Let’s start the week with another drop-dead multimillion dollar property in San Jose. Wait, um, San Jose?

1631 UNIVERSITY Way
San Jose, CA 95126
$3,595,000

5 Beds
4.5 Baths
5,959 Sq. Ft.
$603 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1951
Lot Size: 0.48 Acres
On Redfin: 2 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 2
County: Santa Clara
Style: Traditional
Community: Central San Jose MLS#: 81315965

UNPRECEDENTED LOCATION & STYLE IN PREMIER ROSEGARDEN NEIGHBORHOOD~THIS HOME WILL TAKE YOUR BREATH AWAY~DESIGNED & REMODELED BY DEMATTEI WITH AWARD WINNING ARCHITECTUAL DETAILS & DESIGN~UNPARALLED INDOOR OUTDOOR LIVING~POOL, CABANA, SPORT COURT~COVERED LOGGIA, OUTDOOR KITCHEN, FLAGSTONE PATIOS & WALKWAYS. IMMERSE YOURSELF IN LUXURY. YOU TRULY FEEL LIKE YOU ARE IN A RESORT~PERFECT ENTERTAINER’S PROPERTY.

Are three and a half million dollar luxury homes in San Jose now a thing? This isn’t anywhere near Google. But at least we get to break out the Red Arrow Kit again.

Also, this house has earned the Burbed Jackson Pollock Photography Award (and good on you if you already knew that Pollock was not known for shutterbugging) for Hitting the Dial Religiously.

It’s been far too long since we’ve heard from one of our favorite correspondents from the East Bay, Burbed reader A Lewis.  A (he says we can still call him A) writes in to let us know that there is still real estate worth following in his favorite city of El Cerrito. Let’s have a look and listen in.

6332 Barrett
El Cerrito, CA 94530
Sold for $1,200,000

3 Beds
2.5 Baths
3,441 Sq. Ft.
$349 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1941
Lot Size: 0.54 Acres
Sold On: Apr 19, 2013
Type: Detached
Stories: 2
County: Contra Costa
Style: Colonial
Community: Miravista Highls
MLS#: 40608299

a classic Colonial Revival on a 1/2 acre estate. Custom built with lavish attention to detail. Features include a 2 story tall portico at the entrance a wide spiral staircase to the upper floor inside, and fabulous access to patios and gardens from various entry level rooms. Ideal for entertaining

Take it away, A!

Update 6:45 pm: A says it’s fine to include the following graf that we thought was social chitchat just for us.

** Sorry I abandoned the site – but I’ve been priced out forever, and Real Estater was right about the stock market, so I just had to admit my own limitations and tried to spend time thinking about things besides real estate. I’m still a renter. But I can’t stop myself from occasionally looking at Redfin in my neighborhood, which you will recall is the hills of El Cerrito – 94530 baby! **

Here’s a house I know that tried to sell in 2008 for $1.2M, failed pitifully because of the ‘crash’, but they waited it out, and lo and behold, they got their price last week! And I wanted to share the listing because the first pick has 6, yes 6 columns showing!

So in my mind, prices in the hills of El Cerrito are back to peak levels, and appear to be rising.

I don’t know if that qualifies us for RBA status, but we seem to be back to where we were in 2007 (oh, except for having about 25% of the inventory), a crazed over-bidding environment on places that need a lot of work. People writing letters with their offers to beg for the privilege of buying with no contingencies, etc…

I guess another difference is how much buying is all-cash – in 2007, I think there was a lot more leveraging.

It’s a great time to sell a house, that’s for sure. But I can’t afford to buy one – oh well! I’d say I missed my chance, which was about Q1 2012, but prices hadn’t dropped enough for me to afford things even then.

Maybe the next crash will be harder. Maybe not – I bought a lotto ticket last month as an alternative way to solve the problem…

Looking at how bekawlumned this house is, we don’t understand why A didn’t sell every vehicle, video, and spare family members to own this house. Every bedroom just screams, “Oh my God, I live here!”  Why this is almost as impressive as what you can get in Palo Alto for a similar asking price.

Can you imagine what you’d have to pay for kawlums in The Real Bay Area?

