April 1, 2013

Always Advance All Alliances: Almaden

BlogAtoZ-AToday is the first day of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge, so we’ll Abjure their Authorized Arms And Affirm our Abecedarian Attempt. And we Aspire to give A tip of the Aviator’s cap to Arlee Bird for Activating this Affair, with over 1700 blogs Associated!  Most All of them Aren’t in the Real Bay Area, so while we Advocate your Auditing Any and All, you Aren’t Accountable to Acquire Any properties.

We’re delighted to be part of this Amazing Alliance!  Now on to today’s Apt Acreage.

130331-almaden-redfin6792 ALMADEN Rd
San Jose, CA 95120
$865,000

5 Beds
3 Baths
2,704 Sq. Ft.
$320 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1969
Lot Size: 7,169 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 13 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
View: Neighborhood
County": Santa Clara
Stories: 2
Community: Almaden Valley
MLS#: 81308508

Large 5 bedroom Almaden home with swimming pool, corner lot. Top Almaden Schools: Graystone, Bret Harte & Leland. Property is Lender-Owned, being sold "AS-IS, " US Bank makes no representations or warranties. US Bank financing available. All US Bank loans to be approved by US Bank. .

US Bank may make no representations, but we Aim to. Zillow says this house is worth $1.1 million, which might Account for why the bank sat on its collective Ass for An Absolute Annum After they foreclosed. That means $250 thousand of Alleged instant equity for you, the buyer! What Are you Anticipating?  You Assume every listing has an Attractive Appearance by Instagram?

Arrive in your Automobile, And Ask your Agent to Arrange for An Attractive Advance deposit! Actung!  This Allotment is still Active! And that Aerial Aspect sure is Attractive!  Remember, Abode, Address, Area!

130331-almaden-aerial

And… do you think we’re going to Adjust the daily Alphabet in All of the 25 Afterward Articles? Absolutely not. April Fool!

Comments (5) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:04 am






April 1, 2012

New Directions: A Serious Post

While Burbed remains a highly valued and award-winning website, our readership levels have been dropping even faster than home prices in places outside the Real Bay Area.  Clearly it’s time to take some serious stock of what this site is for, what it’s trying to do, and whether to set some new goals.

120331-red-flagThe Problem: Burbed was created to show the insanely high housing prices for insanely poor quality homes in the Bay Area.  Today, as long as you’re not looking too close to Google, Facebook, or whatever neighborhood in San Francisco is trendy this week, you can find nicer properties at some of the most affordable prices since the 20th century ended.   Meeting our mission is difficult and increasingly irrelevant.

120331-green-checkThe Solution: People want guidance on how to buy or sell a home without any game playing.  What few readers we have left have learned to be wary of agents, but trust us completely.  Therefore, effective immediately, Burbed will stop pointing and laughing at badly marketed homes, when we could make a lot more money buying and selling them.

120331-univ-sonarThat’s right.  We are now, starting today, Open for Your Business!  That means we won’t be bad-mouthing real estate professionals, showing homes with poorly-maintained property or messy rooms, or cracking wise on unrealistic asking 120331-stjoseph-homesaleprices.  And in the current real estate market, the sky is the limit on asking prices, so who are we to object?

List your home with us and we’ll get it out to the customers who would otherwise never read real estate ads.  Hire our team of informed and lively agents to find you the perfect place to live in, while entertaining you during the drive from one house to another.  (Some of them even own vehicles with room for more than one other rider!)

120331-dranoPlease patronize all our brand new sponsors you see on this page.  You’ll be seeing a lot more ads for them and other exciting products and services, throughout the site as our new business 120331-ge-llight-bulbsmodel takes shape.  Things are going to get very exciting around here, so we may have to limit comments if there are any difficulties.

Thanks again for visiting Burbed.  Often.  And remember, Now is the Time to Buy or Sell a House!

WITH US.


Comments (12) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 4:01 am

April 1, 2011

Burbed to be Acquired by Redfin

We’ve got some big changes coming, folks.

burbed by redfin

redfin logoSEATTLE, WA – April 1st, 2011 – Redfin, the internet-savvy online real estate firm, has announced an agreement to acquire the award-winning Silicon Valley real estate site Burbed and all its subsidiaries.  Redfin CEO Glenn Kelman explained at an industry conference that their strategy of thinking outside the box meant they had to wander further than most people expected.  “Customers appreciate our online tools and our agents who work on salary, plus our rebating part of the commission back to the customer,” he explained in an interview with Instant Equity Today.  “But we’ve pretty much maxed out on finding clients who know they want to buy property.  Those people tend to come to us.  Now we’re going to find the people who say they don’t won’t to buy.  We’ve found if we can identify those people and give them the right message, they tend to spend even more than the motivated buyer.”

Burbed mastheadBurbed, based in the renowned Gables’ End complex in Mountain View, CA, has generated quite a following among home aficionados who love to criticize the excesses of the housing market. “Anyone who would buy in this environment must be smoking something,” opined one regular commenter on the site.  The typical fare found on Burbed features home listings that few would consider desirable.  Part of the site’s appeal is its ability to demonstrate how out of whack pricing is with current market reality, although there is also a strong interest in seeing just how bad some of the offered property can be.  And Redfin couldn’t help but notice that all Burbed listings come direct from Redfin’s search tools.

image“Yesterday they had this place that a tree fell on,” enthused a regular reader in Gilroy, home of the internationally famous Gilroy Garlic Festival.  The listing had three pictures of this house completely crushed by this humongous dead tree.  Timber!”  Other regulars described the typical Burbed listing as either an overpriced “crapbox,” or a house with no visual appeal whatsoever, or an even more overpriced house with serious flaws the seller was blind to.

Kelman said such strong passions among Burbed’s readership indicate a desire to own a house, and Redfin will find a way to get those people locked into imagediscount-priced mortgages (also sold on Redfin).  “Look, my orders are to get as many people obligated to my financial overlords for the next thirty years.  This is the best way to find people who can buy but don’t want to.  Hey, I’d prefer you not print what I just said.”

Burbed’s CEO and majority shareholder, who would not identify him/herself other than by “burbed,” admitted that the current site content creators might not enjoy working for their new owner.  “But look, they can buy a million dollar place and save $12,500.  That’s a lot more than I was paying them.”  One of the content creators, when asked to comment on the news, unleashed a stream of profanity and turned her guitar amplifier up to 11.

imageKelman also admitted part of his interest in buying the Burbed syndicate, which was accomplished via a 10% first mortgage, a 5% HELOC, and an undisclosed number of suitcases of cash, was so he could have first crack at any Real Bay Area listing featuring marble columns.  “Damn, those are some of the best houses out there.  I want one.  I want to pinch myself and say I live here!  How ridiculous is that?”

Both firms, coincidentally, were founded in February, 2006.  Burbed will move its headquarters to Seattle but maintain its RBA presence.  “I don’t’ see how we can update that RBA map if we don’t,” explained burbed, while dodging a falling piano.  A Seattle version of the Burbed site is expected by the third quarter.

Comments (23) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:05 am

April 4, 2009

The most important you need to read… ever!

Oh my! You must click the link and buy the book ASAP!

The Return of Depression Economics and the Crisis of 2008

Haha… just kidding. It’s a late April Fool’s Day joke – got ya didn’t I?

Depression smession. Have you been impacted by this downturn? Of course not! You live in the Real Bay Area. You work for a Real Bay Area company. Or you have your own. Or two!

Happy April Fools Day!

Buy the book anyway.

Comments (2) -- Posted by: burbed @ 5:40 am