September 6, 2013

East San Jose Mawbul Kawlums! This house sits on a lot of square feet

Okay, East San Jose hills, but still! Oh my gawd who lives here, the POPE?  Thanks very much to Burbed reader TL in San Jose for sending in this feature that indicates what makes a joint classy. KAWLUMS!  Put some in your bedroom!

130905-chaboya-redfin4227 CHABOYA Ct
San Jose, CA 95148
$2,988,000

7 Beds
6.5 Baths
8,314 Sq. Ft.
$359 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1989
Lot Size: 3.40 Acres
On Redfin: 14 days
Status: Active


130905-chaboya-kawlums1

130905-chaboya-kawlums2Not only this mansion teeming with MAWBUL KAWLUMS, the listing isn’t full of much of anything. We didn’t forget the description; there isn’t any. Also missing are basic entry items such as the County, the house style, and how many stories in the building. But this agent doesn’t have any stories to tell. Instead, we’ll let the photos do all the talking.

We did find this description on MLSListings:

130905-chaboya-kawlums3*BREATHTAKING UNSURPASSED VIEWS OF SF BAY AREA, SILICON VALLEY, AND THE BEST SUNSETS IN THE AREA* 7 BEDROOMS* 6.5 BATHS*2 MASTER SUITES* 2 KITCHENS W/ S.S. APPLIANCES* EXTRA LARGE BUILT IN FRIDGE* GRANITE SLAB COUNTERS HUGE ENTERTAINMENT/BONUS AREA* UNPARALLELED CUSTOM FINISHES THROUGHOUT *HIGH CEILINGS* MARBLE FLOORS* DRAMATIC STAIRCASE* BASKETBALL CT* VINEYARD * SOLAR POOL* EXCELLENT SCHOOLS*

130905-chaboya-kawlums4Best of all, it links to a virtual tour with, we shit you not, 80 pictures.  Because the 25 on Redfin are obviously not enough. Also not enough are the missing description in Redfin and the ALL-CAPS one above. So we are delighted to share the one from the virtual tour as well, because it demonstrates the care and consideration taken with selling a three million dollar house.

130905-chaboya-description

It certainly does. 148,104 sure is a lot.

130905-chaboya-kawlums5130905-chaboya-kawlums6

Comments (8) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:02 am






August 19, 2013

Ginormous SJ house generates HEAVY AMOUNT OF PHONE CALLS

Tired of the poorly photographed crapboxen that are Burbed bread and butter? Today’s house is for you, if you can find it.This property is brought to you by Burbed reader wahnny. Thanks very much!

130818-calero-redfin21680 CALERO CREEK Ct
San Jose, CA 95120
$999,888

5 Beds
7 Baths
7,533 Sq. Ft.
$133 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2002
Lot Size: 3.10 Acres
On Redfin: 17 days
Status: Pending With Release
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 2
County: Santa Clara
Style: Traditional, Mediterranean
Community: Almaden Valley
MLS#: 81328031

Last "Open House Monday 8/12 this evening from 5-7:30pm. ELEGANT PALATIAL ESTATE, SITUATED ON 3.10 FLAT ACRES. THIS LUXURY CUSTOM HOME IS 10 YEARS YOUNG & BUILT W/ THE FINEST IMPORTED MATERIALS FROM AROUND THE WORLD. DUE TO HEAVY AMOUNT OF PHONE CALLS WE HAVE "FAQ WORD DOC" @ UR REQUEST W/ FULL DISCLOSURE LINK & HOME INSPECTIONS. VIRTUAL TOUR HAS 2 TOURS & BROKER TOUR VIDEO FROM 8/7/2013 ENJOY

130818-calero-theaterHere’s why wahnny sent in this particular place:

Just came across this quite georgious estate.

Asking price is WAY less than its assessed value.  Lotsa cauwlums and ornate finishings adorn the "10 YEARS YOUNG" 7500+sqft estate on 3+acres.  Aside from overhead powerlines, rather small pool, and location on the fringes of the RBA, it might still incite a bidding war, as per AGENT INTENT.

130818-calero-kawlumFringes of the Real Bay Area? Wahnny, this place isn’t even on the fringes of the Corridor of Not Quite. This house is firmly situated somewhere south of You Have Got To Be Kidding Me. The only advantage it has is that it’s only 22 miles to the Tesla Supercharging station in Gilroy.  And if you can buy a house this size for the price of a gingerbread shack in San Bruno, of course you should expect some mawbul kawlums thrown in.

130818-calero-thronePlus there is a virtual tour.  And a good thing there is, or we would never know that every office needs a throne.

