November 15, 2013

Short ‘n Simple in San Jose

Thanks very much to Burbed reader Swan for ensuring we had some content today.

131114-crestview-redfin738 CRESTVIEW Dr
San Jose, CA 95117
$785,000

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,481 Sq. Ft.
$530 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1954
Lot Size: 6,660 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 2 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
County: Santa Clara
Style: Traditional
Community: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81340890

There are no remarks available.

Yeah, we’ve been having a month like that.  Now let’s check in with Swan:

Once you see the realtard’s photography skills and the homeowner’s interior decorating skills, you’ll understand why, "There are no remarks available."

131114-crestview-shutters131114-crestview-tv131114-crestview-kitchen131114-crestview-dining

Click a pic to embiggen.

Comments (6) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:02 am






September 6, 2013

East San Jose Mawbul Kawlums! This house sits on a lot of square feet

Okay, East San Jose hills, but still! Oh my gawd who lives here, the POPE?  Thanks very much to Burbed reader TL in San Jose for sending in this feature that indicates what makes a joint classy. KAWLUMS!  Put some in your bedroom!

130905-chaboya-redfin4227 CHABOYA Ct
San Jose, CA 95148
$2,988,000

7 Beds
6.5 Baths
8,314 Sq. Ft.
$359 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1989
Lot Size: 3.40 Acres
On Redfin: 14 days
Status: Active


130905-chaboya-kawlums1

130905-chaboya-kawlums2Not only this mansion teeming with MAWBUL KAWLUMS, the listing isn’t full of much of anything. We didn’t forget the description; there isn’t any. Also missing are basic entry items such as the County, the house style, and how many stories in the building. But this agent doesn’t have any stories to tell. Instead, we’ll let the photos do all the talking.

We did find this description on MLSListings:

130905-chaboya-kawlums3*BREATHTAKING UNSURPASSED VIEWS OF SF BAY AREA, SILICON VALLEY, AND THE BEST SUNSETS IN THE AREA* 7 BEDROOMS* 6.5 BATHS*2 MASTER SUITES* 2 KITCHENS W/ S.S. APPLIANCES* EXTRA LARGE BUILT IN FRIDGE* GRANITE SLAB COUNTERS HUGE ENTERTAINMENT/BONUS AREA* UNPARALLELED CUSTOM FINISHES THROUGHOUT *HIGH CEILINGS* MARBLE FLOORS* DRAMATIC STAIRCASE* BASKETBALL CT* VINEYARD * SOLAR POOL* EXCELLENT SCHOOLS*

130905-chaboya-kawlums4Best of all, it links to a virtual tour with, we shit you not, 80 pictures.  Because the 25 on Redfin are obviously not enough. Also not enough are the missing description in Redfin and the ALL-CAPS one above. So we are delighted to share the one from the virtual tour as well, because it demonstrates the care and consideration taken with selling a three million dollar house.

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It certainly does. 148,104 sure is a lot.

130905-chaboya-kawlums5130905-chaboya-kawlums6

Comments (8) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:02 am

August 9, 2013

Gingerbread house in beautiful San Bruno: Most unique must see

It’s Friday! Let’s finish up the week with an awesome property from that always hot market on the Peninsula, San Bruno! In fact this place is so on fire that nobody can get near it, and hasn’t for almost a year! Thanks very much to Burbed reader Facebooksux for today’s featured façade.

130808-jenevein-redfin792 JENEVEIN Ave
San Bruno, CA 94066
$989,000

3 Beds
2 Baths
2,960 Sq. Ft.
$334 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1937
Lot Size: 5,000 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 350 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
View: Neighborhood
County: San Mateo
Stories: 1
Community: Huntington Park
MLS#: 81231724

The exterior may look like a gingerbread house with the white picket fence and shutter trim on the outside windows, the front door opens to a most unique home. Everything is custom, a must see home. Huge master bedroom suite with high ceilings and and private spa bathroom. Formal dining room, family room, TV room with wet bar. Eat in kitchen with walk in pantry/laundry area. So much more to see.

130808-jenevein-livingThe front page may look like a well-presented property, but there’s that datestamp in the lower right corner. Pro Tip: Unless you want your buyers to think you shot your listing photos with a disposable camera and dropped them off at Rite-Aid, turn off the danged stamps.

Let’s listen to Facebooksux’s nominating speech.

ALMOST A MILLION BERNANKE BUX FOR SAN BRUNO????!!!!

130808-jenevein-death-by-pillowHopefully there aren’t any leaky gas pipelines beneath the home.

Please use Facebooksux as my name instead of my real name and keep up the good work!!

You mean don’t mention that your real name is – ha ha, gotcha! Kind of like how this house will getcha too.  We are positive these pillows are up to no good.

