Today we’re Making the last post of the first half of this Blogging from A to Z Challenge. Today’s letter: M for Mountain View. Of course Mountain View, what other city has best Manifested Bay Area Bubble 4.0? Sure, Palo Alto can show insane prices and we can find people camped out for days to buy a condo in the East Bay.  But Mountain View has More. More Multiple offers. More Maximum overbids. More Million dollar crapshacks.

And Most of all, More close to Google.  Thanks very Much to Burbed reader LomaLuvr for this Masterpiece.

1112 BORANDA Ave
Mountain View, CA 94040
$13,000,000

16 Beds
12 Baths
25,353 Sq. Ft.
$513 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2008
Lot Size: 0.73 Acres
On Redfin: 24 days
Stories: 2
Community: Miramonte
MLS#: 81308939

Great opportunity to own a condo mapped project . Currently run as an apartment complex. Units may be sold individually. Quality built in 2008. Great location with walking distance to Bubb elementary, downtown MV. Each high end unit is 4/3, 2100 sq ft, 2 parking spaces plus storage room, private patio and yard. Luxurious master suite with walk in closet, inside laundry. Access controlled building.

Can’t Make an onsite visit? There’s a virtual tour where all you need is to Move your Mouse. Also that’s where we learned there are 12 units in the “community.”

We chose this because it’s a Mystery. Is it 4 units for sale in a 12 unit Maze? Who gets to Maintain the controlling interest in the other 8?  How Much will you have to Milk the Planning Commission to Metamorphosize these Maisonettes into condos? Who owns the rest of the Multiple-Family Complex? How Much is too Much to Mooch for HOA?

So Many Matters to Mull over.

Reminder: It’s tax deadline today. Don’t Mistakenly Meander with the Mail.

Welcome back to Day #4 of the Danged blogging from A to Z challenge. Despite Dropout, we’re Determined to Drag our Dozen Dear readers through Daily Dumps!

Excuse us.  We’re got a Delightful Domicile for your to Drool on the Drapes! But Don’t Despair! We’re Driving a Distance to Danville for this Detached single family Dreck.

Drop any Disgust; the Day’s Display Deserves Decent Drama.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Kim from the East Bay for this Donation.

531 FERNCROFT Ct
Danville, CA 94526
Sold for $678,000

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,938 Sq. Ft.
$350 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1974
Lot Size: 9,963 Sq. Ft.
Sold On: Mar 27, 2013
Type: Detached
Stories: 1
County: Contra Costa
Style: Ranch
Community: Danville
MLS#: 40604422

Wonderful ranch style home on a large, private lot. Vaulted ceilings in family room w/ wood burning fireplace. Dine in kitchen with newer appliances. Formal dining room and living room. Dual pane windows. Large parklike backyard with patio. Home needs some TLC.

Let’s Dial in with Kim:

Look at the listing history:

Listed for $650 a mere 24 hours after being purchased for $565K (Feb 21-22) Closes on March 27 for $678

BUY NOW OR BE PRICED OUT FOREVER!!!

You can’t even call it a flip since he may as well just have used the same listing photos.. the only difference is the house is vacant. Not a bad profit for zero work.

Don’t Diss the Dealer! Why Do you Despise Democracy so much? Maybe you should Dig Ditches in Da Nang if you Don’t Declare Dittoes! Dude, we Direct you to the old Data.  The Dated Depictions are worth a Detour, as the Domicile is not only Decorated, we even found a Double-Double DHO (Dudettes Hanging Out) Distinction! (see left side mirror and its Doppelgangers).

Also the previous listing features lawn Décor from another Development, Different Date, Domain… it looks like a Disk from the Island of Yap.

Or a Demon-sized Donut.

D’oh!

The Detail:

It’s the second day of the A to Z Blogging Challenge and our readers are already Bored!  So let’s Blow off any more Bitching and proceed to today’s Bodacious Beauty!  Also Bear in mind that B is not only for Burbed, it appears twice therein!

Okay, we swear we won’t Bother Belaboring the Best Blog in the Bay Area!

804 MILLER Ave
Belmont, CA 94002
$1,900,000

2 Beds
1 Baths
1,030 Sq. Ft.
$1,845 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1926
Lot Size: 4,500 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 4 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
View: Valley
County: San Mateo
Stories: 1
Community: Belmont Country Club
MLS#: 81309791

Approximately 20,000 square feet per county records, made up of 4 beautiful lots with level areas. On one lot, there is a small 2/1 with a detached 2 car garage. See the city to determine the development possibilities of this property. .. possibly 4 new homes! Needs to be sold all as one package.

