Did you ever shop at a warehouse club and have to buy three of something when one was all you needed?  This listing, sent in by Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer, will make you feel like you’re caught in the gloomy caverns of Costco.  Only it’s real estate, so it will cost more than $200 to pass GOogle.

This may be the cheapest house in Mountain View, if you buy in bulk!

674 WILLOWGATE St, Mountain View, CA 94043
$1,250,000

BEDS: 6
BATHS: 3
SQ. FT.: 720
$/SQ. FT.: $1,736
LOT SIZE: 0.32 Acres
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1965
COMMUNITY: North Shoreline
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81112528
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 256 days

THREE 2 BEDROOM 1 BATH HOMES ALL UPDATED IN WALKING DISTANCE TO DOWNTOWN MOUNTAIN VIEW. ALL HOMES HAVE THERE OWN GARAGES. AMPLE INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITIES . MATURE LAND CONVENIENTLY LOCATED TO CENTRAL EXPY AND 85 YET STILL PRIVATE. LIVE HERE AND RENT OUT OR RENT OUT ALL 3 ENJOY THE LOCAL TRAILS AT DAY & DINE DOWNTOWN AT NIGHT. BUYER TO VERIFY SF. EXPENSES BASED UPON SELLERS EST.

Take that, Palo Alto!  This place is listed at a whopping $1736 a square foot!  In your dreams beating this one!

I can’t understand why these bargain has been wasting away on Redfin for so long?  Three different houses, if you get tired of one, then move into another one!  Rent out one, two, or all 3!

Haven’t you always wanted to be a slumlord?  This is your chance to get in at the ground level.

And talk about location, location, location?  Just steps away from the train station!

You’re going to have to step across Central Expressway, but that will get you into great shape fast!

Whoops!  Thought we were all done with our countywide specials, didn’t you?  I sure thought we were, but Burbed reader Wahnny was kind enough to send in these DEALS DEALS DEALS all the way from Monterey County!

Let’s see if we can “drive a little, save a lot” by driving past Gilroy.  Way past Gilroy.  And give your Guest Blogger for today, Wahnny, a big, warm Real Bay Area welcome!

175 SPRUCE Dr, South Monterey County, CA 93930
$99,999

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,242
$/SQ. FT.: $81
LOT SIZE: 6,424 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1999
COMMUNITY: King City/Pine Canyon
COUNTY: Monterey
MLS#: 81147479
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 20 days

Great Single Story 4 bedroom , 2 bath home in quaint King City; in good shape, featuring good size bedrooms, tile flooring in the kitchen and more. Nice home; This one will go fast!

Sunday’s Black Friday Deals mentioned finding deals near and far … well, Redfin’s coverage of the SFBA apparently ends in Monterey County, and here’s the furthest non-pending home for sale that they list.

This 4B/2Ba 1200+sqft SFR house was built in 1999 and is selling for under $100K. Not too bad if one can hack a 2+ hour / ~100 mile daily commute to the Bay Area. There are cheaper/older ones a little further north, the cheapest being this one.

136 7th St, South Monterey County, CA 93927
$64,900

BEDS: 2
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 597
$/SQ. FT.: $109
LOT SIZE: 7,500 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1935
COMMUNITY: Greenfield
COUNTY: Monterey
MLS#: 81148985
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 4 days

Cute and adored 2 bed home on a huge lot with alley access, brick bbq pit, garden shed and mature garden. Newer kitchen cabinets and bathroom. Great curb appeal with picket fence and gorgeous yard.

Although it’s half the size and 60+ years older than the first one, it may be worth the $34K decrease in price for the 20+ minute / ~12 mile advantage in commute savings.

Here’s a San Carlos special for you, from Burbed reader Kirill!  Thanks very much!

Why is this house Special?  It has “the best local schools” and “convenient access anywhere on the Peninsula”! That means there are schools assigned to this location, which makes them the only (best) ones. It also means that the house is on a street that connects to other streets.

Maybe this agent didn’t take a logic class because we’ve already found two tautologies.  Or maybe this agent did take a logic class, because there are buyers who think “best local schools” actually means something.