But even if they can be trusted, there are many dangerous plants that are lying in wait for you. Be very afraid.

130808-jenevein-kitchen130808-jenevein-dining130808-jenevein-purple130808-jenevein-bath

This home has been decorated with such care, it must have been just as thoughtfully situated in its neighborhood, right? Here’s the delightful view from the front door.

130808-jenevein-streetview

So much more to see!

Comments (5) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:08 am

July 12, 2013

Wire for Cable in Alviso

Time to wrap up the workweek, so let’s break out of the usual Eichler-lite Close to Google. Have you considered buying in Alviso? Maybe this home courtesy of Burbed reader Michael Boltonestater will convince you that the sky is the limit for Alviso.  Or is that the smell starts at the limits of Alviso?

130711-gold-redfin2052 Gold St #204
San Jose, CA 95002
$99,900

2 Beds
2 Baths
1,440 Sq. Ft.
$69 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1977
Lot Size: —
On Redfin: 101 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Mobile Home (Double Wide)
County: Santa Clara
Community: Alviso (Santa Clara County)
MLS#: 81310420

Cozy 2Bed/2Ba Home!Serial#:A/B27032. Living room w/ carpet & wire for cable. Family room w/ carpet & wire for cable. Dining w/ display cabinet & wire for cabinet. Kitchen w/ linoleum, refrigerator, disposal, dishwasher, ceiling light. Guest bed w/ carpet & wire for cable & phone. Guest bath w/ standing shower. Master bed w/ walk in closet & wire for cable. Master bath w/ medicine cabinet & tub. Space rent:$850.00

130711-gold-curvesPerhaps you might think that featuring a mobile home from Alviso is kicking a listing while it’s down. We just think there’s win, and then there’s Burbed win.  Kind of like how there’s property, and then there’s Alviso property. 

And then there’s Alviso property shot with a fish-eye lens. Or else this home is more than a few bubbles off plumb. But, there is carpet, and wire for cable.

Comments (3) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:04 am

June 18, 2013

Lotsa Listing Lunacy in Los Altos!

Let’s take a look at this lovely lienhold in Los Altos. Today’s featured property brings us lots of great photography.  That is if by great we mean some other word, such as “quaint” or “challenging” or perhaps “well-meant.”  Thanks very much to Burbed reader littleoldlady from RBA.

And since this place is already in contract, Redfin isn’t showing it anymore. Helloooooo, Trulia!

130617-morton-redfin1650 Morton Ave
Los Altos, CA 94024
$1,388,000

4 bed / 3 full bath
2,588 sqft
Single-Family Home
Active Contingent
$6,215 / mo
25 days on Trulia
Built in 1955
Neighborhood: South Los Altos
MLS/Source ID: 81317816

1650 Morton Ave DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH-UPGRADE TO YOUR TASTE! This home was extensively remodeled and expanded in 2000. A guest room wing with two separate entrances was added and much of the original house was rebuilt. The finishes and details need attention, but the bones are 130617-morton-hardwoodgood. If you have the vision to imagine your own finishes and colors in place, you could polish this into the gem of the neighborhood, and what a fine neighborhood it is. The kitchen features maple cabinets and a comfortable breakfast area. Granite slab counters would complete the kitchen makeover (and we have a bid of just under $10,000 to supply and install… these). The bathrooms are dated; in fact, the guest bath is so dated it is 1950’s retro! The 130617-morton-kitchenhouse would benefit from interior paint, new windows, extending the wide plank hardwood floors from the living/dining areas or adding new carpet, and bathroom updating. Located on a spacious corner lot of over 10,000 feet, the parcel includes two majestic redwoods, three mature oaks, and three soap bark trees. The trees are near the property perimeter so you can develop the rest of the parcel as you choose. The landscape details and final design are up to you. Priced to allow the new owner the ability to integrate all the details and finishes you desire and still enjoy a valuable acquisition.

130617-morton-paintNow that is one chatty agent. This one went on for more than three picture’s worth of listing copy! Can you imagine having to get in the car and go on a house tour with that dude?  You’ll be glad you brought your earbuds!  Now let’s hear from LOL RBA.

Now wait… I have noticed a pattern in Los Altos. Every nice house gets listed for $1495, or $1498… Then sell then sells for $1750 – $1800. 130617-morton-tileEvery not so nice house gets listed for $1150 and sells for around $1300. What on earth is this terrifying listing? Rebuilt in 2000? Wha’?? What did they rebuild? And is this a nice house, destined to sell for $1750 (um…no) or a not so nice house that will sell for $1300, thereby getting no overbids? Regardless, the house will be in escrow within 7 days, like everything else in the RBA.

I love your blog. My favorite stop with my morning coffee. Your fan.  Sent from my iPad

You know you’re in the Real Bay Area when even the little old ladies correspond with an iPad. And LOL-RBA was correct about the 7 day escrow, or was it more like 7 minutes?

