It’s Friday! That means here comes your weekend, so we’d like to present a great location for a Silicon Valley stay-cation!  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Swan for sending this one in before the A to Z challenge (THANK GAWD THAT’S OVER IT WAS HARSHING OUR CRAPBOXEN). Fortunately the property is still very much on the market.

18157 WAGNER Rd
Los Gatos, CA 95032
$7,499,000

5 Beds
8 Baths
8,517 Sq. Ft.
$880 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1999
Lot Size: 25 Acres
On Redfin: 45 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: Tri-Level
Community: Los Gatos/Monte Sereno
MLS#: 81308591
Style: Traditional
View: Mountains, Canyon, Valley, City Lights
County: Santa Clara

Spectacular transformation! Vastly improved property from two years ago. Complete remodel of existing home with added sq footage, brand new 3100sf toy barn/garage, new 800sf pool house cabana w 500+sf covered patio, over an acre of new cabernet vines, bocce ball court, lacrosse field/sport court, wine cellar, 3car garage, workout facility, 600sf storage rm, outdoor entertaining paradise w pool!!!!

Let’s check in with Swan on this swank setting:

I have many properties I’ve been planning to send you, but I came across the following this morning and it rose to the top of the list:

At first, I thought I’d submit this home because of the realtard’s line, "Vastly improved property from two years ago." What is that realtor speak for?  Then, in looking at the pictures, I realized I’d seen this somewhere before!  

Yes, a finished home is a vast improvement!  Landscaping helps too!  From the pictures, it seems someone has been living there. The listing history goes on… Be sure to check out photo number 24 of the storage room.  An 8500 square foot home and you need 600 square feet of storage?  The current occupants have sure put the storage room to good use!

Have at it…

Yes, this place looks familiar, doesn’t it?  Or maybe not, since they finished painting and put all those ladders in the 600 square foot storage room.  It sold in May, 2011, for $5.75 million, and these listing photos look a little different than what we covered here.

Although we miss the ladders.  Made the place look like part of an Edgar Martins exhibition.

Also, we found the before before pictures.  Don’t miss them (kitchen pictured at left).  They might have asked for $3.95M that round, but they got $1.8.  You really have to check out the property history, because before that it was foreclosed on, maybe even twice in two weeks, and before that it was listed for $7.8M.  Good luck figuring out if it sold for $5.6M, or $7M or both or neither!  This house and its grounds have been nothing but a big and very expensive game of Hot Potato going back all the way to 2000!

So, Burbed readers, why is this amazing estate still on the market after an eternity of 45 days? Do you think the flippers are waiting to collect even more overbids?  Now that would be an even happier ending.

We move on with the Blogging from A to Z Challenge, and today’s a Premier Prospect! Pronto, Propose a Principality where the Population is Pushy, Pretentious, and Proud? Did someone say Palo Alto? Perhaps Piedmont? Possible, but we’ll Put them aside. 

Today’s Property is in Portola Valley!  Profound thanks to Burbed reader laurenatuw.

187 DEGAS Rd
Portola Valley, CA 94028
$3,150,000

5 Beds
3.5 Baths
3,600 Sq. Ft.
$875 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1962
Lot Size: 2.56 Acres
On Redfin: 6 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 2
Community: Central Portola Valley
MLS#: 81311884
Style: Colonial

AWESOME OPPORTUNITY IN WESTRIDGE, THIS HOME IS A WELL LOVED ORIGINAL JEWEL. FIRST TIME ON THE MARKET HOME BOAST HAND CRAFTED, BEAUTIFUL FINISHED INTERIOR LIVING AREAS. HAND CRAFTED WOODWORK AND HARDWOOD FLOORS THROUGHOUT METICULOUSLY CARED FOR AND STAND OUT IN THIS COMFORTABLE 5 BDRM, 3.5 BATH FAMILY HOME. SITUATED ON 2.5+ ACRES OF SCULPTED AND NATURAL LANDSCAPE, THE PROPERTY IS PRIVATE YET CONVENIENT

Let’s Pester laurenatuw for a Precis:

hand crafted interior not worth picturing

interesting new listing in Portola valley……. the town is so distracted by the housing bubble that pics of inside the house are now considered optional, even with a 3.15mill asking price.

guess you’ll just have to take the realtard’s word for it when they say (in all caps) "HAND CRAFTED, BEAUTIFUL FINISHED INTERIOR"…….

