Remember the $75 million Los Altos Hills property that Yuri Milner bought?  It turned out that he actually paid $100 million, making it one of the most expensive private residential sales in the United States.  We’re #1!  We’re #1!

This one isn’t #2, but it’s still a pretty healthy chunk of change.

Silicon Valley Estate Hits Market for $59.5 Million

The Wall Street Journal, Private Properties, April 29th 2011

A 12-acre Silicon Valley property that belonged to a great-grandniece of Levi Strauss is asking $59.5 million.

The sellers of the Atherton, Calif., property, called Pine Brook, are the children of San Francisco philanthropist Madeleine Haas Russell, who died in 1999. The family has owned it for a century and used it as a summer retreat. There’s a main, English Tudor-style house of more than 11,000 square feet. There’s also a 6,500-square-foot guest house, a swimming pool, pool house, tennis court and gardens.

The family members say in a statement that they always intended to eventually sell the land. Listing agent Mary Gullixson of Alain Pinel Realtors says the estate is an unusually large offering.

Can’t find it on Zillow or Redfin, but a search for “Pine Brook Atherton” yields the address 237 Atherton Avenue, owned by Pine Brook LLC.  And that property is a 5 bedroom, 2 bath, 2050 square footer, with another 2280 unfinished.  And it’s sitting on… 414,600 square feet?  That’s nine and a half acres.  In Atherton.  So how did they get 12 acres, do they own some of the other parcels too?

Here it is from the back, best view there is.

But the WSJ piece says that the property has an 11,000 sf English Tudor main house and a 6,500 sf guest house.  Wonder who at the assessor’s office missed all that?  They sure fooled Zillow; the Zestimate on this place is $1,913,500, and you should be able to rent it for just $7828 a month.  And if you want a comp, here’s ten acres in Atherton with a much larger house that was offered for $22.5 and scooped up for only $18 million.

In 2007.

Obviously this listing is so hush hush that the agent won’t even feature it on her website.

A couple of weeks ago we featured this, um, charming house in Palo Alto.  Within 7 days, the price went up $150k, because if house was featured here, it was obviously worth far more than that lazy realtard had suggested!  Obviously he/she just wanted a quick commission and didn’t care how little money the bank netted after eating the first mortgage, the second mortgage, the HELOC, the hazardous cleaning team, and the poo guy.

But after making the front page of Burbed,  the Beautiful Eichler with Pool got a more upscale description: “Live down the street from $7,495,000 home.”

So without any further ado, here is the $7.5M house!  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for mentioning this house in comments.

1535 EDGEWOOD Dr, Palo Alto, CA 94303
$7,495,000

 

BEDS: 5
BATHS: 5.5
SQ. FT.: 7,743
$/SQ. FT.: $968
LOT SIZE: 0.43 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 3
YEAR BUILT: 2002
COMMUNITY: Green Gables
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81117522
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 4 days

Incredible Hampton Style home with all the bells and whistles. Great North Palo Alto location, large lot and terrific Palo Alto schools. A rare opportunity to get a move-in home of first class quality and design. Designed and built for family living, you won’t find anything like this available for sale within 20 miles, let alone in Palo Alto.

We’ve already discussed that a homedebtor can list a house for whatever s/he wants, but it’s what a buyer will pay for it that determines the “value.”  Back in the heady days of Pay Option ARMs and OPM and PPM (whoops, that refers to how much poo per million in the swimming area), a buyer would look at the asking price and offer 15% above that. Then they’d hope the homemade cookies, the family photo, and the offer to hand-wax the seller’s Porsche for the next five years would lead to an offer being accepted.  Now, with the housing market in freefall, anything goes, which unfortunately includes agents too lazy to include the full nine pictures on Redfin when six will do.  Just six pictures, for a house with an asking price of $7.5 million.

So, is this house actually worth $7.5M?  Don’t forget that it’s “down the street” from the Beautiful Eichler, let alone in Palo Alto.  0.7 miles “down the street.”

The good news is that for an extra $6.5 million, you aren’t next to a freeway exit ramp, so you have a better chance of pretending you’re in the Hamptons.  The bad news is you’re next to East Palo Alto instead. 

I mean next to EPA, not “down the street” from it.  Right behind the back yard on the other side of the creek is Collective Roots, a nonprofit that teaches sustainable gardening and food system change (I think that’s PC for eating stuff that was actually alive).  It’s educational, which means lots of East Palo Alto kids visit their site, which is behind this house.