As to that AGENT INTENT, here’s what the FAQ in the disclosures packet has to say about that asking price:

8. Why list so low?
Sellers are aware that neither appraisers, nor realtors determine what the VALUE or the final sales price of a home will be, it’s the BUYERS that determine the final price thus the new market value of the home.  They wanted to market and list their home non-traditional and something innovative that would attract plenty of interest and one good offer that had the best price and terms.

130818-calero-officeWait a minute, since when is announcing a day for offers to come in and picking the highest one considered “non-traditional”?  In the RBA this is de rigeur!

Bunus: Not only does this property have a “well lien” because of the 3 abandoned wells onsite (seller can’t find two of them), there’s also an HOA for shared roads with voting rights based on property size. This home has an effective veto over the other properties because any vote must pass by 75%.  So you could really make life interesting for four other homeowners!

ENJOY

Comments (3) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:06 am

July 18, 2013

Mawbul Kawlumz + Palo Alto + Short Sale + ??? = PROFIT!

Here’s a Palo Alto property that will be selling shortly. At least it would be if the agent hadn’t used such teeny tiny little listing photos.  Our thanks to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for alerting us to this winner. And you know by winner we actually mean something that rhymes with “snoozer.”

130718-laurel-redfin996 LAUREL GLEN Dr
Palo Alto, CA 94304
$5,500,000

8 Beds
8 Baths
7,456 Sq. Ft.
$738 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2007
Lot Size: 0.96 Acres
On Redfin: 913 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 2
Community: Palo Alto Hills
MLS#: 81102245
Style: French
View: Bay
County: Santa Clara

130718-laurel-kawlumsNewly constructed (2007), Neo-Classical estate next to the prestigious Palo Alto Hills golf course. Great for entertainment, featuring 8 bdrms and 8.5 bthrms, gourmet kitchen with custom wood cabinets and an island. Full basement with a media room, gym, wine cellar, library and nanny quarters. Majestic pool, with a hot tub and cabana.

 

130718-laurel-another-kawlumHere’s PG with an actual comment, for once:

I can’t believe this wasn’t featured already. Or did it become a short sale recently?

Recently? Sure, if “newly constructed” can mean a six year old house, why the heck not?  At least there are mawbul kawlumz on the inside too.  (Sorry no red arrows, the pictures are so small we’re worried they’d break.)

Also check out the listing history!

130718-laurel-listing-history

Price cuts, price increases, pending, relisted, this place has it all!  Even a bargain basement $720 back in 2011 during the slowdown!  All we can say for sure is based on this comment, whoever owns it was dealing with three other foreclosures a couple of years ago – ALL of them in Palo Alto.

Comments (10) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:02 am

June 29, 2013

You know what they got? KAWLUMS

It’s been a while since we’ve been sent a MAWBUL KAWLUM heavy house. We miss them so much we were forced to present this one from (gasp) Southern California.

Good thing we just reordered red arrows.

130628-buggy-kawlums

The house itself is hideously overdone in Middle-Aged Movie Executive With Unlimited Budget, including the kawlum-bedecked indoor tennis court that meets US Open requirements. And no, we aren’t kidding. 

130628-buggy-tennis

We didn’t even know there was a standard for kawlums at the US Open.

Let us know if any US Open Houses you tour this weekend have kawlums. Or tennis courts. Yes, this is your Weekend US Open Thread.

Comments (4) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:01 am

May 13, 2013

YOU TRULY FEEL LIKE YOU ARE IN A RESORT

Let’s start the week with another drop-dead multimillion dollar property in San Jose. Wait, um, San Jose?

130512-university-redfin1631 UNIVERSITY Way
San Jose, CA 95126
$3,595,000

5 Beds
4.5 Baths
5,959 Sq. Ft.
$603 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1951
Lot Size: 0.48 Acres
On Redfin: 2 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 2
County: Santa Clara
Style: Traditional
Community: Central San Jose MLS#: 81315965

UNPRECEDENTED LOCATION & STYLE IN PREMIER ROSEGARDEN NEIGHBORHOOD~THIS HOME WILL TAKE YOUR BREATH AWAY~DESIGNED & REMODELED BY DEMATTEI WITH AWARD WINNING ARCHITECTUAL DETAILS & DESIGN~UNPARALLED INDOOR OUTDOOR LIVING~POOL, CABANA, SPORT COURT~COVERED LOGGIA, OUTDOOR KITCHEN, FLAGSTONE PATIOS & WALKWAYS. IMMERSE YOURSELF IN LUXURY. YOU TRULY FEEL LIKE YOU ARE IN A RESORT~PERFECT ENTERTAINER’S PROPERTY.

130512-univeristy-kawlumsAre three and a half million dollar luxury homes in San Jose now a thing? This isn’t anywhere near Google. But at least we get to break out the Red Arrow Kit again.

