One of the things that keep readers engaged with this site are the atrocious listing photos that are supposed to engage potential buyers.  Now, there are a number of ways a photo can fail to attract the people who might otherwise wish to buy a home.  Some are because the agent didn’t bother cleaning up the house, or didn’t notice something in the picture that really shouldn’t have been included, or because there really is nothing attractive about the house no matter what angle you shoot from.

But there can also be photography problems on the higher end of home sales.  High Dynamic Range photography allows more differences in light and dark areas of a photo, to make a picture appear more vivid.  HDR is usually done by taking photos of the same scene at different exposures and having the images rendered together.  If you’d like to learn more about HDR, there’s a nice overview on the subject on Wikipedia, and they’ve included this image of what HDR can achieve.  Then again, the overly saturated colors and the bizarre color shifts between each palm tree make this photo a candidate for I Hate Your HDR.

The problem is when HDR isn’t done with restraint and balance, and that brings us to today’s featured home.  Many thanks to Burbed reader Tracy Tea House for this hella high definition domicile!

16020 CAMINO DEL CERRO
Los Gatos, CA 95032
$3,999,900

BEDS: 5
BATHS: 4.5
SQ. FT.: 4,869
$/SQ. FT.: $822
LOT SIZE: 0.88 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: French
STORIES: 2
VIEW: Valley, City Lights
YEAR BUILT: 2000
COMMUNITY: Los Gatos/Monte Sereno
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81203958
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 52 days

Classic French Estate. Outstanding views across Silicon Valley. Extensive landscaping with patios, walkways, custom iron work, & fountains. Fabulous interior custom faux finish with gold leaf. Huge formal living room w/ floor to ceiling windows. Family room kitchen w/ cherry cabinets, slab granite, & stainless appliances. Master w/ fireplace & 2 walk-in closets. 1 bed/bath downstairs. 4 car garage.

Here’s what Tracy had to say about today’s property:

We did not buy this one, because it did not have a pool.

This is a Classic French Estate.  A pool is so Hollywood.  Then again, a structure built in 2000 that’s just 131 square feet too small to qualify for the “ginormous” tag isn’t a Classic French Estate.  If it were, the city it’s in would have a name more like Les Chats.

If you’re into megahomes pretending to be Classic French Estates, this isn’t the worst example of the genre.  I mean, heck, it even has MAWBUL KAWLUMS, but not an excessive number of them.  That means break out the Official Burbed Red Arrow Kit, but it would have been more instructive to use them on the crappy HDR job.  First take a look at the photo atop this article, and pay careful attention to the way the sky color gently transitions from a darker to lighter tone (at least as long as there aren’t any palm trees interfering).

Contrast (ha ha) the Wikipedia shot with some from today’s house.  The one immediately above with the porch rail suggest these trees are radioactive. And this one at left not only has plants full of radium, someone set us up the bomb inside the house as well.  The fountain looks like it’s in danger of a core meltdown.  You can see the same effect in the sky above the Kawlums.

If you’re having trouble seeing that HDR luminescent glow, don’t worry.  This interior picture at right really punches it up to 11, because the sky is only sky-colored where it doesn’t actually touch a window frame.  Thus you get blue-grey blobs of color surrounded by white when you look out the window.  That is, if you can tear your eyes away from the living room furniture in HDRVision.

Remember, HDR is supposed to be used to heighten shadows and highlights, not to blow out our eyeballs.  Besides, the kind of buyers this photo would attract will be so disappointed by how colorless and flat the actual house is.

We recently received this email (without the pictures; I selected them especially for the excess smug):

Open House 23+ Acres $1,288,000 in Los Gatos Sunday 01-29-2012 OPEN 1-5pm

Take in the spectacular views!
OPENHOUSESunday 1PM-5PM!

21631 HICKS Rd, Los Gatos, CA 95032
MLS# 81200553
23 beautiful acres with SFR
Priced to sell @ $1,288,000

Spectacular views of city lights, Lexington Reservoir, the Santa Cruz Mountains and the Valley.
Build your dream estate on this 23 acre property with over 3 buildable pads.

A secluded and private retreat close to town!
Possibilities are endless, vineyards, horses, lush gardens, orchard, solar, Helipad.
Only 5 minutes to Los Gatos.

Valuable property that is priced to sell now.
Thanks,
agent name and phone

p.s. Email me if you would like to see photos of the property.

Hicks Road?  Why did that seem familiar?  Ah, yes!