Let’s take a good look at what kind of neighborhood you get for $7.5 million.

Yeah, you won’t find another $7.5 million place next to this much high-density housing within 20 miles!

Thanks to Burbed reader nomadic for alerting us to another housing blog that stumbled upon Real Bay Area Pricing and had trouble coming to terms with it.  Burbed readers, welcome to… Homes of the Rich.

Wow this site looks like it was designed by a MySpace refugee with a Detroit Tiger fetish.  All it’s missing is blinking text.

Charming $17.5 Million Home in Atherton, CA

This charming 2007 built home is located at 224 Park Lane in Atherton, CA. It boasts 9,956 square feet of living space with 6 bedrooms, 6 full and 3 half bathrooms, walnut floors throughout, wool carpeting in all bedrooms, Rumford-style fireplaces, masterfully finished millwork, great room with vaulted beamed ceiling, home office, gourmet kitchen with beautiful center island, wine cellar, home theater with 8 massage chairs, bar, swimming pool with spa and waterfall, outdoor firepit and fireplace, BBQ,guest house and a detached 3+ car garage. It is listed at a hefty $17,500,000.

CLICK HERE FOR THE LISTING

Tags: California, gym, home theater, swimming pool, wine cellar

And the “click here” is a dead link.  Yowza.  Fortunately, I findz it anywayz with teh internets:

224 PARK Ln, Atherton, CA 94027
$17,500,000

BEDS: 6
BATHS: 7.5
SQ. FT.: 9,956
$/SQ. FT.: $0
LOT SIZE: 1.01 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Traditional
STORIES: 3
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 2007
COMMUNITY: El Camino to Alameda
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81105759
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Sold

Custom home built in 2007 near the Menlo Circus Club. Tall ceilings, walnut floors, wool carpeting in all bedrooms & lower level, Rumford-style fireplaces, masterfully finished millwork. LOWER LEVEL has wine cellar, theatre w/ 8 massage chairs, exercise room (6th bd) w/ steam shower, 2nd FR w/ full bar. Pool/spa w/ waterfall, firepit, BBQ center, outdoor FP, GH w/ bath MP schools

Hey, we can guess how much this place sold for as well.  But back to Homes of the Rich.  Reading the comments reminds us just how different prices are here compared to almost anywhere else.  Plus, a little bonus: Here’s the ad running under the Atherton house right now:

Yeah, that tells me all I need to know about that site’s readership.

Here’s a find from Burbed reader nomadic, who keeps unearthing all sorts of delights in Los Gatos.  Thanks very much!

15681 KENNEDY Rd, Los Gatos, CA 95032
$7,495,000

BEDS: 7
BATHS: 12.5
SQ. FT.: 12,405
$/SQ. FT.: $604
LOT SIZE: 3.58 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: French
STORIES: 3
VIEW: Mountains
YEAR BUILT: 1991
COMMUNITY: Los Gatos/Monte Sereno
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81037550
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 263 days

Everything you ever dreamed of is right here in this magnificent French Chateau Estate. Main house 9,000sf, 6 complete suites, gold leafed fireplace, music room, library, wine cellar. Guest house is 3,500sf with guest suite, caterer’s kitchen, ballroom, theater, game room, onyx bar. Infinity pool, impressive portico, band and dance area many more special features. Incredible estate.

Here’s what nomadic had to say about this house:

Do you suppose this house comes with the band, and requires you to board all of the guests seated around the table? I guess for $7.5M you should get live-in entertainment included.

We already had a house ready for a party back at the beginning of the year, but this may be the first time the photos featured a party actually in progress.  Do you think the guests will sue or are they Facebooking their friends to say “Did you see I made Redfin?”  Actually from the age of this crowd I should ask if they’re telexing their friends, that is if they can’t get the houseboy to run down to Western Union.

Another thing to ask is just what this agent was trying to accomplish with this particular selection of photos.  It’s not so much that they’re bad photo, they aren’t.  But there’s a sameness about them that seems curious in trying to sell a home of this type.

Also I refrained from breaking out the little red arrows, but we have some mawbul kawlums going on here, or at least kawnkrete.