This Property is so Private that the agent Provided 14, Poll ‘em, 14 Pictures and every single Photo Portrays another Piece of the Peripheral Premises.

Yes, we’re still in the Blogging from A to Z Challenge, and the Juicy Joint de Jour is right here in the wanna-be capital of Silicon Valley: San Jose!  Poor San Jose.  This city and its metro Just can’t catch a break. San Jose is bigger than San Francisco, but nobody loves it.  Even when Journalists mention Silicon Valley they’re usually talking about Palo Alto and Mountain View.  San Jose has been Jolted by spending problems, while the local Journal hasn’t heard anything from the mayor it wouldn’t Join.

So are you Jazzed?

4140 CADWALLADER Ave
San Jose, CA 95121
$1,100,000

3 Beds
3.5 Baths
2,525 Sq. Ft.
$436 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1915
Lot Size: 1.51 Acres
On Redfin: 117 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Evergreen
MLS#: 81243242
Style: Ranch
View: Mountains, Valley, City Lights
County: Santa Clara

Very private and quiet 1.5 acres with panoramic view! Surrounded by upscale new homes, existing 3BD 3.5BA farm house with pool has great potential for future vineyard estates with TLC. Enjoy Fig, Apricot, Prune and Cherry trees and huge garden. Rural residential zone. Livestock, horse allowed. Minutes to Evergreen Village Square, Community Center, Library, College, Reid Hill Airport.

Looks like another round of “never mind the house, look at all this land!” in the photoset. And there’s enough for you to plan your next startup Web-enabled Social Media Just-in-time Agile Japanese Lean 6.0 App, be a Job Creator, plus room to set up housing for any workers who can’t afford to live further north!

Ja, you could be the next Steve Jobs! And if your venture doesn’t succeed, how about Jumping into a Juvenile Jail franchise?  If that doesn’t Jibe, there’s always land! Just plant Jicama and Jalapenos to stay out of Jeopardy!  For great Justice!

Also, if horse allowed, so is Jackass.

As we move Into the second week of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge, we note that some letters are Indeed more Inconsiderable than others. We Imagined X to Induce Irritation. But what’s a good I for a Bay Area place name? There’s the Irvington district of Fremont, but we’ve been showing Fremont waaaaaay too much Burbed love lately.

Fortunately, an Inch further north Inducts more I’s without Invading Sonoma County. Yes, I is for Inverness.  And a few other Items. 

12641 Sir Francis Drake Blvd
Inverness, CA 94937
$519,750

4 Beds
3 Baths
1,939 Sq. Ft.
$268 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1977
Lot Size: 3.13 Acres
On Redfin: 1 day
Property Type: Residential, Detached, Single Family
Stories: 2
Community: Inverness
MLS#: 21307625
Style: Contemporary
View: Bay, Hills
County: Marin

Bank Owned Bargain! Classic views of Tomales Bay and the countryside beyond from this two level home with three beds and two baths upstairs, and one bed, bath and living room downstairs with separate entrance. Don’t miss the loft storage areas too! Nestled on over three acres, this home needs a little TLC to be a perfect retreat, ideally located near the Point Reyes National Seashore. Don’t miss out on this wonderful opportunity!

Ideally located! But when the front Image Is of anything other than the Indicated Inhabitance, there’s a reason for the Inhibition. And speaking of the Impossible to Itemize letter X, just look what’s In the sky In both these Images.

Do you need more Impetus to buy this house Immediately? The Zestimate is $962K, while eppraisal comes In at an Illustrious $1.15 million!

Inquire now and Indulge In the Instant equity for Infinity!

