Like photos? So do we!  And this pimped-out property has powerful pix!  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Tracy Tea House for finding us this Cambrian casa. It may not have “Honey, stop the car!” curb appeal or “Can I hire your decorator” staging, but for all we know this listing was photographed by Herb Ritts.

5639 Park Manor Dr
San Jose, CA 95118
$645,000

• MLS/Source ID: 81301959
• 4 Bedrooms
• 2 Bathrooms
• 1,486 sqft
• Single-Family Home
• Lot Size: 6,098 sqft
• Neighborhood: Cambrian
• 14 Days on Trulia
• 289 views

5639 Park Manor Dr ADORABLE 4BEDROOM/2BATH HOME WITH GUADALUPE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL! Refinished hardwood floors* all new interior paint including the kitchen cabinets & hall vanity* new faucets, mirrors, light bars, vinyl floor & baseboards in master & hall bath* new vanity in master bath* new family room carpet* all new satin nickel interior doorknobs* new dishwasher & faucet* nice play structure* & NEW ROOF.

Tracy says this listing is OMG.  If a picture is worth a thousand words, then it’s definitely tl;dr. 

Bunus: Super-ultra-extra redundant power lines!  Lots of them, so convenient!

Let’s finish out our workweek (not that Real Bay Area denizens ever would take a day off) with a place on the way to almost anywhere you’d like to go this weekend.  That is, if you didn’t have a job and were free to go somewhere besides work.  You never know, you might get a Sunday off when you meet your next milestone! (Just kidding!)

785 5TH Ave
San Bruno, CA 94066
$379,000

2 Beds
1 Baths
780 Sq. Ft.
$486 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1930
Lot Size: 6,633 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 1 day
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Community: Belle Air
MLS#: 81302815
Stories: 1
County: San Mateo

Two Bedrooms One bathroom House on a large lot. Currently occupied by Month to month tenants. Need TLC. Close to Freeway and transportation.

Needs Toilet Lid Crushed?  Unfortunately no crapper shots, but we have some winners anyway.  Can’t quite decide if the kitchen merits a Good Housekeeping Tag of Approval or not.

And when this agent said close to freeway, she meant it.  Dang, this place is close to absolutely EVERYTHING.

You could even make extra money taking overflow parking during Thanksgiving!  No wonder the front yard is so durable.

Bunus: Save $10,000 from August, 2011 asking price!

We love flips.  Take your vintage crapbox that hasn’t been updated since the original owners signed the restrictive covenant, let it marinate for 57 years and mix thoroughly with a cash sale.  Wait 3–6 months and then garnish with new appliances, new paint, new countertops. Of course it’s the same old house under the makeup.

Today’s Los Gatos lovely was sent in by Burbed reader nomadic.  See how long it takes you to figure out what’s wrong with this picture.

135 ANNE Way
Los Gatos, CA 95032
$1,100,000

4 Beds 
2.5 Baths 
2,299 Sq. Ft.
$478 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1964 
Lot Size: 8,050 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 26 days
Status: Pending Without Release
Property Type: Detached Single Family
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara
Stories: 2
Community: Los Gatos/Monte Sereno
MLS#: 81243731

Huge lot. Incredible Gorgeous tree-lined street in highly desirable Los Gatos neighborhood! This home is another SVHOME renovation that includes stunning remodeled kitchen featuring granite counters, new appliances, new lighting and laminate flooring; baths feature extensive use of travertine stonework. New plumbing fixtures, vanities and lighting; plush new carpeting in all bedrooms, fresh paint

Let’s check in with nomadic on why this house deserves your attention:

Bought November 16, pergranisteel kitchen, new baths and some paint by December 26, when it was re-listed.  Instantly pending!  $284k price delta.

The flippers’ site: http://www.svhome.com/

Yes, the flipper’s have a site, including a ginormous animated photo-graphic that literally flips in segments while you watch.  They also have a page of all their pending properties, including this one.  Most of the others have a virtual tour.  This one does not.

This one also does not have any photos of that stunning remodeled kitchen featuring granite counters, new appliances, new lighting and laminate flooring. The flippers are asking us to take their word for it about the extensive use of travertine stonework.  They wouldn’t even give us a peek at the plush new carpeting, fresh paint.

