How much should land in the Real Bay Area cost, when they aren’t making any more of it?  It’s hard to tell, as most of it is already covered with houses.  But today’s featured property, courtesy of Burbed reader Michael Boltonestater, may help us get an idea.  All together now: Mountain View, so close to Google!

344 BRYANT Ave
Mountain View, CA 94040
$4,400,000

3 Beds 
1 Baths 
1,216 Sq. Ft.
$3,618 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1953 
Lot Size: 0.93 Acres 
On Redfin: 1 day
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Grant
MLS#: 81301915
Style: Traditional, Cottage/Bungalow
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara

3BR/1BA WITH SPACIOUS KITCHEN OVERLOOKING YARD. FEATURES INCLUDE LIVING ROOM WITH REFINISHED HARDWOOD FLOORS, INSIDE LAUNDRY ROOM WITH PANTRY, & APPROVED PLANS FOR REMODEL/EXPANSION INTO SPACIOUS ATTIC AREA. POSSIBLE 4 LOT SUBDIVISION ON APPROXIMATELY 40,000SF LOT (. 93 ACRES). OUTSTANDING DEVELOPMENT OPTIONS WITH ACCESS FROM BRYANT FILOMENA COURT. IDEALLY LOCATED IN WELL ESTABLISHED NEIGHBORHOOD.

You know the agent is just phoning this one in to long list of OPPORTUNITY-minded investors. Otherwise, this house with all its expansion plans could have easily been featured instead of just an aerial shot.  Heck, Google even managed to find something once we realized the Redfin map was pointing to the wrong place (over at Beaumont and Apricot, and wonder why that happened, huh?)

Also look at this very odd cul-de-sac that abuts the property (right underneath the lot on the lower right).  Looks like it only culled half de sac.

So, do you think land in Mountain View in a good zip without the good schools is worth a million for a quarter acre?  Can you make money as a developer when your land costs are that high?  New homes in nearby Enclave at Waverly Park development (the old Pumpkin Patch property) went for $2M+, but they built 53 big houses there.  Hard to get economies of scale when this lot will support four of them.

Perhaps the third time’s a charm for this huge investment opportunity. The buyer is sticking to this price regardless of which agent has the deal.

Burbed got its start almost seven years ago, featuring very expensive houses in very questionable locations in very poor repair.  But housing win isn’t all crapboxes and open potties and questionable listing copy.  Sometimes there’s much to enjoy with a premium listing as well.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader SMParkster for following up on a fantabulous feudal feast!

331 GREER Rd
Woodside, CA 94062
$85,000,000

9 Beds 
8.5 Baths 
9,000 Sq. Ft.
$9,444 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1946 
Lot Size: 91.94 Acres 
On Redfin: 60 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 2
Community: Central Woodside
MLS#: 81241344
Style: Colonial
View: Mountains, Lake
County: San Mateo

LANDMARK PROPERTY NEVER BEFORE ON THE MARKET. PROPERTY CONSISTS OF 3 PARCELS—PARCEL #072-052-020 51.04 ACRES. .PARCEL #072-052-260 39.40 ACRES AND PARCEL #072-072-010 1.5 ACRES TOTALING APPROX 91.94 ACRES. .BORDERED ON ONE SIDE BY HUDDART PARK, GLORIOUS LAND W/ ROLLING OAK-STUDDED HILLS OPEN MEADOWS & ENDLESS VIEWS. CIRCA 1941 COLONIAL ESTATE HOME, GATEHOUSE & CARETAKER’S COTTAGE. WOODSIDE SCHOOL

Wait, this place looks familiar.

Flood estate in Woodside is for sale… $85 million.  Perfect example of why Prop 13 needs to go…. the most recent property tax was under $8000. 

That estate doesn’t look flooded at all, but we admit we didn’t check all 92 acres of it.  Maybe that lake used to be the golf course. 

And what’s this “On Redfin 60 days”?  SM sent this in four months ago.  When we went to check the listing history for further hints, we found only an MLS listing entry from November, plus an announcement that the seller didn’t want any estimates of the property’s value, so no links to any of the automated home valuation websites would be provided.