Okay, I’ll say it.  Seven and a half megageorges for this house, and they can’t be bothered to photograph the inside?  Maybe they’re trying the exclusivity angle by restricting the view to qualified buyers only.  But I’ve seen enough people pretending they have money when the whole financial structure is cantilevered atop playing cards and toothpicks, or in the real estate world, Different Piles of Other Peoples’ Money.  The upside of leverage is the profit when home prices go up, and the downside, well, if you aren’t smart enough to work that out then you get what you deserve.

Maybe they didn’t show the inside because the FBs can’t afford to furnish the place.

Okay, that was a cheap shot, but Redfin didn’t have a link to any other pictures.  I did go over to Zillow, intending to get the missing listing prices, and they had inside pictures plus they link to the virtual tour.  In a way, I’m kind of sorry I found it.  Not only is this place overdecorated like a simulacrum of “rich people’s furnishings,” the audio track is pseudo-wealthy music, too: the goddamned Pachelbel’s Canon in D.

I hate Pachelbel’s Canon with a passion.  Maybe that’s why the house hasn’t sold in more than two years. (253 days on Redfin, my sackbutt.)

This house may not be on VH1’s I Love the 1680s, but it sure loves 2006.  I say it’s going to party like it’s 1999.

Burbed reader sfbubblebuyer returns to the front page with another terrific find, and best of all…  It’s not in Vallejo and no hookers were lathered in cooking oil in providing this contribution. 

So let’s give another nice, warm RBA welcome to sfbubblebuyer, today’s guest blogger!

If you’ve ever wanted to pretend to have an English accent and snub the commoner Americans, this is the house for you! It’s modeled after Hampton Court in Middlesex, England! Now that’s a sexy sounding shire!

125 NORTHGATE St, Woodside, CA 94062
$12,900,000

BEDS: 6
BATHS: 8
SQ. FT.: 16,900
$/SQ. FT.: $763
LOT SIZE: 2.87 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Tudor
STORIES: 3
VIEW: Bay
YEAR BUILT: 1934
COMMUNITY: Woodside Heights
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81054806
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 141 days

The Buck Estate. Designed by noted architect Albert Farr, who modeled Buck after Hampton Court in Middlesex, England, a 16th century royal family residence. Brick & stucco cut stone, high Gothic arches, mullioned windows, slate roof, & bay views. Over 17,000 sq. ft. , ornate plaster details, beautiful rooms of original carved wood panelling. Truly rare & irreplaceable. Minutes from Atherton. 2.86 ac

You want columns?  Tough!  WE HAVE BUTTRESSES!  Columns are for the help. 

Specifically, the help in the kitchen.  That’s right, this house is so awesome, it sends the columns to the kitchen to help hold up the cabinets.

You have to be an arch to get any play in THIS building!  And not any old arch!  Our arches are RIBBED FOR YOUR PLEASURE! 

And as if that were not enough to get your trousers tight and your checkbook hot, we have GROIN VAULTS! (Seriously, this is called out in the listing on the virtual tour.)

And not just one, MULTIPLE GROIN VAULTS!

This house is a veritable REAL ESTATE ORGY! It’s turn key, and bowl-for-guest-keys, ready. But send the help to sleep in the carriage house, because things are gonna get funky in here tonight! Did I mention it’s in WOODside! Rowr!

Howdy again from your newest guest editor, sonarrat. Today, I’d like to talk with you a little bit about style and fashion. San Jose is known worldwide as an innovative city. We have more patents per capita than anywhere else in the world and are a Mecca for the high-tech industry. What we’re not known for, though, is having a strong cultural influence. The downtown movie theater is struggling, our music scene is fledgling at best, and for such a large city, the options for truly great dining are very limited. However, today’s house has a spark of the creative, the daring, and the unconventional. That’s why I’ve chosen to feature it today.

2052 Alameda Way, San Jose, CA 95126
$899,900

Beds: 4
Baths: 2
Sq. Ft.: 2,414
$/Sq. Ft.: $373
Lot Size: 7,498 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Spanish
Stories: 2
View: Mountains, Neighborhood
Year Built: 1925
Community: Central San Jose
County: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81112924
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active
On Redfin: 8 days

Awesome Spanish Villa. A Little of Past, A lot of Contemporary Features & Upgrades. You’ll Love to Entertain in Designer Kitchen: Solid Copper Counter Tops, Viking Professional Range, Top Custom Cabinets of Solid Honduran Mahogany, Tasteful Island of Honed Emperado Dark Marble, Shaw’s Orig. Sink (Ireland), Honed Travertine Floors. Mahogany Cased Custom Windows. .. too many features to list. Come By!

