That’s right, who doesn’t love a pink house?  Especially a pink house in San Jose!  How about East San Jose, because that’s what Burbed reader Tracy Tea House has found for us.  And once more, you are TOO LATE.  Seriously, would you get off your butt and buy another house? Do you want to be PRICED OUT FOREVER in Bubble 4.0?

50 PICKFORD Ave
San Jose, CA 95127
Listed for $324,950
Sold for $391,000 on 11/28/2012

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,381 Sq. Ft.
$283 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1930
Lot Size: 10,000 Sq. Ft.
Sold On: Nov 28, 2012
Status: Sold
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
County: Santa Clara
Style: Craftsman
Community: Alum Rock
MLS#: 81239001

BANK OWNED REO! Excellent opportunity to own a home with lots of upside potential. Property has two garages, both have had permits pulled but never finaled. Property needs lots of work and is to be sold in its present “AS IS” condition. Home is in fairly good condition inside but you will need to replace some doors and windows. Some kitchen appliances are missing.

Opportunity! Potential! Fairly good condition! Unfinaled permits! Bank Owned REO! (What other kinds of REO are there?) What are you waiting for, don’t walk, don’t run, rent a helicopter and FLY over there right now!  Let’s listen in on Tracy’s nomination speech:

Pink and dismal. So much more than “some of the appliances are missing.” How about the sheet rock? Stinking Pink, tiny halls, open toilets, this bank owned house has it all.

Is this the “RBA?” I like the three pictures of the street in the wild west of East San José.

Wild West is right, they even show the broken windows.  We don’t know where Tracy got the above shot because it’s not on Redfin, and ZipRealty wanted us to sign in (As If, ZipR!)

Enjoy the pictures.  We included a bunch, because we never know when some real estate site will make us sign in.  The street, the open toilet, and many more right after the break.

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Listings tend to fall into certain kinds of categories here at Burbed.  There’s your all around crapshack, usually sold for the land value and no pictures inside.  There’s your overbuilt flip that’s wrong for the neighborhood.  There’s your overbuilt “dream home” that’s wrong for any neighborhood, and its cousin, the nightmare home whose builder ran out of money. Burbed reader Tracy Tea House has found us something else entirely over in East San Jose: winner of the wtf tag.

1764 Mount Kenya Dr
San Jose, CA 95127
Not for Sale

Zestimate $434,672
Rent Zestimate $2,549/mo
Est. Mortgage $1,507/mo

Beds: 5
Baths: 2
Sqft: 1,884
Lot: 5,662 sq ft / 0.13 acres
Type: Single Family
Year built: 1961
Construction quality: 6.0
County: Santa Clara
Last remodel year: 1961
Legal description: TRACT 2450 MT PLEASANT BOOK 132 PAGE1 7 LOT 792
Lot depth: 105
Lot width: 54
Parcel #: 64724054
Per floor sqft: 1,884
Total rooms: 7
# Stories: 2.0
Structure type: Other
Unit cnt: 1
Zillow Home ID: 19786732

Split level home with so much potential. Three bedrooms upstairs and two downstairs. Open floor plan with large living room. Inside laundry. Downstairs bedrooms may be locked but rest of the house is view-able. Large separate storage room outside, detached workshop. Some double-pane windows. Home needs front and back landscaping, has nice decorative stone wall. Good handyman special.

We’re not going to let a little thing like the house not being for sale stop us.  Besides, Movoto’s got it for $350,000.

Here’s what Tracy had to say when sending in this Alum Rock redoubt:

Do not drink before viewing these pictures!

Oh wow. Wrong in so many ways, but the picture of the kitchen is a first for me! This house just hit the market for 350K

What, you’ve never seen green cabinets before?  Oh, you mean this one.

We don’t think we’ve ever seen one of those in a kitchen before either.  Guess putting it outside isn’t that good an idea.

Bunus: Check out the (five years) old listing photos currently on Redfin.