Comments (4) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:07 am

June 17, 2013

A Burbed Classic Design Goes Upscale. Way Upscale.

A little more than a year ago we ran a house that had a most unusual addition.  Remember the Budget-Add-A-Room strategy?  Just back a cheap RV next to the house, and… instant extra living space!  Also instant addition to Best of Burbed!

Hey, for a hundred year old house in the East Bay, this is a possible solution to cramped quarters.  Now imagine what this would look like if some la-di-da designer got ahold of this idea and tried staging it to attract some Twithead with more money than taste or sense.  It would probably look like today’s featured listing.

Thanks very much to Burbed reader Michael Boltonestater for this rip-roaring reboot.

130616-norfolk-redfin55 Norfolk St #101
San Francisco, CA 94103
$599,000

HOA Dues: $400/mo.
1 Beds
1 Baths
— Sq. Ft.
Built: 1995
Lot Size: —
On Redfin: 17 days
Status: Active
HOA Dues: $400/month
Style: Modern/High Tech
County: San Francisco
Property Type: Live/Work Unit, Loft Condominium
Community: South of Market
MLS#: 408810

Think Big in this modern SoMa loft! Polished concrete floors, west-facing industrial windows, soaring ceilings make this live/work space special. Floor-to-ceiling glass windows w/ sliding door leads to private outdoor garden. Fire engine red spiral staircase leads mezzanine Master Suite w/ new carpeting, industrial railings, closet. Rare and unusual Winnebago nook creates a private, enclosed space. Kitchen w/ maple cabinetry, stainless steel backsplash, gas range, dishwasher, microwave. Full bathroom and storage area. Deeded parking and laundry in garage. Located at the western edge of SOMA, 55 Norfolk provides the best of SoMa nightlife, dining, shopping, tech companies. Access to shuttle buses, 101, and Bay Bridge makes commuting easy.

Hope you caught that: Access to shuttle buses. That means Google and Facebook, too!  Now, check out the rate and unusual Winnebago nook.

130616-norfolk-winnebago

Not too many listing photos have to come with safety warnings, either.

130616-norfolk-roof

You can tell from this view that unlike the Castro Valley house, this SF loft/condo had to cut things down. You’re only getting a quarter of a Winnebago. Maybe 3 other units also get the “rare and unusual” nook.

130616-norfolk-side

Note that the house with the entire RV went for above asking.

Comments (7) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:09 am

June 15, 2013

Open House Time. Real Open.

130614-hwy14-wtfSpring Bounce will be over very soon, leading to Summer Bummer. So get your open house visits in while there’s still nothing in inventory because foreigners with suitcases full of cash are buying up everything.  Just think, if Bay Area Bubble continues expanding, you can head to Washington and see home décor like this.

Fortunately, in the Real Bay Area, people do not display amateur carvings of naked women mated to boat prows.  You’re far more likely to find a pinball machine or an open wire closet than hundreds of dollars of wood that would be better used as high-quality flooring.

Let us know what you find in this weekend’s open house visits, because this is your weekend’s Open Thread.  Feel free to open your shirt, lean back and stay a while.

Thanks very much to Christin’s Redfin Collections page Just Wow for featuring this… work of… bark.

Comments (1) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:07 am

March 29, 2013

This home is a work of art by true artist’s artistry

We’ve made comments about certain property listings where the photos seem more suited to an art gallery than a home website. Today’s house, though, is in a class by itself for serious WTFness. This San Jose museum masterpiece is so moved miles more than the masonry mainstream that it was nominated by two different Burbed readers within 24 hours: z2amiller and mtv-renter.

Grab your AudioTour listening device, slip on your headphones, and enjoy these curated images from a Cambrian townhouse available right now through your favorite real estate professional.  Or pick your least favorite realtard just to make ‘em have to look at it.

130328-hollyleaf-redfin5692 HOLLYLEAF Ln
San Jose, CA 95118
$485,000

HOA Dues: $329/mo.
2 Beds
2 Baths
1,102 Sq. Ft.
$440 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1973
Lot Size: 2,120 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 9 days
HOA Dues: $329/month
Style: Traditional
Community: Cambrian
MLS#: 81308592
Property Type: Townhouse
View: Green Belt, Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara

This home is a work of art! Upon entering you will be amazed at the artistry of the tile floors and walls These amazing mosaics were designed by a true artist. This colorful home features a remodeled kitchen with granite counters updated appliances copper sink double pane windows 2 spacious patios 2 car garage and a great location in the complex across from a green belt Must See one of kind Home!

Tile? That roof above looks just fine for a place in California.  Although somebody please give this listing agent some punctuation.

