July 27, 2013

Coming to a listing near you

130726-bowers-placementProduct placement in movies and television have been going on for a while.  Remember the Reese’s Pieces in E.T.? If you see a brand in a movie or other video, you can be sure it was put there deliberately.

Well then… why haven’t realtards tried product placement in listing photos? After all, buyers are such a fickle lot, underbidding during bubbles and expecting freebies thrown in like refrigerators and kitchen cabinets when the sellers have every right to keep them. At least if they had product placement to fall back on, there would be some bucks in it for them, whether or not the house sold!

Let’s have a look at a really egregious example of product placement. We’re not talking about a loving paean to Andersen Windows or Bosch dishwashers that are features of the house for sale, either.

130726-bowers-greygoose

130726-bowers-greygoose-farHere’s the Redfin listing, where you’ll find another photo of the booze.  The even better Bunus portion of this amusing photo is where we found this REGULAR SALE!

Would you buy your next house from this realty firm?

And it’s Open Thread time! Tell us what products you saw placed when you looked at open houses!

Comments (7) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:07 am






May 16, 2013

Now is the time to Buy!

Today we’re headed to the always exciting City of Sunnyvale, where Burbed reader Dannyman has a found a house for you! No endless windows to clean, doorknobs to polish, or miles of marble to scrub. This house is cute, compact, and convenient: everything at your fingertips!

20130515-duane-redfin596 E DUANE Ave
Sunnyvale, CA 94085
$499,000

3 Beds
1 Baths
1,009 Sq. Ft.
$495 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1952
Lot Size: 5,600 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 14 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Community: Sunnyvale
MLS#: 81314510
Stories: 1
County: Santa Clara

Recently remodeled bright home close to N Fair Oaks Avenue. Minutes away from freeways, shopping and restaurants. Large fenced lot with fruit bearing Avocado and Fig trees. Well maintained lawn, lots of big windows. Large lot to entertain and relax.

130515-duane-viewYes, at 1009 square feet, you should be able to clean the ceiling and dust the baseboards at the same time. But here’s why Dannyman sent this to our (and your) attention:

Check sales history. :)

Okay, we shall!20130515-duane-history

Wha, what, sold two weeks ago?

130515-duane-130426596 E DUANE Ave
Sunnyvale, CA 94085
Sold for $385,000

3 Beds
1 Baths
1,009 Sq. Ft.
$382 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1952
Lot Size: 5,600 Sq. Ft.
Sold On: Apr 26, 2012
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Sunnyvale
MLS#: 81210383
Style: Traditional
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara

Great starter home ready for your family to move in. Freshly painted exterior. New kitchen cabinets & counter tops. New flooring throughout. Large rear yard, design to your liking, would be great for family or entertaining. Hot water heater new in 2004.

130515-duane-oldkitchenSee that? Even not-Real-Bay-Area homes are such a fantastic investment, you don’t even have to brag about a hot water heater that was new in 2004 anymore. Just buy a house, any house, and put it right back on the market. 

Then sit back in your large lot to entertain and relax while the overbids come pouring in.

You could even keep the hot water heater.

Comments (13) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:03 am

April 4, 2013

Day Deal in Danville: Dollar Deluge for Doing Diddlysquat

BlogAtoZ-DWelcome back to Day #4 of the Danged blogging from A to Z challenge. Despite Dropout, we’re Determined to Drag our Dozen Dear readers through Daily Dumps!

Excuse us.  We’re got a Delightful Domicile for your to Drool on the Drapes! But Don’t Despair! We’re Driving a Distance to Danville for this Detached single family Dreck.

Drop any Disgust; the Day’s Display Deserves Decent Drama.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Kim from the East Bay for this Donation.

130403-ferncroft-redfin531 FERNCROFT Ct
Danville, CA 94526
Sold for $678,000

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,938 Sq. Ft.
$350 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1974
Lot Size: 9,963 Sq. Ft.
Sold On: Mar 27, 2013
Type: Detached
Stories: 1
County: Contra Costa
Style: Ranch
Community: Danville
MLS#: 40604422

Wonderful ranch style home on a large, private lot. Vaulted ceilings in family room w/ wood burning fireplace. Dine in kitchen with newer appliances. Formal dining room and living room. Dual pane windows. Large parklike backyard with patio. Home needs some TLC.

130403-ferncroft-kitchenLet’s Dial in with Kim:

Look at the listing history:

Listed for $650 a mere 24 hours after being purchased for $565K (Feb 21-22) Closes on March 27 for $678

130403-ferncroft-dhoBUY NOW OR BE PRICED OUT FOREVER!!!

You can’t even call it a flip since he may as well just have used the same listing photos.. the only difference is the house is vacant. Not a bad profit for zero work.