Note that weasel word: possibly! Possibly 4 new homes! Possibly the most expensive 1000 sf house on 4500 square feet in the history of Belmont real estate sales. Possibly a Big Boost toward Buyer’s Bona fide Bankruptcy.  Inotherwords: Buy and Believe!

Buh-Bye!

Answer: The RBA is being bought up by foreigners with suitcases full of cash going to individual sellers.  Not the Real Bay Area is being bought up by investors with envelopes full of cashiers checks going to banks.

Report: Investors buy nearly half of Oakland’s foreclosed homes

Real estate firms turning properties into rentals, becoming "massive landlords" in some neighborhoods, critics say

by Aaron Glantz, Bay Citizen — June 28, 2012, 11:01 a.m.

The rental listing advertises a “gorgeous remodeled craftsman-style house” with three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a converted basement, a large deck and a backyard for $2,595 a month.

Eight months ago, this West Oakland home was owned and occupied by Theodros Shawl, a local chiropractor. Shawl bought the house in 2004, his first since emigrating from Ethiopia in 1990. Over the years, Shawl said, he rebuilt the home’s foundation and replaced its aging plumbing and electrical systems.

“I liked the fact that it was an older home, that I could repair and paint and fix there on the weekends. I was always at Home Depot,” said Shawl, 40. “I was living the American Dream.”

Last October, after being sidelined with a wrist injury, Shawl lost his home to foreclosure; in May, Bank of America sold it to a real estate investment firm, REO Homes 2 LLC, a company founded in 2010 by Bay Area businessman Neill Sullivan.

Lest you think this is a trend only in the depressed parts of the Bay Area, we assure you that it isn’t.  Real Estate Investment Trusts are back, mostly because there doesn’t seem to be a lot of places to get reasonable returns these days.  A recent article in The New Republic covers the growing national trend of paying cash for foreclosures and turning them into rentals.  Needless to say, actual would-be buyers are finding themselves aced out of the bottom-feeding.

Your New Landlord Works on Wall Street

Hedge funds are snatching up rental homes at an alarming rate

BY DAVID DAYEN, The New Republic, February 16, 2013

Housing analysts have been giddy for the past year about the comeback of their industry, whose collapse led to the Great Recession. Sure, 2012 was actually the third-worst year for housing ever—but it still beat 2010 and 2011. New and existing home sales, housing starts, and prices jumped in 2012, and experts expect an even stronger recovery for 2013.

It’s clear why people are so excited: Housing typically leads economic recoveries. As more people build equity in their homes, they feel more free to spend disposable income and increase economic activity, a phenomenon known as the “wealth effect.”  So a bullish outlook for housing would seemingly augur a long-awaited recovery to Main Street. But the more you look into it, the clearer it becomes that it’s not being driven by the typical American families who lost their homes in the economic crash. In fact, it’s being fueled by the banks and hedge funds whose speculation caused that crash in the first place.

If you’ve signed a lease in the past year, there’s a good chance your landlord wears a tailored suit and works on Wall Street. One of the hottest trends in the financial sector is known as “REO-to-rental.” Over the past couple years, hedge funds, private equity firms and the biggest banks have raised massive amounts of capital to buy distressed or foreclosed single-family homes, often in bulk, at bargain prices. Their strategy is to convert them to rental units for a while before reselling them when prices appreciate. The Wall Street firms are scooping up properties in the hardest-hit areas, promising high returns for the rental revenue streams—up to 10 percent annually —and starting bidding wars that have driven up some prices well above national averages. It’s the next Wall Street gold rush, with all the warning signs of a renewed speculative bubble.

Enjoy the Open Houses you’ll be making offers on but not buying because some sovereign wealth fund is outbidding you.

How much should land in the Real Bay Area cost, when they aren’t making any more of it?  It’s hard to tell, as most of it is already covered with houses.  But today’s featured property, courtesy of Burbed reader Michael Boltonestater, may help us get an idea.  All together now: Mountain View, so close to Google!

