September 6, 2013

East San Jose Mawbul Kawlums! This house sits on a lot of square feet

Okay, East San Jose hills, but still! Oh my gawd who lives here, the POPE?  Thanks very much to Burbed reader TL in San Jose for sending in this feature that indicates what makes a joint classy. KAWLUMS!  Put some in your bedroom!

130905-chaboya-redfin4227 CHABOYA Ct
San Jose, CA 95148
$2,988,000

7 Beds
6.5 Baths
8,314 Sq. Ft.
$359 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1989
Lot Size: 3.40 Acres
On Redfin: 14 days
Status: Active


130905-chaboya-kawlums1

130905-chaboya-kawlums2Not only this mansion teeming with MAWBUL KAWLUMS, the listing isn’t full of much of anything. We didn’t forget the description; there isn’t any. Also missing are basic entry items such as the County, the house style, and how many stories in the building. But this agent doesn’t have any stories to tell. Instead, we’ll let the photos do all the talking.

We did find this description on MLSListings:

130905-chaboya-kawlums3*BREATHTAKING UNSURPASSED VIEWS OF SF BAY AREA, SILICON VALLEY, AND THE BEST SUNSETS IN THE AREA* 7 BEDROOMS* 6.5 BATHS*2 MASTER SUITES* 2 KITCHENS W/ S.S. APPLIANCES* EXTRA LARGE BUILT IN FRIDGE* GRANITE SLAB COUNTERS HUGE ENTERTAINMENT/BONUS AREA* UNPARALLELED CUSTOM FINISHES THROUGHOUT *HIGH CEILINGS* MARBLE FLOORS* DRAMATIC STAIRCASE* BASKETBALL CT* VINEYARD * SOLAR POOL* EXCELLENT SCHOOLS*

130905-chaboya-kawlums4Best of all, it links to a virtual tour with, we shit you not, 80 pictures.  Because the 25 on Redfin are obviously not enough. Also not enough are the missing description in Redfin and the ALL-CAPS one above. So we are delighted to share the one from the virtual tour as well, because it demonstrates the care and consideration taken with selling a three million dollar house.

130905-chaboya-description

It certainly does. 148,104 sure is a lot.

130905-chaboya-kawlums5130905-chaboya-kawlums6

Comments (8) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:02 am






September 5, 2013

Redwood City pink house in Shire, Buyer to varify

Our site founder has this thing for pink houses, so we’re really delighted to find this gem.  There’s so much to love about it, we’d consider this house for the front page even without the awesome paint job.  Best of all, you could buy this one for cash.  In fact, you may well have to.

130904-devonshire-redfin2841 DEVONSHIRE Ave
Redwood City, CA 94063
$275,000

2 Beds
1 Baths
900 Sq. Ft.
$306 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1948
Lot Size: 3,990 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 57 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
County: San Mateo
Style: Cottage/Bungalow
Community: Dumbarton
MLS#: 81324754

Fixer upper. Buyer to varify with Redwood City Planning dept. due to lot size. No contingency. 10% cashier check payable to ‘San Mateo County Public Guardian’. The condition of this property may require an all cash buyer or a rehab loan, ask your lender. Court confirmation on 9/10/2013 at 9 AM at Dept. 28, 400 County Center, RWC CA 94063.

If a picture is worth a thousand words, this house is a New Yorker essay.  Ask your lender.

130904-devonshire-living130904-devonshire-windowsimage130904-devonshire-door

Comments (2) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:03 am

August 30, 2013

Watch the hawks soar with Portola Valley potential

There are many ways for a house to show Burbed win. One is for it to be completely overpriced, and the other is for it to be an utter crapbox.  Which kind do you like better? Can’t decide? Today’s house is BOTH!

130829-westridge-redfin207 WESTRIDGE Dr
Portola Valley, CA 94028
$2,998,000

4 Beds
2.5 Baths
2,770 Sq. Ft.
$1,082 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1952
Lot Size: 3.05 Acres
On Redfin: 5 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 2
Community: Central Portola Valley
MLS#: 81331429
Style: Contemporary
View: Green Belt, Mountains, Canyon
County: San Mateo

130829-westridge-flagstoneOver 3 acres with spectacular southern exposure, views toward Monte Bello Ridge. Watch the hawks soar! Architect designed with Frank Lloyd Wright’s "Falling Water" in mind, this mid-century contemporary is ready for extensive remodel or build new. Owned by one family since 1953. Wonderful privacy. Two guest cottages. Much deferred maintenance; 3-stall barn w/ hayloft in disrepair. Potential!


