Today’s house is a Guest Post by Burbed Reader AstroWallaby!  You know how good things come in small packages?  Well today’s featured listing is only 714 square feet, so it has to be fan-fracking-tastic!  Plus a location, location, location to love, love, love!

Please give AstroWallaby a big, warm, sunny, Real Bay Area welcome as today’s Guest Blogger!

537 JACKSON St, San Jose, CA 95112
$518,000

BEDS: 2
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 725
$/SQ. FT.: $714
LOT SIZE: 5,617 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1955
COMMUNITY: Central San Jose
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81129934
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 144 days

R2 Zone. Main house with private 1500sqft warehouse/workshop. Warehouse/workshop built without permit. Tenant occupied. BIG REDUCTION. SELLER MOTIVATED

Tipping the scales at $714 per (permitted) foot this 725 square bantamweight contender for your investment dollar punches way above its weight class, as it includes a non-permitted twice-the-size-of-the-house attached warehouse!

And you’ll need it, if for no other reason than to store the grossly distended pride of ownership that comes along with buying what has to be the *shortest* house of in the neighborhood.

And with that R2 zoning you’ll be able to share that pride with the tenant that conveniently comes with the property, assuming you can convince the city to let you call whatever space is left over in your permit-impaired palace a second unit.

Listed in July for $590k, now’s your chance to steal it following a "BIG REDUCTION" to $518k. I have no idea why suddenly its "SELLER" is so "MOTIVATED" but don’t miss out on your chance to grab an extra $72k of instant equity. After all, Zillow thinks it might be worth up to $749,840!

(Ignore all the recent comps and those small-minded fools at eppraisal.com, this house is totally worth the extra $200k+. Owning your own illegal warehouse is a privilege reserved for those willing to pay for it.)

Today’s featured house and accompanying guest commentary is brought to you by Burbed reader AstroWallaby, profiling the always adventurous area of Alum Rock, San Jose!  This is a genuine go-to geographical golden goose for great Burbed goodness.

Want to see your name in lights (okay, in bold) like this?  Send in your listing wins, with (or without) your added valuable observations.  Operators are standing by!

And now, please give AstroWallaby a big, warm Real Bay Area welcome!

134 N WHITE Rd, San Jose, CA 95127
$548,000

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 999
$/SQ. FT.: $549
LOT SIZE: 6,500 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1945
COMMUNITY: Alum Rock
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81129919
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 126 days

Large Lot with workshop in the back. Tile counters in Kitchen, Pergo Flooring. Fireplace in living room. Side yard access rear. Spacious Detached garage building. ~2,000 sq ft Side lawn, Fenced and Separate from the front house. Best offer will be considered.

Speaking of dreck, here’s another "optimistic" entry from East San Jose that might be worth a laugh, if you haven’t seen it yet.

The listing at least avoids ALL CAPS, although isn’t saying " Best offer will be considered" sort of redundant when selling a house? Clearly the realtor was impressed by the interior, judging by the two magnificent Quickcam-resolution interior shots they’ve included. It’s sort of disappointing that you can’t actually tell what it trying to escape from that cabinet drawer in the kitchen, but whatever it is I hope it succeeds. As for the fireplace… I’m not sure a provocative fandance really works to increase the sex appeal of inanimate objects but I’ll give it bonus points for trying.

The shot of the empty (down to the bare dirt) backyard is interesting. It *could* be an avant-garde artistic use of negative space, but I suspect it’s more likely a counterpoint to the satellite photo which shows no fewer than nine vehicles haphazardly arranged around the property. Nothing like the Pride of Ownership which comes along with owning your own former dirt parking lot. You might even qualify for Superfund money to pay for your landscaping!

And the suggested retail price for this V-J Day-vintage 999 square foot slice of heaven/White Road? A mere $548,000. Sure, it’s a good $200k higher than any reasonable comparable but that’s a small price to pay for a fireplace with a spot-on Sally Rand impersonation.

