There are several kinds of problem listings we enjoy digging into.  There’s the traditional crapshack, which is a house that’s basically a really ugly and old box (and it needs work, too).  There’s the perfectly acceptable house with a price that would only attract buyers if it were in pesos instead of dollars.  There’s the very high end custom place that’s a dream home for the owner but quirky as all get out for anyone else.  This house also has a cousin, the high end custom home where the builder/owner went broke trying to finish it.

Today’s listing is a different kind of fail.  This is the house that got a little too foo-foo for the neighborhood, and maybe a little too cute for its own good.  Let’s see what awaits in our favorite Sunnyvale zip code.

1301 PAULINE Dr
Sunnyvale, CA 94087
$1,300,000; reduced from $1,399,999 on 7/27/12; reduced from $1,496,999 on 6/27/12

BEDS:  4
BATHS:  4.5
SQ. FT.:  2,875
$/SQ. FT.:  $452
LOT SIZE:  7,032 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Mediterranean
STORIES: 2
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT:  2007
COMMUNITY:  Sunnyvale
COUNTY:  Santa Clara
MLS#:  81224214
SOURCE:  MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN:  35 days

Huge Price Reduction! A spectacular custom home in Sunnyvale with Cupertino Schools. Bright open floor plan with 3 master bedroom suits, custom drapery, Austrian crystal chandeliers, dual zone heating and A/C, alarm system, crown molding, and so much more! A better than new home! Cupertino Schools: Stocklmeir 956 API, Cupertino Middle 928 API. Turn key and ready for move in for an amazing price!

We have a lot more pictures waiting for you, so click on through!

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Ever thought about building you very own family compound?  Now you can!  These neighboring homes are for sale, so why not buy both?  Thanks very much to Burbed reader amer_icongrl for sending us these San Mateo specials.  And we promise, these are Real Special.

3815 EDISON St
San Mateo, CA 94403
$599,000

BEDS: 2
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 1,040
$/SQ. FT.: $576
LOT SIZE: 5,490 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1946
COMMUNITY: Westwood Knolls
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81222217
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 5 days

CHARMING WESTWOOD KNOLLS HOME! LOCATED ON THE WORLD RENOWN SAN FRANCISCO PENINSULA, WITHIN MINTUES FROM SCHOOLS, SHOPPING CENTERS, TRANSPORTATION AND THE SAN FRANCISCO INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT! THIS HOME FEATURES GLEAMING HARDWOOD FLOORS, AN UPDATED EAT IN KITCHEN WITH GRANITE COUNTER TOPS, FRENCH DOORS LEADING OUT TO A PRIVATE PATIO AND AN ATTACHED GARAGE! HURRY! THIS HOME WON’T LAST LONG!

..but wait, there’s more!

3821 EDISON St
San Mateo, CA 94403
$596,600

BEDS: 2
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 1,040
$/SQ. FT.: $574
LOT SIZE: 5,490 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1946
COMMUNITY: Westwood Knolls
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81219113
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 27 days

Great starter home on the west side featuring two bedrooms and one bath. Nice large deck, yard, views and more. This is your oppportunity. .. don’t miss it

We’ve got plenty about both houses… after the break.

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Have you ever realized that you aren’t spending enough of your time parking all of your cars?  Why not buy a house that fixes that terrible lack in your life?  After all, pure parking pleasure requires just the right property, and perhaps this is the perfect palace!  Thanks much to Burbed reader Michael Boltonestater for this beauty of a building in Belmont!

820 EL CAMINO REAL
Belmont, CA 94062
$669,000, reduced from $709,000

BEDS: 5
BATHS: 3
SQ. FT.: 2,200
$/SQ. FT.: $304
LOT SIZE: 3,250 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Mediterranean
STORIES: 2
VIEW: City Lights
COMMUNITY: Belmont Country Club
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81211546
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 76 days

Single family home locate on commercial zoon, city may allow home office use for light industry. Interest party need to confirm with city ordiance. 3 bedroom 2 bath upstairs (one master), two additioanal bedroom 1 bath downstairs done with permit. Spacious garage park up to 4 cars tandem.

Today’s featured house convenient to, well, everything (how much more central can you get than the Street of Kings?).  Plus, by only including one photo the agent has made it easy for you to review this listing as quickly as possible.  Not only that, this house is even more Special than you think.  It’s been on Burbed before!

Wow, you can buy it for less than its 2009 asking price, despite it being in the middle of a red-hot market.  And that’s an old asking price, because the home was delisted the day before it appeared here back in 2009. 

Also we just had to sneak in this really old listing picture from when it sold in 2000.  For $535,000.  Think of how much this place is really worth now!  And there’s more good news!  The Redfin agent has done the legwork so you don’t have to.

This location is perfect.  If you don’t already have four cars, step next door and buy them.

Don’t like what they’re selling next door?  No problem at all!  Just head across the street to the CalTrain station and check out what’s chillin’.

Look, you’re a busy person.  This house has a four car garage.  That works out to 25 years per covered parking space.  Now that’s a DEAL.

