And — holy cow, it’s Friday already.  How about something aspirational for those of you with some seriously studly stock options?  Check out this little lulu in Los Altos!  Thanks very much to long-time Burbed reader/first-time caller RM for this find.

1380 HOLLY Ave
Los Altos, CA 94024
$3,495,000

6 Beds 
6.5 Baths 
4,559 Sq. Ft.
$767 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2009 
Lot Size: 0.28 Acres 
On Redfin: 20 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
View: Mountains, Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara
Stories: 2
Community: South of El Monte
MLS#: 81238438

Quality built architect designed custom home. Features top rated Los Altos School. incl. Oak Ave School. Close to schools and park. Easy access to hwy 85,Foothill & 280.Gourmet Kitchen Overlooking rear Patio, Great master suite. Two Bedroom suites on main floor & Two Mirror Image Suites in Basements. Spacious Livingroom w/ Vaulted ceilings. 4 car garage two car attached two detached oversized.

This was built in 2009?  Srsly?  Just a casual glance gave me all these 1974 tingles.  Now, let’s hear from RM on why this house belongs on the front page.

This is a very odd house for sale in my neighborhood. Garage in the center of the house, two basement bedroom suites, and a giant detached garage in the back, with no paving for the driveway to the back. (And no pictures.) Lap pool combined with swimming pool in a very constrained space.

Check out the google maps for a good overhead view of the oddness. And confetti colored tile in the kitchen and baths. Whoever buys it will be really sorry if they do not remove the redwood by the front driveway, or if they pay $3,495,000.

Wait, there’s a pool?  Is it in the Basements?

When did “confetti tile” become A Thing?  Didn’t we ran a house recently that had the same fascinating design choice?  Well, there was this.

Alas, this Quality built architect designed custom home is 441 square feet too small to merit the ginormous tag.

We’ve mentioned a few times that this site’s founder, burbed, has a jones for pink houses. Today’s house is pink… but only on the inside.  Open wide, say Ahhh, and and have a look at this marvelous maison in Milpitas!  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Tracy Tea House for sending in this rancho rosa real.

2258 Devon Place
Milpitas CA 95035
$914,888

Play virtual tour (powered by Trulia Pro)

Est. payment: 
Bedrooms: 4 
Bathrooms: 3 
62 days on Trulia
862 views
Property type: Single-Family Home
Size: 2,700 sqft
Lot: 0.25 acres
Price/sqft: $339/sqft
Year built: 1985
MLS/ID: ML81231332
Zip: 95035

Detached, Traditional – Milpitas, CA
This custom Shapell Home is now on the market for the 1st time! Immaculate Condition!! This Beautiful home has been cared for & loved by the same owners for 26 years.*Formal Living, Family & Dining room, Breakfast nook, High ceiling through out *Master Suite w/walk-in closet, tub w/jets, *Private laundry room *New Tile, double pane windows, plantation shutters, video security system, Huge Lot with tons of possibilities & MUCH MORE!!

Here’s what Tracy thought about the decor.

Wow  so nice and in Milpitas too. Yeah, it’s a little close to 680, but all in all seems pleasant enough. I am sending this house to you because of the decorating. I didn’t even see the inside of the house, I was too distracted by the pastel color schemes…

This house is 26 years old? This dining room reminds me of some model condos we toured back in 1984.  So that means the current owners were only two years behind the latest decorating trends… assuming they never updated another thing once they furnished this home.

Providentially, there’s plenty more pink photos to peruse.  Please, enjoy them after the break.

(more…)

And it’s time for yet another week of Real Bay Area Realty.  Really!  Let’s begin the week in Mountain View, because it’s the Borg of Burbed.  You WILL be assimilated.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader ctar for sending us this magnificent manse… which of course has already sold.

683 Mountain View Ave
Mountain View, CA 94041
Listed for $985,000
Sold 9/25/12 for $940,000

Zestimate® $1,008,421
Est. Mortgage $3,289/mo
Beds: 3
Baths: 2
Sqft: 1,272
Lot: 4,999 sq ft / 0.11 acres
Type: Single Family
Year built: 1946
Construction quality: 6.0
County: Santa Clara
Garage sqft: 360
Last remodel year: 1946
Legal description: –
Lot depth: 100
Lot width: 50
Parcel #: 15430046
Per floor sqft: 1,272
Total rooms: 6
# Stories: 1.0
Structure type: Other

Carefully maintained 1 owner home in desirable location near downtown. Fresh interior paint and great curb appeal, this home has a gas stove, refrigerator and dishwasher in the kitchen, featuring a breakfast bar and nook. Ceiling fans in the eating area and all bedrooms. 2 car garage partially converted to finished room; parking is now 1 car garage plus carport. Beautifully landscaped yard.

