June 14, 2013

Game of Thrones in Daly City

130613-parkview-throneWe love featuring all kinds of Bay Area Real Estate win: the bad listing photos, the atrocious listing copy, the ridiculous pricing, the uncorrectable defects better known as location fail, the horrendous décor choices, or any other example of Realty WTF that our readers send us.

Today’s entry will start your weekend off well.  While Game of Thrones just finished its third season on HBO, you can play the game on the Peninsula! Thanks very much to Burbed reader waiting_for_the_fall for this fantastic installment!

130613-parkview-redfin96 PARKVIEW Ave
Daly City, CA 94014
$489,000

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,150 Sq. Ft.
$425 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1922
Lot Size: 3,300 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 40 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Community: ‘Original’ Daly City
MLS#: 81315124
Stories: 1
County: San Mateo

Complete fixer in great Daly City neighborhood. City approved remodel plans in place to create legal 3 bedroom 2 bath. Large corner lot close to transportation and shopping. Detached garage and private, low maintenance yard. Lots of sweat equity in this home ready for the handy buyer!

First let’s have a good look around, especially that low maintenance yard.

130613-parkview-gated130613-parkview-paint130613-parkview-window

What does waiting_for_the_fall have to say about this charming cottage?

I got another one for you.  This one is a real stinker.

Check out the steps up to both toilets.  I’ve heard of toilets called thrones before, but this is taking it a bit too far.  The listing history is like a roller coster.  How can anyone think this crapshack (with toilet thrones!) is worth 489k?!?

130613-parkview-bath130613-parkview-bath2

If anyone buys this house at the listed price, they are mentally insane.

If everyone is high on bubbly, that’s not mental insanity. That’s a day in the Bay Area that ends with “-y”!  Y for Yes We Are!

Comments (2) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:04 am






February 21, 2013

HOUSE for under $300K with colorful history, we bet

Yes, you heard right, today we have an actual house for sale for less than $300 big ones.  That means you have no more excuses for not becoming a homedebtor.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader holyzoo for passing along this palace in Pacifica!

130220-edgemar-movoto627 Edgemar Ave
Pacifica, CA 94044
$289,000

Loan Payment: $1,022/mo
Bedrooms: 3
Bathrooms: 1&1/2
Size: 1,000 sqft
$/Sqft: $289/sqft
Type: Single Family House
Year Built: 1950
Lot Size: 5,104
Days on Movoto: 14 days
Neighborhood: Pacific Manor
MLS#: 81303817
Status: Active

This is a total fixer upper. The house needs everything! Swimming pool full of rancid water. Considered uninhabitable . Sewer lateral needs to be replaced. This is a contractor special. The house needs all new systems and total restoration. Large termite report calls for further inspections. Holes in walls. Wood floors ruined.

130220-edgemar-hardwoodDid you hear that? This house has EVERYTHING!  Let’s check in with the zed.

Yeah, I know it’s totally not RBA, but how often do you actually see a listing for under $300k?

I think we’ll be heading to the open house just to feel thankful we don’t have cancer or gangrene.

Speaking of the open house, let’s see how open the walls are.

Wait a minute, wait a minute… Remember when we last saw floors like this?  Sure you do.

130220-edgemar-chemstains-article

130220-edgemar-entryNow, we are definitely not saying that this house could have allegedly been a hypothetical meth lab.  And we are definitely not saying that this house could have been used for any non-normal innocent suburban purposes whatsoever OH PLEASE DON’T SUE US PLEASE DON’T THROW US INTO THAT BRIAR PATCH JACKPOT JURY PROCESS. 

But we are saying that it’s a good thing the nearest fire station is, we swear we are not making this up, only 88 yards from this house.

Have a look at some more pictures, including one that is very definitely NSFW, after the break.

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Comments (29) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:02 am

October 5, 2012

UPDATEDx2 with a MURDER: WOW! Sunrise and Sunset included! PRICED TO SELL !!!

9:50 AM: See end for update.  It’s worth it.
12:09 PM: Another update on the other murder.