Although we are giving you a really good ogle at those sturdy power transmission lines running through the back yard.  Now, check out this unbelievable listing history, courtesy of Zillow:

Are you sure there was a flip here?  Really super sure?  Because if there was, it’s still selling for less than they tried to get for it five years ago. (And according to Redfin, they were trying to sell it in 2006 as well.) The November sale price is an eye-opener.  Looks like after five or six years of chasing the market down, the owners finally bailed.  Just a month later it’s back in seven digit range.  All it took was a little pergranisteel and traverstone.

Want to be a real estate mover and shaker? Start today by buying this property that features 2, yes (2) lots!  Think of all the ways you could take advantage of this amazing zoning opportunity.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for sending us this salubrious spread in Santa Clara!

2710 PRUNERIDGE Ave
Santa Clara, CA 95051
$1,575,000

4 Beds 
3 Baths 
2,254 Sq. Ft.
$699 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1961 
Lot Size: 10,270 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 6 days
Status: Active
Property Type
Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81300520
Style: Ranch
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara

(2)Lots for Sale With Building Plans for (2)Custom Homes. (Sold Together) Lot #1 APN 294-32-041: 4Br/5Ba, 2 Story Custom Home:3,454s. f. with (2)Car Garage. Lot Size: 8,614s. f. Cupertino Schools!! Lot #2 APN294-32-042: 4Br/5Ba, 2 Story Custom Home: 3,243s. f. with (2)Car Garage. Lot Size: 8,002s. f. Santa Clara Schools. (Lot Lines Adjusted per S. F. )Existing 4Br/3Ba Home Encroaches on New Property Line.

Wow, was that listing copy written by an attorney who doesn’t want anyone to notice the details? Or perhaps a claustrophobic, because whoever typed that in is afraid of spaces.  Now let’s have a good look at this opportunity with an existing 52 year old house that encroaches on New Property Line.

The red line appears to be for Lot #1, the bigger 8614 sf parcel. As you can see it cuts through the east side of the existing house, but fortunately, it did not bring the cooties of Santa Clara Schools all the way to the front door.

Yes, we hope you noticed that Lot #1 is Cupertino Schools and Lot #2 isn’t.  But wait! There’s more!

See those little words in the driveway?  Yes, technically your driveway is an actual city street that ends a few feet before the back fence.  Here’s another look at the neighborhood.

So not only do you have one house with several inches on the other lotline, you also have a named city street taking up most of it.

How are you going to design your way out of this configuration?  We assume one of the lots boasts a Portal to Hell for extra storage.

One other solution: Street Fair Every Day.  Now we’re talking Serious Opportunity!  Call up some of those Gourmet Food Trucks, have them kick back some of the take, and you’ll be paying this place off in no time. 

Bunus: Santa Clara Utilities for all!

Time once again to visit one of our favorite places in the entire Real Bay Area!  And it’s been a while because the properties go pending faster than we can click through the listing photos.  We’ve been telling you that many RBA neighborhoods are hot, hot, HOT.  Now we’ve got even more proof that The Bubbly is Back.  Check out this Palo Alto palazzo from Burbed reader Michael Boltonestater!

411 PEPPER Ave
Palo Alto, CA 94306
$868,000

3 Beds 
1 Baths 
987 Sq. Ft.
$879 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1940 
Lot Size: 6,534 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 5 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories:1
Community: Ventura
MLS#: 81300120
Style: Cottage/Bungalow
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara

Walk to California Avenue and enjoy all it has to offer, from this charming 1940s cottage with endless potential. Light filled rooms, hardwood floors, remodeled bathroom. Expansive backyard. Quiet location. Outstanding Palo Alto Schools. No offers prior to 1/14/13.

Not just a house in Palo Alto with endless potential (after all, every house in Palo Alto has endless potential, just by being in Palo Alto!), this is a 1940s cottage with endless potential.  Just look at that kitchen!  They sure don’t build them like they used to.

But did you catch the last line in the listing?  “No offers prior to 1/14/13.”  If that isn’t proof that it’s 2006 again, we don’t know what will convince you.  Once again, the realtards are so convinced that their listed houses sell themselves, they get to decide what day they sell themselves.

Now here’s what Michael thinks about this Would Sell Way Over Asking Right Now If Only The Agent Hadn’t Made Everyone Wait a Week property:

Nice neighbors too, if you like junkyards.

These will be terrific neighbors… if you ever need to borrow a cup of brake fluid.

Today’s fine featured facade is brought to you by Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer!  Thanks very much, and if you want to see your name up in lights on the front page like PG’s, send your richest realty wrecks to one of the emails on the rightside column.

