April 27, 2013

X marks the spot

130426-scrabble-xBlogAtoZ-XWelcome to the most difficult entry in the entire Blogging from A to Z Challenge. X is the letter that leads to cheats (like finding a house in FairfaX), tweet-style entries (X-treme anything), and words that are unrelated to the blog’s subject (wouldn’t you all like an entry on Xylophones? Hint: they’re supposed to be made of wood).

But no, we’re going to rise to this challenge properly, even if we have to go all the way back to 2010 to comply!  It was either that or another one of our tl;dr essays on the subject of how odd Xenophobia looks to residents of the Real Bay Area.  You can let us know whether we made the right choice with the property listings by speaking up in comments.

130426-lorelei-redfin72 LORELEI Ln
Menlo Park, CA 94025

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,120 Sq. Ft.
$696 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1956
Lot Size: 5,130 Sq. Ft.
Sold On: Aug 24, 2010
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Flood Park Area
MLS#: 81033951

Charming remodeled 3 bedroom/ 2 full bathroom home, inspired by the California and Silicon Valley lifestyle, on a quiet cul-de-sac in a wonderful Menlo Park neighborhood. Notice the professionally designed xeriscape in the front yard that utilizes California native and drought resistant vegetation. Check out the no-mow front lawn (it is very cool). Hardwood floors, open beamed ceilings.

Yes, dear readers, our entry for today is Xeriscaping.  Xeriscaping is landscaping with drought-resistant or desert-native plants. The point of xeriscaping is to conserve water and reduce yard waste, and it’s also one of those trendy terms we find on this parody site (of late neglected). And we’ve covered many a house with those kind of front yards! So now that we went back to 2010 to find the only use of the word in any Bay Area home listing anywhere (and they had to turn it into a fracking noun while they were at it), let’s come up with a more recent offering more suitable to the needs of the current home buyer.

130426-riochico-redfin201 RIO CHICO Dr
San Jose, CA 95111

6 Beds
3 Baths
1,769 Sq. Ft.
$249 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1959
Lot Size: 5,100 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 63 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: South San Jose
MLS#: 81305376

This is an excellent opportunity for an investor or a large family. This house needs a little TLC and is located near schools, shopping and freeways. Thank-you for showing.

Xeriscaping without all the fuss, and no pretentious neighbors anywhere near this location, location, location to say you’re doing it wrong!  Or to imply that it is not very cool. We apologize for the City-owned parking strip with greenery.  Thank you for showing.

Comments (9) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:02 am

November 30, 2012

Perfect for office or play in Menlo Park

Let’s take a break from our Black Friday DEALS and see what a house can look like if you’re willing to spend more than what you find in your sofa cushions.  Instead of scraping the bottom of the barrel, let’s see what you can get for a million and a half.  Thanks very much to Petsmart Groomer for this magnificent Menlo Park megaplex!

121129-windermere-redfin1045 WINDERMERE Ave
Menlo Park, CA 94025

3 Beds 
3.5 Baths 
2,856 Sq. Ft.
$542 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2007 
Lot Size: 8,923 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 77 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Flood Park Area
MLS#: 81234064
Style: Traditional, Craftsman
View: Neighborhood
County: San Mateo

Stunning 5-year-old rebuilt home | 3 bedroom suites & 3.5 ba | Kitchen-family great room | Incredible chef’s kitchen w/ custom cabs, center island, walk-in pantry, high-end stainless appliances incl 6′ wide double fridge | Bonus room off FR perfect for office or play | Fine finishes: 9′ ceilings, rich moldings, plantation shutters, hrdwd flrs, recessed lighting, AC | Great yard | Top MP schools

121129-windermere-frontIsn’t it nice to see a place for sale that doesn’t look like a crime scene?  Don’t you just want to move in here?  We just hope that Flood Park Area is just a neighborhood name and not a description, or worse, an order.

And for this price category, you should, and here you do get some decent real estate photography.  (Although we think this house is  slightly radioactive: look at the sky color change near the roof and especially the trees) Think about some of the places on the sale rack that were shot with a disposable.

Remember, you get what you pay for!  And in this case it’s location, location, location!


Or should that be LOLcation?  Guess that explains the chef’s kitchen w/custom cabs.

Comments (7) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:07 am

February 7, 2012

Paint and carpet and you should be good to go… away

Are you all excited about the Facebook IPO?  I know I am!  Local used house salespeople are expecting to make out like bandits from all the Facebook money that will be snapping up nearby real estate!  Here’s just one example of what Facebookers will be calling home.

Thanks very much to Burbed reader Wendie for this superb short sale in Menlo Park!