Like this one.

They’re awfully sensitive about any of you finding out that you could rent this place out for $6500 a month instead of Buying It Now for $85M.  As the agent helpfully points out, “You never see this kind of land.”

The median Home Value in Mountain View, according to Zillow, is $877,900.  So what could you get for that amount, if you looked for a house in some other part of the country?  If you were willing to look in Maryland, you could get this nice painting of a house.  Plus HOA fees every month!

LOT 10, STURBRIDGE
Brookville, MD 20833
$852,900

Ownership Type : Fee Simple
Bedrooms : 4
Type : Detached
Full Bathrooms : 3
Status : Active
Half Bathrooms : 1
List Date : 09/25/2011
Square feet : 4500
Days on Market : 468
Price per sq. ft : $189
Status Date : 09/25/2011
Approx Lot Size (Acres) : 1.0
Price : $852,900
Approx Lot Size (Sq.Ft.) : 43560
Location : BROOKEVILLE MD 20833
Year Built : 2012

HOA Fee : $500.00 Annually
Elementary School : BUSHY PARK
ADC map : 8J12
Middle School : GLENWOOD
Advertised Subdivision : RIVERCREST IN HOWARD COUNTY
High School : GLENELG
DESCRIPTION
Short Sale : No

Remarks : ASK ABOUT OUR SPECIAL INCENTIVES! MASTER LISTING – “STURBRIDGE” LOT 10, OTHER LOTS AVAIL FROM $892,900. SCENIC, 1 ACRE WOODED HOMESITES OVERLOOKING CATTAIL CREEK! CUSTOMIZATION & STATE OF THE ART ENERGY EFFICIENCY INCL IN EVERY HOME! OTHER HOME DESIGNS AVAIL OR CUSTOM BUILD. MODEL OPEN DAILY 10AM-5PM @ 2836 MILLERS WAY DRIVE, ELLICOTT CITY, MD 21043.

Internet Remarks : ASK ABOUT OUR SPECIAL INCENTIVES! MASTER LISTING – “STURBRIDGE” LOT 10, OTHER LOTS AVAIL FROM $892,900. SCENIC, 1 ACRE WOODED HOMESITES OVERLOOKING CATTAIL CREEK! CUSTOMIZATION & STATE OF THE ART ENERGY EFFICIENCY INCL IN EVERY HOME! OTHER HOME DESIGNS AVAIL OR CUSTOM BUILD. MODEL OPEN DAILY 10AM-5PM @ 2836 MILLERS WAY DRIVE, ELLICOTT CITY, MD 21043.

Holy crap, that’s a lot of CAPITAL LETTERS for the same price you’d pay in Mountain View.  Plus you get a house that hasn’t even been built yet, so you have no idea of the build quality or the feng shui.  And just think of how much work it’s going to be mowing an entire acre or dusting 4500 sf of house.

For this much money in Mountain View, you’d be looking at a vintage one bedroom from 1948,on a 6969 sf foot lot (we’re just reporting the listing, we’re not making innuendos). It boasts a spacious 914 foot floor plan.  Plus the comparable Maryland place, while near such cosmopolitan confluences like Laytonsville,is 2831 miles from Google (we checked).  In current traffic that’s a whizzy 41 hour commute.  One way.

Also, no HOA fees for vintage homes in Mountain View.

Bunus: The home in Maryland was never featured on Burbed, either.  And homes in Maryland, whether or not they’re built, don’t go up $125K in just five months.  Or down $50K at the exact same time. 

We hope you had a wonderful winter whatever and got all the toys you asked for.  But just in case you didn’t, we have some close-out specials for the end of the year!  Today, Burbed reader J from Alameda has some Island High Style for you.