130829-westridge-poleDesigned with “Falling Water” in mind? We guess we could say our mid-century modern shack was designed with Monticello in mind… and yet it was a suburban tract house in fact.  Only ours has fewer paper cranes.

This house also reminds us of the one yesterday: way more pictures outside than in, and no bedrooms snapped at all. Wonder why not? Maybe by deferred maintenance they really mean the owners haven’t gotten out of bed since 1953.

Comments (4) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:02 am

August 29, 2013

Move-in, remodel or tear down and start over in Orinda

Sometimes our readers forget that we are a Northern California real estate blog, not just Silicon Valley. We realize with so little of the Real Bay Area outside Where Innovation Happens it’s easy to forget this. However, Burbed Win can be found almost anywhere. Today’s featured funhouse from Burbed reader edie takes us to the wild and uncivilized jungle of Orinda! (That’s in CoCoCo, in case you haven’t gone anywhere but Google via Google Bus in the last two years.)  But one thing this place has in common with so many other Burbed properties: Pending!

130828-linda-redfin6 LINDA Vis
Orinda, CA 94563
$499,000

2 Beds
2 Baths
1,219 Sq. Ft.
$409 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1939
Lot Size: 0.29 Acres
On Redfin: 21 days
Status: Pending
Type: Detached
Stories: 2
Community: Country Club
MLS#: 40626723
Style: Cottage
View: Hills, Wooded
County: Contra Costa

This charming cottage is on a great oak-studded . 28 acre lot in the Orinda Country Club area. It’s an idyllic setting! The house is a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom, 1200+ sf in two stories with a 2 car detached garage. Ready to move-in, remodel or tear down and start over.

130828-linda-kitchenHere’s why edie thought you’d want to venture out of your comfort zone and look at this place:

Check out the price history. The place went up by 200K in a year when it clearly hasn’t been touched in that time. (Unless "creepy backwoods cabin" is the new aesthetic among flippers.

Though pathetically, after going to yesterday’s open houses in the East Bay, this place doesn’t seem so bad to me. 

130828-linda-garageWe always wonder about listings where there are 3 times as many outside as inside pix, and it’s not like the outside shots are showing different parts of the grounds. We can only assume that the current owner has some secret Web 6.0 Electric Motor SuperDuperHyperUltraLoop High Speed mass transit project in those bedrooms that Cannot Be Photographed Upon Pain of Death or initialing every one of the 400 pages in the NDA.

Or, this being Orinda rather than Saratoga, it’s more likely a bunch of dead primates.

Comments (3) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:03 am

August 20, 2013

PEACEFUL MBRM IN MTVW

We’ve got a really hot Mountain View property for you today from Burbed reader LomaLuvr. Feel the burn as you tour this one virtually.  Whoops, too late! SOLD!

130819-yorkton-redfin2676 YORKTON Dr
Mountain View, CA 94040
Sold for $1,565,000

4 Beds
3 Baths
1,975 Sq. Ft.
$792 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1965
Lot Size: 8,000 Sq. Ft.
Sold On: Aug 16, 2013
Status: Sold
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
County: Santa Clara
Style: Ranch
Community: Grant
MLS#: 81324377

WAVERLY PARK SINGLE STORY * NEW INT/EXT PAINT, NEW PLUSH CARPET/PAD * SPACIOUS KITCHEN, ISLAND, BREAKFAST BAR & NOOK, NEW LINO * FORMAL DINING RM, STEP DOWN LIVING RM, SEP FAMILY RM, CEILING FAN, FP W/ INSERT * PEACEFUL MBRM, SLIDER TO BACKYARD, CEDAR LINED CLOSETS * INS LAUNDRY, GAS & 220V HOOKUPS * NEWER WATER HEATER * OVERSIZED LOT, AGGREGATE PATIO, WELL MANICURED, SHED W/ NEWER ROOF * WALK TO COOPER PARK!TOP NOTCH SCHOOLS!

Great real estate photography means plenty of overbidding! This delightful home went for an extra $115K and we’re positive these radiant pictures helped. And you know when we say radiant we really mean radioactive.  Let’s have a look around.

130819-yorkton-greenery130819-yorkton-kitchen130819-yorkton-family130819-yorkton-bath

So far, so good! And doesn’t every bathroom need a prominently featured puffer fish on the vanity?  Pro Tip: When photographing a room in HDR, wait for the fan to stop spinning.

130819-yorkton-view

This bedroom converted to an office not only shows an intriguing attempt at décor, delightfully framed by the original window and view to match.

130819-yorkton-decor130819-yorkton-guest-towels

There’s so much you can do with fabric choices to liven up a room! Looks like whoever staged this bathroom embraced the concept of More is More.  Bunus: Empty toilet roll!

130819-yorkton-yard130819-yorkton-loom

Don’t forget the back yard! The generous grounds guarantee lots of space… for you to cook all summer, because there isn’t a shred of lawn anywhere. Plus the house next door has a great view of everything you’ll be up to.

We’re still trying to figure out which part of the yard is WELL MANICURED, the AGGREGATE PATIO or the SHED W/NEWER ROOF.  NEWER than what, the 1965 house?

Comments (6) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:01 am

August 19, 2013

Ginormous SJ house generates HEAVY AMOUNT OF PHONE CALLS

Tired of the poorly photographed crapboxen that are Burbed bread and butter? Today’s house is for you, if you can find it.This property is brought to you by Burbed reader wahnny. Thanks very much!

130818-calero-redfin21680 CALERO CREEK Ct
San Jose, CA 95120
$999,888

5 Beds
7 Baths
7,533 Sq. Ft.
$133 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2002
Lot Size: 3.10 Acres
On Redfin: 17 days
Status: Pending With Release
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 2
County: Santa Clara
Style: Traditional, Mediterranean
Community: Almaden Valley
MLS#: 81328031

Last "Open House Monday 8/12 this evening from 5-7:30pm. ELEGANT PALATIAL ESTATE, SITUATED ON 3.10 FLAT ACRES. THIS LUXURY CUSTOM HOME IS 10 YEARS YOUNG & BUILT W/ THE FINEST IMPORTED MATERIALS FROM AROUND THE WORLD. DUE TO HEAVY AMOUNT OF PHONE CALLS WE HAVE "FAQ WORD DOC" @ UR REQUEST W/ FULL DISCLOSURE LINK & HOME INSPECTIONS. VIRTUAL TOUR HAS 2 TOURS & BROKER TOUR VIDEO FROM 8/7/2013 ENJOY

130818-calero-theaterHere’s why wahnny sent in this particular place:

Just came across this quite georgious estate.

Asking price is WAY less than its assessed value.  Lotsa cauwlums and ornate finishings adorn the "10 YEARS YOUNG" 7500+sqft estate on 3+acres.  Aside from overhead powerlines, rather small pool, and location on the fringes of the RBA, it might still incite a bidding war, as per AGENT INTENT.

130818-calero-kawlumFringes of the Real Bay Area? Wahnny, this place isn’t even on the fringes of the Corridor of Not Quite. This house is firmly situated somewhere south of You Have Got To Be Kidding Me. The only advantage it has is that it’s only 22 miles to the Tesla Supercharging station in Gilroy.  And if you can buy a house this size for the price of a gingerbread shack in San Bruno, of course you should expect some mawbul kawlums thrown in.

130818-calero-thronePlus there is a virtual tour.  And a good thing there is, or we would never know that every office needs a throne.

As to that AGENT INTENT, here’s what the FAQ in the disclosures packet has to say about that asking price:

8. Why list so low?
Sellers are aware that neither appraisers, nor realtors determine what the VALUE or the final sales price of a home will be, it’s the BUYERS that determine the final price thus the new market value of the home.  They wanted to market and list their home non-traditional and something innovative that would attract plenty of interest and one good offer that had the best price and terms.

130818-calero-officeWait a minute, since when is announcing a day for offers to come in and picking the highest one considered “non-traditional”?  In the RBA this is de rigeur!

Bunus: Not only does this property have a “well lien” because of the 3 abandoned wells onsite (seller can’t find two of them), there’s also an HOA for shared roads with voting rights based on property size. This home has an effective veto over the other properties because any vote must pass by 75%.  So you could really make life interesting for four other homeowners!

ENJOY

Comments (3) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:06 am

August 16, 2013

Weekend Retreat Property at Undisclosed Address

And it’s Friday again! Let’s wrap up the workweek with another vacation/weekend/check-out-of-the-rat-race property far from the clogged freeways and three Starbucks per business district. Thanks very much to Burbed reader Tom Paine for sending in this relaxing retreat so private, the realtard doesn’t want you to know where it is.

130815-templeman-redfinUndisclosed Address
Forestville, CA 95436
$630,000

4 Beds
3 Baths
2,500 Sq. Ft.
$252 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1956
Lot Size: 1 Acre
On Redfin: 84 days
Property Type: Residential, Detached, Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Russian River
MLS#: 21311796
Style: Ranch
View: Pasture, Other
County:
Sonoma

Great area! 1 acre parcel, Extensive work has been performed in upgrading this ranch style country home which includes Chinese oak flooring in living room & formal dining area, paver tile floors in kitchen & main bath, radiant heat, jetted tub, game room, separated extended living areas at rear of home(great for in-laws, caregivers, guests, etc. ) attached shop & garage, circular drive, outbuildings, metal roof and room for everyone & everything

130815-templeman-hottub-guestOh heck, we’ll disclose it: 8426 Templeman Road.  And what’s with this Chinese Oak flooring? Is that anything like Chinese drywall? Similarly, pavers in the kitchen? Is this a thing, like metal roofs?

Now let’s hear from Tom.

What could be more charming than a picture of a sleeping pig next to the hot tub? You need never bathe alone…

This is a Russian River resort (if by Russian River resort, we actually mean a place that’s more than 2 miles from the closest approach of the Russian River). Just wait for the river to crest and you need never skip bathing.  And by “you” we mean both you and the pig.

Comments (1) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:10 am

August 14, 2013

Vintage property on Park Avenue, shown by appointmnet only

Sure, Park Avenue is a destination address in The Big Apple. Today’s house, however, is located in a different Big City, namely Wait, That’s A Top Ten City? or as it’s also known, Bigger Than San Francisco? RU SRS?  Being serious, can you name one major company headquartered in San Jose? Neither can we, and we already mentioned a big one named Apple that’s over in Cupertino.  Okay, Adobe, but that’s ONE. There probably aren’t any more.

Meanwhile, we’ve got a Park Avenue property from Burbed reader Swan for you today. Hope you enjoy it as much as we did.  (That is if by “enjoy” we really meant “avoid.”)

130813-park-redfin1083 PARK Ave
San Jose, CA 95126
$599,000

3 Beds
1.5 Baths
1,492 Sq. Ft.
$401 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1925
Lot Size: 6,560 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 97 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Community: Central San Jose
MLS#: 81315666
Stories: 1
County: Santa Clara

Single family home with additional rooms attached to garage. Showing by appointmnet only.

130813-park-fromstreetHere’s Swan’s song:

Saving the best for last, I give you 1083 Park Ave., San Jose. This listing is full of Burbed Win!  First, five beautiful, out of focus pictures of the front of the house. 

Second, there are some fuzzy photos of the interior.  These pictures start off showing what seems to be pretty decent living and dining areas.  Is that a glass of beer on the dining table?  If so, it goes with the beer ad on the TV! 

130813-park-tv130813-park-dining

130813-park-kitchenThe kitchen, other than the post near the refrigerator, isn’t bad either.   In pictures #12 and #13 we are given a slow introduction as to what is to come.  Have you ever watched "Hoarders?"  Well, pictures 14 and 15 could be right out of an episode!

Before you call the cleanup crew, look at pictures 16 and 17.  Apparently only the storage area is a mess because the bathroom and laundry area aren’t too bad.  Notice the toilet seat is up in the bathroom!  Also, does the random arm in #17 count as a Dude Hanging Out? 

130813-park-another-fine-mess130813-park-neat130813-park-bath130813-park-partial-dho

We aren’t done yet!  Check out Streetview for a bunus!! Porta-potty next door!

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That’s an even better bunus than a trash bin! Plus… Holy Jughandle, Batman, is that a sound wall? No! It isn’t!

130813-park-laundromat

Wow, this is exciting! Whatever are they building next door? A liquor store? An adult movie emporium? So many exciting possibilities for making new friends!

Comments (7) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:08 am

August 13, 2013

Custom kitchen backslash, must see!

Mountain View is the city that keeps on giving… Burbed win.  Today we’ve got an awesome townhouse that not only has some amazingly creative listing copy, it also transcends space and time. Perhaps this is an early test of Google Residence.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Michael Boltonestater for this awesome attached area!

130812-middlefield-redfin2615 W Middlefield Rd
Mountain View, CA 94043
$850,888

HOA Dues: $255/mo.
2 Beds
2.5 Baths
855,888 Sq. Ft.
$1 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2013
Lot Size: 1,234 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 4 days
Status: Active

HOA Dues: $255/month
Style: Traditional
View: Mountains
County: Santa Clara
Property Type: Attached Single Family
Stories: 3
Community: Thompson
MLS#: 81329022

130812-middlefield-livingStunning 2 bedroom 2.5 bath new Townhome. A corner unit home with views of the mountains and surrounding tree lines . This home was used as a Model Home from June 15th to todays date . Upgraded carpets, finished two car garage with a custom kitchen backslash, make this home a must see ! Los Altos High School. ( lot #11) on Builders site map.

Upcoming Open Houses

Saturday, Aug 24: Open House – 1:00-4:00 pm
Sunday, Aug 25: Open House – 1:00-4:00 pm
Saturday, Sep 7: Open House – 1:00-4:00 pm

130812-middlefield-stairsThis delightful abode, new construction yet, has been listed for an entire four days (five by the time you read this), and nobody’s plopped down a suitcase full of cash? How can this be when it’s only a dollar a square foot? More importantly, how can they fit 855,888 square feet onto that tiny lot? We’re not sure of the latest rulings out of the Mountain View Planning Department, but we suspect a Floor Area Ration (FAR) of 693.6 might be an eensie bit over the limit for this neighborhood.

The listing copy doesn’t admit it, but the last photo does; this townhouse is part of Classics at Fairview Park. And we’ve found the place on their site map.

130812-middlefield-fairview

We were hoping it would be Unit 1, because that block of buildings spells ASSSSSS. Unfortunately, #1’s a 3 BR/3.5 BA, so this townhouse is instead Unit 11, in SMMMA block. This is a terrific location, because nobody will be able to enter or exit this complex without driving right by your home.  Be sure to remind each and every one of them that this place was used as a Model Home from June 15th to todays date .

You’ll get all the benefits of end unit (traffic noise on two sides!), plus you’ll still have two different neighbors through your walls! Win-Win!

Comments (6) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:07 am

August 9, 2013

Gingerbread house in beautiful San Bruno: Most unique must see

It’s Friday! Let’s finish up the week with an awesome property from that always hot market on the Peninsula, San Bruno! In fact this place is so on fire that nobody can get near it, and hasn’t for almost a year! Thanks very much to Burbed reader Facebooksux for today’s featured façade.

130808-jenevein-redfin792 JENEVEIN Ave
San Bruno, CA 94066
$989,000

3 Beds
2 Baths
2,960 Sq. Ft.
$334 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1937
Lot Size: 5,000 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 350 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
View: Neighborhood
County: San Mateo
Stories: 1
Community: Huntington Park
MLS#: 81231724

The exterior may look like a gingerbread house with the white picket fence and shutter trim on the outside windows, the front door opens to a most unique home. Everything is custom, a must see home. Huge master bedroom suite with high ceilings and and private spa bathroom. Formal dining room, family room, TV room with wet bar. Eat in kitchen with walk in pantry/laundry area. So much more to see.

130808-jenevein-livingThe front page may look like a well-presented property, but there’s that datestamp in the lower right corner. Pro Tip: Unless you want your buyers to think you shot your listing photos with a disposable camera and dropped them off at Rite-Aid, turn off the danged stamps.

Let’s listen to Facebooksux’s nominating speech.

ALMOST A MILLION BERNANKE BUX FOR SAN BRUNO????!!!!

130808-jenevein-death-by-pillowHopefully there aren’t any leaky gas pipelines beneath the home.

Please use Facebooksux as my name instead of my real name and keep up the good work!!

You mean don’t mention that your real name is – ha ha, gotcha! Kind of like how this house will getcha too.  We are positive these pillows are up to no good.

But even if they can be trusted, there are many dangerous plants that are lying in wait for you. Be very afraid.

130808-jenevein-kitchen130808-jenevein-dining130808-jenevein-purple130808-jenevein-bath

This home has been decorated with such care, it must have been just as thoughtfully situated in its neighborhood, right? Here’s the delightful view from the front door.

130808-jenevein-streetview

So much more to see!

Comments (5) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:08 am