Are you excited yet? Overwhelmed? Maybe a little woozy? Let’s break this listing down. It’s a Spanish villa just steps from El Royal Road, so you know what to expect: fussy shrubberies, broad-leaved trees, windows that will cost more to replace than your BMW, and, of course, a white deer. Fascinating. In terms of old-world touches, we have a throwback to the 1800′s in the form of a copper countertop. In France, hammered copper used to be quite a favored material in the kitchen. It was cheap and easy to mold using simple hand tools; no hot work was required. However, one does have to question the utilitarian value and the durability of a polished copper counter. Will it turn green like an old penny? Not to matter: the impermanence of the material is part of its character.

Despite the name, most Honduran mahogany is now harvested from South Asia due to the American market being crippled by restrictions in the 1990s. This Fijian Honduran mahogany contrasts boldly with the yellow, white, stainless steel, cream, marble, glass, and darker woods in the kitchen. You may call it confused; I call it inspired.

Unfortunately, while the bathroom begs an explanation – that sink appears to be perfectly shaped so that the door won’t hit it – the listing agent decided to stop listing features at this point. In fact, he neglected to mention the house’s best feature, so I’d like to just point it out: you don’t have to keep this wonderful house all to yourself. In fact, the whole wide world comes right to your backyard. What better way to inspire a new generation of San Joseans to follow you off the beaten path than to put your individuality on display? I salute you, house!

Thanks very much to Burbed reader nomadic for finding this fascinating property that is today’s featured house. 

956 TERRA BELLA Ave, San Jose, CA 95125
$2,475,000

BEDS: 5
BATHS: 4
SQ. FT.: 5,000
$/SQ. FT.: $495
LOT SIZE: 0.36 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Tudor
STORIES: 2
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 2001
COMMUNITY: Willow Glen
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81103858
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 59 days

Custom Tudor estate close to downtown Willow Glen restaurants and shops! Formal entry has 28’ceilings, red oak hardwood floors, dramatic chandelier, formal spiral staircase. Formal dining/living rooms with wet bar over sized fireplace. Epicurean granite kitchen has top quality appliances. Expansive 2,000sf game room and 7 tandem car garage. Backyard with granite outdoor kitchen! And SO much more!

Here’s what nomadic had to say about this house:

I was checking out the most expensive houses in Willow Glen, wondering "who in their right mind would spend $2.5M to live there?"  Then I found this house.  This house has a seven car tandem garage.  It is two cars wide.  Check out the satellite view.  A house perfect for the car collector who doesn’t like to enjoy their cars and just keeps them in the garage all of the time.

Okay, check out the satellite view we shall!

Looks like the garage is the same size as the entire house.  Somebody had their priorities straight.  And I must say, a seven car tandem garage is pretty amusing, especially because the agent called it a “7 tandem car garage.”  Plus it’s got granite, both inside and outside, so you can have that bubbly mid-oughties feel.  But there’s a bonus in today’s feature, one I am very excited about.  I am so delighted because I get to break out the red arrows again!

Look, everyone, it’s the return of the MAWBUL KAWLUM.  Even in this master bedroom picture, there are all kinds of KAWLUM-like objects.

And the rooms that spared themselves KAWLUMnosity are almost as silly.  Like the dining room where the swag matches the built-in cabinets and the picture frame.

Or the wine cellar.  Nothing says grapes aged to perfection like halogen track lighting and both walls and ceiling painted to match Campbell’s Cream of Tomato Soup.

And what is that in the backyard at the right rear?  Looks like the covered wagon was left in place, to remind them of their pioneer roots. And they value their history so deeply they’d leave that hayseed dispenser on the grounds despite destroying the entire house and erecting this neo-Tudor with a bunch of fourdoors in the tandem garage.  There’s just the littlest hint of that 7 car garage in the upper left, showing how far they’ve come from horse-drawn farm vehicles.

Update: nomadic found the link to the virtual tour, so enjoy the 7 tandem car garage!

And a “bunus” picture FTW:

One of the recurring arguments for Real Bay Area (RBA) prices to never go down is that even if the local economy is in the tank, prices will be pushed back up by foreigners with suitcases full of cash.  Yeah, the idea has become a bit of a joke meme on Burbed, but looks like it has a kernel of truth.