It’s Halloween!  We’d love to hear what you’re dressed up as today, and what your kids are wearing to their Real Bay Area schools!  But first, the trick. 

Burbed reader Tracy Tea House is serving this San Jose special today, and we’ll leave it for you to unwrap.  Remember, Tracy likes Trulia for listings, so you can too.

1747 Vollmer Way
San Jose CA 95116
$429,900

Reduced $20,000 on 10/12/12
Est. payment: 
Bedrooms: 4 
Bathrooms: 2 full, 2 partial 
29 days on Trulia
171 views
Property type: Single-Family Home
Size: 1,658 sqft
Lot: Ask agent
Price/sqft: $259/sqft
Year built: 1947
MLS/ID: 81236242
Neighborhood: Alum Rock, 95116

San Jose, CA – Single Family Detached
Description provided by Trulia
This Single-Family Home located at 1747 Vollmer Way, San Jose CA is currently for sale and has been listed on Trulia for 29 days. This property is listed by CENTURY 21 Alpha for $429,900. 1747 Vollmer Way has 4 beds, 4 baths, and approximately 1,658 square feet. The price per square foot is $259. The property was built in 1947. 1747 Vollmer Way is in the Alum Rock neighborhood in San Jose, CA.

Here’s what you get when you ring this doorbell:

Lord Voldemort’s street… This one scares me and the listing croppy is just that, strange and mystifying. Seems like, from the satellite,  there is some kind of evil carnival located on the street behind.

Listing copy?  We see no listing copy here.    Redfin says, menacingly, “There are no remarks available.”  Maybe Lord Voldemort… disposed of it… along with the lot size the agent won’t disclose online. Hint: 6477 sf per Redfin. They also have three completely different photos, including this kitchen as classic “before” snap, and a yard perfect for burying mistakes.

Now here’s a treat: pictures inside the house from three years ago.  Plus an even older listing (nine years! for $388K! with overbidding!), no photos but actual description:

MOTIVATED SELLERS HAVE ALREADY FOUND REPLACEMENT HOME AND READY TO MAKE A DEAL NEW ROOF HAS BEEN DONE WITH GUTTERS * * * TILE KITCHEN, FRENCH DOORS TO BACKYARD CENTRALLY LOCATED TO FREEWAYS AND SHOPPING * * GARAGE CONV. PERMITS UNKNOWN

Like Dr. Frankenstein, we’re digging up pieces all over the place to assemble this monster.  Movoto cached the recent listing description!

Price:  $429,900
Loan Payment:  $1,497/mo
Bedrooms:  4
Bathrooms:  3
Size:  1,658 sqft
$/Sqft:  $259/sqft
Type:  Single Family House
Year Built:  1947
Lot Size:  6,477
Days on Movoto:  26 days
Neighborhood:  Alum Rock
MLS#:  81236242
Status:  Pending – Do Not Show

This is a very large home at a reasonable price. Look no further for these one`s in a life time opportunity home. Close to all convenience for your benefit.

That does sound creepy.  Have a look at the carnival and Happy Halloween!

Today’s fistful of awesome in Alum Rock is brought to you by Burbed reader Tracy Tea House. Thanks very much for this foothill find!

15865 East Alta Vista Way
San Jose – East Valley, CA 95127
$499,000

3 bedroom, 1 bathroom, 1 partial bath, 1,570 square feet, Single Family
Lot Size: 15,794 Sq. Ft.
Year Built: 1950
Days on ZipRealty: 34
Listed: 08/09/12
Price/sq ft: $318
Estimated Monthly Payment: $1,737
Neighborhood: East Foothills
School District: Alum Rock Union Elementary School District, East Side Union High School District
Source: MLSListings Inc.
MLS #: 81229860
Views: 61
Popularity: 8
Walk Score®: 9

Large yard w/deck & view of downtown SJ & Silicon Valley — marvelous! Newly improved driveway. Home is in move-in condition. Bonus room could be 3rd bedroom. Shows well. Level site on lot. Quiet residential hillside neighborhood is minutes away from shopping & parks. Not a through street — EAST Alta Vista Way has only a few (somewhat enormous) houses on it. Enjoy the view!

