.) I thought it would be fun to see what $999,000 buys you in Chappaqua – home of CatSynth and Hillary Clinton. Let’s see:

REALTOR.com: Find a Home – Listing Detail
Chappaqua, NY 10514
MLS ID#: 2625526
$999,900

4 Bed, 3 Bath
2,418 Sq. Ft.
0.71 Acres
Building Lifetime Relationships . . . One House at at Time

Single Family Property, Area: New Castle, County: WESTCHESTER, Approximately 0.71 acre(s), Lot is 30928 sq. ft., Year Built: 1920, Central air conditioning, Swimming pool(s), Fireplace(s)

Wow… so for $999,000 you get .71 acres of land, a 2418 sqft house with 4 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms. Oh, and it has a pool.

Why did I pick this house? Because yesterday we saw what $999,000 gets you in the Bay Area:

So – your choice. $999,000 for a 506 sqft home with 2 bedrooms and 1 bath in a place that’s truly special?

Or $999,000 for a 2418 sqft home with 4 bedrooms and 3 bath in a place that doesn’t have Stanford, Cal, nice summers, nice winters, tech jobs, good burritos/guacamole, gangs, Walmart, or El Camino Real?

The answer is obvious!

Happy Friday everyone!

EDIT: It was pointed out that the Mountain View house was actually an R3, so you’re buying that house to tear it down to build multiple ones. For the sake of fairness, here’s another special $99xk Bay Area house:

http://www.burbed.com/2007/02/07/949000-mi-1092sqft-casa-is-su-casa/

MLSlistings Property Detail for MLS number 703508
2665 MILLER AV
Mountain View, CA 94040
$999,000This Single Family Residence has the following features:
MLS#: 703508 Approx Age: 53 Years Approx Sq Ft: 506
Detached Single Family 1 Story Cottage/Bungalow
2 Bedrooms 1 Bathroom 1 Stall Shower

Now granted, this -is- on a 10,890 sqft lot – which is pretty big. And Mountain View is special. It’s got Thai restaurants, Walmart, and Google.

But here’s the kicker:

Sale History
03/15/2006: $885,000
05/07/1999: $475,000

Yep. This house was only 11% less last year. Don’t you wish you had bought it then? Now you’re priced out! See! They told you so!

Tomorrow, we’ll see what $999,000 can buy you somewhere else… (it won’t be as special though.)