130328-hollyleaf-patio130328-hollyleaf-patio2

Ooooookay, the patio is just a touch on the loud side.  Things are about to get louder, so click on through. Warning, eye protection is strongly recommended.

(more…)

Comments (25) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:02 am

March 26, 2013

Photopalooza at Wiz Wigwam that Was Woz’s

As promised, today we’ve got pictures, pictures, pictures from our onsite visit to Steve Wozniak’s old digs. We’ve already featured this house three times, so we’ll just stick to what we found at the Open House this Sunday.  And of course, here’s the listing again.  Note that if you missed it, you have another chance to check it out. On Easter Sunday.

130323-wozhouse-redfin300 SANTA ROSA Dr
Los Gatos, CA 95032
$4,395,000

6 Beds
7 Baths
7,500 Sq. Ft.
$586 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1986
Lot Size: 1.19 Acres
On Redfin: 12 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: Tri-Level
Community: Los Gatos/Monte Sereno
MLS#: 81307599
Style: Modern/High Tech, Contemporary
View: Mountains, Canyon, Valley
County: Santa Clara

Originally built for Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak, This exquisite 7500 sq/ft, 6 Bed, 8 Bath on 1.19 acres, minutes to Los Gatos Blvd, combines post-modern style with majestic natural views. It is a natural abode full of light and warmth Euro chefs kitchen, wraparound terraces. Recent major re-design and renovation, one of a kind indoor/outdoor kids play area, pool w/ waterfall, Koi Pond +++.

Upcoming Open Houses

Sunday, Mar 31: 1:00-4:30 pm

130325-wozon-sculp4saleAnd now for what we discovered!  First, the minute we walked in, we were stunned to see that the place was set up like an art gallery. This was a surprise for a couple of reasons. First, Open Houses are there to showcase the real estate, not the décor, and second, the comments on several of the stories we linked to on Sunday implied that the listing photos were a little, um, minimalist.  Which is a fancy way of saying lots of white paint and little else.

It turned out that not only were most of the sculpture and paintings in the house labeled as if we were in a gallery, they were for sale and the painter and her daughter were there to talk to any interested patrons. The sculptor was her mother (not present). The least we could do is link to their website and show a couple more works of art. Then we could remember that we’re a real estate site, not a fine arts portfolio. And then we could not say anything about the art as our readers excel at critical commentary.  Especially the critical part.

130325-wozon-painting4sale130325-wozon-painter

130325-wozon-music130325-wozon-doorwayYou can check out the listing photos if you want to see the major public rooms and some shots from the master suite. We’re going to show you what they didn’t.  On your left is detail from the music room, and we don’t think this is where they invited the string quartets to play Mozart.  Also the agent helpfully pointed out that this counts as a bedroom, as it has a closet.  The doorway on your right is off the music room and leads to one of a large number of baths.  We’ll get back to them later.

Those baths, the kids’ secret playspace, the cave, and much more await when you click on through!

(more…)

Comments (6) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:01 am

March 19, 2013

Save on Ikea Bunks in Mountain View

Who likes Mountain View? Lots of people, from watching the prices keep rising! So let’s visit another terrific home-buying opportunity in Google’s backyard, thanks to Burbed reader Single Pane Lass.  But there may be trouble in paradise with this piece of property. Why?

It’s been on the market for 31 whole days. That’s like 310 DOM in Stockton!

130318-alice-redfin717 ALICE Ave
Mountain View, CA 94041
$1,300,000

4 Beds
2 Baths
1,654 Sq. Ft.
$786 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1978
Lot Size: 8,932 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 31 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Sylvan Dale
MLS#: 81304634

LOVELY MTN VIEW HOME WITH GOURMET KITCHEN, GRANITE COUNTER TOPS, LAMINATE WOOD FLOORS, WALK IN CLOSETS, SKYLIGHTS, GAS FIREPLACE AND HUGE LOT OF APPROX. 8900 SQ FT! CLOSE TO SHOPPING, PARKS AND DOWNTOWN MOUNTAIN VIEW.

130318-alice-bedroomHere’s why SPL sent in this fine façade in the Fortress.

Here is a wonderful example of how easy and fun it is to be a Professional Real Estate Agent–and a seller– in Silicon Valley these days.

Say you are running an illegal "foreign work program"/youth hostel/sweatshop. Not to worry! Just tell those kids to roll out of their Ikea bunkbeds, hop in the shower, use several towels, and fling them around the bedroom. Snap a few shots, and you’ll be pending in minutes. If anyone asks about why you have six people sleeping in one bedroom, just remind them that you are close to downtown!

130318-alice-unmade-bed130318-alice-bathroom

We’re not sure if these pix are quite good enough to earn a Good Housekeeping Tag of Approval, but this is definitely proof that Bay Area Bubble 4.0 is making agents cocky.

Comments (4) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:06 am