828 LINCOLN Ave
Alameda, CA 94501
$249,000

1 Beds
1 Baths
561 Sq. Ft.
$444 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1959
Lot Size: 1,275 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 76 days
Status: Active
Type: Detached
Stories: 1
County: Alameda
Style: Cottage
Community: Alameda
MLS#: 40592515

MOST UNIQUE NARROW BLDG. 150 FEET DEEP, FENCED IN LOT, BACKYARD PATIO, RESIDENTIAL (NEW ZONING R-4 RESIDENTIAL) POSSIBLE ART STUDIO PLUS GALLERY, LIVING IN AND WORK ON COMPUTERS, ANOTHER POSSIBILITY, SO MANY POSSIBILITIES OF HOME OFFICES. CLOSE TO BUS AND ALL TRANSPORTATION AND NEAR WEBSTER STREET.

Here’s why J thought we’d be interested in this offering:

My Alameda black Friday nomination. Do not be fooled by first photo – its the narrow yellow building to the right. On a very busy street, not a great part of town. That maybe, just maybe, can be zoned commercial.

Happy Shopping!

Wait, Black Friday was last month…. oh, this was sent in last month.  That says we can’t possibly be in the RBA, because it’s still on the market!  So hurry before it isn’t!

And if you have any doubts that this listing is “MOST UNIQUE” at least the lot itself is.

Bunus: the broker has the same name as a famous television personality.  Double Bunus: also the same name as a VP at Alain Pinel, Saratoga, just to really confuse the customers.  (Plus 3 more real estate agents in California alone.)

Happy Thanksgiving!  Sorry today’s house is late, as we were up all night prepping for a Burbed Feast.  Did you know how difficult it is to cut up the Real Bay Area into Census districts of half inch cubes without crossing any zip codes?

Now on to our entree. Today’s house was sent in by one of its former owners, a Burbed reader who wishes to remain anonymous.  Can’t imagine why!

361 Ardis Ave
San Jose, CA 95117 
Price:  $555,000

Loan Payment:  $1,902/mo
Bedrooms:  4
Bathrooms:  3
Size:  2,943 sqft
$/Sqft:  $188/sqft
Type:  Single Family House
Year Built:  1951
Lot Size:  9,424
Days on Movoto:  547 days
Sold Date:  05/31/11
MLS#:  81123441
Status:  Sold for $535,000

Contractors special-Huge Lot w/ Unlimited Potential. Build your Dream Home near Santana Row/Valley Fair.

Here’s what our unnamed fan has to say about today’s main course:

The house that keeps on giving.. Yes I was one of the people who lost money on this West Valley Brigadoon. The person who bought it from me, never did one thing he said, just held it and turned it for my profit… This wreck has been untouched through 4 sales…

Will the next buyer be able to rehab this behemoth???

Bad houses happen to good people :-0

This house was sent in just a week and a half ago, but the usually suspect real estate sites have it marked as sold already.  Either our correspondent just noticed his/her old place changed hands after almost two years on the market, or there’s a more recent listing we’re not finding.

Hey, Redfin, pass the white meat!  Click on through if you’re joining us from the front page.  The table is groaning.

(more…)

It’s been several days since we last featured a property in Mountain View, and that means every one that’s been sent in has gone Pending!  Here’s one of them you can no longer buy because you weren’t phoning your agent every single minute.

2343 Craig Ct
Mountain View, CA 94043
Price:  $835,000

Loan Payment:  $2,798/mo
Bedrooms:  3
Bathrooms:  2
Size:  1,104 sqft
$/Sqft:  $756/sqft
Type:  Single Family House
Year Built:  1955
Lot Size:  8,000
Days on Movoto:  18 days
Neighborhood:  Thompson
MLS#:  81239158
Status:  Pending – Do Not Show
Go See This Home Make an Offer

 

* DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH!* ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES!* EICHLER STYLE HOME BOASTS HIGH CEILINGS & LARGE WINDOWS FOR PLENTY OF SUNSHINE!*TERRIFIC FLOORPLAN W/ SEPERATE DINING AREA*INSIDE LAUNDRY*LIVING ROOM W/ FIREPLACE* COVERED PATIO*LARGE BACKYARD PERFECT FOR SUMMER BBQ’S!*ACROSS FROM MONTA LOMA ELEMENTARY & MINUTES AWAY FROM GOOGLE, SHOPPING & FREEWAYS! WITH A LITTLE TLC THIS CAN BE THE PERFECT HOME!*

The only thing this house is missing is a million dollar price tag.  It’s got everything else: eye-catching facade, listing pix pulled off Redfin and most of the other major sites (thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster for Movoto!), ALL CAPS in the listing copy, along with a misused apostrophe and ENDLESS exclamation points!!!!!!