Just because we’re doing the Blogging from A to Z Challenge doesn’t mean we Have to Hold off our Hallowed Habits. One of them is that we welcome contributions from our readers. Heck, we Harangue our readers if they don’t play along. So, today we are Heaving up another letter of the alphabet, and Having a different poster Handle it.

We Hope you enjoy today’s Happening post from Burbed reader bublidoo!  Please give bublidoo a Healthy, Hot Real Bay Area Homecoming with today’s Holy $#*@! House.

1161 Highland Ter
Fremont, CA 94539
$5,493,000

6 Beds
9.5 Baths
9,967 Sq. Ft.
$551 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2009
Lot Size: 1.64 Acres
On Redfin: 79 days
Type: Detached
Stories 2
Community: Mission
MLS#: 40601026
Style: Custom
View: Bay, City Lights, Hills, Panoramic, Pasture, Ridge, San Francisco, Water
County: Alameda

Panoramic View, Custom Home, Like Living in Taj Mahal, Elevator, 6 Bedrooms-9.5 Bathrooms, Banquet Hall w/ Stage-Seat over 100, All Bedrooms have Full Bathrooms, $150,000 /Crystal Lights and Chandeliers, Stainless Steel Garage & Exterior Doors, Credit Available for Personalizing Your Finishing Touch.

Let’s Hear from bublidoo Her/Himself!

Figured eventually you’ll get to H.

This has got to be the butt-ugliest way to spend nearly 5.5 Million bucks. HDR [check] Cawlumns [check]. Granite on the wall [check]. More bathrooms than bedrooms [check] "Living like in Taj Mahal" [check]. Yeah, that’s right … sooooo much bling it makes a baroque castle look sparse.

But the HDR … OMG, the HDR! The first pic … OMG, seriously, I thought it’s so synthetic looking it must be from a first person shooter or something. This has gotta be the highest DR evar.

More pictures Here, because you gotta Have some kawlums!

Properties featured on Burbed can be one of several things.  They can be the classic ridiculously high-priced crapbox, which is our bread, butter, and without so much rat in it.  There’s your basic eye-popping completely-overdone-for-the-neighborhood McMansion.  There’s your that’s-not-eclectic-that’s-just-WTF white elephant that doubles as a falling knife.

Today’s property seems to fit into that third category. Thanks very much to longtime Burbed reader sonarrat, back with more Bay Area Real Estate Win!  And speaking of Realty Win, today’s winner is also Movoto because Redfin is on the blink and wouldn’t load this listing up.  (Or maybe they blocked us because they’re sick of our whining about those trackbacks.)

15950 Blackberry Hill Rd
Los Gatos, CA 95030
$4,095,888

Loan Payment: $14,260/mo
Bedrooms: 5
Bathrooms: 4&1/2
Size: 5,700 sqft
$/Sqft: $718/sqft
Type: Single Family House
Year Built: 2010
Lot Size: 1
Days on Movoto: 44 days
MLS#: 81301292
Status: Active

CUSTOM GATED ESTATE. NEWER CONSTRUCTION. NEVER LIVED IN. MAIN HOUSE: 4,500 SF. 1,033 GUEST HSE. HIGH-END FINISHES. SMART HOUSE; DIGITAL EVERYTHING. VEGAS STYLE PEBBLE TEC POOL W/LED LIGHTS & H20FALLS! AMAZING UNOBSTRUCTED VIEWS: SF TO SJ FOOTHILLS. CHEF’S KITCHEN, VIKING APLS. HIGH CEILINGS. 3 CAR GARAGE. RESORT PROPERTY. *AMPLE* FLAT; MORE FLAT LAND THAN YOU THINK! 1.5 MILES TO DWNTWN. LG SCHOOLS

And here’s why sonarrat checks in with this property:

Los Gatos – $4 million, Ghostbusters pool.  Built in 2010, never lived in. Is it any wonder?

Is the house also infested with ectoplasmic residue, or is all telekinetic activity confined to the pool?  Also for some reason Movoto doesn’t provide the lot size.  Per Zillow, it’s 87,120 sq ft, sufficient to snag an acreage tag.