Just because we’re doing the Blogging from A to Z Challenge doesn’t mean we Have to Hold off our Hallowed Habits. One of them is that we welcome contributions from our readers. Heck, we Harangue our readers if they don’t play along. So, today we are Heaving up another letter of the alphabet, and Having a different poster Handle it.

We Hope you enjoy today’s Happening post from Burbed reader bublidoo!  Please give bublidoo a Healthy, Hot Real Bay Area Homecoming with today’s Holy $#*@! House.

1161 Highland Ter
Fremont, CA 94539
$5,493,000

6 Beds
9.5 Baths
9,967 Sq. Ft.
$551 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2009
Lot Size: 1.64 Acres
On Redfin: 79 days
Type: Detached
Stories 2
Community: Mission
MLS#: 40601026
Style: Custom
View: Bay, City Lights, Hills, Panoramic, Pasture, Ridge, San Francisco, Water
County: Alameda

Panoramic View, Custom Home, Like Living in Taj Mahal, Elevator, 6 Bedrooms-9.5 Bathrooms, Banquet Hall w/ Stage-Seat over 100, All Bedrooms have Full Bathrooms, $150,000 /Crystal Lights and Chandeliers, Stainless Steel Garage & Exterior Doors, Credit Available for Personalizing Your Finishing Touch.

Let’s Hear from bublidoo Her/Himself!

Figured eventually you’ll get to H.

This has got to be the butt-ugliest way to spend nearly 5.5 Million bucks. HDR [check] Cawlumns [check]. Granite on the wall [check]. More bathrooms than bedrooms [check] "Living like in Taj Mahal" [check]. Yeah, that’s right … sooooo much bling it makes a baroque castle look sparse.

But the HDR … OMG, the HDR! The first pic … OMG, seriously, I thought it’s so synthetic looking it must be from a first person shooter or something. This has gotta be the highest DR evar.

More pictures Here, because you gotta Have some kawlums!

Most of our submissions come to us via email (contact info available in the upper right hand column).  Today’s featured fortress, from the wilds of San Jose Country Club near Santa Teresa del Fuego, was passed on to us via the Bat Signal. A Redfin Forums reader started a new thread and suggested that this home ought to join the Real Bay Area Is Awesome article, better known as What Can You Buy In The Bay Area for $3.3 million?  Well, let’s find out, courtesy of Burbed Reader HomeBuyer25!

5752 COUNTRY CLUB Pkwy
San Jose, CA 95138
$3,350,000

HOA Dues: $120/mo.
7 Beds
8.5 Baths
13,100 Sq. Ft.
$256 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2006
Lot Size: 0.53 Acres
On Redfin: 1 day
Status: Active
HOA Dues: $120/month
Style: Mediterranean
View: Bay, Green Belt, Mountains, Canyon, Neighborhood, Valley, City Lights, Golf Course
County: Santa Clara
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 3
Community: Evergreen
MLS#: 81309594

Prestigious Silver Creek Valley Country Club! Premium oversized parcel 23,140 sq. ft. featuring 13,100 s. f. residence w/ separate full guest quarters. Space for 7-14 vehicles, weight room, full basement, extra rooms for storage, dance or artist’s studio, wine cellar, bowling alley, wrestling etc. Amenities include radiant heated marble slab floors, 22 ft foyer, gym & theatre, 600 amp panel etc.

600 amp panel? Sold!  And that’s just for starters!

Because you know what else this place has? Elegance! Prestige! Why it’s boisting wit’ klayuss! Why? Kawlums!  Everything’s better with kawlums!

Although, not so fast. A look at the property history suggests this place has been on the market a lot more than one day. Or one time.  Take a look at the death throes of someone’s dream:

Hey, the price has been going back up for almost a year! Even the short sales show that Bay Area Bubble 4.0 is firmly inflated!  Blurry pictures, Christmas at Easter, more than a 50% haircut with amazing price history going back six years, and if you spent this much money in Palo Alto, there wouldn’t be a kawlum in sight!

Is that #winning or what?

Now, everyone submit your best prediction on what will be the winning overbid!