Don’t Diss the Dealer! Why Do you Despise Democracy so much? Maybe you should Dig Ditches in Da Nang if you Don’t Declare Dittoes! Dude, we Direct you to the old Data.  The Dated Depictions are worth a Detour, as the Domicile is not only 130403-ferncroft-yardDecorated, we even found a Double-Double DHO (Dudettes Hanging Out) Distinction! (see left side mirror and its Doppelgangers).

Also the previous listing features lawn Décor from another Development, Different Date, Domain… it looks like a Disk from the Island of Yap.

Or a Demon-sized Donut.

D’oh!

The Detail:

130403-ferncroft-history

Comments (10) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:08 am

March 18, 2013

Gem nestled in the Quaint town of Campbell

Still not convinced that we’ve entered Bay Area Bubble 4.0?  Burbed reader wahnny has another entry trying to support our hypothesis.  Let’s take a good look at this cavernous castle in Campbell!

130317-everett-redfin255 EVERETT Ave
Campbell, CA 95008
$579,900

2 Beds
1 Baths
784 Sq. Ft.
$740 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1980
Lot Size: 2,640 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 5 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Campbell
MLS#: 81307702
Style: Cottage/Bungalow
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara

Another Gem by Gaurdian Home Brokers, nestled in the Quaint town of Campbell. Located a short walk from starbucks and the Famous Pruneyard Shopping Center. This Bugalow features all new kitchen with granite counters, stainless appliances, paint int/ext, landscape, new windows and more. Top-rated schools.

130317-everett-viewAnd heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere’s wahnny!

Another [example of bubble pricing] is a flipped 1900s bungalow in (non-RBA) Campbell,

Not quite as cozy, and on a much smaller lot, but near top-rated schools / starbucks /shopping centers, and currently selling for "not a lot of money".

130117-everett-preflipThis is much better, wahnny, this is a flipped 1900s “bugalow.”  Another Gem by Gaurdian Home Brokers. (If the realtard meant this agency in Folsom, then we must admit this is the first time we’ve caught one who couldn’t properly spell the name of their own broker.)

If you’re interested, the before pictures and listing are available here (photo right).  Here’s the older listing copy:

Amazing potential! Southern-facing FIiXER UPPER w/ sunny fenced yard! In a sweet architecturally eclectic neighborhood a block to the heart of Campbell & restaurants, cafes, boutiques, & Sun. Farmer’s Market. Master br w/ walk-in closet & access to private patio. Eat-in kitchen w/ breakfast nook/laundry closet has French doors to the large yard. Fully fenced & low maint. yard.

Look at that!  For $180K less than the current asking price, you could have done business with an agent who could not only spell, but also use words like “eclectic.”

Comments (6) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:05 am

February 4, 2013

Today in Portola Valley: Guest Blogger on Guest House

burbed_guest_bloggerWe haven’t had a guest post for a while, so we’re going to sleep in while Burbed reader Dr. Jim takes over today’s column.  Thanks very much!  Please give Dr. Jim a big, warm, Real Bay Area welcome to the front page as today’s guest blogger!

And now we’re going back to bed.


130203-portola-redfin451 PORTOLA Rd
Portola Valley, CA 94028
$6,495,000

4 Beds
5 Baths
4,200 Sq. Ft.
$1,546 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1912
Lot Size: 1.13 Acres
On Redfin: 88 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: Tri-Level
Community: Brookside/Willowbrook Area
MLS#: 81240340

Stunning historic estate originally built by Herbert E. Law completely renovated with state of the art contemporary finishes. Turreted castle main residence (3 br) incl. 1000 sq. ft new construction, stone guest cottage, 1200 sq. ft workshop. 1.2 flat ac. in prime PV, western views, pool, bocce court, enclosed rose garden, diamond plaster top quality appliances incl. La Cornue stove, Miele appl.

130203-portola-gatehouseCheck it out: 

They expect to make $4,645,000 profit on a house that they bought 1.5 years ago for $1,850,000!  That’s $1106/sf for remodeling.  And the cottage and workshop were there already.  Granted, the land is valuable, but that’s already accounted for in the original purchase price.  Let’s say they spent a ridiculous million dollars on renovation.  That’s still a 28% ROI, which is wildly ambitious.

130203-portola-ladderA couple of notes on the listing copy: (1) This is not the Herbert E. Law estate, this is the former GATEHOUSE for the Law estate (Villa Lauriston).  (2) A La Cornue oven, oh boy!  It looks like the $35,000 model (Chateau 120).  If they had put in a $299 Kenmore range, I suppose they would be asking $6,460,299.  Not really much difference.