Thanks to Burbed readers nomadic and Perfect Angel for sending this one in.

Mystery surrounds buyer of hilltop mansion in Los Altos Hills

By Pete Carey, San Jose Mercury News

Posted: 03/24/2011 03:30:25 PM PDT, Updated: 03/25/2011 11:30:02 AM PDT

Satellite view of the home on La Paloma Road in Los Altos Hills.

Someone paid $75 million last month for a 25,500-square-foot mansion in Los Altos Hills — complete with its own carwash — the biggest price tag for a house in Santa Clara County history. The big mystery is who.

What is known is that the buyer is La Paloma Property, according to county records. That is a limited liability company registered in Delaware, where business laws protect the identities of the principals in companies and partnerships.

The blog TechCrunch quoted “multiple sources” saying the buyer was Yuri Milner, the Russian venture investor who founded the investment fund Digital Sky Technologies, now known as DST Global.

Milner, a former particle physics graduate student, has made a splash in Silicon Valley with large investments in Facebook, Zynga and Groupon. And he’s been shopping for a home in Silicon Valley, real estate agents said.

Wow, who knew the Merc was still such a digital dinosaur?  I mean, seriously, how difficult would it have been for them to link to the TechCrunch article?  Yeah, it’s a little thin, but it’s got an angled overview of the house and it also says Milner isn’t planning on living there much anyway.

TechCrunch and the Merc didn’t print the address, but we will, because this is a housing blog.  This metastasized monstrosity is at 13310 La Paloma Road, Los Altos Hills.  Redfin only details the 1997 sale for $5.3 million, which was before the house in question was built.  The 2009 property tax bill lists the site valued at around $4M for land and $21M for additions, with a total bill of $200,644.

The house and 11 acre parcel belonged to Fred Chan, founder of Fremont-based ESS Technology, and was held under Evershine III.  The 5-bedroom, 9 bath house, when construction began in 2003, was going to be the largest private home in the county.  Assessor info says the house was built/renovated in 2009, which means planning and construction took six years from start to finish. Again, the Mercury news says they covered the home groundbreaking, but couldn’t be bothered to link to its old article (no doubt only available as a for-sale-from-our-archive item).  Looks like Chan found a place he liked better: the largest waterfront property in Oahu.

While some sources claimed the purchaser was not Yuri Milner, the Merc has followed up on its on story and said Milner is definitely the February 3rd buyer of the property.  Milner’s spokesman Leonid Solovyev did deny that pre-IPO shares of Facebook, or any other stocks were used to pay for the home that Milner doesn’t plan to live in much.

Looks like we’re back to the really big suitcase full of cash.

But if Milner doesn’t plan on living there much, maybe he could rent the place out when he’s elsewhere.  Zillow’s rent Zestimate is $4301 a month, which seems a touch low.  I’m sure he could get the upper end of the range, which is $2200-8600 a month.

Yet another terrific find came up in comments.  Our thanks to Burbed reader Tuno for finding this… indescribable property, where thought, labor and love… couldn’t come up with a copywriter who could pass high school English.

2544 Butch Dr, Gilroy, CA 95020
$4,999,000

BEDS: 6
BATHS: 9.5
SQ. FT.: 10,300
$/SQ. FT.: $485
LOT SIZE: 10.21 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Mediterranean
STORIES: 3
VIEW: Mountains, Valley, City Lights
YEAR BUILT: 1991
COMMUNITY: Morgan Hill/Gilroy/San Martin
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81105945
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 19 days

TASTEFUL ELEGANCE & QUALITY BEST DESCRIBE THIS TRULY UNRIVALED ESTATE SETTING!YEARS WERE EXSPENDED WITH THOUGHT, LABOR & LOVE TO COMPLETE THIS OWNERS VISION OF THE ULTIMATE EQUESTRIAN ESTATE * OVER 10,000SF OF LUXURY LIVING W ATTCHED AU PAIR QRT * OVER A MILLION $ RECENTLY INVESTED IN A RESORT LIKE OAIS W CUSTOM POOL & OUTDOOR KITCHEN * ADJOINING 10AC PARCEL BOASTS A 1ST CLASS EQUESTRIAN FACILITY W 8STALL

Here’s what Tuno had to say about this, um, listing:

pretty incredible, esp. for Gilroy

Then Burbed reader nomadic nails it:

The first pic look straight out of a Shrek cartoon.