As promised, today we’ve got pictures, pictures, pictures from our onsite visit to Steve Wozniak’s old digs. We’ve already featured this house three times, so we’ll just stick to what we found at the Open House this Sunday.  And of course, here’s the listing again.  Note that if you missed it, you have another chance to check it out. On Easter Sunday.

300 SANTA ROSA Dr
Los Gatos, CA 95032
$4,395,000

6 Beds
7 Baths
7,500 Sq. Ft.
$586 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1986
Lot Size: 1.19 Acres
On Redfin: 12 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: Tri-Level
Community: Los Gatos/Monte Sereno
MLS#: 81307599
Style: Modern/High Tech, Contemporary
View: Mountains, Canyon, Valley
County: Santa Clara

Originally built for Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak, This exquisite 7500 sq/ft, 6 Bed, 8 Bath on 1.19 acres, minutes to Los Gatos Blvd, combines post-modern style with majestic natural views. It is a natural abode full of light and warmth Euro chefs kitchen, wraparound terraces. Recent major re-design and renovation, one of a kind indoor/outdoor kids play area, pool w/ waterfall, Koi Pond +++.

Upcoming Open Houses

Sunday, Mar 31: 1:00-4:30 pm

And now for what we discovered!  First, the minute we walked in, we were stunned to see that the place was set up like an art gallery. This was a surprise for a couple of reasons. First, Open Houses are there to showcase the real estate, not the décor, and second, the comments on several of the stories we linked to on Sunday implied that the listing photos were a little, um, minimalist.  Which is a fancy way of saying lots of white paint and little else.

It turned out that not only were most of the sculpture and paintings in the house labeled as if we were in a gallery, they were for sale and the painter and her daughter were there to talk to any interested patrons. The sculptor was her mother (not present). The least we could do is link to their website and show a couple more works of art. Then we could remember that we’re a real estate site, not a fine arts portfolio. And then we could not say anything about the art as our readers excel at critical commentary.  Especially the critical part.

You can check out the listing photos if you want to see the major public rooms and some shots from the master suite. We’re going to show you what they didn’t.  On your left is detail from the music room, and we don’t think this is where they invited the string quartets to play Mozart.  Also the agent helpfully pointed out that this counts as a bedroom, as it has a closet.  The doorway on your right is off the music room and leads to one of a large number of baths.  We’ll get back to them later.

Those baths, the kids’ secret playspace, the cave, and much more await when you click on through!

(more…)

Decor is an important part of getting a house ready for sale.  Decor isn’t just furnishings, but wall treatments, art, floor materials, paint, and of course, tchotchkes.  Today’s featured find is furnished fully with an eye for consistency.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader wahnny for this crib in Campbell!

1105 AUDREY Ave
Campbell, CA 95008
$1,699,000

4 Beds 
3.5 Baths 
4,137 Sq. Ft.
$411 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2005 
Lot Size: 0.25 Acres 
On Redfin: 7 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 2
County: Santa Clara
Style: Mediterranean
Community: Campbell
MLS#: 81300771

Regular Sale! An entertainer’s Spanish style dream home! This house has it all and you must see to appreciate the attention to detail in this custom beauty by Jay Andre Construction. This home has been totally rebuilt in 2005 with countless amenities. 2 spa/saunas, luxurious office, a gourmet kitchen w/ granite counter tops, tile, and hardwood floors. Too many to list! Open House 1/12 & 1/13 1-3PM

Over 4,000 square feet and the photographer remembered to water the driveway before taking pictures!  Either that or that moody sky had plenty of rain.  Now let’s hear from wahnny on why this house is so Special.

Recently came across this lavishly adorned villa in the middla Campbell.

Almost every photo shows the house in various shades of brown (in keeping with the spanish colonial/western/desert theme, no doubt).  And talk about sophistication … in addition to the obligatory “kawlumns”, a variety of plumbing fixtures are included (see tour website for photos)!  Very elegans/earthy!

Location/neighbors aside, it’s probably worth at least the asking price!

At least worth the asking price?  Oh no, in the time since wahnny sent this listing in, we are sure that this property has probably increased at least 15% over the asking price.

After all, this is a Regular Sale!  And nothing says “dream home” like having to reassure buyers that the house isn’t an REO or short sale!