Thanks very much to Burbed reader AstroWallaby for this amazing listing in East San Jose.  Not only does it have lots of yummy features for your approval, this is probably the first listing I’ve seen on Redfin with a typo in the address.

 

3167 andora Dr, San Jose, CA 95148
$715,000

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,564
$/SQ. FT.: $457
LOT SIZE: -
PROPERTY TYPE: Residential, Detached, Single Family
STYLE: Ranch
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1965
COMMUNITY: Santa Clara
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 21122622
SOURCE: BAREIS
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 40 days

One of the best homes on the block! Shows pride of ownership throughout, meticulously maintained. Almost everything updated and upgraded. Custom Paint throughout w/ neutral colors, raised panel doors including closets, beautiful lamiate and marble floors, updated dual pane windows, custom sink, granite shower in master bath, beautiful custom tile vanity, new appliances in kitchen, marble counters, gourmet oak cabinets. Too much to list. A must see

Here’s why AstroWallaby brought this home to our attention in comments:

Description… could be worse, although I have to wonder about “blood red” being described as a “neutral color” and there’s something about the pictures of the bathroom which cracks me up. (I think I’m picturing that white curtain opening up and revealing a packed studio audience while someone’s squatting on the pot, forcing them to immediately launch into a scatological improv routine.) On the plus side the kitchen comes with yummy “gourmet oak cabinets”. Can you eat just one?

(Perhaps their addictive cheesy crunch will drown out the sound of gunfire from White Road.)

Mostly what makes it “Burbed”-ish is the price. $715k, when even Zillow thinks the max it’s worth is $462k. (Or to put it another way, $457 a square foot in a neighborhood where the sold average is in the $300 ballpark.) Those had better darn well be *delicious* cabinets.

I want to know if either the kitchen or the bathroom has a lamiate and marble floor, myself.

And not only is this house conveniently located near all the action on South White Road, it’s also just a hop, skip and a jump next to two other terrific features of East San Jose.

No, not the liquor stores.  But it isn’t that far away from Lake Cunningham and Raging Waters, and it’s also close enough to Reid-Hilllview Airport that I’m curious why the upgrades stopped with only dual pane windows.

AstroWallaby was right on to call the place a teensy bit overpriced for the neighborhood.  The current Zestimate is $385,100, which means there are already several houses in just this little slice at left coming in higher, including the place two doors down with the $508K tag (maybe because it sold for $650K in 2005).

Perhaps it lists for so much more because, despite its location, location, location in East San Jose, the agent is purporting that it’s actually in Santa Clara.

Yeah, that would account for at least $250K of the price.  You’d get far more respect from your colleagues if you lived over there.  Then again, imagine how much more this place would list for if the realtard had taken the trouble to look up how big the lot actually is.  (6018 square feet.  Which is a lot better than, um, nothing.)

Now if only they could get that street name capitalized, the seller could probably mark it up another $50K.  I know a great place where they could pick up a few extra easy As.

Thanks very much to Burbed reader AstroWallaby for this absolutely amazing listing from the garlic fields of Gilroy!  Remember, drive a little, save a lot!

 

7256 CHURCH St, Gilroy, CA 95020
$430,000

 

BEDS: 5
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 2,193
$/SQ. FT.: $196
LOT SIZE: 9,800 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Victorian
STORIES: 2
YEAR BUILT: 1900
COMMUNITY: Morgan Hill/Gilroy/San Martin
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81139389
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 9 days

Two homes for the price of one(almost). Large two story home with 5 bedrooms and 2 baths. 2nd home was built in 2006 has modern amenities and has ally access. There is some work to be done, but this is the definition of sweat equity.

Here’s what AstroWallaby had to say about this property:

Oooh, as an aside, check out this nearby neighbor of the Gilroy house:

In particular, the aerial view. Take a nice old Victorian on a reasonably roomy lot, maybe spruce it up a bit… and then fill the entire backyard with another house. Brilliant! That’s down-south country-style livin’ for you.