BUNUS: Dude Hanging Out (DHO) in listing photo #20, admiring *AMPLE* FLAT; MORE FLAT LAND THAN YOU THINK!

More importantly, who wants another $100M property enough to put up with a sales condition like this?  Thanks very much to Burbed reader nomadic for alerting us to yet another nine-digit property.

Estate and Lands of De Guigne
Undisclosed Address in Hillsborough, CA
$100,000,000

To the south of the Golden Gate Bridge, large parcels of land are rare. Located half-way between San Francisco and the Silicon Valley in the bucolic Town of Hillsborough, an approximately 16,000 sqft. Mediterranean-styled, Bliss and Faville mansion is positioned on approximately 47-acres which have been owned for 150 years by one family. Decorated by celebrated interior designer Anthony Hail, the mansion interiors encompass elegant and ornate public rooms, which evoke the sophistication and grandeur of a bygone era. Grand-scale Ballroom, Living Room, Library and Pavilion are aligned to open to a Pool Courtyard, revealing sweeping views of San Francisco and the East Bay. Formal gardens and park-like grounds adjoin dozens of undeveloped acres surrounding the mansion, providing ultimate privacy and security. Timeless, sophisticated and elegant, the deGuigné Estate represents a rare opportunity to own one of California’s few remaining mansions surrounded by substantial acreage near an urban center.

Yadda yadda big yadda yadda acreage yadda yadda old yadda yadda history yadda yadda expensive.

Oh, and Mr. De Guigne isn’t leaving this house alive. Literally.  You buy this house, and you have to wait for him to croak before you can move in.

This, by the way, seems to be Plan B.  Plan A was when he tried subdividing the heck out of the place in 2009, which did not endear him to his neighbors. And he did that because he had an expensive divorce to finance.  Also the house cost much more to run than he got living off his investments, the poor dear.

Also, we likely found an actual address, because this sure looks like the entrance: 60 Glenbrook Drive.  Note the road going from Glenbrook to the Big House.  While the property records indicate a smaller home, the lot is 10,000,000 square feet on Zillow, or 227 acres.  The listed house is probably a gatehouse/caretaker’s cottage.

This is also your Open Thread. Going to look an any Open Houses as spacious as this?

Sometimes we run across some terrific properties where the listing is canceled before we can feature it. And as long as we can still find the information online somewhere, we’ll still share it with our fans.  Today’s featured home spent more than TWO YEARS waiting for a suitor and finally went home from the Ball, alone and dejected.  But now the housing bubble is back, at least in the Real Bay Area.  So we’re hoping to see this house on the market again Real Soon Now.

125 Northgate St
Woodside, CA 94062
$9,999,500

Loan Payment: $35,366/mo
Bedrooms: 6
Bathrooms: 8
Size: 16,900 sqft
$/Sqft: $591/sqft
Type: Single Family House
Year Built: 1934
Lot Size: 124,973
Days on Movoto: 755 days
Neighborhood: Woodside Heights
MLS#: 81054806
Status: Cancelled

BOARDER OF ATHERTON! LOS LOMITAS SCHOOLS! 2.89 ACRES! OVER 17,000 SAUARE FEET! The Buck Estate. Designed by noted architect Albert Farr, who modeled Buck after Hampton Court in Middlesex, England, a 16th century royal family residence. Brick & stucco cut stone, high Gothic arches, slate roof,& bay views. Ornate plaster details, beautiful rooms of original carved wood panelling.

Wait a minute, this place looks very familiar.

And the current listing photos on Movoto are exactly the same as the ones from almost two years ago. What isn’t the same is the price.  Looks like this charming cottage took a 22% haircut before leaving the barber’s chair.  Let’s have another look inside.

These pictures look way worse blown up larger (click ‘em!). And now that any fool can take HDR photos on an iPhone, maybe this is all we should expect.  After all it is the BOARDER OF ATHERTON.

Today’s featured property is brought to you by Burbed reader wahnny.  It’s perfect for a quick little mini-vacay, because it’s an easy drive from Google, Facebook, Apple, or wherever you should be working this weekend.  Just plop down the cash (easily found behind the couch cushions or by redeeming a couple of stock options), pitch your tent, and enjoy!  Plus, you could build a house on it!

