A couple of weeks ago we featured this, um, charming house in Palo Alto.  Within 7 days, the price went up $150k, because if house was featured here, it was obviously worth far more than that lazy realtard had suggested!  Obviously he/she just wanted a quick commission and didn’t care how little money the bank netted after eating the first mortgage, the second mortgage, the HELOC, the hazardous cleaning team, and the poo guy.

But after making the front page of Burbed,  the Beautiful Eichler with Pool got a more upscale description: “Live down the street from $7,495,000 home.”

So without any further ado, here is the $7.5M house!  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for mentioning this house in comments.

1535 EDGEWOOD Dr, Palo Alto, CA 94303
$7,495,000

 

BEDS: 5
BATHS: 5.5
SQ. FT.: 7,743
$/SQ. FT.: $968
LOT SIZE: 0.43 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 3
YEAR BUILT: 2002
COMMUNITY: Green Gables
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81117522
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 4 days

Incredible Hampton Style home with all the bells and whistles. Great North Palo Alto location, large lot and terrific Palo Alto schools. A rare opportunity to get a move-in home of first class quality and design. Designed and built for family living, you won’t find anything like this available for sale within 20 miles, let alone in Palo Alto.

We’ve already discussed that a homedebtor can list a house for whatever s/he wants, but it’s what a buyer will pay for it that determines the “value.”  Back in the heady days of Pay Option ARMs and OPM and PPM (whoops, that refers to how much poo per million in the swimming area), a buyer would look at the asking price and offer 15% above that. Then they’d hope the homemade cookies, the family photo, and the offer to hand-wax the seller’s Porsche for the next five years would lead to an offer being accepted.  Now, with the housing market in freefall, anything goes, which unfortunately includes agents too lazy to include the full nine pictures on Redfin when six will do.  Just six pictures, for a house with an asking price of $7.5 million.

So, is this house actually worth $7.5M?  Don’t forget that it’s “down the street” from the Beautiful Eichler, let alone in Palo Alto.  0.7 miles “down the street.”

The good news is that for an extra $6.5 million, you aren’t next to a freeway exit ramp, so you have a better chance of pretending you’re in the Hamptons.  The bad news is you’re next to East Palo Alto instead. 

I mean next to EPA, not “down the street” from it.  Right behind the back yard on the other side of the creek is Collective Roots, a nonprofit that teaches sustainable gardening and food system change (I think that’s PC for eating stuff that was actually alive).  It’s educational, which means lots of East Palo Alto kids visit their site, which is behind this house.

Let’s take a good look at what kind of neighborhood you get for $7.5 million.

Yeah, you won’t find another $7.5 million place next to this much high-density housing within 20 miles!

Here’s a great find by Burbed reader sfbubblebuyer, from the comments.  Usually we prefer that you send listings to us so everyone can enjoy discovering it together, but sometimes a shared find is so notable, so amazing, so completely without any value to a buyer but lots of value to a reader, it deserves the full Burbed treatment.  And there’s plenty to note here!

2115 EDGEWOOD Dr, Palo Alto, CA 94303
$850,000

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,614
$/SQ. FT.: $527
LOT SIZE: 7,875 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1VIEW:
Neighborhood YEAR BUILT: 1956
COMMUNITY: Green Gables
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81113857
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 5 days

beautiful eichler home * Great value * Backs to the exit from 101 to Embarcadero. Make offer subject to inspection please. ..

Here’s what sfbubblebuyer had to say about this “beautiful eichler home.”  It was not “* Great value *”

If they’re going to drop a deuce like that on us, they should at least PRICE it like a PA deuce.

 

This isn’t a deuce, sfbb!  This one is at least an eight, as in I sure would eight to live here!  Wow, complete with an exit ramp?  I can’t wait to submit my overbid.

But wait, there’s more!

All those lines, the wall, the ceiling, the radiator, the fence… it’s a perspective exercise from hell.  Agent must have flunked out of art school.

You know who else didn’t finish art school?  That’s right!  HITLER!

 

 

…the drawers, the tiles, the transoms, make it stop, I’ll tell you where the secret codes are kept, I’ll confess anything you want…

 

Did this agent not take Real Estate Photography for Dummies* and Why You Should Never Photograph Outside When Sun Is High?

Plus a US Mailbox, conveniently located right in the backyard!

*But I repeat myself.

 

Whoa.  That carpet, so suggestive of Bermuda.  If Bermuda’s waters were cut on 90 degree angles and careless aligned.  And what’s with the sky in these pictures?  Did someone take a 2 hour Real Estate Photography and How to Use Photoshop to Make That Sale instead of the full 16 hour series?

 

 

Rather nice of them to show us the pool without the Bermuda carpet.  Everybody in!

 

 

Ah, blissful summer days, playing Marco Polo until the all the ponies drowned.

Seeing the pool like this sure gives you a whole new perspective on the pleasures of owning one.

 

 

I think this last photo is my favorite.  Note clever product placement in foreground.

You know what? This house isn’t a deuce and it an eight either.  This is a Jack!

As in, would somebody please take a Jackhammer to this place?

2375 SIERRA Ct Palo Alto, CA 94303
Price: $1,199,000

Beds:     3
Baths:     3
Sq. Ft.:     885
$/Sq. Ft.:     $1,355
Lot Size:     7,620 Sq. Ft.
Age (Years):    58
Year Built:    1950
Type:    Detached Single Family
Stories:    1 Story
View(s):    Neighborhood
Neighborhood:    Green Gables
County:     Santa Clara

Must see. Move in condition. Live in exisitng or build your dream home. Cul-du-sac. Nice neighbourhood. Easy access to freeway. Close to midtown. No sign, no lockbox. Sellers are moving out of town & want quick close. “AS IS” Sale. Open house Aug 9 from 1.30pm to 3pm. Still accepting offers.

Burbed reader Michelle originally sent this to me at the end of July, but I missed it (junk mail folder woes.) Here’s what she had to say then:

Take a look at this gem, new to the market.  Priced for 34% appreciation in 36 months!

Crappy part of Palo Alto and “just” $1242/sf on a small-ish lot.  The buyers will have to act fast – offers are due this Tuesday.  Time for all of those bids to rush in.  (And I have to wonder, if the realtor says this place is “move in condition” then maybe he/she is color blind.)

Guess what Michelle! It looks like you should’ve bought it back then because the price has already appreciated an additional 9% since it was listed. Damn! Ouch!

Besides, is this really so bad?

The TV mounted over the stove gives it a certain retro-bling feel. Plus, these are Palo Alto schools!

Honestly, if you’re interested in this house you’d better buy it ASAP. Otherwise, I can easily see the sqft appreciate another 9% by the end of the month. This is Real Bay Area Prime Platinum. Better quick on the draw!