We don’t know why this agent’s email got caught in a time warp where it didn’t show up until yesterday, but we can only assume it was sent to Burbed because they want the property featured again.  The least we could do is oblige them.  Quickly.  Click on through to see how the place is being marketed now.

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Today’s find is a high-end listing, courtesy of Burbed reader Overheard in San Carlos.  Now, if you read yesterday’s feature based on price tiers in the SF Case-Shiller Index, you might be thinking that means a property that costs more than $579,803.  This property indeed qualifies as costing more than not a lot of money.

16100 GREENRIDGE Ter,
Los Gatos, CA 95030
$2,900,000

BEDS: –
BATHS: –
SQ. FT.: –
LOT SIZE: 36 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Residential Land (Single Family)
VIEW: Bay, Green Belt, Mountains, Canyon, Neighborhood, Valley, City Lights
COMMUNITY: Los Gatos/Monte Sereno
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 80930783
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 934 days

The finest estate land left in Los Gatos with unparalleled privacy, views and proximity to Town amenities. 36 pristine acres just minutes from downtown. Potential for subdivision with multiple view lot possibilities. Adjacent to the desirable Highlands of Los Gatos subdivision. Fresh air, wildlife, beautiful oaks, privacy with views of the valley, city lights, and views all the way to the Bay.

Here’s what OSC had to say about this property flyer.

Wow.. having to reduce a property’s price by over 50% to get it sold is NOT something to brag about…

Price slashed 50%, after two and a half years on the market. If you’ve been waiting for a big open space to hide lots of bodies, this could be what you’re looking for!

DEALS, DEALS, DEALS, we never stop looking for the best values throughout the Real Bay Area!  Today, Los Gatos!  Let’s see what kind of Cat House we can dig up for less than Not A Lot of Money.

14331 BROWNS Ln, Los Gatos, CA 95032
$299,900

BEDS: 2
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 816
$/SQ. FT.: $368
LOT SIZE: 9,583 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1948
COMMUNITY: Los Gatos/Monte Sereno
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81126353
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Pending With Release
ON REDFIN: 187 days

Charming home located on a large lot with easy access to downtown Los Gatos and Freeways.

Really easy access.

Yes, we’re back with Northern California places on the Forbes most expensive zip code list.  As you get ready for Thanksgiving, one thing you can give thanks for this Thursday is that this all-time favorite series (if by “favorite” I actually mean “causes excited readers to fling household appliances”) only runs on Sundays.  That means it’s at least another seven days until the next installment!  If you missed the last ones, you’ll want to catch up RIGHT AWAY so you are completely up on every aspect:

• Top 50 Most Expensive Zip Codes, RBA Edition
• Next 50 Most Expensive Zip Codes, Almost-RBA Edition
• Third Tier Realty: Zips 101-200 or I have a feeling we’re not in the RBA Anymore

Also, beginning Friday will be Burbed’s Black Friday Sales!  That’s where we scour the Real Bay Area in search of the best bargains out there for you.  While you may not be able to afford the most expensive house in the most expensive zip codes, maybe you can afford one on the other extreme!

And now, the Top 100 of the Bottom 300 Most Expensive Zip Codes in the Country: This is Fourth Tier: Under a Million Median Means Middleclass Metroplex.  Or the shorter version: Forbes screwed up again.

#212: Redwood City 94062

• Median Home Price: $998,975
• Median Price Change: -11.9% ⇓
• Average Days On Market: 200 118
• Inventory: 118 76
• Rank in 2010: #185 (-27 spots ⇓)
• Most Expensive Home: $3.6 Million $3.45 Million (610 Edgewood Road)

One of the few shared zips to survive Forbes and Altos Research’s data parsing, the most expensive zip in Redwood City is shared with tony Woodside, California.  But you won’t find movers and shakers like Larry Ellison in Redwood City.

What you will find is this house, complete with Mawbul Kawlums, at a Woodside Price on a busy arterial that feeds I-280!  The owners have been trying to sell it since 2009, no doubt because its neighborhood of “High School Acres” fails to evoke wealth, exclusivity, or prestige.  Maybe they should rename it “Prep School Prospects” and see if that does the trick.

More exciting Zip Code ZAwesomeness after the break!  More! More! More!

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What will it take to make the zip code series stop?  Lots and lots and lots of quality submissions!  So until you send in your best guest post EVEH, we’ll be running these wonderful lists and photos for the next few hundred Sundays or until we run out of data, by which time Forbes (if they’re still a going concern) will have the 2012 list ready.  But look on the bright side.  No more annoying maps like last year!

