May 31, 2013

Two Two Too Good To Be True Home in Santa Clara

It’s been far too long since we’ve heard from Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer.  Today’s superlative siting is situated in supreme Santa Clara! Let’s hear it for those low-cost utilities, yayyyyyy! Notice we’re using Zillow today? There’s a good reason: Redfin’s already yanked the listing because… yup, PENDING!

130530-claremont-zillow22 Claremont Ave
Santa Clara, CA 95051
$1,089,000

Zestimate®:$954,704
Est. Mortgage: $4,040/month

Bedrooms: 3 beds
Bathrooms: 2 baths
Single Family: 1,833 sq ft
Lot: 8,712 sq ft
Year Built: 1956
Heating Type: Contact for details
Days on Zillow: 14
Addition Size: 432
Construction Quality: 6.0
Garage Size: 437
Last Remodel Year: 1956
Lot Depth: 110
Lot Width: 80
MLS #: 81316927
Parcel #: 29617012
Room Count: 7
130530-claremont-playhouse# Stories: 1.0
Structure Type: Contemporary
Unit Count: 1
Zillow Home ID: 19602034

Too good to be true home. Tremendous amounts of living space, huge backyard on prime culdesac with CUPERTINO schools. Inspections show this house is in great shape. Heat/AC, hardwood floors, CAT 5 wiring,special sound resistant windows and walls,black out shades, Audio.Visual tech dream home, granite counters,surround sound, etc. This home will not last long. Office area is built in & stays.

130530-claremont-tvWait, what’s this about sound resistant windows and walls and black out shades? This makes it a too good to be true home?

Those shades aren’t even black! We think the agent is pulling a fast one here. Same thing with the “Audio.Visual tech dream home” when all that’s visible is a giant-ass flatscreen. For all we know those cabinets are full of useless things like cinnamon and pastry bags.

130530-claremont-locationWe did determine why they mentioned the special sound resistant windows and walls, though.  Location, location, location! Hoe Lee Crap, this house is on a six lane major thoroughfare next to an eight lane major expressway and an eight lane freeway.

This is a rare location fail trifecta: Busy street, expressway and freeway. Plus it backs up to a commercial zone.

Now what would you pay? Not only is Santa Clara hosting million dollar houses, but million dollar houses in challenging locations! Can you imagine what you’re going to have to pay for a house near nothing but other houses?

If you think we’re exaggerating about the commercial zone, check out what you see when you hit Redfin right now.

130531-claremont-redfin-nfs

Go on over there, click on the map to make it full size, and note where you find yourself. This home will not last long, indeed.

Comments (7) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:04 am






December 19, 2012

Absolutely a Gorgeous Home in Sunnyvale

Today’s fine featured facade is brought to you by Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer!  Thanks very much, and if you want to see your name up in lights on the front page like PG’s, send your richest realty wrecks to one of the emails on the rightside column.

121218-bartlett-redfin396 BARTLETT Ave
Sunnyvale, CA 94086
$699,000

3 Beds 
2 Baths 
1,765 Sq. Ft.
$396 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1942 
Lot Size: 5,100 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 70 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Sunnyvale
MLS#: 81237245
Style: Traditional
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara

Absolutely a gorgeous home, completely rebuilt from the ground up in 2007. Oak kitchen cabinets granite counter tops. Hardwood floors in living room. Plus much more. Property will be open on Saturday, October 27 2012 from 12:00 to 4:00 p. m. Please show at that time.

121218-bartlett-satelliteOak, granite, hardwood…. wait, wait, something’s missing.  Shoot, I bet the agent had the flip trifecta in the listing copy all along, and another joker figured he could just steel it and stain a reputation.

PG’s observation on this property:

Absolutely a gorgeous home… Yet there is only one picture.

Plus much more.

You want to know how much more?  You see that big corporate campus behind the back fence?  It just got sold to a real estate investment partnership.

121218-bartlett-wiresYes.  That means you could lease some of the space and then your commute to work would literally be seconds.  All you’d have to do is build a gate through your back fence.  You’d have a shorter commute than Mark Zuckerberg did back when he had a rental a block from the old Facebook HQ, and soon you’ll have a smaller number than he does (#36) on the Forbes 400!

How are you going to do that? Dunno, but Sunnyvale’s about to lose 1100 jobs.  Get cracking!

Bunus: Also just seconds away: expressway and high-voltage transmission lines! Is this house great or what? Plus much more.  Like the central location conveniently nestled between several Super Fun sites.

121218-bartlett-cleanups

Property will be open on Saturday, October 27th 2012.