399 WINDING Way, San Carlos, CA 94070
$624,500

BEDS: 2
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 780
$/SQ. FT.: $801
LOT SIZE: 0.37 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Cottage/Bungalow
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood, Valley
YEAR BUILT: 1933
COMMUNITY: Beverly Terrace
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81145448
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Pending Without Release
ON REDFIN: 33 days

Country-style cottage in natural setting. Tranquil and quiet neighborhood with views and trails in San Carlos hills. A getaway location with convenient access anywhere on the peninsula. Best local schools, and great place to raise a family. Huge lot with many possibilities.

Here’s why Kirill sent this property in:

Thought it would be good candidate for Burbed due to combination of  diminutive size, insane price per sq. foot, one car garage separated from the house by long stairs and suggestion that it would be a "great place to raise a family" in the description.

But it is a great place to raise a family! If you need some space, just say WOULD YOU KIDS GO PLAY OUTSIDE?!  And they’re going to get a LOT of exercise outside:

And it is a “getaway” location all right; somebody left the back door open and now there’s a rooster in the kitchen.

This picture makes my head hurt.  We have a desert color motif here with the sand-colored chairs and the off-white wall.  We’ve got palm tree action on the seat cushions; the candlesticks are suggestive of palm trees but lack fronds, the picture frame has starfish, I can’t figure out what’s in the picture/shadowbox but it looks like an upside-down palm tree trapped behind some shelving, and the actual yard, also framed, shows a rather sprawling bush that needs cutting back.  At least it echoes the top of the palm tree, but all that green is clashing with the living room.

Getaway… tranquil and private… natural setting… Did somebody say grow house?  Many possibilities.

We hope you are enjoying Burbed’s BLACK FRIDAY DEALS, where we will go to great lengths to find you the absolutely positively least expensive house we can.  Yesterday’s house was a bit of a surprise, being not really a house and not really land for sale and not really the sort of place you’d want to impress your co-workers with.  So today, we’re off to the land of hot tubs and aging hippies with money: Marin County!  How much would you expect the last expensive house to be?

This find was a surprise.  I set my Redfin search for all the houses in Marin County under $200,000 and I found exactly… one.  This one.  And it was for a lot less than $200K, too.

7425 Sir Francis Drake Blvd, Lagunitas, CA 94938
$89,900

BEDS: 2
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 450
$/SQ. FT.: $200
LOT SIZE: 0.28 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Residential, Detached, Single Family
STYLE: Cottage
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Forest/Woods, Other
YEAR BUILT: 1920
COMMUNITY: San Geronimo Valley
COUNTY: Marin
MLS#: 21126482
SOURCE: BAREIS
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 54 days

Cozy two bedroom cottage nestled amongst the redwoods in beautiful West Marin, just minutes away from some of the best hiking & biking trails Marin has to offer. Private and secluded location, perfect retreat to get away and enjoy nature. Hardwood floors, updated kitchen and claw foot tub. Home is in need of repairs so bring your imagination and hammer!

I don’t think your imagination is necessary at all.  Just bring the (sledge) hammer.

Just because we’re looking at the best possible DEALS doesn’t mean we can’t look at homes all over the price map.  For example, when you hear about places with asking prices over a million and a half, you’re thinking they’ve got to be in the Real Bay Area.  But here on Burbed, we know that $1.5 million dollar homes can be found anywhere, because that’s what it means to have a Free Market!  You are Free to ask any price you choose for your house, and everyone else is Free to tell you what they think of your brilliant idea.

Thanks very much to Burbed reader Tracy for this find in the beautiful Berryessa bivouac.

15292 CAMELOT Dr, San Jose, CA 95132
$1,588,800

BEDS: 5
BATHS: 5.5
SQ. FT.: 4,787
$/SQ. FT.: $332
LOT SIZE: 1.21 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 2
YEAR BUILT: 1994
COMMUNITY: Berryessa
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81147474
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 13 days

BEAUTIFUL ESTATE IN BEST LOCATION IN NORTH SAN JOSE BERRYESSA HILLS * HOME HAS A LARGE LOT OVER 1.25 ACRES – FULLY LANDSCAPE WITH FULL SIZE TENNIS COURT HOLLYWOOD CIRCULAR DRIVEWAY * PRIVATE GATE * HOME PACKED WITH BEAUTIFUL FEATURES FROM HARDWOOD FLOOR * ROMAN COLUMNS * MARBLE * LUXURIOUS BATHROOMS * CROWN MOLDING IMPRESSIVE STAIRCASE AND MUCH MORE

This house may not have a LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION in one of the Five Hundred Most Expensive Zip Codes, but it has something even better.  Dat’s right!  Mawbul Kawlums!

