Let’s finish out our workweek with a magnificent Menlo Park manse, courtesy of Burbed reader Moxie Girl.  And fortunately, Moxie has enough to say about this luscious listing that she’s sitting in as today’s Guest Blogger.

So please give her a big, warm, Real Bay Area welcome and enjoy this Burbed Guest Post!

1427 GARWOOD Way (Unable to map)
Menlo Park, CA 94025
$699,950

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2.5
SQ. FT.: 1,655
$/SQ. FT.: $423
LOT SIZE: 4,503 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Traditional
STORIES: 2
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 2000
COMMUNITY: Middlefield to El Camino
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81207110
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 13 days

Fantastic like new 3BD/2.5BA for under $700,000 in Menlo Park. Spacious living area, hardwood floors, crown molding, new paint & carpets and beautiful kitchen wih granite counter top tiles, walk in pantry. Private yard with deck & grass area. Close to downtown. Price is right!

I found another gem. This one is based in Menlo Park, for which I have deep affection, having worked and briefly rented there for some years. But hold the train (literally), folks, here is an RBA winner. Now this is clearly a steal: RBA real estate in the highly desired downtown Menlo Park area, and such a bargain it’s priced for $699,950, which just squeaks by at $50 under $700,000. But how can this be, you ask? Surely nothing in the desirable 94025 zip code can be for sale for such a ridiculously low price! Au contraire, mon ami.

Now, the first glaring bit of information that is odd is the “unable to map” in the header line of the address. Clearly the real estate agent thinks savvy buyers are incapable of mapping the true address of this property.

Luckily for us, one of Redfin’s cracking real estate team does note from a tour last September that the property is literally next door to a PG&E power facility. AND, based on the Google map…within about 20 steps of Caltrain train tracks. That’s right. Southern view/bedroom window: power facility; eastern view/from front door: gravelly train tracks. So you’ll be humming and/or rattling to your heart’s content as you revel in the fact that you are now living in the sought-after 94025 zip code you always longed for.

Well played, “Eliz. Bianchini, Coldwell Banker-Woodside” (from Redfin listing). Can we really trust someone to publish correct information about a listing when she can’t be bothered to fully spell out her first name? Just wondering.

Let’s return to Menlo Park, where burbed reader Herve has another terrific find for us.  Fortunately, this one is on the Right Side of 101 and won’t cost you much more than the Wrong Side.

316 Yale Rd  Menlo Park, CA 94025
$1,445,000

Beds: 4
Baths: 2
Sq. Ft.: 1,720
$/Sq. Ft.: $840
Lot Size: 7,500 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Cottage/Bungalow
Stories: 1
View: Neighborhood
Year Built: 1939
Community: Allied Arts/Downtown
County: San Mateo
MLS#: 81008340
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active
On Redfin: 214 days

HUGE PRICE REDUCTION! Prime Allied Arts property. Great opportunity to remodel, or start fresh. Close to many schools, Walking distance to downtown Menlo Park, Stanford University and downtown Palo Alto. Nestled in the most prestigious Allied Arts neighborhood, directly and centrally located to ???EVERYTHING that is Menlo Park at its FINEST???.

Other than the bizarre last sentence, as agent copy goes this is reasonably literate.  There’s proper use of nouns, verbs, adjectives, punctuation, and the full range of capitals and miniscules.  So what’s the mystery about this house?  For $1.45 million, shouldn’t we get a few pictures inside?

The problem is the street name.   Not just anybody can show up and demand admission.  You have to fill out a lengthy application with letters of reference, transcripts, and overwrought personal essays.  A substantial bribe donation to the Development Department seller can work wonders.  Then, perhaps, you might earn a spot inside.

Then again, maybe listing a house on Yale near College, a block from University, has given the agent some foolish ideas.  Perhaps that marketing strategy doesn’t work as well for a house as it does for an Ivy League school.  The results speak for themselves: 214 days on Redfin.

Hint: To market the house as if it’s a top school, the price should be going up.