But what about the location and the neighbors?  With a quarter acre lot, why would you worry about neighbors?  You’ve got enough room to dig a moat and put in Rottweilers.

Although the next-door neighbor does seem to have more cars than driveway.  For $1.7 million one would expect the neighbors to collect something less intrusive yet more expensive, such as Facebook put options.

Must see to appreciate!

Happy Friday!  Let’s finish out the week with a super structure in Saratoga, courtesy of Burbed reader wahnny!  And break out the red arrows, because we’re hunting mawbul kawlums!

15181 BELLECOURT Ave
Saratoga, CA 95070
$6,000,000

5 Beds 
5.5 Baths 
6,600 Sq. Ft.
$909 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2003 
Lot Size: 1.02 Acres 
On Redfin: 10 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
County: Santa Clara
Style: French
Community: Saratoga
MLS#: 81236964

This unbelvble Gorgeous French Style Masterpiece Estate is spanned graciously on one level. Magestic & quality craftd, combind w/ architctural excellnce. Nestld in most desirble & prestigious area of SAR * Situatd on a Flat Acr+, * Guest Hse * amazing Media Rm/cinema * Game Rm * Exercise Rm w/ steam showr * 2Family Rms/wings * invitng grounds w/ Pool & Spa perfect4 entertainng * Orchrd * Nr downtwn-sar schls-Not a cornr lot

Was this house listed on Twitter before they put it on MLS?  With 6600 square feet of living space, certainly the broker could make room to stage some more vowels.

Now heeeeeeeeeere’s wahnny on why this wigwam’s a winner!

It’s been a while since multimillion+ RBA houses were featured on Burbed, but I just came across one that seems to go overboard in its ostentatiousness.

The house looks like an ad-hoc mishmash of architectural styles, with each room having different themes, some with painted ceilings, and of course, mawbul kawlums galore!

Curious who the seller/realtor thinks will be attracted to such a place, especially at their asking price.

We’re curious how high the overbidding on this kawlumned kastle will be when it’s so unbelvble.  We’ve included some more pictures for your perusal in case you doubt its awesomitude.  But we’re thinking of calling shenanigans on the home theater.  Either every high-end installation looks and photographs exactly the same, or the picture’s been nicked from another listing.

Bunus: See if you can figure out how this one acre property on the corner of Bellecourt and Highway 9 is not a cornr lot.

9:50 AM: See end for update.  It’s worth it.
12:09 PM: Another update on the other murder.

It’s time to play Build a Ginormous House Somewhere Not As Expensive As The Real Bay Area and then try to find a buyer! Ready?  It’s Burbed reader J from Alameda‘s turn with this lovely Lafayette listing.

1901 HUNSAKER CANYON Rd
Lafayette, CA 94549
$1,998,000

4 Beds
3.5 Baths
6,200 Sq. Ft.
$322 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2003
Lot Size: 13.50 Acres
On Redfin: 39 days
Type: Detached
Stories: 3+
Community: Burton Valley
MLS#: 40587017
Style: Other
View: Canyon, Carquinez, City Lights, Forest, Hills, Mountains, Mt. Diablo, Valley
County: Contra Costa

WOW! $1+M price reduction! What a buy!! 13+- acres. Gated 360% View! Italian Villa/ stone, hardwood fls, custom & antique lighting. Finest materials including stone, hardwood, beautiful moldings and mllwork. Sunrise and Sunset included ! Rm for pool tennis/guest house/vineyard. PRICED TO SELL !!!

Here’s why J from A sent this in:

As promised, a lovely chateau – in the Lafayette hills. Of note: a million dollar price reduction, a reasonable $322 a square foot and lots of columns.

Somehow it seems that 3.5 bathrooms spread across 6,200 sq feet of living space is not quite the usual ratio – a new way to measure houses – bathrooms per square feet? I am sure the buyer will be happy to have an elevator to navigate all those stories. Enjoy!

You’re right, J. We’ve noted the business of beaucoup bathrooms in ginormous houses for people with too much money and not enough taste. No wonder this place had a million dollar price reduction.  According to the LA Times, this house needs at minimum 8 rooms for waste disposal and sluicing.