When ctar sent this find to burbed, here was the accompanying commentary:

Thought you would appreciate this one – ridiculous.

burbed noted, when forwarding this submission on to our extensive team of content creators:

You’re right! It’s ridiculously below market!

As we’ve been telling you for months, Mountain View is hot, hot, HOT so the home sold long before we could get to it.  What do you think the lucky new owner is going to do with this vintage decor? We’d be disappointed if the house got flipped, because the current fixtures are so full of win.

Also this is one of the few houses with pictures of every room that managed not to show any of the toilets.  For that we award this listing the Burbed George “the Grocer” Whipple Bath Tissue Award, for real estate bathroom photography most appropriate for a 1960s sitcom.

There weren’t any toilets in those 1960s television houses, either.

Bunus: Close to Shoreline Boulevard.  Real close!

Happy Friday!  Let’s finish out the week with a super structure in Saratoga, courtesy of Burbed reader wahnny!  And break out the red arrows, because we’re hunting mawbul kawlums!

15181 BELLECOURT Ave
Saratoga, CA 95070
$6,000,000

5 Beds 
5.5 Baths 
6,600 Sq. Ft.
$909 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2003 
Lot Size: 1.02 Acres 
On Redfin: 10 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
County: Santa Clara
Style: French
Community: Saratoga
MLS#: 81236964

This unbelvble Gorgeous French Style Masterpiece Estate is spanned graciously on one level. Magestic & quality craftd, combind w/ architctural excellnce. Nestld in most desirble & prestigious area of SAR * Situatd on a Flat Acr+, * Guest Hse * amazing Media Rm/cinema * Game Rm * Exercise Rm w/ steam showr * 2Family Rms/wings * invitng grounds w/ Pool & Spa perfect4 entertainng * Orchrd * Nr downtwn-sar schls-Not a cornr lot

Was this house listed on Twitter before they put it on MLS?  With 6600 square feet of living space, certainly the broker could make room to stage some more vowels.

Now heeeeeeeeeere’s wahnny on why this wigwam’s a winner!

It’s been a while since multimillion+ RBA houses were featured on Burbed, but I just came across one that seems to go overboard in its ostentatiousness.

The house looks like an ad-hoc mishmash of architectural styles, with each room having different themes, some with painted ceilings, and of course, mawbul kawlums galore!

Curious who the seller/realtor thinks will be attracted to such a place, especially at their asking price.

We’re curious how high the overbidding on this kawlumned kastle will be when it’s so unbelvble.  We’ve included some more pictures for your perusal in case you doubt its awesomitude.  But we’re thinking of calling shenanigans on the home theater.  Either every high-end installation looks and photographs exactly the same, or the picture’s been nicked from another listing.

Bunus: See if you can figure out how this one acre property on the corner of Bellecourt and Highway 9 is not a cornr lot.

Want to live on the Peninsula but don’t have a million dollars?  Have we got a house for you!  Not just a lower price, but a unique opportunity on a regal rarely-seen ranch, now on the front page of Burbed!  And of course it’s in Redwood City!

1146 LYONS St
Redwood City, CA 94061
$649,950

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,380 Sq. Ft.
$471 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1953
Lot Size: 6,160 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 10 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
View: Neighborhood
County: San Mateo
Stories: 1
Community: Central Park
MLS#: 81236863

First time on the market in 40+ yrs. 3 bdr, 2 ba. Kitchen and bathrooms updated in 2004. Bonus room off the garage is perfect for a tv room, exercise rm or home office space. Backyard swimming pool and covered patio enhance outdoor entertaining. Garage is finished w/ panneling and vinyl flooring and versatile for 2 cars parked inside or use as a big game room. Laundry room in garage.

They don’t build them like they used to! No wonder Sothebys International is representing this primo property.  This house must have been masterly staged, or maybe it’s sitting on a 14 karat gold foundation.

Not every garage is finished w/ panneling and vinyl flooring! So versatile! Park 2 cars inside or use as a big game room.

Although if you want to use the garage as a big game room, wouldn’t you need a place to mount the shotgun racks as well as a ground-based hunting blind?  Sheesh, at least you’d want a Tree Stand?  Just be sure none of this gets in the way of the laundry room.

Plus the Redfin agent has some food for thought:

Interesting Eichler house but needs significant amount of work. Interior is a bit dark and bedrooms are on the smaller side. There is a bonus room with a fire pitoff the garage – permits should be verified.

Why verify permits? If there’s a fire pitoff the garage, some accidents were meant to happen on purpose.