Menlo Park, CA 94025


SQ. FT.: 2,360
$/SQ. FT.: $317
LOT SIZE: 5,940 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Ranch
VIEW: Neighborhood
COMMUNITY: Flood Park Area
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81135539
STATUS: Pending With Release
ON REDFIN: 174 days

This is a Short Sale. Big home in Menlo Park’s Suburban Park neighborhood. Home is in great shape, has been remodeled, but needs some TLC. Paint and carpet and you should be good to go. Located next to the German School.

120205-sheridan-staircaseHere’s what Wendie had to say about this terrific opportunity!

Look at these photos of this house!  The realtor could not bother to take the garbage out of any of the rooms? The realtor  just went crazy snapping photos of every part of the house, clearly not caring about the crap spewn everyone! And the carpet on the staircase; yuck!!!!


Clutter.  What better way to show the world how busy you are?

Comments (86) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:06 am

March 7, 2011

This house will have you seeing pink in Menlo Park!

Beds: 4
Baths: 3
Sq. Ft.: 2,340
$/Sq. Ft.: $340
Lot Size: 7,920 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Contemporary
Stories: 1
View: Neighborhood
Year Built: 1951
Community: Flood Park Area
County: San Mateo
MLS#: 81051090
Source: MLSListings
Status: ActiveThis listing is for sale and the sellers are accepting offers.
On Redfin: 123 days
WOW! BEST BUY IN MENLO PARK! Enjoy the large, upgraded home in the Menlo Park School District. Nicely remodeled kitchen, recessed lighting, hardwood floors. Huge living room with fireplace. Bright and open family room. Spacious bedrooms. RV parking, Extra storage, and much more!

Thanks to Burbed reader Herve for this find.

I think what really caught his attention was the RV parking! Nah, just kidding… it’s this:


Adult entertainment establishment? Horror scene? LSD trip? Your guess is good as mine!

Here’s what else Herve had t
o say:

Corner of Ringwood and Van Buren (named after the NY street gang). Best buy in Menlo Park, only steps from 101. WOW!

That’s right! Just check out the location!


This house will have you seeing pink… if not outright pink-eye in no time!

Comments (21) -- Posted by: burbed @ 5:44 am

March 5, 2011

A Million to Live in a Below Average Tract

Many neighborhoods have mailing lists organized to keep everyone informed.  When this message was sent beyond the original in-group, I found the name of the ‘hood intriguing enough to check out the house.

Subject: Fw: [subparcoop] Friends interested in buying in SubPar?

From one of my neighbors.  I can attest that my neighborhood is a special place for families!  Houses don’t last long on the market.

Hi Neighbors,
Often times I see emails from people who have friends who are interested in buying a house in our wonderful neighborhood, so I wanted to reach out to let you know our house (15 Greenwood Place- 3 bed/1 bath) is on the market and will be open this weekend. We’ve found another house (close by!) that we’re hoping to buy (that will better fit our growing family), so we’re looking for eager Suburban Park lovers who are ready to buy. If you know someone who might be interested, please have them (or their realtor) reach out to our agent for details ASAP: Sharon Walz 650-279-4652

There it is in the subject line: are you interested in buying in SubPar?  SubPar? That’s a, um, er, fascinating nickname for the Suburban Park area of Menlo Park. Have a look and see what you get in this special place where houses don’t last long on the market.  (Including this one, it sold in a week.  But no overbidding.)

15 Greenwood Pl, Menlo Park, CA 94025


SQ. FT.: 1,210
$/SQ. FT.: $825
LOT SIZE: 6,820 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Ranch, Traditional
COMMUNITY: Flood Park Area
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81105961
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 4 days

Coveted Suburban Park remodeled and updated jewel. Fabulous kitchen w/ granite counters, viking range, stainless steel top appliances. New windows, plantation shutters crown moldings and baseboards, receessed lighting, high end interior and exterior doors. Newer air conditioning and forced air. Garage is amazing playroom with heat and air. Amazing family neighborhood w Menlo Schools. A real 10+

imageYes, it might be SubPar, but it’s still a real 10+!  And the garage is an amazing playroom with heat and air.  That’s amazing alright.  Most of the houses I’ve looked at didn’t have to call out that they had a breathable gas mix.  Maybe in Menlo Park the atmosphere is so rarefied you had better verify before submitting an offer.  Perhaps that’s why the lighting is receessed.

You do realize that they’re saying this house is much too valuable to waste any space for parking cars.  Let’s see, viking range (small v), check, stainless steel appliances, check, granite counters, check, what’s missing?  Pergo?  Hummer on the driveway?  Letter from a would-be buyer?  5% first mortgage and 15% second, with no out-of-pocket?  How about what the 2004 sellers pulled off, listing the place for $795K and selling it for $904K?  Is this place worth more now than it was then?  Remember, the garage is an amazing playroom and it’s in an amazing family neighborhood. With schools, even.  That’s almost as amazing as the heat and air.

Comments (23) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 4:55 am