Let’s finish up the week with a visit to the wonderful world of Woodside. Thanks very much to Burbed reader nomadic for this rococo residence that may have you ralphing.
110 KENMORE Way
Woodside, CA 94062
SQ. FT.: 3,460
$/SQ. FT.: $491
LOT SIZE: 1.04 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
YEAR BUILT: 1955
COMMUNITY: Woodside Hills
COUNTY: San Mateo
ON REDFIN: 21 days
Enjoy this spacious, single-level, View Contemporary features 3 Bedrooms, 3.5 Bath plus formal Library/Study, on a quiet, private cul-du-sac in the highly sought-after Woodside Hills community. Live-in, remodel to suit, or build anew to take advantage of this huge 1.04 * acre lot with sweeping western hill views. The home at its prime was featured in Architectural Digest and Gentry Magazine.
That first sentence doesn’t scan at all. It starts off telling you to enjoy the house but gets lost in panting over the features. Just because you’re spending over a million on a house doesn’t mean you should expect a realtard capable of proofing his own copy. Anyway, here’s why nomadic sent this property in:
This house isn’t that bad, but a phrase in the copy is amusing: “the home at its prime was featured in Architectural Digest and Gentry Magazine. When? I’d guess around 1960. Hmm, according to their website, Gentry Magazine (apparently a pretentious publication) was established in 1993. That hardly seems possible!
1993? Then what’s with the mermaid on the website? Splash came out in 1984, and even The Little Mermaid beat the 90s by a month and a half. But if you read the current issue online, page 5 has a much pricier place in Woodside with the same high-falutin’ terms as eBay. Yup, a minimum bid and a Buy it Now price.
Okay, back to this house. “The house isn’t that bad”? How could it be bad? It has mawbul kawlums! Some of the other photos, though, suggest someone with too much money and no understanding of the term “less is more.” Because when it comes to the photos of this house, more is definitely not more. Maybe someone should tell the agent that plastering his name prominently across every single listing photo only adds to that “gilding the gold-plated fixtures” feeling.
And that doesn’t include the utterly pedestrian street name. Look, if you have enough wealth to buy in Woodside, you do not want to live on a street that reminds you of your mother’s crappy dishwasher. Maybe you could make a donation to the Mayor’s favorite charity in return for a declaration renaming the street Miele Manor or Bosch Boulevard. If you need inspiration, start leafing through Gentry Magazine.
Coming soon! We can’t wait!