Also, this house has earned the Burbed Jackson Pollock Photography Award (and good on you if you already knew that Pollock was not known for shutterbugging) for Hitting the Dial Religiously.

Comments (5) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:08 am

May 6, 2013

UPDATED: Kawlums! Mawbul kawlums! Git yer kawlums he-uh in El Cerrito!

It’s been far too long since we’ve heard from one of our favorite correspondents from the East Bay, Burbed reader A Lewis.  A (he says we can still call him A) writes in to let us know that there is still real estate worth following in his favorite city of El Cerrito. Let’s have a look and listen in.

130505-barrett-redfin6332 Barrett
El Cerrito, CA 94530
Sold for $1,200,000

3 Beds
2.5 Baths
3,441 Sq. Ft.
$349 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1941
Lot Size: 0.54 Acres
Sold On: Apr 19, 2013
Type: Detached
Stories: 2
County: Contra Costa
Style: Colonial
Community: Miravista Highls
MLS#: 40608299

a classic Colonial Revival on a 1/2 acre estate. Custom built with lavish attention to detail. Features include a 2 story tall portico at the entrance a wide spiral staircase to the upper floor inside, and fabulous access to patios and gardens from various entry level rooms. Ideal for entertaining

130505-barrett-windowTake it away, A!

Update 6:45 pm: A says it’s fine to include the following graf that we thought was social chitchat just for us.

** Sorry I abandoned the site – but I’ve been priced out forever, and Real Estater was right about the stock market, so I just had to admit my own limitations and tried to spend time thinking about things besides real estate. I’m still a renter. But I can’t stop myself from occasionally looking at Redfin in my neighborhood, which you will recall is the hills of El Cerrito – 94530 baby! **

Here’s a house I know that tried to sell in 2008 for $1.2M, failed pitifully because of the ‘crash’, but they waited it out, and lo and behold, they got their price last week! And I wanted to share the listing because the first pick has 6, yes 6 columns showing!

130505-barrett-2windowsSo in my mind, prices in the hills of El Cerrito are back to peak levels, and appear to be rising.

I don’t know if that qualifies us for RBA status, but we seem to be back to where we were in 2007 (oh, except for having about 25% of the inventory), a crazed over-bidding environment on places that need a lot of work. People writing letters with their offers to beg for the privilege of buying with no contingencies, etc…

I guess another difference is how much buying is all-cash – in 2007, I think there was a lot more leveraging.

130505-barrett-anotherviewIt’s a great time to sell a house, that’s for sure. But I can’t afford to buy one – oh well! I’d say I missed my chance, which was about Q1 2012, but prices hadn’t dropped enough for me to afford things even then.

Maybe the next crash will be harder. Maybe not – I bought a lotto ticket last month as an alternative way to solve the problem…

Looking at how bekawlumned this house is, we don’t understand why A didn’t sell every vehicle, video, and spare family members to own this house. Every bedroom just screams, “Oh my God, I live here!”  Why this is almost as impressive as what you can get in Palo Alto for a similar asking price.

Can you imagine what you’d have to pay for kawlums in The Real Bay Area?

Comments (4) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:07 am

April 9, 2013

Highland Hits the Highest Hella Heights!

BlogAtoZ-HJust because we’re doing the Blogging from A to Z Challenge doesn’t mean we Have to Hold off our Hallowed Habits. One of them is that we welcome contributions from our readers. Heck, we Harangue our readers if they don’t play along. So, today we are Heaving up another letter of the alphabet, and Having a different poster Handle it.

We Hope you enjoy today’s Happening post from Burbed reader bublidoo!  Please give bublidoo a Healthy, Hot Real Bay Area Homecoming with today’s Holy $#*@! House.

130408-highland-redfin1161 Highland Ter
Fremont, CA 94539
$5,493,000

6 Beds
9.5 Baths
9,967 Sq. Ft.
$551 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2009
Lot Size: 1.64 Acres
On Redfin: 79 days
Type: Detached
Stories 2
Community: Mission
MLS#: 40601026
Style: Custom
View: Bay, City Lights, Hills, Panoramic, Pasture, Ridge, San Francisco, Water
County: Alameda

Panoramic View, Custom Home, Like Living in Taj Mahal, Elevator, 6 Bedrooms-9.5 Bathrooms, Banquet Hall w/ Stage-Seat over 100, All Bedrooms have Full Bathrooms, $150,000 /Crystal Lights and Chandeliers, Stainless Steel Garage & Exterior Doors, Credit Available for Personalizing Your Finishing Touch.

130408-highland-powderLet’s Hear from bublidoo Her/Himself!