Thank goodness for the Internet.  Just a few years ago, prior sale info was more difficult to obtain.  I think part of the current real estate slump is due to all of the information on the web: people are no longer being duped as readily by realtors.

Comments (8) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:04 am

January 22, 2013

Fastest Flippers in the West?

We love flips.  Take your vintage crapbox that hasn’t been updated since the original owners signed the restrictive covenant, let it marinate for 57 years and mix thoroughly with a cash sale.  Wait 3–6 months and then garnish with new appliances, new paint, new countertops. Of course it’s the same old house under the makeup.

Today’s Los Gatos lovely was sent in by Burbed reader nomadic.  See how long it takes you to figure out what’s wrong with this picture.

130121-anne-redfin135 ANNE Way
Los Gatos, CA 95032
$1,100,000

4 Beds 
2.5 Baths 
2,299 Sq. Ft.
$478 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1964 
Lot Size: 8,050 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 26 days
Status: Pending Without Release
Property Type: Detached Single Family
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara
Stories: 2
Community: Los Gatos/Monte Sereno
MLS#: 81243731

Huge lot. Incredible Gorgeous tree-lined street in highly desirable Los Gatos neighborhood! This home is another SVHOME renovation that includes stunning remodeled kitchen featuring granite counters, new appliances, new lighting and laminate flooring; baths feature extensive use of travertine stonework. New plumbing fixtures, vanities and lighting; plush new carpeting in all bedrooms, fresh paint

130121-anne-svhomeLet’s check in with nomadic on why this house deserves your attention:

Bought November 16, pergranisteel kitchen, new baths and some paint by December 26, when it was re-listed.  Instantly pending!  $284k price delta.

The flippers’ site: http://www.svhome.com/

Yes, the flipper’s have a site, including a ginormous animated photo-graphic that literally flips in segments while you watch.  They also have a page of all their pending properties, including this one.  Most of the others have a virtual tour.  This one does not.

130121-anne-powerlinesThis one also does not have any photos of that stunning remodeled kitchen featuring granite counters, new appliances, new lighting and laminate flooring. The flippers are asking us to take their word for it about the extensive use of travertine stonework.  They wouldn’t even give us a peek at the plush new carpeting, fresh paint.

Although we are giving you a really good ogle at those sturdy power transmission lines running through the back yard.  Now, check out this unbelievable listing history, courtesy of Zillow:

130121-anne-history

Are you sure there was a flip here?  Really super sure?  Because if there was, it’s still selling for less than they tried to get for it five years ago. (And according to Redfin, they were trying to sell it in 2006 as well.) The November sale price is an eye-opener.  Looks like after five or six years of chasing the market down, the owners finally bailed.  Just a month later it’s back in seven digit range.  All it took was a little pergranisteel and traverstone.

Comments (4) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:18 am

January 3, 2013

Start work tomorrow in Los Gatos!

There are several types of housing awesomeness we cover.  There’s the high-priced crapshack, the WTF You’re Kidding, the completely overdone custom home, the adorable domicile with serious location fail such as an international airport.  Then there’s the tried and true House Flip.  We all love flips because they all use the same formula.

  1. Buy crappy house for cash
  2. ?????
  3. Profit!

Have a look at what Burbed reader nomadic found for us in the wilds of Los Gatos.

130102-benedict-redfin15588 BENEDICT Ln
Los Gatos, CA 95032
$950,000

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,456 Sq. Ft.
$652 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1948
Lot Size: 9,625 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 34 days
Status: Active

Start work tomorrow! Rare opportunity and no waiting. Permit fees have been paid and plans are in hand for a complete remodel/addition of this cute 1500 SF. 3 Bedrooms, 2 Bath home with spacious kitchen/greatroom on a large (9625 SF), level lot with an existing garage. To help save even more time and money, the interior of the home has been stripped to the framing. Great location with L. G. schools

Have they left out Phase 2? Let’s hear from nomadic:

130102-benedict-frameA flipper bought this house in May, stripped the house down to the studs and put it up for sale in November.  He thinks those services (plus permits) are worth $175k.  Is the market really that crazy?  Maybe not, given that it’s still active after 30 days.

Ooh, the plot thickens: “Fixer Upper, Seller is Licensed Real Estate Agent”

The “Zestimate” is $945k.  Unfortunately, the prior listing isn’t available on Redfin so we can’t tell if the current seller did anything at all, other than buy at a favorable price – which actually probably wasn’t particularly good, given that this nearby house sold in July for $700k (larger but with Hwy 17 in the back yard) before being flipped – as a FINISHED house – for $999k.

To help save even more time and money, why not leave the flippers out of the entire transaction?  Which leaves a realtard out too!

Bunus: Check out the neighborhood. Great for teens!