Comments (1) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:09 am

September 20, 2012

Lost Horizon: Now Playing in Mountain View

When a market is as hot, hot, HOT as Mountain View, it pays to look at what won’t sell.  Take a gander at this gorgeous gatehouse and let us know why you think it’s still without a prom date.

120919-horizon-redfin

140 HORIZON Ave
Mountain View, CA 94043
$899,900; raised from $879,900 on 8/24/12

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,419 Sq. Ft.
$634 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1970
Lot Size: 6,100 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 38 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Community: North Shoreline
MLS#: 81230153
Stories: 1
County: Santa Clara

LOCATION!LOCATION!LOCATION! Beautiful home in downtown MtView! Mostly dual pane windows/doors; gleaming hardwood flr, plantation miniblind/shutters, skylight, mirror closet drs, newer roof, newer landscaping. Relax in leafy backyrd. close to everywhere–downtown restaurants, light rail and train station, high tech companies/google/facebook. .Ready to move in!

120919-horizon-dhoYet another house in Mountain View, but this one has a “bunus”!  It’s right here in Picture #21.  We had to use a different Red Arrow, because while we were busy finding housing fail, Aviary went and dumped its Advanced Suite of Red Arrow Drawing Tools.

Yes, we found a real Dude Hanging Out, plus flash in the mirror.

Maybe if the agent goes back and takes this picture again, from an angle with no DHO and no flash, the house will go Pending in a day.  After all, LOCATION!LOCATION!LOCATION!

120919-horizon-satellite

Gosh, they raised the price two weeks after listing it, too!  Doing everything right like this should make this house as popular as Bill Clinton at a haiku convention.

Comments (13) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:10 am

June 27, 2012

Spacious updated kithen

What’s that?  Burbed readers want to know about more houses close to Google?  Then you’ll have many thanks for Burbed reader mabel du, with this momentous manse in Mountain View. And it was submitted along with a Guest Post to go with it.  Oh, you can’t buy this house.  It’s Pending.  We told you: Mountain View is hot, hot, hot!  So thanks for getting us all excited for nothing.

Please give mabel du a big, warm, Real Bay Area welcome as today’s Guest Blogger!


152 THOMPSON Ave
Mountain View, CA  94043
$819,000

120625-thompson-redfin

120625-thompson-backyardBEDS:  3
BATHS:  2
SQ. FT.:  1,280
$/SQ. FT.:  $640
LOT SIZE:  5,300 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Modern/High Tech
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT:  1955
COMMUNITY:  Thompson
COUNTY:  Santa Clara
MLS#:  81221321
SOURCE:  MLSListings
STATUS: Pending Without Release
ON REDFIN:  19 days

Charming, updated home in Monta Loma. Close to Downtown Mountain View, Palo Alto & Google. Light filled living room with hardwood floors and fire place. Spacious updated kithen with view of back yard and open to the dinning area. Beautifully landscaped yard with pavers, great for entertaining. Master bedroom with hardwood floors, updated bath and the view of the back yard. Just move in and enjoy.

120625-thompson-kitchenYipppee!  Another entry from Monta Loma.  Don’t know where that is???  Here’s all you need to know:   Close to Palo Alto, Google and other companies.

F@#k Mountain View!  This house is sooooo close to the land of your dreams:  Utopia, fairies & unicorns.  And it comes with a free choo-choo just yards away.  And by ‘yards’ I mean a mere 4 houses or about 200′.   Wait a sec, my math is off…  First you have to hop over Central Expressway (not so expressy at 8:00am or 5:00pm, tho), then you get your choo-choo.
 
Please allow me to translate realtor-speak “Beautifully landscaped yard with pavers, great for entertainment = There’s not one f@#king blade of grass.  Just what every family with kids or pets desires – warm, inviting bricks to play on.  Better stock up on band aids for the skinned knees, and plastic glassware when you entertain on your new, cold, hard reality  (tho, it’ll be about 110* in the summer on that heat sink).
 
120625-thompson-backyard-2 “… and the view of the back yard.”  Nothing is more comforting than staring out a window at an expanse of pavers.  Why not just move into a condo?  You’d have numerous options to select from in Utopia Palo Alto.  Well… there must be at least a couple PA condo options for $819k.
 
I don’t have time for a full rant about “updated bath other than:  Two bathrooms, two pedestal sinks…  I can hear the ghosts of Christmas past yelling “Great!  Where’s the f@#king extra roll of toilet paper???”
 