And here’s why Tracy chose this house out of thousands just for you!

Near a few enormous houses.  Truly poor photography. Value fail, great list copy.

What are you talking about?  This is great photography!  Do you have any idea how hard a photographer has to work to compose images like these?  Anyone can take pictures of a house, but this?  This transcends the artform by questioning its purpose.

For example, is the front of that fireplace actually carpeted?  Or is it a ginormous piece of hard candy?  Only a truly gifted photographer could make you wonder like that.

And instant equity galore!  Just check out the price history!  In no time flat the market’s going to heat up to eleven and every property price in this county will double in eleven minutes.  Yes, you read it here first.  The Real Bay Area is back, it’s booming, and it’s bettuh than evuh!

Burbed loves East San Jose, because some of the best properties can be found here.  That is, if by “best” we actually mean “Can you believe this?”  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Tracy Tea House for proving once more, that when it comes to housing, Alum Rocks!

1412 Mount Herman Drive
San Jose, CA 95127
$300,000

Status: Withdrawn
Bedrooms: 4
Bathrooms: 3
Property type: Single Family Residential
Size: 1,368 sqft
Lot: 0.12 acres
Price/sqft: $219/sqft
Year built: 1961
Added on Trulia: 180+ days ago
Neighborhood: Alum Rock
Zip: 95127

The property has been maintain by sellers. With the converted garage, you have additional living area. Lots of parking space, nice front yard, rear room converted! Brokered And Advertised By: PN Real Estate Group Listing Agent: Louis Montalvo

Here’s why Tracy thought you’d love this place:

Here is a shack that proves the point, interior pictures are unnecessary anymore. Now if you can just “maintain” yourself, all rooms are converted. Even the car  has been covered, and probably converted.

These photographs have so much artistry in them, and such a unique point of view. The detail shot of the concrete is inspiring me. As a bonus, you will not be able to leave the house by car twice a day. If you want to walk however, the school has crossing guards.

Now wait, this house is Special.  It has been maintain by sellers, something one rarely finds in buying a house from them.

Bunus: the reason this house was withdrawn is that it got foreclosed on April 2nd. 

Thanks very much to Burbed reader sonarrat for this essential elegance in East San Jose! 

1613 ORLEANS Dr
San Jose, CA 95122
$300,000

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,283
$/SQ. FT.: $234
LOT SIZE: 5,562 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Contemporary
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1968
COMMUNITY: Alum Rock
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81200318
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 98 days

nothing

There simply are no other words for how awesome this listing is.  Or exactly how much this agent is willing to do to sell it.

San Jose: Crews use huge trucks to clear junk from hoarder home

By Mark Gomez, San Jose Mercury News
Posted:   03/15/2012 06:24:40 AM PDT, Updated:   03/15/2012 08:03:03 AM PDT

Crews were in their second day at a San Jose home removing mountains of debris so massive that workers used two hauling trucks, each capable of carrying 72,380 pounds of material, to get the job done.

As of Wednesday morning, they still hadn’t made their way into the backyard.

The extreme makeover at 226 S. Claremont Ave. began Tuesday after a vote last month by the Santa Clara County Board of Supervisors to declare the residence a public nuisance. The piles of junk, garbage and other items, including worn out bicycles, car tires and animal cages, had become so vast that it was visible from satellite photos.

The cleanup, which is expected to take about five days, ends a years-long struggle for neighbors who live in the otherwise well-kept neighborhood located off Alum Rock Avenue.

Thanks very much to Burbed reader Tracy Tea House, who had sent in an earlier story about the residents complaining about the massive piles of garbage at this house.  Looks like once this story hit both what’s left of a newspaper as well as on KGO-7 television news, the County finally took action.