396 BARTLETT Ave
Sunnyvale, CA 94086
$699,000

3 Beds 
2 Baths 
1,765 Sq. Ft.
$396 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1942 
Lot Size: 5,100 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 70 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Sunnyvale
MLS#: 81237245
Style: Traditional
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara

Absolutely a gorgeous home, completely rebuilt from the ground up in 2007. Oak kitchen cabinets granite counter tops. Hardwood floors in living room. Plus much more. Property will be open on Saturday, October 27 2012 from 12:00 to 4:00 p. m. Please show at that time.

Oak, granite, hardwood…. wait, wait, something’s missing.  Shoot, I bet the agent had the flip trifecta in the listing copy all along, and another joker figured he could just steel it and stain a reputation.

PG’s observation on this property:

Absolutely a gorgeous home… Yet there is only one picture.

Plus much more.

You want to know how much more?  You see that big corporate campus behind the back fence?  It just got sold to a real estate investment partnership.

Yes.  That means you could lease some of the space and then your commute to work would literally be seconds.  All you’d have to do is build a gate through your back fence.  You’d have a shorter commute than Mark Zuckerberg did back when he had a rental a block from the old Facebook HQ, and soon you’ll have a smaller number than he does (#36) on the Forbes 400!

How are you going to do that? Dunno, but Sunnyvale’s about to lose 1100 jobs.  Get cracking!

Bunus: Also just seconds away: expressway and high-voltage transmission lines! Is this house great or what? Plus much more.  Like the central location conveniently nestled between several Super Fun sites.

Property will be open on Saturday, October 27th 2012.

Let’s take a break from our Black Friday DEALS and see what a house can look like if you’re willing to spend more than what you find in your sofa cushions.  Instead of scraping the bottom of the barrel, let’s see what you can get for a million and a half.  Thanks very much to Petsmart Groomer for this magnificent Menlo Park megaplex!

1045 WINDERMERE Ave
Menlo Park, CA 94025
$1,549,000

3 Beds 
3.5 Baths 
2,856 Sq. Ft.
$542 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2007 
Lot Size: 8,923 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 77 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Flood Park Area
MLS#: 81234064
Style: Traditional, Craftsman
View: Neighborhood
County: San Mateo

Stunning 5-year-old rebuilt home | 3 bedroom suites & 3.5 ba | Kitchen-family great room | Incredible chef’s kitchen w/ custom cabs, center island, walk-in pantry, high-end stainless appliances incl 6′ wide double fridge | Bonus room off FR perfect for office or play | Fine finishes: 9′ ceilings, rich moldings, plantation shutters, hrdwd flrs, recessed lighting, AC | Great yard | Top MP schools

Isn’t it nice to see a place for sale that doesn’t look like a crime scene?  Don’t you just want to move in here?  We just hope that Flood Park Area is just a neighborhood name and not a description, or worse, an order.

And for this price category, you should, and here you do get some decent real estate photography.  (Although we think this house is  slightly radioactive: look at the sky color change near the roof and especially the trees) Think about some of the places on the sale rack that were shot with a disposable.

Remember, you get what you pay for!  And in this case it’s location, location, location!

Or should that be LOLcation?  Guess that explains the chef’s kitchen w/custom cabs.

Yesterday’s house seems to be a disappointment to some of you. There were some critics calling out the neighborhood, or maybe the neighbors. Maybe you don’t understand what we’re doing here.  We said we would find you the cheapest house in every county.  We are then doing that. If the neighborhood isn’t la-di-dah enough for you sip-your-tea-with-a-raised-pinky types, just keep your jodhpurs on. We’ll include some Real Bay Area cities in our Black Friday Deals.

Just… not yet!  Today, the cheapest house in all of Contra Costa County! Behold!

2819 CUTTING Blvd
Richmond, CA 94804
$49,950

1 Beds 
1 Baths
694 Sq. Ft.
$72 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1940 
Lot Size: 2,500 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 48 days
Status: Active
Type: Detached
Stories: 1
County: Contra Costa
Style: Bungalow
Community: South Richmond
MLS#: 40592250

Must See To Appreciate

This is the house. You want it? Must See to Appreciate. No lookie, no value go up.  Simple.  Boom.  But only one photo. Can’t really see it. And you must see it. You must to appreciate.

Think writing a listing like this is easy? Sure. Writing listings is easy. You just sit down by an MLS terminal and bleed.

Just because it isn’t Black Friday anymore doesn’t mean the DEALS stop!  Let’s see what you can get if you want to live in San Mateo County but don’t want to break the bank.  Or rob the bank.  Or get a ginormous bail-out because you’re a bank.