Bunus: Date stamps on the photos, too.  The only thing left to do is place your bets how high the winning overbid comes in at.

If you haven’t already sent in your absentee ballot, today is the day for you to vote.  There’s a clutch of candidates who made speeches and some of them are going to get elected.  Burbed has not endorsed any specific candidates, but we have a guide to the state propositions based on how much each would increase the value of your house.

Now, here’s the house we’d vote for if it were on the ballot.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader MJ for nominating it!

1430 South Wolfe Road
Sunnyvale CA 94087
$728,888

Bedrooms: 3
Bathrooms: 2
175 days on Trulia
33 views
Property type: Single-Family Home
Size: 1,768 sqft
Lot: Ask agent
Price/sqft: $412/sqft
Year built: 1949
MLS/ID: 81218044

REGULAR SALE, NOT A SHORT SALE!!!NOT A SHORT SALE!!! NEWLY REMODELED PROPERTY!!! 1,768 SQ FT. GRANITE COUNTER TOPS, NEW BRAZILIAN CHERRY CABINETRY, NEW CARPETING IN ALL THE BEDROOMS, MARBLE IN BATHROOMS & HALLWAY, HOUSE IS IN A GREAT LOCATION. CONVENIENT ACCESS TO HWY 280, 85 AND LAWRENCE EXPY. IN OTHER WORDS A TURNKEY HOME FOR YOUR BUYER.

Here’s MJ’s nominating speech.

I’ve read the blog for a while but never felt compelled to send anything in. Until now. I believe I found a home with every Burbed cliche. It is a crapshack. It has a sweet price history, quadrupling in price in fourteen years, eights in the listing price, garage converted to “living unit with two bedrooms and a kitchen”, awful location on a busy road (though oddly the listing copy mentions its proximity to a different busy road), seven photos of the stove, and insane listing copy noting twice it isn’t a short sale. It even has DHO, see the reflection in the patio door.

I don’t feel like I can take credit for this. The realtor really deserves it all.

Oh it gets better. My wife found out it come with Sunnyvale utilities but Santa Clara schools, four Redfin agent comments, and the first shot is a Google street view. We really have hit every Burbed cliche except pink house.

But was it a former meth lab?  Got ya there, huh?

MJ sent us a link to Redfin, which was perfectly fine when we checked it out a couple of days ago, but this is what we see now.  Another Burbed cliche, the listing got pulled the day we wanted to write it up.  Fortunately it’s still on almost every other real estate site (for now), so we’re going to grab those pictures while the grabbing is good.

Whoa, how’s this for a cliche?  Search for the house by address, click on the Trulia listing, and get the wrong house in the wrong town.  We swear we’re not making this up, but the Google link to the house was sending us to 1395 Jefferson in Santa Clara.  Whew!

At least the Redfin comments are still there, even if the 24 photos were taken down.  See some of what you missed, after the break.

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It’s always good news at Burbed when we hear from a new reader, because we’re sure driving away plenty of old ones!  Today’s find is from Burbed reader peninsula.man.  We’ll assume that non-standard use of punctuation isn’t a periodic mistake but a software.language.habit.

Also today’s property comes from MLSListings, as we continue our Tour of Various Online Listing Websites Because We’re Annoyed That Redfin Stopped Linking To Us Just Because We Hurt Some Realtards’ Fee-Fees.

1645 HICKS AVE
San Jose, CA 95125
$625,000

Active Contingent
Type: Single Family Home
MLS #: ML81233836
SqFt: 1,133
Beds:  2
Lot Size:  7,380 SqFt
Baths:  1 Full
Year / Age:  1947 / 65

AN INCREDIBLE HOME IN WILLOW GLEN! FANTASTIC LOCATION ON GORGEOUS STREET! BEAUTIFUL MOULDING AND FIREPLACE** Flagstone walkway.. ENJOY YOUR COFFEE ON THE SIDE YARD PATIO/DECKING ** lARGE 2 CAR GARAGE W/ COVERED BREEZEWAY to house** NEW AIR CONDITIONER AND FURNACE***NEWER COMPOSITION ROOF*** AWESOME PROPERTY!