Today’s featured home was sent in by Burbed reader waiting_for_the_fall.  We’re delighted to receive it, not only because this is the first contribution from this long-time regular we’ve seen in a while (or maybe even ever), but also because it’s from a part of the Bay Area we don’t cover as often as Silicon Valley.  This house is in the East Bay, and a part we don’t get too many nominations for, and best of all, it’s selling for less than not a lot of money.

Remember, if a house is in Northern California, it too can be Burbable!  Send your favorites on in to one of the email addresses in the upper right corner.

8633 Briarwood Ln
Dublin, CA 94568
$425,000

Zestimate® $406,121
Est. Mortgage $1,489/mo
Beds: 4
Baths: 2
Sqft: 1,338
Lot: 7,649 sq ft / 0.18 acres
Type: Single Family
Year built: 1963
On Zillow: 1030 days
MLS #: 40562786
View Virtual Tour (opens new tab)

This is a four bedroom/two bathroom home with 1338 sq. ft. The roof is approximately nine years old and Dual Pane Windows throughout. Plus Converted garage into a large beautiful family room w/storage. The living room has a gas burning fireplace. Huge private backyard with a large patio and tall trees. RV Access Parking is a PLUS!

Here’s what wftf said when sending us this place:

Will you please check out the price fluctuations on this craptastic house?  It made me dizzy reading the wild price gyrations on zillow.
And it is pending!

I give up.  The banks are winning.

Did you know you can’t spell wftf without wtf?  Because wtf is definitely the best reaction to the price gyrations on Zillow.

So is this house in the Real Bay Area or isn’t it?  It more than doubled in the ten years between 1996 and 2005, but then… not so much.  Since buying this house for 630 big ones, the current owner has tried listing it at $674K just two years later, and then started throwing prices at the wall seeing if any of them would stick.  Not sticking in addition to $674K were just under $600K (with lucky 8s!!!), reducing it to $429K (just 3 months later). 

Price goes down, price goes up.  Plus at least four different agents, at four different brokers.  It all adds up to an eyepopping over thousand day old listing!

Then again, perhaps this lovely room is what’s keeping the buyers away, since it appears to have girl cooties.

Good morning, Burbed readers!  It’s time for another wonderful week of wigwam winning, only we’re too danged wiped out to do anything about it.  That’s where our readers come in!

Burbed reader mabel du has graciously sent in a real estate find, complete with a very appropriate set of commentary.  That means mabel du is today’s Guest Blogger, so we’re going back to bed.  Please give mabel du a big, warm, Real Bay Area welcome with this guest post: a hella-fine hacienda in Half Moon Bay.  And somebody, please get this blogger a keyboard that includes a SHIFT key.

Want to see your name in lights as one of our Guest Bloggers?  Send in your best (by which we mean worst) property listing with your best (by which we really do mean best) writeup!

337 Mirada Rd
Half Moon Bay, CA 94019
For Sale $3,375,000

Zestimate® $2,872,044
Est. Mortgage $11,733/mo
Beds: 2
Baths: 3.5
Sqft: 5,200
Lot: 7,840 sq ft / 0.18 acres
Type: Multi Family
Year built: 1993
On Zillow: 59 days
MLS #: 81228527
County: San Mateo
Elementary school: El Granada Elementary School
High school: Half Moon Bay High School
Legal description: –
Neighborhood name: Miramar City of Naples
Parcel #: –
Per floor sqft: 5,200
Zillow Home ID: 2130285115

Break away from the crowd and live your dream. Work and live on the ocean while minutes from town. Unobstructed ocean view, private mixed-use building. first floor for retail, second floor for large work space. third floor portion of 200 sqft offers 180 degree ocean and white sand beach views. 2 beds, 2 baths, with state of the art kitchen.

 

and now, for something completely different.  as in, not in Mountain View (still the reigning center of the universe).

someone’s been trying to unload this fortress/prison/ugly thang for 4 years, and have run through a few realtors in their misguided attempt to make a profit in a declining market.  i hear concrete prices are way up;  might make more sense to try that route instead of the overpriced beach fortress with a view.

nice views?  yep.  nice house?  not so much.

sold in 2005 for $3.1 mill at the top of the market.  i’m sure the current owner is completely confused as to why this concrete monster hasn’t sold for a profit – in the past 4 years of listings.

redfin – Special pictures

check out pic #20 – hello mr. chair!   thanks to realtor elizabeth for providing a picture of a chair.  now THAT makes me want to drop $3.4 mil on this concrete blob.

pic# 23 – is that another shot of lonely mr. chair?  (That’s the deck photo right above the Price History  —ed.)

wait a sec, mr. chair found himself a mrs.,  and they both pop up in random inside (pic #18) and outside shots.  nice staging (i.e. cheap)…

poor mr. chair has been running laps in that place.

