Here’s a great find in a decent part of Sunnyvale, which is like the quality line of Velveeta products, or the Premium label at JC Penney. You know it’s not that terrific, but it’s better than what the typical shopper buying that brand is going to get.
SQ. FT.: 1,380
$/SQ. FT.: $654
LOT SIZE: 7,752 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
YEAR BUILT: 1957
COUNTY: Santa Clara
ON REDFIN: 23 days
Staged for sale. Court location, just off of 85 freeway. Fresh interior paint. New flooring and crown molding accent. Great year around patio room, makes for great office. Garage converted into a large well finished multi-purpose room and separate laundry. Updated kitchen. Detached workshop taken as is. Large landscaped yard.
Maybe this listing needs to be translated from Realtardese back to English.
Staged for sale – As opposed to staged for impressing the neighbors
Court location – See you in bankruptcy court
just off of 85 freeway – This is completely 100% true! If the house were any closer you could use that solar-powered call box!
Fresh interior paint – To cover up all the blood, phlegm and tobacco stains on the walls
New flooring – Above dripped onto the old flooring
and crown molding accent – Owners need dental work AND elocution lessons
Great year around patio room – 1957 was the bee’s knees!
makes for great office – Since every year after then was a pretty ordinary one
Garage converted into a large well – It was pretty easy, we didn’t repair the roof and let the water collect
finished multi-purpose room – You can eat AND watch TV!
and separate laundry – Get to work! Darks here, lights here, bright colors in this basket. Don’t put your clothes drying rack in the garage, we converted it into a well.
Updated kitchen – Premium Formica with Naugahyde stools in harvest gold and avocado green!
Detached workshop taken as is – Leaving you with none of it
Large – compared to lots in South Palo Alto
landscaped yard – We didn’t rip the lawn out yet.
Oh, oh. You know what they didn’t say? There’s no mention of those amazing CUPERTINO SCHOOLS. Gasp! Is this seller not aware that this house has CUPERTINO SCHOOLS? And the Realtard didn’t mention it either? Maybe none of them know! Hurry! Buy this house before they figure it out and mark the price up to $1,088,888!