It’s time to play Build a Ginormous House Somewhere Not As Expensive As The Real Bay Area and then try to find a buyer! Ready?  It’s Burbed reader J from Alameda‘s turn with this lovely Lafayette listing.

121004-hunsaker-redfin1901 HUNSAKER CANYON Rd
Lafayette, CA 94549
$1,998,000

4 Beds
3.5 Baths
6,200 Sq. Ft.
$322 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2003
Lot Size: 13.50 Acres
On Redfin: 39 days
Type: Detached
Stories: 3+
Community: Burton Valley
MLS#: 40587017
Style: Other
View: Canyon, Carquinez, City Lights, Forest, Hills, Mountains, Mt. Diablo, Valley
County: Contra Costa

WOW! $1+M price reduction! What a buy!! 13+- acres. Gated 360% View! Italian Villa/ stone, hardwood fls, custom & antique lighting. Finest materials including stone, hardwood, beautiful moldings and mllwork. Sunrise and Sunset included ! Rm for pool tennis/guest house/vineyard. PRICED TO SELL !!!

121004-hunsaker-kawlums-archHere’s why J from A sent this in:

As promised, a lovely chateau – in the Lafayette hills. Of note: a million dollar price reduction, a reasonable $322 a square foot and lots of columns.

Somehow it seems that 3.5 bathrooms spread across 6,200 sq feet of living space is not quite the usual ratio – a new way to measure houses – bathrooms per square feet? I am sure the buyer will be happy to have an elevator to navigate all those stories. Enjoy!

121004-hunsaker-kawlums-balconyYou’re right, J. We’ve noted the business of beaucoup bathrooms in ginormous houses for people with too much money and not enough taste. No wonder this place had a million dollar price reduction.  According to the LA Times, this house needs at minimum 8 rooms for waste disposal and sluicing.

Good thing it was PRICED TO SELL !!! We’ve seen enough houses that were priced to stay empty or priced to sit on the listing service for years and years.

Like, um, this house:

121004-hunsaker-listing-history

Even Zillow thinks the house is worth $2,169,784. Instant equity!  Ka-ching!

Update 9:50 AM: Burbed reader magdalena alerts us to this 2005 SF Chronicle article that specifically mentions the house.  In a this-would-never-be-believed-as-fiction tragedy, the wife of criminal defense lawyer Daniel Horowitz was murdered in “the entryway of the home.” Wikipedia says she was murdered in a mobile home on the property while their “dream house” was being completed.  The murder occurred four days after the beginning of a high-profile trial where Horowitz was defending Susan Polk, accused of killing her husband in their Orinda home. Horowitz had taken the case after Polk had fired her previous lawyers for encouraging her to plead insanity.

This led to a mistrial, but as Horowitz prepared for Polk’s second trial, she fired him, convinced that he had something to do with his wife’s murder.  16 year old Scott Dyleski was convicted of the murder; supposedly he intended to kill a neighbor who had run over his dog and went to the wrong house.  Polk’s story manages to get even more bizarre after Horowitz was fired (this Dateline NBC link confirms the mobile home claim from Wikipedia).

WOW!  Sunrise and sunset is just the entryway of what’s included with this house!

Update 12:09 PM: Murder kills home values as well as people.  Check out Susan Polk’s house.  We found a listing e-flyer, and Redfin has the price history:

 

 

Comments (29) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:03 am

October 1, 2012

Warning! Feature from the East Bay Lagoon! NSFW!

Our pleas have been heard!  A couple of weeks ago, when posting the nine kajillionth house in Mountain View “close to Google,” we asked for homes that were not in the hot, hot, hot Mountain View/Palo Alto area.  And Burbed reader JL has delivered, with this attractive attached abode in Alameda.  Yes, Alameda, as in the island in Alameda County.

Don’t say we didn’t warn you about this one, because we certainly did.