All this for not so much money in the RBA.  Wait…  is Mountain View even in the RBA anymore?  According to this realtor, not so much.  F@#k Mountain View, all you Googlers who really want to live in PA!  
Comments (7) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:09 am

March 5, 2012

Close to parks, schools, shopping and easy freeway access!

We still have plenty of fantastic finds from Burbed reader sonarrat to share with you, so let’s see what’s waiting for you in the Campbell neighborhood of sunny San Jose!  Looks like another fine feature from the bank vaults!

3624 MOORPARK Ave
San Jose, CA 95117
$439,900

120303-moorpark-redfin

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,143
$/SQ. FT.: $385
LOT SIZE: 4,444 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1955
COMMUNITY: Campbell
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81150615
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 78 days

REDUCED PRICE! Spacious home with good layout! Updated kitchen with granite counters, granite island and stainless steel sink and appliances! Hardwood and tiled floors, great backyard for entertaining. Located close to parks, schools, shopping and easy freeway access!

120303-moorpark-livingroomHere’s what sonarrat thought about this house:

location location location – busy street, San Tomas Expressway, and 280.

Wait, don’t you want to admire the, um, interesting choice of paint in the living room?  No?

Okay, then let’s have a good look at that location, then.

120303-moorpark-satellite

Win-win-win!

Comments (9) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:06 am

February 27, 2012

Great house in a quiet neighborhood

Hope you all had a fantastic weekend, everyone.  Now that you’re all done with President’s Week, it’s time to get back to work, and that means back to finding a house to buy or sell!  Burbed reader sonarrat has a regal regular sale for you in Sunnyvale!

1053 BLAZINGWOOD Dr
Sunnyvale, CA 94089
$469,000

120226-blazingwood-redfin

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,000
$/SQ. FT.: $469
LOT SIZE: 5,500 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1955
COMMUNITY: Sunnyvale
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81113044
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 338 days

this is a regular sale, open floor plan, close to 101 and 237, great house in a quiet neighborhood, close to stores. there’s a bonus room in the back, seller is renting for $800.00. Permits unknown.

Here’s why sonarrat thought everyone would love this place:

Sold for $230K in 2008. Wow!

Wow! is right!  This house is so full of wow, they couldn’t run any other pictures, for fear of inducing heart attacks throughout area code 408 from the excitement.  So let’s see what else we can find.  First, Google Streetview.

120226-blazingwood-streetview

A walled estate!  Just lovely!  Now, let’s check out the neighborhood.

120226-blazingwood-aerial

E-Z Commute, too!

120226-blazingwood-sv2

Hmm, this Streetview shot (obtained by clicking along Lawrence Expressway, and making right turns at Sandia and Blazingwood) looks okay.  It sure looks better than the only picture of the house on the listing.  Do you get the impression they don’t really want to sell this house despite the claimed “regular sale”?  It must be filled with platinum bars or something!  No wonder the permits are unknown.

Comments (11) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:28 am

June 3, 2008

When you buy this toiletless house, you know you’re dealing with a pro

10220 STERLING Blvd Cupertino, CA 95014


Price: $890,000
Beds: 3
Baths: 1
Sq. Ft.: 1,342
$/Sq. Ft.: $663
Lot Size: 10,659 Sq. Ft.
Age (Years): 54
Year Built: 1954
Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1 Story
Neighborhood: Cupertino
County: Santa Clara
MLS#: 785483
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active
On Redfin: 51 days
Price just reduced. Value is mainly on the land. This property has already obtained city permit for building a house of two stories for a FAR of 44.7%, which is 3437 SF, including a 2-car garage. The approved blueprint of the plan is available to review upon request. The house currently has no PG & E; sink and toilet been removed. Time to build your own.

Frankly, I like dealing with professionals a lot more than amateurs. Clearly this Realtor and Seller know what I’m talking about. When you deal with novices, people who aren’t serious about buying, they tend to want to see things like… the house… the yard… the street… the door… the garage.

You know. All the BS.

Professionals know that when it is a plot of land in the Real Bay Area, it doesn’t matter what the photos look like – it’s in the RBA. You buy it. Period. Full stop. ’nuff said.

By not providing photos of this PG&E-less, sink-less, toilet-less house, this seller is doing you a favor. They’re telling you “Hey big boy flush with VMWare money… this is your house. Because you’re a pro. And so am I.”

Professionals. That’s what this house is all about.

But just for those of you who might be novices, here’s a gratuitous picture of your future dream home:

Look at that. Now don’t you wish you hadn’t seen this?

Novices. Sheesh.
(Thanks to Burbed reader AnonyMouse for this find.)

Comments (5) -- Posted by: burbed @ 5:08 am