2155 Tucker
Scotts Valley, CA 95066
$140,000

— Beds
— Baths
— Sq. Ft.
Built: —
Lot Size: 4.74 Acres
On Redfin: 9 days
Property Type: Residential Land (Single Family)
Community: Scotts Valley North
MLS#: 81304038
View: Mountains
County: Santa Cruz

Perfect vacation spot with a self sufficient little cabin. Off the grid with spring fed water. A wonderful tree house, a zip line, a foot bridge PLUS your own beach on Soquel Creek (year round water) Great place to get away, enjoy the peace and quiet. Read a book, go for a hike, let you kids enjoy the the outdoors! Can’t see a neighbor who you all share in the road maintenance.

Here’s why wahnny sent in this delightful home away from home (that is, if by home, we actually meant a place that doesn’t have a house for grown-ups on site).

Just came across this offbeat/offgrid Scotts Valley getaway.  What an interesting use of children, to help sell property.  And deep in the woods no less!

Unlike the "mini-San Simeon" property, this one actually has a zip line, as well as other fun structures (cabin, treehouse), and isn’t as far from civilization/paved roads.  And it has "beach" access (to the creek) too!

Given its relative proximity to the RBA, relative RBA pricing, and r3ltrd copyspeak, it’s quite clear who this would appeal to!

Every rule we’ve ever heard about staging a property for sale says to take family photos out of the house, because the buyers want to visualize themselves in the house. If they see pictures of your family, then that makes it harder for them to see themselves living there.  Obviously either the agent never heard of this rule, or she has some really obstinate sellers.  Why?  This property features a bunch of family snaps instead of the usual listing photos.

And whoever’s idea this was, they really want you to admire the family.  The pictures of the grounds that left the wife and kiddies out are not the sharpest prints in the drawer. 

Just wait until you meet “can’t see a neighbor who you all share in the road maintenance.”  We double dog dare you to share in the road maintenance with someone you can’t see.

Bunus: Be sure to check out the listing history.

Extra-super-bunus: Last sale (at $190K in 2007) and the older photos are still available for your viewing pleasure.  You can tell this one on the right is from the old set, because it’s actually focused.

Today’s building is not only in soooo prestigious Woodside (home of the record-breaking $117.5 million property sale), it’s got a look that makes it so much more than merely a trophy home.  Plus it’s just steps away from cosmopolitan Redwood City!  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for this superb structure.

240 CINNABAR Rd
Woodside, CA 94062
$14,800,000

4 Beds
5 Baths
8,669 Sq. Ft.
$1,707 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1991
Lot Size: 3.01 Acres
On Redfin: 131 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 3
Community: Woodside Hills
MLS#: 81235457
Style: Contemporary
View: Bay, City Lights
County: San Mateo

MODERN HIGH-TECH HOME ON 3+ PRIVATE ACRES WITH SWEEPING VIEWS OF SF BAY, EAST BAY HILLS & STANFORD. 2-STORY LR W/ WALLS OF GLASS ORIENTED TOWARD THE VIEW; FLOATING STAIRCASE, FULLY CUSTOMIZED LIBRARY AND OFFICE; 4 BED PLUS 2 MULTI-ROOM APTS; ELEVATOR; 21 KW SOLAR SYSTEM, UNDERGROUND GARAGE; 12′ CEILINGS IN BASEMENT; GROUNDS W/ INFINITY POOL, SPA, TERRACES, PLAYGROUND, PUTTING GREEN, FIREPIT

12’ CEILINGS IN BASEMENT? Unless there’s a squash court in there, why would you need the basement floors so deep?  Was this a former mausoleum but they’re just not copping to it?

And have a good look at the aerial shot: as PG so aptly notes, all those smaller lots are Redwood City in your backyard.  Don’t worry, despite bordering your property, they can’t get to your street.

It’s the FLOATING STAIRCASE that scares them away.