Too bad this house is on Camelot Drive.  With all these columns it really ought to be on Great Caesar’s Ghost Circle, or perhaps Cassius Clay Court.  Or maybe Camelot drive symbolizes the power of wishing prices.  But then you have to worry about Mordred plotting against you behind the FULL SIZE TENNIS COURT HOLLYWOOD CIRCULAR DRIVEWAY.

And if you are wondering about the agent’s interesting approach toward the English language, Tracy sent me the listing copy from when the home was on the market before.  (And it’s been listed three other times.  According to Zillow the previous listing was for $1,788,950.)

Welcome to this elegant custom-built mansion. The immense formal entry will open to a colossal foyer which embraces any large social gatherings. A Sierra Heights Estate with balconies that overlook the spectacular city light, mountain, and valley views. Many Elegant Upgrades throughout the floor plan reveals the premium value of this home. 4-CAR Garage and many GUESS PARKING SPACES.

I don’t know, how many parking spaces would that be?  Lucky eight?

Today’s find continues our pre-Thanksgiving run of prices on the higher side, in preparation for our upcoming Black Friday Sales.  Many thanks to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for this beauty in Belmont!

1824 HILLMAN Ave, Belmont, CA 94002
$1,678,500

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 3
SQ. FT.: 3,820
$/SQ. FT.: $439
LOT SIZE: 8,900 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Contemporary
STORIES: 2
VIEW: Bay, City Lights
YEAR BUILT: 1979
COMMUNITY: Belmont Country Club
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81140955
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 58 days

OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS to own this spectacular spacious one-owner executive home with stunning Bay and City views. The contemporary European design with generous functional living space provides for a relaxed and inviting ambiance. The upstairs features a living room with vaulted beam ceiling and stone fireplace, formal dining room, large kitchen with hardwood floors, ample storage and dining area.

A few years ago, I met some neighbor parents when one of my kids befriended their kids, and we got to talking about real estate.  The dad was going on and on about how ridiculous it was that all he could afford was a dinky little tract house.  “I am a Vice President!  I should be living in an Executive Home!  Not here!”

Now I never asked him what he meant by “Executive Home.”  He probably meant a big, new house, on a big lot close to a golf course.  He sure didn’t mean his late-50s rancher with second story addition, on a lot closer to a fifth than a quarter acre.

I wonder if today’s house would have been acceptable to him, or if it’s still too close to the (gasp) worker bees.  Anyway, the guy and his family soon moved back to San Diego (where he could buy himself an Executive Home on a golf course, but then again, by 2003 so could almost anyone else).  I wonder what he thinks of Occupy San Diego?

Weren’t executives, at least back in the good old days, famous for having three-martini lunches?  Well, the bar’s all ready in this house!  Now, which is worse, the carpet or the wallpaper?

We have plenty more photos after the break!

(more…)

This San Francisco house was briefly mentioned in the zip code series this past weekend, and really deserves an appearance of its own.  It’s not just a really expensive house in San Francisco, it looks like it comes with a huge number of challenges opportunities waiting to happen!

2250 Vallejo St, San Francisco, CA 94123
$7,950,000

BEDS: 0
BATHS: 12
SQ. FT.: -
LOT SIZE: -
PROPERTY TYPE: Single-Family Home
VIEW: Panoramic, Bay, Golden Gate Bridge
YEAR BUILT: 1902
COMMUNITY: Pacific Heights
COUNTY: San Francisco
MLS#: 390207
SOURCE: San Francisco MLS
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 50 days

Large, Italianate view mansion. Four floors of occupancy. Formerly occupied as 11 units and presently vacant. Conditional Use Authorization obtained in 2009 to merge 11 units to 2 units (home with apartment). Although most original details remain, the home requires extensive remodelling in order to enjoy the 2013 America’s Cup.

This looks like a house that needs an in-person visit, what with the MLS not specifying how large the house or the lot is, or showing very many pictures either.  When there are more snaps of the view than the house, you know it isn’t going to be “turnkey.”  Instead, get your work gloves ready, because you’ll be spending the next year and a half fixing up this place in order to enjoy the 2013 America’s Cup.

Wouldn’t it just be easier to watch it on television?