Good thing it was PRICED TO SELL !!! We’ve seen enough houses that were priced to stay empty or priced to sit on the listing service for years and years.

Like, um, this house:

Even Zillow thinks the house is worth $2,169,784. Instant equity!  Ka-ching!

Update 9:50 AM: Burbed reader magdalena alerts us to this 2005 SF Chronicle article that specifically mentions the house.  In a this-would-never-be-believed-as-fiction tragedy, the wife of criminal defense lawyer Daniel Horowitz was murdered in “the entryway of the home.” Wikipedia says she was murdered in a mobile home on the property while their “dream house” was being completed.  The murder occurred four days after the beginning of a high-profile trial where Horowitz was defending Susan Polk, accused of killing her husband in their Orinda home. Horowitz had taken the case after Polk had fired her previous lawyers for encouraging her to plead insanity.

This led to a mistrial, but as Horowitz prepared for Polk’s second trial, she fired him, convinced that he had something to do with his wife’s murder.  16 year old Scott Dyleski was convicted of the murder; supposedly he intended to kill a neighbor who had run over his dog and went to the wrong house.  Polk’s story manages to get even more bizarre after Horowitz was fired (this Dateline NBC link confirms the mobile home claim from Wikipedia).

WOW!  Sunrise and sunset is just the entryway of what’s included with this house!

Update 12:09 PM: Murder kills home values as well as people.  Check out Susan Polk’s house.  We found a listing e-flyer, and Redfin has the price history:

Are you working three jobs, or one job for 140 hours a week, just so you can become a Real Bay Area homeowner?  This Labor Day, why not just win an RBA house instead?  Burbed reader Divasm informs us of a charity raffle where this Menlo Park house is first prize.  The raffle tickets are $150 each, and yes, there is a quantity discount.

First of all, does anyone know where this house actually is?  All the raffle site would say was “Central Menlo Park”  and “leisurely stroll to downtown.”  Perhaps one of our readers recognizes this 2006 Georgian joint.  Send it in and we’ll add more details about the home, but for now we’ll tell you it’s a 5 BR/5 BA and just under 5 thousand square feet (which means it missed it by that much on the ginormous tag) on a 10 thousand foot lot.  Plus the mawbul kawlums!

Second, did you know if you buy a raffle ticket like this, even though it’s for a legitimate charity, it is not tax-deductable? To be more specific, it is not tax-deductable unless you actually win something. Then you can offset the prize income with what you spent on the raffle tickets.

And finally, in trying (unsuccessfully) to locate the house, we came upon this older SF Gate story about house raffles.  It turns out that raffle prize homes are usually not claimed.  Winners usually prefer money instead of the house, so the first prize is not usually owned by the charity.  The actual owner usually leases it to the charity, with an option to buy should the winner prefer the house instead of the suitcase full of cash.

Why do winners prefer the money over the house?  If the prize is worth more than $5,000, get ready to fork over 25% of its value to the IRS.  So if you won this house, supposedly worth $4.1 million, you’d have an instant million dollar Federal tax bill before you can say “clear title.” 

But wait, there’s more!  Winning this house also means you’d have to pay closing costs.  And property taxes.  (That’s another $44,000, at least.)  And they’ll probably stick you for the transfer tax as well.

Now what would you pay?  Because if you don’t live in California, and you win a raffle like this from a California charity, then state income tax gets withheld off the top as well.  You’re supposed to pay it even if you do live here, but it won’t be withheld up front if you’re already an RBA resident.

So maybe you’re thinking, “Hey wait, I’m sitting in this non-RBA underwater house!  Why don’t I raffle it like these charities do?”  Sorry.  That’s illegal.  Private owners and commercial enterprises cannot run raffles.  Charities couldn’t either, until Prop 17 passed in 2000.  And the charity must register the raffle with the Attorney General’s office. 

Or maybe not.  The article is 3 years old, and there aren’t any raffle registrations beyond 2010 on the AG’s site.  With all those budget cuts, maybe you can get away with raffling your house after all!

And if not, enjoy your Labor Day.  We’ll be back tomorrow with more ridiculous realty.

Update: Thanks to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer, we now know where the house is! Thanks very much!