Today we look at all the Northern California entries in Forbes Most Expensive Zip Codes 2011: The Top 100 of the Bottom 400.

Previous entries in this year’s series:

• Top 50 Most Expensive Zip Codes, RBA Edition
• Next 50 Most Expensive Zip Codes, Almost-RBA Edition

Quick recap: Forbes messed up their data even worse than usual this year, plus many areas on last year’s list have completely disappeared without explanation.  We add in the comparison to last year’s rankings and find the “most expensive” house (if it’s findable) that Forbes mentions for each entry.  While Forbes doesn’t seem that interested in hearing from their readers (registration is required), Altos Research, who did the number-crunching, loves talking data.  They’ve responded to a couple of my concerns here.

Here we go, numbers 101-200, which are now under the Million and a Half Median!  How Low do we have to go to sink under a million?  Remember, this is the Third Tier, so Real Bay Area (RBA) bragging rights are gone (except for some exceptions).

#106: Alamo 94507

• Median Home Price: $1,396,000
• Median Price Change: -7.8% ⇓
• Average Days On Market: 200 134
• Inventory: 134 102
• Rank in 2010: #101 (-5 spots ⇓)
• Most Expensive Home: $11.8 Million (322 Lark Lane)

This high-end (for the East Bay) location south of Walnut Creek is stuck in atop the third tier right where it belongs, just a few spots above Newport Beach.  This luxury home that looks more like an administration building kind of says it all.  Free architectural clue: It’s the windows that make this place a façade fail.

A new $13.8 million property has come on the market since the Forbes article ran, and it has a more traditional (and attractive) look, in the classic “Let’s build a French country estate in Contra Costa County” style.

Plenty more to enjoy after the break!  In fact, we promise the very next one is a Burbed favorite, so click on through.

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Here’s another bubblicious find from Burbed reader nomadic!  This is a delightful Los Gatos home, so well-situated that hundreds of people will drive by every hour to admire it!

 

14540 BLOSSOM HILL Rd, Los Gatos, CA 95032
$948,000

BEDS:4
BATHS: 2.5
SQ. FT.: 2,193
$/SQ. FT.: $432
LOT SIZE: 0.29 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Ranch
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1967
COMMUNITY: Los Gatos/Monte Sereno
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81142627
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 26 days

Wonderful home in Los Gatos on xx-lg-lot presents everything a buyer is looking for. Remodeled home with granite kitchen, wood floors, open living areas, architectural details of scalloped arched ways, crown molding, inset lighting and lots of natural light, dual-paned windows, large 2.5 baths with double sinks, large master with 2 closets, bonus vanity. Easy commute access. Move in with confidence!

Here’s what nomadic had to say about this house

Failed flip, foreclosed, for sale.  A realtard bought this place in ’06 and did all of the renovation work.  The bank ate the loss in ’08.

These people have done nothing to the house since buying it 4/09.  It’s on a busy street with a freakin’ traffic signal in the front yard.  But they figure it has appreciated 30% in 2-1/2 years.  I expect this to linger on the market for many months to come unless they get real about the price.  They would be phenomenally lucky to get $800k; more realistically, $750k-ish.  Look at the awesome street view.  Just to the right is an assisted-living facility; at least the neighbors will be quiet.

That is one amazing default Streetview shot.  I’m wondering about just how wide-angle a lens they must have used to take that picture above from the sidewalk.

And you just can’t beat the feng shui of a T-intersection with another arterial.  That means all that commerce and prosperity is going to flow right into your house.  Or is it out of your house? And speaking of out, here’s the assisted living facility next door.

If you have allergies, this is a great neighbor to have: 80% of the front lawn is paved.  But back to the feng shui, if these residents need assistance to live, does their health flow into your house or the other way ‘round?  This is like Cations and Anions, I can never remember which is which.  But as long as both are flowing in or out, you’ll either get commerce or health!  Make an offer with lots of 8s in the price and move in with confidence!

Ooops, my bad.  It’s a trick.  It’s a trick!

You see, Forbes has their new list of the 500 Most Expensive Zip Codes out, and it’s time to see how much of the Real Bay Area (RBA) can Occupy The Forbes Zip List!  Since this series is a perennial Burbed favorite, we’re going to devote the next five hundred weekend posts to lovingly analyzing every single aspect of this new set of delicious demographic domicile data.

Today: The Top 50 Most Expensive Zip Codes

Hey wait, come back!  This is going to be really good!  We’re going to see which zip codes gained or lost ground since last year!  Maybe some of them get kicked out of the RBA for this!  This is a Burbed exclusive, too, Forbes didn’t bother doing any analysis of their own list changes.