Today’s fistful of awesome in Alum Rock is brought to you by Burbed reader Tracy Tea House. Thanks very much for this foothill find!

15865 East Alta Vista Way
San Jose – East Valley, CA 95127
$499,000

3 bedroom, 1 bathroom, 1 partial bath, 1,570 square feet, Single Family
Lot Size: 15,794 Sq. Ft.
Year Built: 1950
Days on ZipRealty: 34
Listed: 08/09/12
Price/sq ft: $318
Estimated Monthly Payment: $1,737
Neighborhood: East Foothills
School District: Alum Rock Union Elementary School District, East Side Union High School District
Source: MLSListings Inc.
MLS #: 81229860
Views: 61
Popularity: 8
Walk Score®: 9

Large yard w/deck & view of downtown SJ & Silicon Valley — marvelous! Newly improved driveway. Home is in move-in condition. Bonus room could be 3rd bedroom. Shows well. Level site on lot. Quiet residential hillside neighborhood is minutes away from shopping & parks. Not a through street — EAST Alta Vista Way has only a few (somewhat enormous) houses on it. Enjoy the view!

And here’s why Tracy chose this house out of thousands just for you!

Near a few enormous houses.  Truly poor photography. Value fail, great list copy.

What are you talking about?  This is great photography!  Do you have any idea how hard a photographer has to work to compose images like these?  Anyone can take pictures of a house, but this?  This transcends the artform by questioning its purpose.

For example, is the front of that fireplace actually carpeted?  Or is it a ginormous piece of hard candy?  Only a truly gifted photographer could make you wonder like that.

And instant equity galore!  Just check out the price history!  In no time flat the market’s going to heat up to eleven and every property price in this county will double in eleven minutes.  Yes, you read it here first.  The Real Bay Area is back, it’s booming, and it’s bettuh than evuh!

And let’s wrap another exciting week of real estate win with this Burlingame bonanza!  We’ll show you the house, you find as many intriguing pieces of flair as possible.

1515 CAROL Ave
Burlingame, CA 94010
$965,000

2 Beds 
1.5 Baths 
1,570 Sq. Ft.
$615 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1920 
Lot Size: 5,250 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 4 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Burlingame Park
MLS#: 81230242
Style: Traditional
View: Neighborhood
County: San Mateo

cute & cozy home near schools, Safeway, restaurant, transportation & Burlingame shpping area. Livin rm w/ woodburing frplc, spacious formal dining, updated kit w/ eating area, 2 bedrm both are master suite, plus a den( Can be used as a play rm or office ) separate parking garage. Crown molding, hardwd flr throughout, recess lighting in the den, separate laundry rm w/ 0.5 bath. Needs TLC. Great flr plan.

The dining room has a cooler on wheels with a coffee pot atop, but the kitchen features a recumbant pineapple.  Keep looking through the photos, because there’s lots more to find in this Burlingame bungalow!  Does this property merit a Good Housekeeping tag of approval, or does the owner merely have a whimsical way with staging?

Bunus: DHO (Dog Hanging Out) in photo #7!  Any idea what’s in that shopping bag?  It must be important!

If it doesn’t, it’s time to chuck your fridge.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader nomadic for passing along this fascinating article.

So Long, Stainless: Whirlpool Introduces a New Finish For Premium Kitchens

 

By Keith Barry, July 18, 2012, Refrigerator Info

The stainless steel appliance hegemony has ended.

On Monday, Whirlpool introduced a new premium exterior finish that they call “White Ice.” With clean lines, silver accents and streamlined controls, the new collection’s refrigerator, range, dishwasher, and microwave are a departure from the flash and glitz of stainless steel and its many lookalikes. In fact, the combination of a white finish, stainless handles and mirrored glass appear to have a lot in common with Apple’s popular design language.

The streamlined new look combines with simplified features that Whirlpool says will make the appliances easier to use. “In addition to the intuitive technology, the line takes a fresh look at appliance design and features flawless exteriors that add beauty to any home,” said Pat Schiavone, Whirlpool’s VP of Global Consumer Design.

Here’s why nomadic sent along a clipping from Refrigerator Info (and I do not want to ask why any Burbed reader would also be checking out that site).

You can be the first real estate blog to report the death of stainless!  No more pergranisteel…

And the inspiration is coming from Silicon Valley!

Yes, this is going to look just great in all those new white kitchens with the emphasis on wood rather than a wall of stainless steel.  Because if your kitchen doesn’t look like a foodie version of an Apple Store, then you’re obviously still living in 2001.

Which is when the first Apple Store opened.

Update: The Sunday piece is a thinky one, so deposit your open thread comments here.