Neighbors have been trying to have the grounds cleaned up since 2005.  Cleanup orders and fines were ignored by Richard Baker, the 58 year old son of the registered homeowners.  People fortunate enough to live near this local attraction suggested that Richard might be a few hundred square feet short of a McMansion.

Robert and Bessie Baker, Richard Baker’s parents, have both been deceased for ten years, so management of the house was transferred to the Office of the Public Guardian.  This agency will be responsible for inventorying whatever is in the house, as opposed to the mountains of garbage outside mostly headed for the landfill.  Anything of value inside or out would be saved for the Bakers’ estate, over and above this valuable residence.  In addition to Richard, the Bakers also have a daughter living in Santa Cruz who was only located recently.

Richard had been living in the house while collecting treasures, but not recently.  He did show up at the County hearing to object to the the home’s being declared a public nuisance, although the neither the Murk nor KGO-7 reported on what his reasons were.  He attempted to postpone the hearing because he had been in the hospital, but was unsuccessful. We’d guess the County’s embarrassment over things getting to this point trumped a hospital stay.  Remember all those fines Richard blew off?  Guess they did.

Okay, enough rewording the newspaper and TV articles.  Let’s have a look at this house.

Better have a good look at the driveway, too.

Wow, the Streetviews actually look worse than the satellite view.  And someone updated this record recently even though the house wasn’t for sale.

So here’s a way Richard (right) and his sister (who had the sense not to show up when cameras were rolling) could save even more money.  We know the County’s going to stick them with that clean-up bill, so every little bit is going to help!

Thanks for the advice, Trulia!  Anyway, do you have a neighbor building a fortification on the front lawn like this?  Tell us about it in today’s Weekend Open Thread!

Foreclosure rattles upscale San Jose neighborhood, and tenants

By Pete Carey, San Jose Mercury News
Posted:   03/14/2012 05:53:36 PM PDT, Updated: 03/15/2012 10:14:37 AM PDT

The two-story home in the East San Jose foothills could belong to any well-to-do family, but step through the door and you’re inside a million-dollar suburban foreclosure quagmire.

More than a dozen adults and their pets have been living in a warren of rented rooms in the foreclosed house, turning a tranquil cul-de-sac into what one upset neighbor called "a nightmare for all of us living on that block."

According to attorneys for the tenants, the former owner was renting out rooms — including the laundry room and a living room split in two — in the months after the home was foreclosed by the bank. They claim she never told tenants about the foreclosure. Now the tenants face eviction in a hearing to be held Thursday in Santa Clara County Superior Court.

San Jose police officers have responded 16 times since September to resolve disputes and disturbances at the five bedroom, four bath home on La Castellet Court, where houses are valued at $1 million or more. The city’s code enforcement department says it has an open case on the house.      

Remember the Cubicle House?  This owner simply took that idea one step further now that rentals beat office space.

For all of you who have been criticizing the idea of The Real Bay Area versus The Part That Is Not, this should definitively settle those arguments.  Things like this simply Do Not Happen In The Real Bay Area.  If someone in Los Altos Hills were to notice 15 cars parked along the street in front of the 4,000 square foot housing tumor next door, Code Enforcement would not merely say they have “an open case on the house.”

And in Palo Alto, every one of those vehicles would have collected parking tickets within 2 hours and 10 minutes.

Anyway, our intrepid reporters have tracked down the house in question.

Unfortunately for purposes of journalistic outrage, the Streetview photo does not have the aforementioned excess vehicle collection.

Zillow can show us the neighborhood values.

Homeowners here certainly may have paid over a million for this area, but Zillow has a disturbing lack of faith in their reported valuations.  The expressway-like street against the backyards is Aborn. 

And if you’re wondering why the FB felt the need to fill this home chock-a-block with tenants while hiding from Bank of America, wait until you hear the bubblicious price paid for this place: $1,580,000 on Halloween of 2006. 

Today’s prestigious property was sent in by Burbed reader Tracy.  You know that saying about shutting the barn door after the horses run away?  These barn doors are wide open, and the barnyard is large.  Deep, too.  Come to Peacock Canyon, and breathe in the fresh air.