Active Contingent? What does that mean in English?  The house is for sale but somebody has dibs on it?

Anyway, here’s why p.man thought this house was worth our collective whiles:

i REALLY DO NOT THINK THE CAPITAL LETTERS CHANGE THAT THIS HOUSE IS A MATCH BOX! FOR 625K!!!!! sfdkjbdlskjfnlk dsjnfkljsdnlkfjnsdlk LKDFNLDKFJNG LKJDFN LGKJNDF LKJNDGFLKJNFDLK

I bet he says that to all the girls.

Besides, look at this amazing living room.  All the SHOUTING CAPITAL LETTERS in the LISTING COPY are all about drinking coffee OUTSIDE.  Why isn’t the agent singing the praises of the living room and the kitchen (above)?  The former is so evocative of a sunrise, and the kitchen responds with a sunset.  Or maybe the agent messed up the white balance.

We’ll leave it up to our readers to tell us what this shot at right is saying.  But one thing that comes to mind is we’re so glad this shooter aimed high.

Also this may be the only property we were sent in 6 months that claimed to be in Willow Glen and actually was in Willow Glen.

898 TULLY Rd
San Jose, CA 95111
$1,300,000

Do you love Instagram pictures? Do they help you make an emotional connection to the subject?

Guess what – now we can combine all the things you love! Realtor photos, soft focus, distortions, and other filters!

Just look at this photo above. What emotions does this evoke for you? Does it make you feel better about spending $765 per square foot for this house?

We haven’t had any Willow Glen properties in a while, or even not-really-in-Willow Glen-but-claiming-to-be listings.  Today’s featured home was sent to us by bmwman91.  Thanks very much for this #winning not-Willow Glen wonder.

2143 GLENKIRK Dr
San Jose, CA 95124
$975,000

BEDS:  4
BATHS:  2.5
SQ. FT.:  2,344
$/SQ. FT.:  $416
LOT SIZE:  8,288 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Ranch
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT:  1964
COMMUNITY:  Willow Glen
COUNTY:  Santa Clara
MLS#:  81224337
SOURCE:  MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN:  33 days

REG Sale. LOCATION LOCATION! Needs some cosmetic updates , JUST A BIKE RIDE TO DOWNTOWN WILLOW GLEN. Upgrades Include: CUSTOM CROWN MOLDING, NEW PAINT, REFNSHD WOOD FLRS, 6 BURNER GAS RANGE STNLSS STEEL DSHWSHR, TRSH COMPCTR, TILED FLR. BATH W/ TILE FLOORS & JETTED TUB. FURNACE & CENT AIR apprx 12 YRS OLD. , COMP ROOF apprx 14 YRS. , AUTO SPRINKLERS.

Here’s why bmwman91 shared this house with us:

[The owners] are clearly savvy about cashing in on some of the instant equity that the last seller left hidden in the medicine cabinet in 2005, by listing it for $145k more than was paid for it at the peak. Maybe they need the extra cash to buy some furniture.

Since when was 2005 the peak?  This place might have topped out in 2006, easy!  But we agree about the furniture.  That table sure gets around!

One thing we aren’t sure about is what neighborhood this house is in, but it sure is not Willow Glen.  Google maps isn’t really helping, as it seems to have this house in a neighborhood dead zone.

There’s a few more names that pop up as you zoom in, but nothing for the area bounded by Hamilton, Leigh, Curtner, and Meridian.  We’re going to go with Cambrian with Campbell-San Jose as a second choice.  Maybe even Dry Creek.  But Willow Glen?  We don’t think so, unless it’s this not-Willow Glen neighborhood called “Willow Glen South Lincoln Glen.”  You know, where they have to point out it’s a REG Sale.

So readers, your job is to explain why this not-in-Willow Glen house is worth $145K more than it was in 2005.  Be sure to support your answer by referring to this fine example of a listing photo.