Anyway, the public records say the home is 7335 square feet on a 6187 sf lot.  No bedrooms but 12 bathrooms, formerly 11 units rented out.  Given how tight the rental market is in SF, how do you think the tenants were cleared out?  Arson?  Blackmail?  Cockroaches?  Dynamite?

Here’s a couple comments on this home from Socketsite, back in 2009 when another Pacific Heights home that had been chopped into apartments failed to sell and was withdrawn from the market.

Posted by: Jake at March 27, 2009 2:51 PM

This would have been a great house if left alone.
The problem is that there was a period from the
thirties to the fifties when large houses were treated as white elephants. Many of them have been returned to their architecturally natural use.

Including… I am pleased to report, the James Francis Dunn mansion on Vallejo, for which the Planning Commission, in a moment of unusual enlightenment, approved, Thursday, a “dwelling unit merger” of eleven to two units!

Hooray for common sense! Commissioner Borden observed that the purpose of denying mergers was to preserve affordable housing, and apartments on this street would not be affordable by any measure.
The building is owned by the Rossi family, who as they noted, contributed a Mayor to SF.

Posted by: Conifer at March 28, 2009 11:02 PM

Holy Crap! I can’t believe that unit merger went through! I thought it would be DOA so I never bothered to check the commission’s decision. It was absolutely the right decision. 2250 is arguably THE most beautiful home on Vallejo St and should never have been chopped up.

James Francis Dunn is not the owner but the architect of this house, and he designed a number of “French Renaissance” apartment buildings throughout San Francisco.  This book on Pacific Heights homes states that building an actual house was a departure for Dunn, and features this nice line drawing above.

The SF Chronicle article on Dunn’s designs describes this house in a footnote: “2250 Vallejo St., in Pacific Heights, originally a single-family house, is a playful take on Italian Renaissance with beautiful proportions and detailing.”

That’s a lot of Frenchified talk for what’s really important.  KAWLUMS!  And finding an agent who can’t spell remodeling but can walk you through an eight million dollar transaction.  Best of all, this “architectural pastry” has the icing on its street name: associated with a large, prolonged bankruptcy.

Thanks very much to Burbed reader Swan for this find!  It’s great to know that nobody’s going to stiff Sunnyvale for bragging rights to the most expensive residence in the entire country, so take that Yuri Milner!

104 BRISBANE Ter, Sunnyvale, CA 94086
$652,000,000

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2.5
SQ. FT.: 1,777
$/SQ. FT.: $366,911
LOT SIZE: 4,489 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Attached Single Family
STORIES: 2
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1988
COMMUNITY: Sunnyvale
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81148138
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 1 day
NEW LISTING (24 HOURS)

Beautifully remodeled home that features high vaulted ceiling, new flooring throughout, granite countertops and dual sinks in both bathrooms, 2 fireplaces, gated community. Must see. Home is located close to downtown Sunnyvale(shopping), and Cal Trains. Centrally located, 10 minutes to Google , 7 minutes to Apple Co. Be in your dream home before Christmas!!

Here’s what Swan had to say when sending this beautifully remodeled home in:

Here’s a townhome in Sunnyvale (not even Cupertino schools) for $652,000,000!  Talk about a typo (hopefully).  Someone needs to go back to elementary school and learn some place value.

10 min. to Google and 7 min. to Apple.  I think I see a price reduction in the near future!

Just because Trulia has this property designated as Off-Market, formerly listed for $670K, don’t be so sure this is a typo.  Look at all you get with this house:

Not only beautifully remodeled, the agent spelled “remodeled” correctly.  You can’t ever count on that (see tomorrow’s listing for proof of that).

High vaulted ceiling: You know what that means?  Right.  Bank vault.  This house is selling for upwards of half a billion dollars because a former Washington Mutual VP was bringing too much high-value work home.

New flooring throughout: More places to hide money!  This house is going to be the best treasure hunt ever!

Granite countertops: Say no more!  Granite!  If you’re going to decorate like it’s 2006, you might as well pay like it’s 2006!

Dual sinks: This property will be have a water view twice as fast as a normal place would!

2 fireplaces: If you don’t make your money the old-fashioned way, you can BURN IT.

Gated community: You get a “clicker” to keep the riff-raff where they belong: in 99 percentville.

Close to downtown Sunnyvale(shopping): I’m glad they tell you what is in downtown Sunnyvale.  I thought it was for watching construction projects repeatedly fail.

and Cal Trains: Whoo-whoo!  I hope you like Cal Trains, because you’re going to hear every one of them!