Let’s have a look, then.

Wow.  Just, wow.  If only San Jose were as forward-looking as Gilroy and did away with that silly zoning code.  Not only would we have in-law units in our back-yards, we’d have apartment houses in our back yards.  Ka-ching!

But this is not the definition of sweat equity.  This is the definition of “previous owner ran out of borrowed money.”  Maybe the agent meant “the banker is breaking into a sweat over what happened to all its equity.”

Many thanks to Burbed reader AstroWallaby, for calling out today’s spectacular house in comments.  Drop by anytime, Astro, if you have more of these!

 

2450 MCLAUGHLIN Ave, San Jose, CA 95121
$1,100,000

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 1,152
$/SQ. FT.: $955
LOT SIZE: 0.83 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1935
COMMUNITY: South San Jose
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81133489
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 44 days

NEARLY 1 ACRE of LAND (36,062 SF. ) THE PROPERTY HAS LOTS OF POTENTIAL. TRUE VALUE IS IN THE LAND. “REGULAR SALE”. A very rare finding property in San Jose—nearby lots of public amenities. “REGULAR SALE”! — OPPORTUNITY !!! OPPORTUNITY !!! OPPORTUNITY !!! MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE.

Tired of living in a cooped-up apartment?  Hate hearing neighbors through walls?  Maybe you need some elbow room, and you’ll fit plenty of elbows here.  Haven’t you heard?  This is a very rare finding property.  Also the agent is USING ALL CAPS because he can’t believe this one isn’t a short sale or REO.

That means faster turnaround time for YOU to MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE because the bank won’t be throwing roadblocks at you every step of the way.  You can definitely make a lot of dreams come true with this much space, as long as your dream included South San Jose.  But it says OPPORTUNITY !!! three times.

So why are you still here? Go! Go!

I feel we’ve been neglecting Campbell for a while, so here’s another listing from the City Without a Nickname (please feel free to make one up in the comments) or how about More City for a Million.  However, according to Wikipedia, Campbell was where the fruit cocktail was first invented.  I don’t know how they poached that feat from Sunnyvale, where the Fruit Cocktail Tower is still standing.

Thanks very much to Burbed reader THN for bringing this great deal to our attention.  Burbed reader Sam Adu also recently mentioned it in comments.

183 DILLON Ave, Campbell, CA 95008
$424,900

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,565
$/SQ. FT.: $272
LOT SIZE: 4,599 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Traditional
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1934
COMMUNITY: Campbell
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81056007
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 244 days

Great home for the growing family. Close to sought after Downtown Campbell and Rapid Transit line. Kitchen has been remodeled with granit counter tops and tile flooring. Home comes with gas stove, microwave, and refrigerater. Back yard has built in BBQ with separate guest cottage (permit unknown)

Well, this listing copy’s a bit of a head-scratcher; the agent misspelled “granit” and “refrigerater” but nailed “separate guest cottage.”  I like how the “granit” goes with the single-pane windows and that seafoam green paint job from 1956.

That first picture’s a puzzlement, too.  Do they expect you to park your car in the garage?  Most people park on the driveway and use the garage as a storage shed, but the white picket fence makes that option impossible!  Where the heck are you going to store your back issues of National Geographic?

While your jaw drops lower and lower as you read the listing history below, we’ve highlighted the most important parts for you.  This house has not only been foreclosed, it’s been pending five times, and changed hands for $693,000.  In 2005.

And if you think that’s a lot of money, wait until you see the Zillow record.

Talk about freefall!  This house is doing the limbo, because nobody’s figured out how low can it go.  Meanwhile, four different Redfin agents have toured the place, and the reviews are in!

The location isn’t that bad, is it?

No, it’s not as close to the freeway as Monday’s house!  Whew!

UPDATE: Thanks to Burbed reader AstroWallaby’s on-target comments, I have this neighborhood photo for your consideration: