Thanks very much to Burbed reader Tuxxi for this find, adjacent to the “Holy crap, this place is full of armored personnel carriers with SWAT teams carrying assault rifles” neighborhood in Sunnyvale (formerly known as Birdland Neighbors).  Or is that Occupy Sunnyvale?

 

952 MARION Way, Sunnyvale, CA 94087
$1,549,000

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 3.5
SQ. FT.: 3,600
$/SQ. FT.: $430
LOT SIZE: 9,424 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 2
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 2011
COMMUNITY: Sunnyvale
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81139592
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 27 days

Gorgeous Custom Built Home * Formal Living & Dining Area, High Ceiling, Gas Fireplace * Gourmet Kitchen w. Cherry Cabinets, Granite Counters, Large Island, Family Room * Office w. French Doors * Master Suite w. Jacuzzi Tub, Double Vanity, Walk In Closet * “Jack & Jill” Bedrooms & Den Upstairs * One Bed/Bath Downstairs * Cherry Hardwood Flrs * Crown Molding * Coffer Ceilings * Milgard Windows * Beautiful Attention to Detail!

There are two reasons Tuxxi sent this in to Burbed.  First, the neighborhood.  Serf hut next door, check!

Beautiful view across the street, check!

I even attempted a drive-by to find some reported appliances on a front lawn, but didn’t have any luck with that.  I did, however, find this “Persian Palace” a block away.

And by Persian Palace, I’m not saying the owners are from Iran; the term has come to mean an overdone (for the neighborhood) new home with unrelated design elements, the more, the “better.”  While this place doesn’t have mawbul kawlums, it was the fountain and the lions that made me notice it, and I don’t mean “notice” in a good way.  This is Beverly Hills flats wanna-be in a really hinky part of Sunnyvale.  Think Rancho Rinconada, but with lousier schools.

In fact, the entire neighborhood is a complete mishmash of construction projects, McMansions, crapboxes, and “pride of ownership” fifties ranchers, so in some bizarre way the above house isn’t as awful as it could be.

But back to the featured house.  Tuxxi collected the flyer and it’s the second reason this place is on the front page today.

Take a good look at the tagline for this place:

That attention to detail will is what you’re paying 6% of $1.5 million for.  Meanwhile, I’m wondering, a mil and a half for SUNNYVALE?  A mil and a half for SUNNYVALE with SANTA CLARA SCHOOLS?  A mil and a half for Sunnyvale with Santa Clara schools and NO SIDEWALKS?  A mil and a half for Sunnyvale with Santa Clara schools with no sidewalks OR CURBS?

I cannot wait to meet the buyer who thinks this is a DEAL, because I plan on doing a lot of business with whoever that is.  I don’t even know what kind of business, I just know it’s going to be very profitable for one of us.

Thanks very much to Burbed reader sprezzatura for this San Mateo short sale.  Not only will it be selling shortly, but also often!

 

369 N CLAREMONT St #2, San Mateo, CA 94401
$279,000

BEDS: 2
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,237
$/SQ. FT.: $226
LOT SIZE: -
PROPERTY TYPE: Townhouse
YEAR BUILT: 1991
COMMUNITY: Eastern Addition/Downtown Area
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 80939018
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Pending With Release
ON REDFIN: 781 days

Price right for a fast sale, ready to move in with great financing available including FHA or 100% financing. Closed to Shopping, schools and transportation.

Here’s what sprezzatura had to say about this, um, piece of property:

This San Mateo short sale has gone pending 4 times and still never sold! Always a bridesmaid, poor condo.

The realtor has thoughtfully included photos of both bathrooms and what I assume is the living room, but nothing else. I suppose since the seller will be taking close to a 50% haircut since buying at top of the market, the realtor thought only photographing half the house was appropriate.

I think for only $279,000 we should be delighted to see three photos of the interior.  Yesterday we had a place for almost ten times as much with just a crappy shot of the outside.  It was pending, too.  That’s two quick pending in two days.  And 100% financing?  I tell you, the Bay Area real estate market is BACK!

Thanks very much to Burbed reader nomadic for this rather intriguing high-price, low-photo listing in Los Gatos!

 

14880 LAS FLORES Ln, Los Gatos, CA 95032
$2,200,000

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 4
SQ. FT.: 4,428
$/SQ. FT.: $497
LOT SIZE: 1 Acre
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Mediterranean
STORIES: 2
VIEW: Mountains, Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 2003
COMMUNITY: Los Gatos/Monte Sereno
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81141712
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Pending With Release
ON REDFIN: 4 days

country location four bedrooms and four baths three car garage huge yard great for family and kids

Here’s why nomadic thought you’d like to see this house:

• Weird history
• $3.4M in loans
• Short sale listed at $2.2M
• Last “sold” in 2010 for $600k

Let’s have a look at that history.

What? No previous foreclosures?  No “not an arms-length transaction”? The seller isn’t a licensed real estate agent?  It wasn’t sold in 2006 for twice the asking price?  The Zillow history makes the above look a little stranger.  Note the July, 2010 sale.

And $3.4 million in loans on the house sounds like something straight from Irvine Housing Blog.  But here’s something you won’t see on IHB:

Yes, that’s this house in Google Streetview plus Burbed KawlumVision.  No wonder the place went pending in only 4 days.  I’m sure the bank will rush that offer right on through.

Thanks very much to Burbed reader Overheard in San Carlos for this find nowhere near San Carlos.  Even though this was sent in a couple of months ago, it’s still on the market.  If you read Saturday’s piece on Astonishing Homes, that fact won’t astonish you in the least.

If you’re asking yourself why it took a couple of months to run this listing, then you’ll realize there are many great submissions to choose from.  At some point we many need to start running houses on weekends, which would be a terrible shame.  That would mean no more zip code articles, ever again, and they were such a reader favorite!

So, on to today’s featured home in Los Altos Hills!

 

11580 OLD RANCH Rd, Los Altos Hills, CA 94024
$6,850,000

 

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 5
SQ. FT.: 7,825
$/SQ. FT.: $875
LOT SIZE: 1 Acre
PROPERTY TYPE: Attached Single Family
STYLE: Contemporary
STORIES: 2
VIEW: Green Belt, Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 2010
COMMUNITY: Los Altos Hills
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81134148
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 79 days

Serenity, Privacy, Seclusion. This Komo Construction Contemporary masterpiece provides an incredibly spacious floor plan of approx. 7,825 sq. ft. plus approx. 1024 sq. ft. bonus room, up to 25 ft. soaring ceilings. The lush resort style backyard, complete with infinity pool and relaxing spa, is perfect for entertaining and quiet enjoyment.

Masterpiece, spacious floor plan, soaring ceilings, lush resort, perfect for entertaining, quiet enjoyment. That’s about five too many real estate clichés for one listing, and we haven’t even gotten to the title they’ve given the virtual tour: “A Tour de Force of Contemporary Design.”

I hope you know what “Contemporary Design” means.  That’s right.  NO MAWBUL KAWLUMS.  It also means “This place is perfect for Unhappy Hipsters captions.”  Here’s a couple of my suggestions.

The captive dwarf cypress glared at the locked cell door while the bench covers continued their mockery.

The fern reported every door barred on the second floor, while the electrified fence prevented a leap to the possibility of freedom below.

Many more pictures await you, so have at it!  Meanwhile, watch the seller try to explain the asking price with that ZEstimate of $2.4 million.  Then it’s a Tour de Twoce.

It’s just about time for another Real Bay Area weekend!  So let’s go to San Francisco for our last house of the workweek, courtesy of Burbed reader Bubbie Byer!

 

338 Noriega St, San Francisco, CA 94122
$829,000

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,900
$/SQ. FT.: $436
LOT SIZE: –
PROPERTY TYPE: Single-Family Home
STYLE: Marina
VIEW: Partial, City Lights, Bay
YEAR BUILT: 1936
COMMUNITY: Inner Sunset
COUNTY: San Francisco
MLS#: 389847
SOURCE: San Francisco MLS
STATUS: Pending
ON REDFIN: 13 days

Delightful Marina 3bd/2ba home offers elegance + comfort. Main level-Spacious living rm has fireplace. Elegant Formal Dining rm, modern eat-in kitchen, 2 br + 1ba w/ skylite. Sliding door from 1br to deck/garden. The deck has partial City + Bay views w/ a level, grassy garden. Lower level has a small bdrm, bathrm + an inviting family room. W/ D in garage.

Here’s what BB had to say about the house:

First, the Marina is a 40 minute drive from that house.

The Spacious living rm stuffed with couches that look made from the skins of stuffed animals makes the room smaller. Watch your step on the way to the yellow kitchen and to check out the plastic faux-vinyl shower curtains. What a bargain for up to $10K in staging fees. They even put a crappy shower curtain in the bathrm "with small bdrm + inviting family room W/D in garage." You mean like a garage conversion?

Recovering that 2003 equity just got harder as a result of "presentation."

Sold for $731,000 in 2003, and went pending in 2 weeks.  Admittedly when Bubbie sent it in, it was still listed for sale.

It did sell quickly for more money than in 2003, but in eight years, it should have almost doubled.  Therefore, we have confirmation that the Inner Sunset isn’t in the Real Bay Area.  Should have bought something in the Marina!

Speaking of the Marina, since when is that a style of house as well as a (very expensive) neighborhood?  That’s a new one for me.

See, you can learn something reading Burbed!

Also have a look at the level, grassy garden, because Redfin says the lot doesn’t have a size.  Zillow says it’s 2500 sf.  Looking at the satellite picture, that would mean a 25 x 100 foot lot.

And every foot of those 25 are taken up by the house in front.  Does “single family home” mean something different in The City than it does in the burbs?

Those walls look like they’re touching to me.  Heck, those walls probably aren’t even holding the house up, because they’re leaning on the two neighbors’ houses.  The only homes on this block that have actual load-bearing walls are the ones on each corner.

Today we have a treat for you, thanks to Burbed reader Ashley.  This is a Los Altos Hills listing, which means get out your wallets, and your bank accounts, and your 401Ks, and your stock options, and better check in between the couch cushions too.  Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?

 

27197 BLACK MOUNTAIN Rd, Los Altos Hills, CA 94022
$2,495,000

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 3.5
SQ. FT.: 3,635
$/SQ. FT.: $686
LOT SIZE: 1.01 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Contemporary
STORIES: Bi/Split Level
VIEW: Bay, Green Belt, Mountains, Neighborhood, Valley, City Lights
YEAR BUILT: 1958
COMMUNITY: Los Altos Hills
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81129731
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 102 days

IDEAL FLOOR PLAN FOR ADULTS & FAMILIES WITH TEENS. Perfect for entertaining. A media buff’s paradise, including a Home Theatre “2nd only to Spielberg’s”. PALO ALTO SCHOOLS. GREAT VIEWS. Across from Byrne Preserve, yet 10 mins. to town. Custom REMODELED – eclectic blend of hi-tech & Euro. Fab Master Suite, Office. PRIVATE DRIVEWAY directly Rt of house to back entry, 3-car gar. ,generous turnabout

Here’s why Ashley sent in this house:

Long time reader and first time contributor. I found this house in Los Altos Hills in the coveted PA school district (Nixon, Terman, Gunn schools) . Priced at $2.5 Mil, it boasts “a media buff’s paradise, including a Home Theatre “2nd only to Spielberg’s”". Is there any way we can check what Spielberg has in his many homes to ensure that we are not being fooled by this realtor??? Why could they not have said that the house came wired with a high end media system and left it at that?

I, for one, would have been impressed if they compared the media room to what George Lucas has.  This isn’t Beverly Hills.

Although between the media room and that vanity in the bathroom  maybe whoever lived here thought it was.  But if that were the case, why are there five pictures of the deck and none of the swimming pool?

What do you mean, this house is asking $2.5M and doesn’t have a pool?

Next you’re going to tell me it sold 23 years ago for $985K, which would knock this place right out of the Real Bay Area on valuation alone.

Meanwhile, have I missed some new kitchen design trend? 1958 colors with 42 inch wide white appliances?  But some of the painting effects in other photos looks like they did the sponge treatment, which is so 2001.

Here’s another number: 102 days on the market.  So the agent did tell the truth about one thing:

“,generous turnabout.”

Here’s a Mountain View find flip from Burbed reader Michael Boltonestater, new to the market!  Thanks very much, Michael.

 

155 HAMILTON Ave, Mountain View, CA 94043
$899,000

BEDS:3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,280
$/SQ. FT.: $702
LOT SIZE: 5,000 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Modern/High Tech, Contemporary
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1955
COMMUNITY: Thompson
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81143278
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 1 day
NEW LISTING (24 HOURS)

Heavily sought out “Eichler” home! Professionally Staged! This home has been completely remodeled; new & refinished kitchen cabinets & hardwood floors, gleaming granite countertops, stainless steel appliances, new fixtures throughout home, both baths redone extensive stone work w/ new sinks, tiled shower walls, vanity’s, nickel brush hardware and shower doors! Newly landscaped thougout!

Michael notes a comparable home on a bigger lot has a Zestimate in the high $700s and says, “Good luck to them!”  Clearly Michael doesn’t understand that just like in the arts, real estate is also all about appearances, promotion, and expectation.  All is vanity’s!  If this home lists for a higher price than the neighborhood would support, it’s because the seller is telling us It’s Special Here thougout!  Sure, the front of the house looks rather unwelcoming, but that’s a feature.  Marauding bands of Occupy Mountain View toughs won’t think this place is part of the 1%!

Meanwhile, to see how Special this place really is,check out the virtual tour!  This kind of attention to detail thougout is what makes a property worth paying a hundred thousand over comps.  For example. the solid door leads to gardage.  Bet you didn’t know this house was equipped with Beefeaters!

And the new ceiling fan (spinning), just like this Realtard is.

And here’s the flip hat-trick of stainless, granite and hardwood.  We also have some awkward usage here (back-splash?) as well as the first of three (count ‘em, three) uses of the Realtard ejaculation “light and bright,” although never before have I seen it used as a quantity.

Take the tour, plenty of fun things to find!  And it was professionally staged, so enjoy the $164,000 markup performance.  See you at intermission!

And if you think this is too much staging, there’s always the original source material to fall back upon (thanks to dollarbin for that find).  For example, this charming photo is, I kid you not, the “program cover” of the old listing.  But there isn’t a single spelling error in the listing copy thougout.

Today’s listing from the bargain basement is courtesy of Burbed reader dollarbin.  Thanks very much for this incredible deal in Mountain View.  Oops, did you blink?  Pending!

208 Escuela Ave, Mountain View, CA 94040
Listed for $480K, Reduced to $428K, Further Reduced to $399K

BEDS: 2
BATHS: 1.0
FINISHED SQFT: 824
UNFINISHED SQFT: -
TOTAL SQFT: 824
FLOORS: 1
LOT SIZE: 5,500
STYLE: Single Family Residential
YEAR BUILT: 1949
YEAR RENOVATED: 1949
COUNTY: Santa Clara County
APN: 15401006
LAST UPDATED: July 12, 2011

THIS IS A WONDERFUL HOME! REGULAR SALE!! PLS E-MAIL TENANTS 1st. DARLING STARTER HOME IN MOUNTAIN VIEW. GREAT FOR A FIRST TIME BUYER OR INVESTOR. GOOD INT. LAYOUT, LG LIVING ROOM, EAT-IN KITCHEN, STAINLESS STEEL GAS COOKTOP and FRIDGE. WASHER and DRYER JUST INSIDE BACK DOOR ADJ TO KITCHEN. GOOD SIZED REAR YD WITH FLOWERING PLANTS AND A 2 CAR GARAGE

Wow, not only pending, but the agent yanked the photos and the description, like it’s off-market!  Good thing I found the photos over on Trulia.  Then I found the listing copy on Zillow (they say the listing has been removed).

Here’s what dollarbin had to say about the place.

Love the site, long time reader, first time caller. I think this listing might threaten 94040′s RBA status.

Chopped from $480K to $428K and now at the magic level of $399K. We live across the street and we toured the place when it first came on the market and it’s in pretty sad shape. The current tenants basically pile up their crap and dirty laundry on the beds and throw a blanket over it to “clean up”. That said, it’s one short block from this place that set somebody back $715K in 2010, I guess that’s the value in a little staging.

To be fair, 1846 is in 94041 and has Bubb elementary whereas 208 Escuela has Castro, but the Middle and High schools are the same.

Keep up the good work.

Oh come on, dollarbin, looks like by cleaning up half the living room, that was the staging.  For tenants who clean up by throwing a blanket over everything, this is a bloody miracle.

Either that or all the dirty laundry is under the couches.

As of last Thursday (10/6) there was a sold tag on the for sale sign out front, I guess somebody was able to smell a bargain over the stench of pet urine. I wonder how long before we see it fixed up and back on the market?

Oh, they really should stay for a while.  Look at all the next-door neighbors to meet!

Today’s listing was sent in by Burbed reader MS.  Thanks very much for this MUST SEE NOW in San Mateo!

 

1235 TERMINAL Pl, San Mateo, CA 94401
$449,999

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,040
$/SQ. FT.: $433
LOT SIZE: 4,050 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Traditional
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1944
COMMUNITY: North Shoreview/Dore Cavanaugh
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81114350
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 189 days

MUST SEE NOW! Completely remodeled 3 BR 2 full baths including a new roof, double pane windows, new kitchens cabinet, granite counter top and new stainless steel appliances. Pergo floor throughout the house, recessed lighting throughout the house, new interior, exterior paints. Detached two car garage. Drive way on the side of the property.

Here’s what MS had to say about this home:

This house is Really for Sale. It has really not sold in 170 days.

Actually it took a while to run this, so now it’s more than 190 days.

The house foreclosed at $260K, came BOM at $500K, and has been stuck at $450K for going on three months.  It is not selling because the flippers did not fix the obvious and did not take into account what could not be fixed.

1. It’s very close to the 101 retaining wall.
2. The garage is an unpermitted conversion from a one-car to a two-car, is sagging, and backs right up to an alley shared with an chain-linked parking gate for a not-nice apartment building.
3. The crawl space goes about halfway through the house. How you get to the other half is unknown.
4. The water heater and w/d hookups are in exposed enclosures outside.
5. The neighbor across the street has an 18-foot junk mountain behind his fence with “beware of dog” sign. A mattress is perched at the apex.

I CAN HAZ STREETVU?

I agree it’s never a good sign when the lead picture on MLS isn’t the front of the house.  But surprisingly, the front exterior is not the picture of most concern.  Here’s a look at the side and that unpermitted garage.

Hmmm.  The Redfin agent toured it four times and concluded:

And we haven’t even started looking inside yet!

The seller just isn’t thinking BIG enough.  Close to SF, close to Silicon Valley, close to biotech jobs, and really, really, really close to 101.

There’s a garage (with no access for a car) which you can instead use for the next Web 3.0 startup incubator make.money.fast opportunity.  Now all that’s needed is a Web 3.0 price and a reminder to drive way on the side of the property.  Way, way on the side.

I’m thinking… $995K.  Who’s in?

Thanks very much to Burbed reader AstroWallaby for this absolutely amazing listing from the garlic fields of Gilroy!  Remember, drive a little, save a lot!

 

7256 CHURCH St, Gilroy, CA 95020
$430,000

 

BEDS: 5
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 2,193
$/SQ. FT.: $196
LOT SIZE: 9,800 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Victorian
STORIES: 2
YEAR BUILT: 1900
COMMUNITY: Morgan Hill/Gilroy/San Martin
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81139389
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 9 days

Two homes for the price of one(almost). Large two story home with 5 bedrooms and 2 baths. 2nd home was built in 2006 has modern amenities and has ally access. There is some work to be done, but this is the definition of sweat equity.

Here’s what AstroWallaby had to say about this property:

Oooh, as an aside, check out this nearby neighbor of the Gilroy house:

In particular, the aerial view. Take a nice old Victorian on a reasonably roomy lot, maybe spruce it up a bit… and then fill the entire backyard with another house. Brilliant! That’s down-south country-style livin’ for you.

Let’s have a look, then.

Wow.  Just, wow.  If only San Jose were as forward-looking as Gilroy and did away with that silly zoning code.  Not only would we have in-law units in our back-yards, we’d have apartment houses in our back yards.  Ka-ching!

But this is not the definition of sweat equity.  This is the definition of “previous owner ran out of borrowed money.”  Maybe the agent meant “the banker is breaking into a sweat over what happened to all its equity.”