UPDATE at end of article.

16235 ALUM ROCK Ave
San Jose, CA 95127
$320,000

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,400
$/SQ. FT.: $229
LOT SIZE: 2.17 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 2
VIEW: Mountains, Canyon
YEAR BUILT: 1900
COMMUNITY: Alum Rock
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81208053
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 11 days

Historic ALum Rock Stables is ready for a new start. 12 stall horse stable as well as level lot that could be used for a home or possibly an arena. Gourgeous views of Peacock Canyon and access to the Alum Rock Regional Park make this an ideal location for the horseman or naturist.

Here’s why Tracy sent this listing in for some Burbed loving.

I have fantasized about this place, many times when it has been on the market. It looks to be located midway down a landslide, but that might just be me. The view is amazing, and the price seems right, but it is a crap shack, so qualifies for the burbed treatment.

It certainly does!  This place sold for an eye-popping $1.2 million in 2006, which means it’s worth almost two million now.  What a deal the bank is offering. 

And go over to the Redfin listing to check out the pictures, because this is another one of those homes for visually organized people where every room is painted a different very bright primary color.  Maybe the FBs were running a daycare along with the horse business.

Given how old the structures are, these are in surprising good shape!  They were built in the 19th Century, yet modernization was allowed to happen.  Look, they even installed indoor plumbing!

Now if you really want some cognitive dissonance with your morning coffee, check out Zillow’s price history:

You let those horses out of the barn, and the barn is now worth less than it was 21 years ago.  Then again, Zillow has a completely different set of pictures for the property, so that could explain the discrepancy.  Also a different address.  Maybe these are competing Alum Rock Stables properties.

Well, one address or the other is an ideal location for the horseman or naturist.  I just wonder if the Realtard who wrote this copy knows what a naturist is.

Update 12:15 pm: The Redfin link above is now bouncing to 11125 Canon Vista Ave, with 2006 information. And different pictures since that’s a previous listing. It also says that property is pending as of today.  Head over to Trulia to see the above pictures and copy, while you can.

Today’s Adventure in Realtard Listing Copy is courtesy of Burbed reader Tracy.  Thanks very much for separating the wheat from the chaff, and sending us the chaff!

2430 RUBY Ave
San Jose, CA  95148
$579,000

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,420
$/SQ. FT.: $408
LOT SIZE: 0.57 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Contemporary
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1950
COMMUNITY: Alum Rock
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81205841
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 21 days

* * * Regular Sale * * * Newer home with 3 bedrooms 2 bathrooms in a 24,829 sqft land. It has Pergo floors throughout, recessed lighting, ceiling fan, double Pane windows. Inside laundry room in the kitchen area. Kitchen has granite counter top and newer cabinetry. Low maintenance backyard with large patio and large storage room. Close to Eastridge Mall, restaurants and easy access to frwy 680/101.

Here’s why Tracy thought you’d be interested in today’s featured house:

HUuh??? Built 1950 “newer home”  708 sf with 3/2 and the most ginormous lot.. I am confused. I like the “Low maintenance backyard” and the storage shed might be bigger than the house.

The house is 708 sf, but the agent reports it as 1420?  Maybe the garage and that storage shed were added into the sqft land.  And do you see what’s there on the front porch?  I think it’s time to break out the Burbed Red Arrows, because we’re looking at some MAWBUL KAWLUM ACTION.

Also have to wonder about this Realtard leading with the kitchen cabinets instead of the awesomeness of these profound pillars.

Fortunately, there’s plenty of greenery in the back yard, so don’t worry about the seller neglecting the landscaping.

In fact, there’s so much treasure to hunt for, both on the property and in the surrounding neighborhood, that both you and your kids will enjoy being told to play outside in the Low maintenance backyard!  That is, if you and your kids are intrigued by vintage automotive finds.

Otherwise, at least you’re Close to Eastridge Mall.