Centrally located: Miles from a freeway no matter what direction you go.  Hope you like traffic lights!

10 minutes to Google: Are you sure? I was able to Google this property in about five seconds.

7 minutes to Apple Co: Siri, turn this traffic light green immediately.

Be in your dream home before Christmas!!  And save $8,150,000 with Redfin!  Wait, wait, I almost forgot… this house has a gold star!  Let’s see what the Redfin agent thought of it:

But does it have a shed-like structure?  Because if it doesn’t, I’m only offering $651,990,000.

Update: Price reduced to $652,000 at 9:13 am.  That’s a 99.9% cut, which is a perfect promo for our Black Friday Sales!

Today’s featured house and accompanying guest commentary is brought to you by Burbed reader AstroWallaby, profiling the always adventurous area of Alum Rock, San Jose!  This is a genuine go-to geographical golden goose for great Burbed goodness.

Want to see your name in lights (okay, in bold) like this?  Send in your listing wins, with (or without) your added valuable observations.  Operators are standing by!

And now, please give AstroWallaby a big, warm Real Bay Area welcome!

134 N WHITE Rd, San Jose, CA 95127
$548,000

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 999
$/SQ. FT.: $549
LOT SIZE: 6,500 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1945
COMMUNITY: Alum Rock
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81129919
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 126 days

Large Lot with workshop in the back. Tile counters in Kitchen, Pergo Flooring. Fireplace in living room. Side yard access rear. Spacious Detached garage building. ~2,000 sq ft Side lawn, Fenced and Separate from the front house. Best offer will be considered.

Speaking of dreck, here’s another "optimistic" entry from East San Jose that might be worth a laugh, if you haven’t seen it yet.

The listing at least avoids ALL CAPS, although isn’t saying " Best offer will be considered" sort of redundant when selling a house? Clearly the realtor was impressed by the interior, judging by the two magnificent Quickcam-resolution interior shots they’ve included. It’s sort of disappointing that you can’t actually tell what it trying to escape from that cabinet drawer in the kitchen, but whatever it is I hope it succeeds. As for the fireplace… I’m not sure a provocative fandance really works to increase the sex appeal of inanimate objects but I’ll give it bonus points for trying.

The shot of the empty (down to the bare dirt) backyard is interesting. It *could* be an avant-garde artistic use of negative space, but I suspect it’s more likely a counterpoint to the satellite photo which shows no fewer than nine vehicles haphazardly arranged around the property. Nothing like the Pride of Ownership which comes along with owning your own former dirt parking lot. You might even qualify for Superfund money to pay for your landscaping!

And the suggested retail price for this V-J Day-vintage 999 square foot slice of heaven/White Road? A mere $548,000. Sure, it’s a good $200k higher than any reasonable comparable but that’s a small price to pay for a fireplace with a spot-on Sally Rand impersonation.

Here’s a great find from Burbed reader and occasional Guest Editor sonarrat!  Many thanks for this listing in Google’s backyard!

 

1988 PLYMOUTH St, Mountain View, CA 94043
$935,000

BEDS: 2
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 640
$/SQ. FT.: $1,461
LOT SIZE: 0.4 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1935
COMMUNITY: Rengstorff
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81127711
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 98 days

Great opportunity in Mountain View. Blocks from Google and in the path of progress. This is an older two bed one bath home on a huge lot, perfect for a family who wants property or for a developer. New construction coming two parcels away.

Here’s what sonarrat had to say about this house:

We have a new Burbed classic in the making. This one’s in the path of progress! Why, you ask? They’re building a stairway to Google!

That’s even better than an overplayed Led Zeppelin hit, because it won’t hurt your ears and it costs nothing to look.

In the path of progress, indeed! But doesn’t that mean it’s going to be condemned under eminent domain?

At least it has electricity!

Now, check out the neighborhood.  I’m not sure which parcel has the new construction coming, but there sure seems to be a number of multifamily units quite nearby. You’ll have so many more neighbors to socialize with, or at least so many more cars blocking your driveway.

Actually I think I might have found it, at least I found a bulldozer.

It sure would be a shame to lose that terrific vehicle collection.  Maybe they could put them in that nice parking lot next door.

But this house has something even better going for it than the bridge they’re building to Google.  Look what you have in easy walking distance.

Yes, if you ever get tired of this house, just remember, you could be living here!