Plus this year’s Forbes feature has the top 50 places show the most expensive house so we’ll link to each listing, plus what you can get for a mere million. That means nothing in the RBA except one crapshack in Los Gatos despite their featuring 20 different “expensive” zips.  Ha ha!  Our expensive zips are so Special we don’t let any stinking one million dollar properties in!

We also love to catch Forbes in mistakes, so if there’s something more expensive they missed, or if they otherwise screwed up like last year, we’ll be sure to let them know with as much obnoxious chortling good-natured ribbing as possible.  It’s going to be awesome!

Updated: And the TRICK is on Forbes for a Burbed Treat!   They have screwed up very, very badly.  Badly enough that I’m wondering if their (bad, really bad) mistakes made it to the print version of this feature.  If anyone has a copy, please let us know in comments.

I’ve grabbed the Days on Market (DOM) from the big table as Burbed readers Divasm and nomadic point out every single zip had a DOM of 200.  That’s highly unlikely.  Nice going, Forbes!  I can’t wait to see if your other numbers disagree too!  (Yes, they’re fvcked.)

I’m also putting a break in right after the first entry, because this article is not one of our shorter pieces.  And now, here they are!  Every Northern California entry in Forbes Top 50!

#2: Atherton 94027

• Median Home Price: $4,295,000
• Median Price Change: +7.1% ⇑
• Average Days On Market: 200 162
• Inventory: 162 41
• Rank Last Year: #2 (no change)  ★ Exclusive BURBED content, Not on Forbes! ★
• Most Expensive Home: $20 Million (52 Tuscaloosa Avenue)

Oh little town of Atherton
How high we see thee lie
Above thy rich and floodless ditch
You burst with equitie
Yet in they dark streets shineth
No mortgage meltdown mess
The hopes and quips of other zips
Are met in thy address

Oops, Tuscaloosa now listed for $18.9 million.  Sorry about that!  Are you Astonished?

Also I found this $24M home, listed a month ago.  Guess they missed it when putting their article together, since it ran a couple of weeks ago.  But Homes of the Rich found it too.

More after the break!  Much more!

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Thanks very much to Burbed reader nomadic for this rather intriguing high-price, low-photo listing in Los Gatos!

 

14880 LAS FLORES Ln, Los Gatos, CA 95032
$2,200,000

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 4
SQ. FT.: 4,428
$/SQ. FT.: $497
LOT SIZE: 1 Acre
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Mediterranean
STORIES: 2
VIEW: Mountains, Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 2003
COMMUNITY: Los Gatos/Monte Sereno
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81141712
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Pending With Release
ON REDFIN: 4 days

country location four bedrooms and four baths three car garage huge yard great for family and kids

Here’s why nomadic thought you’d like to see this house:

• Weird history
• $3.4M in loans
• Short sale listed at $2.2M
• Last “sold” in 2010 for $600k

Let’s have a look at that history.

What? No previous foreclosures?  No “not an arms-length transaction”? The seller isn’t a licensed real estate agent?  It wasn’t sold in 2006 for twice the asking price?  The Zillow history makes the above look a little stranger.  Note the July, 2010 sale.

And $3.4 million in loans on the house sounds like something straight from Irvine Housing Blog.  But here’s something you won’t see on IHB:

Yes, that’s this house in Google Streetview plus Burbed KawlumVision.  No wonder the place went pending in only 4 days.  I’m sure the bank will rush that offer right on through.

I read a lot of real estate sites in order to bring you Burbed-worthy features.  Recently, I found an agent’s special “Astonishing Homes” page that looked absolutely scrumptious.  Plenty of seven and even eight-figure high-end properties on acres of land with great schools.

Now I know absolutely nothing about this particular agent, but all these homes were on MLS. Member agents can detail any MLS listings in their region, and Sophia Delacotte put together a webpage with nicer luxury properties for people to get some real estate pr0n action.  But something was amiss when I took a closer look at the actual listings.

With ten different houses, that’s ten front facades and ten sets of details.  I have all that waiting for you inside, but before you join me, make your prediction how many of these ten estate properties:

• Sold (pending within 7 days)
• Sold (pending within 30 days)
• Sold in a longer timeframe
• Are still active on MLS
• Had their listing withdrawn
• Had a price reduction at some point

For “bunus” yucks, guess how many of these ten estate homes have marble columns.

Got your guesses ready?  Good.  Now, let’s see these Astonishing Homes and find out if you’re as Astonished as I was.

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