Let’s have another look at Los Gatos, as it’s one of those Real Bay Area cities.  You can tell it is when you see a property listed for twice as much as it sold for in the bubblicious days of 2005.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader nomadic for this peerless property.

138 SMITH RANCH Ct
Los Gatos, CA 95032
$888,000

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2.5
SQ. FT.: 1,582
$/SQ. FT.: $561
HOA DUES: $85/month 
LOT SIZE: 3,484 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 2
YEAR BUILT: 2005
COMMUNITY: Los Gatos/Monte Sereno
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81211027
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 31 days

Beautiful 7 yr new home walking distance to Courtside, Netflix, LG trails, restaurants and shopping within Los Gatos school district. Regular sale, shows like a model, with high ceilings, recessed lights, granite kitchen & stainless appliances, hardwood floors in the family room/kitchen areas. Large, bright master with over sized tub and walk in closet. Private back yard and large 2 car garage.

Note the HOA fees prominently listed next to key features such as size of the house, size of the lot, and how many beds and baths.  When did Redfin start doing that?

Now here’s what nomadic had to say about the house.

Purchased two weeks ago at foreclosure (auction?) for $730k and now listed for a lucky $888k to cash in on $158k of instant equity!  It’s on a postage stamp lot that backs up to the 85 off ramp at Winchester.  The most recent sales on the street were in June 2010 for $460/sf, but those were about 1/3 larger – maybe the price isn’t as ridiculous as it seems…

Let’s see if Zillow agrees with “ridiculous.”

Um…whoa.  Those ZEstimates are all OVER the place.  And the “bunus” is the railroad tracks (shown as the dashed line) that run behind the homes across the street, the cherry on top of the awesome sauce that is Winchester plus the freeway ramp.

What do you think this home should sell for?  What do you think this home should sell now that you know it has “corporate ownership” plus “agent has financial interest”?  Usually corporate ownership means you’re looking at an REO, but in this case the place is owned by “Petwun LLC,” and the agent is the “manager” of said entity.

Today is the last entry of a string of hella fine housing from Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer.  We hope you have enjoyed Petsmart Groomer week.  Next week we’ll return to a mix of properties from all over the Bay Area submitted by some of our other readers (if we still have any).

Many thanks again to Petsmart Groomer for all the finds, including this, um, place that’s been on Burbed twice already!  But you’d have to go all the back to 2008 to remember this one.  That was so long ago we were still using the MLS website for our listings!

And then we revisited the same house again three months later!

Now it’s back, and it’s better than EVEH!  You can find out how much better after the break!

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Here’s the very last house on a very long list of quality finds, thanks to Burbed reader sonarrat.

433 S FAIR OAKS Ave
Sunnyvale, CA 94086
$549,000

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 1,078
$/SQ. FT.: $509
LOT SIZE: 5,661 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Ranch
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1951
COMMUNITY: Sunnyvale
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81200122
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 89 days

Remodeled Kitchen and Bath a few years ago and still looks new, large back yard. Double payne windows. Central Heat and air conditioning. Concrete patio, big back yard. Walk to Ellis Elementary school. Room to expand drive way for 2 car off street parking. Even though this is on Fairoaks the back of the homes where the bedrooms are is very quite so you can sleep in easily.

Is this supposed to be the dining room, right next to the front door?  Now that’s innovation, which is practically Silicon Valley’s middle name!

What sort of lens would get that stretched-out effect on the front door while making the table look like it’s all the way in Santa Clara?

Have a look at some of the other photos of this house and see if you notice how space and time have completely taken leave of their senses.

Remember, this is house is barely over a thousand square feet, but you can store an unlimited amount of potential here!

Today’s luxe listing is all about location, location, location!  Many thanks to Burbed reader Overheard in San Carlos for passing along this plum place!

664 CHESTNUT St
San Carlos, CA 94070
$850,000

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 2,920
$/SQ. FT.: $291
LOT SIZE: 7,350 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Mediterranean
STORIES: 2
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1950
COMMUNITY: Howard Park
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81207068
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Pending Without Release
ON REDFIN: 25 days

CHARMING 3 BEDROOM, 1.75 BATH HOME W/ FRM, HDWD FLRS THRU-OUT & 2 CAR TANDEM GARAGE. SPACIOUS LIVING RM W/ BRICK SURROUND FRPLC. SEP FRML DINING RM W/ ARCHED DOORWAY. RETRO 50′S STYLE EAT-IN KITCH W/ TILE COUNTER TOPS, PLENTY OF CABINETS, FREE STANDING RANGE/OVEN & REFRIG. 3 NICE SIZE BEDRMS ON MAIN LEVEL. DWNSTRS FULL BASEMENT W/ LAUNDRY AREA. 7350 SQ FT LOT/ZONED RM59

HRS OF ENTRTNMNT INSD & OUT.

BUNUS: RM-59 ZNG = “MLTPL FAM MED DNSTY.”  Which is great, because this place already looks more like an APT HSE.

IDEAL LOCN, WLK 2 LIB, CTY SVCS DWNTWN, CLS 2 EVRYTNG.

