Our post-Christmas closeouts continue!  Today we’re heading up the hill to Santa Cruz County to show that you, yes YOU!! Can!! Afford!! To buy a house!! Thanks very much to Burbed reader wahnny for sending us this bodacious Boulder Creek craptacular.

273 W HILTON Dr
San Lorenzo Valley, CA 95006
$49,900

3 Beds 
2 Baths 
1,400 Sq. Ft.
$36 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1965 
Lot Size: 0.32 Acres 
On Redfin: 21 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Community: Boulder Creek
MLS#: 81242647
Stories: 2
County: Santa Cruz

Property damaged by 2006 slide on Boulder Creek golf course. Engineering reports and county reports on file. Drive by only. DO NOT ENTER PROPERTY. CASH OFFER ONLY.

Here’s what wahnny said about this resort location:

Although the photos and listing appear to match the reality of the area (made worse with recent rains), the dreaming still continues.

You’ll be having pleasant dreams in this Golf Course abode!  They’ll be so amazing that’s why you’re only allowed to drive by. 

Nobody’s allowed to enter the property until you’ve paid your cash offer.  If that isn’t proof that The Bubbles Are Back, we don’t know what is.

We’re sure you can clean up that 2006 slide on Boulder Creek golf course, if you can find where the engineering and county reports are “on file.”

We’re continuing the DEALS DEALS DEALS with yet another region full of cheap housing. Today’s victim: Santa Cruz County!  But wait, you may rudely point out. Santa Cruz County is not part of the Bay Area.  It does not have any part of it touching the Bay.

Oh yeah?  What’s Monterey Bay, chopped liver?  Plenty of people commute to Silicon Valley from Santa Cruz County.  Maybe even Googlers.  Presenting, the cheapest house in all of Santa Cruz County!

575 HAZEL BRAKE
San Lorenzo Valley, CA 95006
$115,000

2 Beds 
1 Baths 
900 Sq. Ft.
$128 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1943 
Lot Size: 0.45 Acres 
On Redfin: 1 day
Status: Active
Property Type
Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Boulder Creek
MLS#: 81241767
Style: Cabin
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Cruz

DO NOT visit property with out an Agent; stairway, deck and house could be dangerous. This is a major fixer-upper, however it is in a great neighborhood. Bracken Brae has hiking trails, picnic grounds, private water system and roads with lovely river access just for owners.

When a property listing starts out with a warning like DO NOT visit property, we know it’s going to be good. And unlike the places we found earlier this week, this one has more than 2500 square feet of land.  It also has more than one picture, which means more work for us. 

At left is Picture number two.  Out of 24. Believe us when we say this is one of the cheerier views.

Also, catch the not-so-subtle reminder that rentards aren’t deserving of anything: lovely river access just for owners.  This is like Foothills Park, except living in Palo Alto is nowhere as exciting. For this dangerous listing, DO NOT go anywhere (especially stairway, deck and house) with out an Agent. DO NOT even look at these photos.

This agent deserves some kind of award, for either Whole Truth In Real Estate Photography, or for skipping the worse views that weren’t included.