120930-bayview-redfin2909 BAYVIEW Dr
Alameda, CA 94501
$465,000

4 Beds
2 Baths
1,716 Sq. Ft.
$271 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1964
Lot Size: 3,051 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 10 days
Type: Duet
Stories: 2
Community: Alameda
MLS#: 40590093
Style: Contemporary
View: Water
County: Alameda

Open – Sunday, Sept 23rd, 2 – 3 pm only. A 4 bedroom single-family attached home situated on a quiet lagoon, close to the beach and walking path. TLC needed for this contemporary home.

120930-bayview-viewSo far, nothing too alarming here, other than this “duet home” having a garage door face-off.  One looks like a paint sampler and one doesn’t.  One has a peaked roof feature and one doesn’t.  The windows and shutters aren’t matched either.

Guess our standards shouldn’t be so high when buying a house directly from the bank instead of through a pesky owner.

So first, let’s first admire that Water view we were promised.

Delightful!  Ready to see the inside of the house?  Sure you are.  You may need to take a minute to adjust your eyes from the bright sun glinting off the water.  We’ll give you a brief rest by making you click through to see them, and many more pictures!

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Comments (11) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:01 am

September 18, 2012

For old times sake, a Pink House in South City!

Longtime readers of this site might remember that Our Founder had this thing about pink houses.  Every once in a while we find a really Special one to keep the Dream alive!  Here’s a winner in South San Francisco, and you’ve already figured out what we meant by “winner,” didn’t you?  We mean that you can buy this house for only twice as much as your brother in Akron paid for his 5 bedroom spread on an acre.

120917-orange-redfin826 W ORANGE Ave
South San Francisco, CA 94080
$325,000

2 Beds
1 Baths
930 Sq. Ft.
$349 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1945
Lot Size: 4,240 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 4 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
County: San Mateo
Style: Ranch
Community: Avalon Park
MLS#: 81233867

Great location in Southwood. Short stroll to the Library, and Adult School. Fixer upper, probate sale requires court confirmation. 1st showing on Sunday Sept 16 from 1 -4 PM. Termite inspection report and disclosure package will be available by Sept 21, 2012. Offer to use probate bid form provided in disclosure package. Seal bid to be delivered to listing office by Oct 16, 2012 before 5 PM.

120917-orange-toiletOh goody, court confirmation!  So this is a perfect house for you if you hate pushy agents who want you to fill out paperwork yesterday, and you’re not in much of a hurry to live anywhere, and you prefer vintage fixtures.

And at a whopping 930 square feet, it’s not like you’ll have enough room to move more than one U-Haul truck’s worth of furnishings.

Definitely check out the (only) bathroom, and then look under the cabinet for some bleach to clean your brain from any aftereffects of this photo.  There’s more photos of the other rooms on the listing!

But hey! The house is definitely pink and it can be yours… in October… we hope… just in time to paint it orange for either Halloween or to match the street name.

Comments (9) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:02 am

September 16, 2012

Catch current conspicuous country house consumption craze: countless crappers

Today’s story deserves a good long sit and read, followed by a good long sit and think.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader nomadic for wafting this one in.

Wealthy home buyers demand bathrooms; lots of bathrooms

Some mansions have nearly as many toilets as entire blocks in less regal neighborhoods

By Lauren Beale, Los Angeles Times, March 2, 2012, 6:34 p.m.

120915-bathrooms-center-tubHere’s another way the rich are different: They have more bathrooms.

Real estate brokers who cater to the moneyed say their clients typically want homes that have at least two bathrooms for every bedroom. And with spacious tubs, floor lamps, dressing areas and seating, some bathrooms rival bedrooms in size.

“The bathroom has become the dressing room,” said Bob Ray Offenhauser, a Studio City-based residential architect who routinely encloses the shower and toilet in their own rooms within a room. “They really don’t look much like bathrooms anymore.”

Some mansions have nearly as many commodes as entire blocks in less regal neighborhoods.

Pickfair, the Beverly Hills estate of Mary Pickford and Douglas Fairbanks, was outfitted with 30 bathrooms in a later overhaul. But the record locally may be the 41 bathrooms boasted by an 18,400-square-foot Mediterranean-style home in Bel-Air that was recently on the market for $40 million, real estate agents say.