719 3RD Ave
San Bruno, CA 94066
$388,880

2 Beds 
1 Baths 
820 Sq. Ft.
$474 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1940 
Lot Size: 3,700 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 7 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Belle Air
MLS#: 81241202
Style: Ranch
View: Neighborhood
County: San Mateo

Lovingly kept & lived by current owner for a long time. Per county record it is 3BR/1BA; however, 3rd BR has no closet. Walking distance to BART/CalTrain/Elem School. Easy access to HWY 101 for commuting to SF, E. Bay and So. Bay. Regular Sale (Not a Short Sale or REO). Open House 11/18(Sun 1-4 pm) & 11/25(Sun 1-4 pm). Offers, if any, due by 11/25,3 pm. Information believe to be accurate but not verified.

We’re already doing better than yesterday’s cheapest property in Santa Clara County, because the first find is an actual, detached house.  It’s also eligible for the “cozy” tag, but you can’t have everything, can you? Come on, this is vintage pre-war, and it looks like it’s still in vintage condition! Plus that awesome “No, no, no, this isn’t a distressed sale, really!” plaint in the listing copy.

You want a house? You now have zero excuses. Plus, just like yesterday’s third house, easy access to both 101 and the airport!

This house is the deal of the century! (Information believe to be accurate but not verified.)

If you haven’t already gotten up at 5 a.m. to start shopping for holiday bargains, you’ve still come to the right place!  Thanksgiving is over, so get on your steel-toed cyber boots, the better to kick your fellow shoppers out of your way!  Yes, it’s time for Burbed‘s Black Friday Sales, where we find the absolute rock-bottom in housing prices all around the Bay!  And we’re opening an hour early just for you!

Here’s how Black Friday Sales will work this year. We’ll again feature the cheapest properties in each county all around the Bay Area, plus some of our favorite cities.  But we won’t forget that our readers are sending in listings as well, so you just never know if each day will be a Sale Property or something else entirely.  You’ll just have to tune in every day to find out.

Let’s begin our sales in Silicon Valley, because even Googlers like to bargain-hunt.  Here we go, the absolutely cheapest house in all of Santa Clara County!  Ready?

8282 Murray Ave #97
Gilroy, CA 95020
$18,000

1 Beds 
1 Baths 
542 Sq. Ft.
$33 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1966 
Lot Size: — 
On Redfin: 38 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Mobile Home (Single Wide), Mobile Home (Expando)
County: Santa Clara
Community: Morgan Hill/Gilroy/San Martin
MLS#: 81237950

Pre-owned, 1966 Kit, 1 bedroom/ 1 bath Single-wide mobile home in a senior park (one owner must be at least 55 years of age). Includes refrigerator, washer & dryer and window air conditioner. Low space rent!

Oh, not what you had in mind?  Even with a low space rent of $560 (which will probably double as soon as you finish signing those papers at the title company)?  Even with 15 pictures?

If you insist, there’s this.

5591 CARRYBACK Ave
San Jose, CA 95111
$245,000

2 Beds
2 Baths
1,121 Sq. Ft.
$219 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1989
Lot Size: 2,184 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 265 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Attached Single Family
Community South San Jose
MLS# 81208122
Stories: 2
County Santa Clara

Good home conveniently located. This is a short sale. Please do not disturb occupants.

Whatever developer named this street sure has a twisted sense of humor, because it’s a short sale.  There ought to be a Piggyback Lane here too.  Be sure to check out the listing history, because this place has gone pending four different times in the last three years, plus it sold in 2000, yes, twelve years ago, for $247K.

What? You want a detached house?  Okay, but this is your very last chance.

2138 HURAN Dr
San Jose, CA 95122
$248,000

3 Beds
1 Baths
912 Sq. Ft.
$272 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1960
Lot Size: 5,150 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 16 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
View: Neighborhood
County Santa Clara
Stories: 1
Community Alum Rock
MLS# 81240311

Another opportunity to own this 3 bedroom 1 bathroom single Family home located in San Jose. Very close to shopping centers, mall, and schools. Easy access to freeway 101. Sell is an “AS IS “ condition. Some dual Pane windows. Garage converted but permits unknown.

Oh, we’ve got a winner here! This one has everything! It’s also selling shortly, plus questionable permits and for sale as-is.  The listing copy mentioned the “easy access” to 101, but they didn’t mention the just as easy access to Reid-Hillview Airport. Hope you like the sound of takeoffs and landings!

And remember, more Black Friday Sales to come!