344 BRYANT Ave
Mountain View, CA 94040
$4,400,000

3 Beds 
1 Baths 
1,216 Sq. Ft.
$3,618 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1953 
Lot Size: 0.93 Acres 
On Redfin: 1 day
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Grant
MLS#: 81301915
Style: Traditional, Cottage/Bungalow
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara

3BR/1BA WITH SPACIOUS KITCHEN OVERLOOKING YARD. FEATURES INCLUDE LIVING ROOM WITH REFINISHED HARDWOOD FLOORS, INSIDE LAUNDRY ROOM WITH PANTRY, & APPROVED PLANS FOR REMODEL/EXPANSION INTO SPACIOUS ATTIC AREA. POSSIBLE 4 LOT SUBDIVISION ON APPROXIMATELY 40,000SF LOT (. 93 ACRES). OUTSTANDING DEVELOPMENT OPTIONS WITH ACCESS FROM BRYANT FILOMENA COURT. IDEALLY LOCATED IN WELL ESTABLISHED NEIGHBORHOOD.

You know the agent is just phoning this one in to long list of OPPORTUNITY-minded investors. Otherwise, this house with all its expansion plans could have easily been featured instead of just an aerial shot.  Heck, Google even managed to find something once we realized the Redfin map was pointing to the wrong place (over at Beaumont and Apricot, and wonder why that happened, huh?)

Also look at this very odd cul-de-sac that abuts the property (right underneath the lot on the lower right).  Looks like it only culled half de sac.

So, do you think land in Mountain View in a good zip without the good schools is worth a million for a quarter acre?  Can you make money as a developer when your land costs are that high?  New homes in nearby Enclave at Waverly Park development (the old Pumpkin Patch property) went for $2M+, but they built 53 big houses there.  Hard to get economies of scale when this lot will support four of them.

Perhaps the third time’s a charm for this huge investment opportunity. The buyer is sticking to this price regardless of which agent has the deal.

Want to be a real estate mover and shaker? Start today by buying this property that features 2, yes (2) lots!  Think of all the ways you could take advantage of this amazing zoning opportunity.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for sending us this salubrious spread in Santa Clara!

2710 PRUNERIDGE Ave
Santa Clara, CA 95051
$1,575,000

4 Beds 
3 Baths 
2,254 Sq. Ft.
$699 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1961 
Lot Size: 10,270 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 6 days
Status: Active
Property Type
Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81300520
Style: Ranch
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara

(2)Lots for Sale With Building Plans for (2)Custom Homes. (Sold Together) Lot #1 APN 294-32-041: 4Br/5Ba, 2 Story Custom Home:3,454s. f. with (2)Car Garage. Lot Size: 8,614s. f. Cupertino Schools!! Lot #2 APN294-32-042: 4Br/5Ba, 2 Story Custom Home: 3,243s. f. with (2)Car Garage. Lot Size: 8,002s. f. Santa Clara Schools. (Lot Lines Adjusted per S. F. )Existing 4Br/3Ba Home Encroaches on New Property Line.

Wow, was that listing copy written by an attorney who doesn’t want anyone to notice the details? Or perhaps a claustrophobic, because whoever typed that in is afraid of spaces.  Now let’s have a good look at this opportunity with an existing 52 year old house that encroaches on New Property Line.

The red line appears to be for Lot #1, the bigger 8614 sf parcel. As you can see it cuts through the east side of the existing house, but fortunately, it did not bring the cooties of Santa Clara Schools all the way to the front door.

Yes, we hope you noticed that Lot #1 is Cupertino Schools and Lot #2 isn’t.  But wait! There’s more!

See those little words in the driveway?  Yes, technically your driveway is an actual city street that ends a few feet before the back fence.  Here’s another look at the neighborhood.

So not only do you have one house with several inches on the other lotline, you also have a named city street taking up most of it.

How are you going to design your way out of this configuration?  We assume one of the lots boasts a Portal to Hell for extra storage.

One other solution: Street Fair Every Day.  Now we’re talking Serious Opportunity!  Call up some of those Gourmet Food Trucks, have them kick back some of the take, and you’ll be paying this place off in no time. 

Bunus: Santa Clara Utilities for all!

While you’re busy getting your last-minute Christmas shopping and decoration and cooking done, think about celebrating the holiday with your extended family. Now think about what it means to turn home, hearth, family, and grandparents into that All-American concept of… making a buck off it.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader J.C. for showing us what the true spirit of the holidays is about.

631 DUNHOLME Way
Sunnyvale, CA 94087
$1,395,000

6 Beds 
4 Baths 
2,852 Sq. Ft.
$489 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1976 
Lot Size: 10,176 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 65 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Sunnyvale
MLS#: 81238349
Style: Traditional
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara

Great opportunity for business , Clean private residence, elderly care facility , fully furnish, with pool.