Too bad this owner EXSPENDED so many YEARS with THOUGHT, LABOR and LOVE, because this property is the OWNERS VISION OF THE ULTIMATE EQUESTRIAN ESTATE.  Perhaps it would be yours too? 

As featured in the most recent Thomas Kinkade, Painter of Light, gallery tour of East Tracy.  I think that means he doesn’t use very much paint.  Like just one coat.

Maybe the exterior is by Kinkade, but this staircase at right was obviously designed by M.C. Escher.  They could have used something like this in Inception to keep the assassins from finding them so fast.  Also wouldn’t it be great to see a freight train knock down that statue?

Oh dear, is that… our first sighting of… that hallmark of CLASS and KULCHUCH?  It’s hiding in the back left.

No I must have imagined it.  Nothing but overdone French provincial dining set, probably not even included with the house.

YESSSSS!!!!!!!  MAWBUL KAWLUMS!!!!!  FTW!!!!

A sky you can’t believe in.  They must have had Kinkade paint that too.

The horse facility is actually better than most of the houses we feature, although that really isn’t saying much.  W 8STALL.  But remember, this is on the ADJOINING 10AC PARCEL.

All set to put in a vineyard… as long as you can come up with about four million acre feet of water.  And once you do, then you’ll have your RESORT LIKE OAIS.

$3,288,000

2577 RAMONA St Palo Alto, CA 94301

Beds:	9
Baths:	6.5
Sq. Ft.:	4,627
$/Sq. Ft.:	$711
Lot Size:	8,070 Sq. Ft.
Property Type:	Detached Single Family
Style:	Contemporary, French, Mediterranean
Stories:	3
View:	Mountains, Neighborhood
Year Built:	2006
Community:	Midtown
County:	Santa Clara
MLS#:	81105993
Source:	MLSListings
Status:	ActiveThis listing is for sale and the sellers are accepting offers.
On Redfin:	12 days

VERY NEW/ BEAUTIFUL 9 BD/6.5 BA; GREAT 4 TODAY’s LIFE/ENTERTAINMENT; PRIME LOCATION/QUIET 2Side CueDeSac ST; LOTS NEW HOUSE AROUND; FUNCTIONAL/FLEXIBLE FLR PLAN/RMs; 2 PRKG W 400 SF; GOMT KITCHEN; MASTERBR W SIT RM; TOPLINE MTL/APPLICANCES; THEATRE/DANCNG FLR; SAUNA; BAR; GYM, GAME RM; WINE C; LOTS FEATURES; HG CEILING; 2 GREAT ROOM/2 LAUNDRY; GRAND/BRIGHT/DETAILS; BIG FRONT/BACK YARD W PATIO/TRILLIS

Thanks to Burbed reader M for this find!

Here’s what M had to say:

I know we aren’t supposed to discuss the city which cannot be named, but this house is just so perfect.

http://www.mlslistings.com/2577-RAMONA-ST-Palo-Alto-CA~i19$1013434$RES

Love the agent’s grammar. He will make just $100,000 on this sale, so he clearly can’t afford keyboard that doesn’t produce all caps. Oops, there are a couple of words in there that aren’t, like "QUIET 2Side CueDeSac". What exactly is a CueDeSac? I’m guessing either a place to store your custom-made pool sticks, or a bag that hold
s your signals to go on stage. No matter, this house has LOTS FEATURES and is GREAT 4 TODAY’s LIFE/ENTERTAINMENT. Hey, there is also a "TRILLIS", which must mean something that supports the piano flourishes your little snowflakes can play. With nine bedrooms, everyone in a family of nine can have their own bedroom with one left over for the in-laws.

I’m sure many people want to cook in a GOMT KITCHEN, no matter if it actually contains TOPLINE MTL or APPLIANCES.

Never had a sale since it was new in 2006. I guess it isn’t one of the LOTS NEW HOUSE AROUND. At this rate, it’s going to be Old Palo Alto without ever being lived in. Buy it now or be priced out forever!

Dude this house is totally aimed at all the Facebookers and Twitterers who are about to become rich! Know your customer! Speak their language! Shrt is betr. Drp lttrs to sv spce. TL;DR.