ESPLY POLCE STN.

Here’s a peach of a property courtesy of Burbed reader Swan, complete with an agent who ought to look into some alternate nicknames.

1980 HEATHERDALE Ave
San Jose, CA 95126
$475,000

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 2.5
SQ. FT.: 1,550
$/SQ. FT.: $306
LOT SIZE: 6,360 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1946
COMMUNITY: Santa Clara
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81208684
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 6 days

Move in conditions, up dated kitchen and baths. Well maintained 4 bedrooms plus one additional master bedroom. Large level back yard , 2 car side by side. Apartment complex at back of this house. Short sale , 2 lender’s ( 2 loans )

Here’s what Swan thought about this place:

I came across this listing today and found it possibly Burbed-worthy.  First, the realtor’s name is Lucky Chan.  In my experience, any person or animal named Lucky is usually the opposite.  This realtor should change his name to Honest.  He is very honest in the listing:  apartment complex at the back of the house (yup, sure is), short sale (have fun looking at the price history on Zillow), and two lenders (that can’t be good).  Last we have "2 car side by side."  Do the cars come with the house?  Where are the lucky 8s in the price?  Anyway, someone buy this quickly so Lucky can get lucky. 

For a short sale, this property is in surprisingly acceptable shape… that is, for what little we get to see of it.  I do wonder why, given how little clutter was left in the yard, why we’re looking at any of it.  It would have taken all of 2 minutes to move that ladder and the blue ball out of the frame above, and another 2 for the small collection of patio crap at left.  I guess it was easier to simply go for the soft-focus effect.

And Honest, or Lucky, could have been even more honest by telling us about this home’s excellent location, location, location.  Not only is there an apartment complex behind it, you’re also really close to transportation!

Plus let’s take a quick peek at the neighborhood.

Awesome!  A gated home next door, plus on-street parking is at a premium.  Looks like you’ll be having all kinds of spirited discussions with your neighbors! 

All this and a house old enough to collect Social Security.  Maybe you’ll get Lucky, too.

We still have plenty of fantastic finds from Burbed reader sonarrat to share with you, so let’s see what’s waiting for you in the Campbell neighborhood of sunny San Jose!  Looks like another fine feature from the bank vaults!

3624 MOORPARK Ave
San Jose, CA 95117
$439,900

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,143
$/SQ. FT.: $385
LOT SIZE: 4,444 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1955
COMMUNITY: Campbell
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81150615
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 78 days

REDUCED PRICE! Spacious home with good layout! Updated kitchen with granite counters, granite island and stainless steel sink and appliances! Hardwood and tiled floors, great backyard for entertaining. Located close to parks, schools, shopping and easy freeway access!

Here’s what sonarrat thought about this house:

location location location – busy street, San Tomas Expressway, and 280.

Wait, don’t you want to admire the, um, interesting choice of paint in the living room?  No?

Okay, then let’s have a good look at that location, then.

Win-win-win!

Remember all those listings that said “value is in the land”?  Burbed reader Swan has sent in a parcel that’s going to stress-test that theory.  Thanks a “lot” Swan!

0 PEACHTREE Ln (Unable to map), San Jose, CA 95128
$298,000

BEDS: –
BATHS: –
SQ. FT.: –
LOT SIZE: 7,560 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Residential Land (Single Family)
COMMUNITY: Santa Clara
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81119634
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 215 days

To be sold with Lot 274-35-075 Approx 11,600 sf total. Price is for both parcels. ADDRESS SHOULD BE 0 CHERRYSTONE DR. ACCESS TO PARCELS IS FROM THE CORNER OF BASCOM AVE & CHERRYSTONE DR. PARCEL 2 IS BEHIND PARCEL 1 THRU CHAIN LINK FENCE.

Here’s why Swan sent this vacant lot in:

This is a lot for sale in my neighborhood.  The map link on the agent’s website does not take you to the correct location.  Use Google Maps to map 2012 Cherrystone, San Jose 95128.  The lot is next to the home, right along Bascom Ave.  It’s a very long and skinny lot. 

First, I can’t imagine anyone paying $298K for this though it does have *easy freeway access.*  Second, the lot is 7500 square feet which is decent for our neighborhood, but I have no idea how you’d fit a house on this lot!

Nonsense, this is a fantastic opportunity.  These parcels are in the thick of the teeming vitality that makes Silicon Valley such a Special place to live!  Nothing could be finer than this location, location, location! 

And wouldn’t you love to live on the corner of Cherrystone and Bascom, so convenient to the freeway!  Why hasn’t this been snapped up ages ago?  It includes a CHAIN LINK FENCE.

Don’t worry that the agent put the wrong address for the parcel into MLS and “corrected” it in the listing copy.  That way it’s a secret private deal, just for you, or only those “in the know” who use Google.  Kind of the way 0 Peachtree is a secret, private lot. 

Maybe this listing is like the Mountain View three for one on Monday.  In today’s case, it’s a BOGO.  Or a BOGZ.  Or if we label it for locality, since it’s in the United States, a BOG-US.