Here’s what J.C. thought when sending us this listing:

Complete with pictures of elderly residents that come with the home!

A perfect purchase to ensure you won’t be lonely this Christmas!  Or New Years!

We may or may not be taking tomorrow off, but we’ll have some year-end closeout sales waiting when we return. 

If we return.  Because we could have been reading those stone disks all wrong and the world could end this week.

We’ve just been alerted that we’ve been neglecting Mountain View property, which we are contractually required to discuss every ten minutes.  And it’s been ten whole days! Fortunately, Burbed reader Michael Boltonestater sent us this beaut, which we promptly misplaced during the Black Friday Sales.  Consider this a “we found it in the back of the storeroom” slightly mussed listing. It’s both pending… and selling shortly!    

492 N WHISMAN Rd
Mountain View, CA 94043
$750,000

4 Beds 
2 Baths 
1,748 Sq. Ft.
$429 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1965 
Lot Size: 0.25 Acres 
On Redfin: 33 days
Status: Pending With Release
Stories: 1
Community: Whisman
MLS#: 81241148
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara

Short Sale! Charming two unit property located in Whisman Area of Mountain View. Huff Elementary, Crittenden Middle and Mt View High. Live in one, rent the other or great investment opportunity! HUGE 10,890 sf corner Lot. R-2 zoning provides multiple use scenarios. Both units are 2 bed /1 bath w/ laundry, garage AND carport. Please DO NOT Disturb Occupants!

It’s a great investment opportunity!  That’s because the current owners are passing the savings along to you rather than the bank.  Yes, savings.  If you had bought this property in 2006, like these investors did, the RBA would have done its magic and increased it by more than half its value in just six years.  And if you were smart and leveraged yourself with a 20% down, 10% down, 5% down, or even ZERO DOWN, then your investment returns would be much, much higher! 

Let’s calculate them, shall we?

So a little over a million dollars, put down 20%, looks like that investment… is now going to be someone else’s instant equity. So, bets on the over/under compared to 2003′s sale price?  Now that provides multiple use scenarios.

Donate that unneeded realty to charity!  UCSF is ready to take that spare structure off your swollen asset list.  Thanks to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for passing this handy space-saving tip along.

Not only that, if you donate RBA real estate, you could get your picture in a newletter like this!  There’s more, too!  See, lots of people are giving it away! Don’t be the last on your block to give away your other block!

Do you have any other ideas of what to do with your excess real estate?

Updated 17:53 — PG asked that you be given the privilege of actually reading this newsletter. A larger version of Page 1 is now available by clicking its image above, as well as a larger combined spread.  Here, separately, are Page 2 and Page 3.

The secret to being rich is to start off rich.  Don’t believe us?  It’s true, and it’s how Mark Zuckerberg bought his house in Palo Alto.  Let’s hear from Burbed reader nomadic, who alerted us to this excellent opportunity. To go bankrupt!

Here’s the letter I got in the mail offering super-low interest rates on a loan secured by a stock portfolio.  The beauty of it is that the interest rate goes down the higher the loan amount – the opposite of what working stiffs get when they want a super-jumbo loan to buy a house in the RBA.  (Then again, the larger the stock portfolio, the smaller the risk?)

This must be how Zuck got his ultra-low interest rate on his mortgage.  Interesting that they don’t mention a mortgage in their “average loan rates” example.

The headline above doesn’t say pay three to four percent interest.  It says pay three quarters of a percent interest.  Let me repeat that.  You can buy a house at 0.76 percent interest.  All you need is a sufficiently healthy stock portfolio to borrow at least $3.5 million against. 

Whoops.  All you need is an investment portfolio at this particular online brokerage.  For loans under $50K, you need to have twice that in your brokerage account.  With this firm.  But!  Remember about rich people getting richer? The more you have, the more you save. The more you have, the more you can borrow, too.  If you “qualify” and have an account over $100,000, you could borrow against 85% of your assets.

Remember how well things went when anyone who could fog a mirror could buy a house for nothing down? This is an even better idea! Borrow against your investments, and if the underlying value drops, then you have to pay some of the money back immediately, or sell assets to cover it. Good thing you’ll have a bunch of equity in your new house that you could borrow against to pay back your brokerage account you borrowed against in the first place.  This sounds like a perpetual equity motion machine.

Open your portfolio, open your wallet, open your eyes, and we’re opening this thread to any topic you wish.