3 Patricia Pl
Menlo Park, CA 94025
$3,999,999; listing removed 7/1/12

Beds: 5
Baths: 5
Sqft: 4,961
Lot: 10,890 sq ft / 0.25 acres
Type: Single Family
Year built: 2006
Parking: Garage – Attached
Zestimate: $3,396,723
Rent Zestimate: $8,161/m

DELIGHTFUL PROPERTY ON A PERFECT MENLO PARK LOCATION: Elegant and classic home in prime Central Menlo Park- Built in 2006 5 Bedrooms / 5 Bathrooms on 4, 961 SqFt – Size Lot 10, 800 SqFt Three levels with 4 bedrooms on 2nd floor Media Room – Wine cellar – Exercise room – Office – Laundry Room 5th bedroom and bath on lower level Graceful circular staircase – Brazilian cherry floors – OPEN HOUSE SATRUDAY JUNE 9, 2012:1:30PM – 4:30PM

A little less than a year ago we found an agent website listing ten big, expensive properties in the Real Bay Area (well, most of them were in the RBA). We dug in deep to see how the very high end market was doing as it began the fourth year of a prolonged economic slowdown.  Burbed reader Robert Dow recently sent in a Los Altos Hills luxe listing, and sure enough, it was one of the ten featured fabulous freeholds.  So let’s dwell on these digs in more detail.  To the Batmobile!

27040 Old Trace Lane
Los Altos Hills, CA 94022
$19,880,000

6 beds
7 baths
14855 sqft
3 acres
1990 built
30 days on site
MLS# 81227454
Walk Score™ 23

Spectacular Estate situated on a Private Country Lane 3.39 acres (per prelim) Main House w/dramatic entrance salon, Library/Office, Family/Game Room, Theatre, Gentleman’s Bar, Exercise Room, Wine Cellar, Indoor Exercise Pool, attached 8-Car Garage, Generator, Well for irrigation. 2bd/2ba Guest House,Tennis Court pool and elevated spa; Terrace w/outdoor fireplace; firepit . Palo Alto schools

Here’s what Robert had to say when bringing this gem to our attention.

Saw this listing for a $19,880,000 home for sale. No idea if this a reasonable price, but the house is pretty spectacular. Is this the kind of listing you’re looking for or is there some other set of criteria? Thanks.

Who wants to tell Robert what the criteria are for a home to be featured on Burbed?  There are so many ways for RBA realty to win the Internet!  For example, this one’s got a MAWBUL KAWLUM even on the guest house porch!  And check out this “library,” where books are under glass.

Like any big, expensive, and mutli-acred mansion, it has a Virtual Tour.  Unlike most of them, it also has a Gentleman’s Bar (unclear if the strippers are included, consult agent for details before writing offer).  But most importantly, it has a history, although you’d never know that if you used the Estately page.

Fortunately, when we reviewed the Astonishing Webpage we filled in all those price reductions, so there’s not much more to add.  And Zillow has it all, anyway, even if Redfin and Estately used the memory hole (as well as the seller request to not link to its Zestimate of $17,227,396)

Listed: 3/17/2008 at $25,000,000
Price Increased: 4/26/2008 to $28,950,000 (+16%)
Price Reduced: 5/22/2008 to $25,000,000 (-13.6%)
Listing canceled: 9/20/2008
Relisted: 8/30/2010 – 12/27/2010 at $24,950,000 (-0.2%)
Relisted: 2/1/2011 – 7/11/2011 at $20,500,000 (-17.8%)
Relisted: 7/22/2012 at $19,880,000 (-3.0%)

Oh, about that Zestimate.  It’s 13.3% below today’s list price, which disappoints us.  We had a theory that the Zestimate for any large, custom, hard-to-price estate like this would be exactly 15% lower than the current asking price (and if you don’t believe us, go back to the Astonishing Webpage and check all ten of them).

Anyway, the hapless seller has been chasing the market down for more than FOUR YEARS.  At what point will their price cutting finally hit the market bouncing back up?  They have to get lucky this year, there’s a couple of 8s in the price now! Oh, wait.  Facebook isn’t going to save the RBA after all.  Never mind.