120915-bathrooms-swiss-army-toiletThis is an alarming trend coming out of SoCal.  Why would ginormous Southland estates need more bathrooms than the San Jose Convention Center?  Do they all need to do coke privately, but simultaneously?  Is this high-pressure trend going to affect estates in the Real Bay Area?

Discuss.  You may refer to Facebook stock prices to support your conclusion.

This is also your Weekend Open Thread, so feel free to mention any Open Houses you visited, or whatever else you feel like arguing about today.

Just keep the door shut until you’re done.

Comments (19) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:06 am

January 4, 2012

Who needs plumbing anyway!

947 N 7TH St,
San Jose, CA 95112

$279,000

image

I’m sure it’s not this simple… but really… couldn’t you just flush the toilet and see what happens? If it doesn’t go anywhere, or just goes outside, maybe it’s not connected to the sewer?

Why is this so hard to figure out?

But more importantly, does it even matter? Aren’t we supposed to be green and all? Forget “gray water”, that’s so last century. These days, it’s about yellow and-possibly-brown (if you’re coming back from Mexico having drank the water) water.

If you hate this house, you must hate the environment.

Comments (11) -- Posted by: burbed @ 5:50 am

January 15, 2009

Affordable homes in Scotts Valley – amazing bathroom views!

355 Woodland Dr, Scotts Valley, CA 95066 Scotts Valley North MLS# 80850169 – Property Details
$299,900

1806155675_355

* Status: Active
* Bedroom: 3
* Bathroom: 2
* Year Built: 1979
* Lot Size: 39500
* Square Footage: 1360
* List Date: 12/18/2008
* Garage Spaces: 1

* MLS#: 80850169
Great opportunity to own a piece of Scotts Valley! Home details are from last MLS listing. Home was left in the middle of major recontruction. Fixer upper or tear down. No kitchen, only one bath. Please view with caution. Unsafe deck. The information is provided by others and has not been verified by CENTURY 21 Alpha, seller or listing agent. Not a short sale!

Burbed doesn’t usually venture to Scotts Valley, but fortunately Burbed reader Scott (no relation) did and this is what he found!

Wowsers. Talk about affordable. And its just a short commute on beautiful 17.

The fact that this is half finished is what makes this an amazing deal. Look at some of the work that has been done already:

1751787380_355a

If that’s not an awesome design I don’t know what is. After a long day of work you can come home, soak in the bathtub, and admire nature all at the same time. Wowsers. And if you have to go potty, it’s right next to it!

This house is just waiting for you to complete the masterpiece. Quick! How will you complete this:

1539311376_355b

Wow. I think the boundaries between space and time are collapsing here. Hey, that means you can build an unpermitted addition into the 4th or 5th dimension!

Comments (22) -- Posted by: burbed @ 5:16 am

December 1, 2008

NSFB (Not Safe For Breakfast): A little deferred maintenance in San Francisco

469 Valley St San Francisco, CA 94131
Price: $738,000


Beds:     4
Baths:     2
Sq. Ft.:     935
$/Sq. Ft.:     $789
Lot Size:     -
Property Type:    Detached, Full, Single-Family Home
Style:    Cottage
Year Built:    1910
View:    Panoramic, City Lights, Bay
Region:    San Francisco District 5 (Central)
Area:    Noe Valley
County:     San Francisco
MLS#:     348338
Source:     San Francisco MLS
Status:     Active
On Redfin:     5 days
Fixer-upper
Contractors Special; Zoned RH-2; Great Views of Noe Valley, Diamond Heights, the Bay, etc. Probate Sale. Property Sold in it’s present AS-IS Condition. Seller has full authority (Court Confirmation may not be required). Home in poor condition. Lots of deferred maintenance. Looking at offers any time

So much senseless, ridiculous claims about how the Bay Area is declining in the silly press these days. Thanks to Burbed reader Carsten, we can remain confident that San Francisco is in the Real Bay Area. $789 sqft for a fixer upper feels normal… almost relieving.

A little deferred maintenance? Like what?

I did warn you that this was NSFB didn’t I?

Happy Monday!

Comments (26) -- Posted by: burbed @ 5:03 am