130102-benedict-satellite

Comments (3) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:10 am

December 21, 2012

Freshly Remodeled Flip, with before pix!

It’s time for another expedition a little further from the usual Google-Facebook-Twitter locations, locations, locations.  Today’s featured frontage is a full-on flip, thanks to Burbed reader dollarbin!

121220-sunnyhills-redfin203 SUNNYHILLS Dr
Watsonville, CA 95076
$319,000

3 Beds 
2 Baths 
1,380 Sq. Ft.
$231 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1954 
Lot Size: 5,227 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 21 days
Status: Pending With Release
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Watsonville
MLS#: 81241943
Style: Contemporary
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Cruz

Freshly Remodeled 3 bedroom 2 bath Eichler home at the end of a cul de sac. Short walking distance to schools in nice stable neighborhood. new roof, all new plumbing, upgraded electrical service, wiring and light fixtures, new heater, and water heater upgraded kitchen with granite counter tops and stainless appliances. all double paned windows

121220-sunnyhills-livingGranite and stainless and panes, oh my!  And dollarbin has another reason to send in this listing.  Let’s listen in.

I was checking out the listing for this Watsonville flat-top.  Looking at the listing I noticed that it sold back in April for roughly half the price.  Fortunately, the old listing also has interior photos.

Shame they had to paint over all of that original artwork.

Wait, old listing?

121220-sunnyhills-redfin-old203 SUNNYHILLS Dr
Watsonville, CA 95076
Sold for $160,000

2 Beds 
1 Baths  1,470 Sq. Ft.
$109 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1954 
Lot Size: 5,227 Sq. Ft. 
Sold On: Apr 26, 2012
Status: Sold
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Watsonville
MLS#: 81200844
Style: Cottage/Bungalow
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Cruz

Subject located on corner lot at end of road. Large backyard patio area. Centrally located near all amenities. Interior of home is vandalized and will require much TLC. Good opportunity for a contractor/investor fixer.

Let’s enjoy that original artwork, then.

121220-sunnyhills-beast121220-sunnyhills-bkap121220-sunnyhills-success

And best of all, these pictures are actual size.  So for once you don’t have to go to the listing to embiggen them.

But the photo of the living room above is the only picture that we can tell for sure was taken in the same house.  See if you can identify some of the others!

And note the good wishes the artist left for the future homeowners.  It’s in red so you can’t miss it.  SUCCESS.

 

Comments (9) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:01 am

December 18, 2012

They call it Flipper, Flipper, King of the Offer

Who likes a nice, hot breakfast? Okay, who likes a nice, hot fresh breakfast? No mawbul kawlums, but this listing is only 11 days up, and what a history!  Our thanks to Burbed reader waiting for the fall for this nice nest in Newark!

Yes, even houses in Newark are going pending in a week.  What can we say? The bubbly is BACK!

121217-haley-redfin35726 HALEY St
Newark, CA 94560
$389,000

3 Beds 
2 Baths 
1,100 Sq. Ft.
$354 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1961 
Lot Size: 6,000 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 11 days
Status: Pending
Type: Detached
Stories: 1
County: Alameda
Style: Contemporary
Community: Newark
MLS#: 40597759

Completely renovated; Charming single story home; Updated kitchen with stainless steel appliances and granite countertops; Brand new flooring and carpet; Freshly painted inside and out; New roofing; Large driveway; Beautiful deck with covered patio for outdoor parties.

121217-haley-kitchenHere’s why wftf sent this reverse snout-house in.

Check out this house in Newark.  It’s been flipped more than a pancake!

When we make pancakes, we only have to flip them once.  And they stay flipped.

 

 

121217-haley-history

Stainless and granite.  In Newark.  We’re thinking if they’re going to decorate like it’s 2005, maybe they should price it like it’s 2005 too.

Comments (13) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:06 am

November 2, 2012

Unbelievable

Here’s a find from Burbed reader hikelife.  Did you always want to live in a million dollar mansion?  If you have that million you could live in Sunnyvale instead!

121101-labella-redfin1354 LA BELLA Ave
Sunnyvale, CA 94087
$1,000,000

3 Beds 
1 Baths 
1,034 Sq. Ft.
$967 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1950 
Lot Size: 9,576 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 1 day
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara
Stories: 1
Community: Sunnyvale
MLS#: 81239620

Unbelievable

Does this house look familiar?  It should, because it showed up in comments yesterday.  We’ll let you use that worthwhile section to admire how hard this agent is working for that $60,000 commission.  A word and a photo, both!

We’ll leave you with a peek at the actual house (which would have raised the agent’s commission to $80,000).

121101-labella-streetview

Super bunus!  Ginormous trash bin!

Comments (18) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:03 am