Figured eventually you’ll get to H. :-)

This has got to be the butt-ugliest way to spend nearly 5.5 Million bucks. HDR [check] Cawlumns [check]. Granite on the wall [check]. More bathrooms than 130408-highland-fountainbedrooms [check] "Living like in Taj Mahal" [check]. Yeah, that’s right … sooooo much bling it makes a baroque castle look sparse.

But the HDR … OMG, the HDR! The first pic … OMG, seriously, I thought it’s so synthetic looking it must be from a first person shooter or something. This has gotta be the highest DR evar.

More pictures Here, because you gotta Have some kawlums!

130408-highland-kitchen130408-highland-pink130408-highland-columns130408-highland-columns2

Comments (11) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:06 am

March 28, 2013

Space for 7-14 vehicles, dance or artist’s studio, bowling alley, wrestling etc.

Most of our submissions come to us via email (contact info available in the upper right hand column).  Today’s featured fortress, from the wilds of San Jose Country Club near Santa Teresa del Fuego, was passed on to us via the Bat Signal. A Redfin Forums reader started a new thread and suggested that this home ought to join the Real Bay Area Is Awesome article, better known as What Can You Buy In The Bay Area for $3.3 million?  Well, let’s find out, courtesy of Burbed Reader HomeBuyer25!

130327-country-redfin5752 COUNTRY CLUB Pkwy
San Jose, CA 95138
$3,350,000

HOA Dues: $120/mo.
7 Beds
8.5 Baths
13,100 Sq. Ft.
$256 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2006
Lot Size: 0.53 Acres
On Redfin: 1 day
Status: Active
HOA Dues: $120/month
Style: Mediterranean
View: Bay, Green Belt, Mountains, Canyon, Neighborhood, Valley, City Lights, Golf Course
County: Santa Clara
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 3
Community: Evergreen
MLS#: 81309594130327-country-xmas

Prestigious Silver Creek Valley Country Club! Premium oversized parcel 23,140 sq. ft. featuring 13,100 s. f. residence w/ separate full guest quarters. Space for 7-14 vehicles, weight room, full basement, extra rooms for storage, dance or artist’s studio, wine cellar, bowling alley, wrestling etc. Amenities include radiant heated marble slab floors, 22 ft foyer, gym & theatre, 600 amp panel etc.

130327-country-kawlums600 amp panel? Sold!  And that’s just for starters!

Because you know what else this place has? Elegance! Prestige! Why it’s boisting wit’ klayuss! Why? Kawlums!  Everything’s better with kawlums!

Although, not so fast. A look at the property history suggests this place has been on the market a lot more than one day. Or one time.  Take a look at the death throes of someone’s dream:

130327-country-history

130327-country-kawlums2Hey, the price has been going back up for almost a year! Even the short sales show that Bay Area Bubble 4.0 is firmly inflated!  Blurry pictures, Christmas at Easter, more than a 50% haircut with amazing price history going back six years, and if you spent this much money in Palo Alto, there wouldn’t be a kawlum in sight!

Is that #winning or what?

Now, everyone submit your best prediction on what will be the winning overbid!

Comments (14) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:01 am

March 26, 2013

Photopalooza at Wiz Wigwam that Was Woz’s

As promised, today we’ve got pictures, pictures, pictures from our onsite visit to Steve Wozniak’s old digs. We’ve already featured this house three times, so we’ll just stick to what we found at the Open House this Sunday.  And of course, here’s the listing again.  Note that if you missed it, you have another chance to check it out. On Easter Sunday.

130323-wozhouse-redfin300 SANTA ROSA Dr
Los Gatos, CA 95032
$4,395,000

6 Beds
7 Baths
7,500 Sq. Ft.
$586 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1986
Lot Size: 1.19 Acres
On Redfin: 12 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: Tri-Level
Community: Los Gatos/Monte Sereno
MLS#: 81307599
Style: Modern/High Tech, Contemporary
View: Mountains, Canyon, Valley
County: Santa Clara

Originally built for Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak, This exquisite 7500 sq/ft, 6 Bed, 8 Bath on 1.19 acres, minutes to Los Gatos Blvd, combines post-modern style with majestic natural views. It is a natural abode full of light and warmth Euro chefs kitchen, wraparound terraces. Recent major re-design and renovation, one of a kind indoor/outdoor kids play area, pool w/ waterfall, Koi Pond +++.

Upcoming Open Houses

Sunday, Mar 31: 1:00-4:30 pm

130325-wozon-sculp4saleAnd now for what we discovered!  First, the minute we walked in, we were stunned to see that the place was set up like an art gallery. This was a surprise for a couple of reasons. First, Open Houses are there to showcase the real estate, not the décor, and second, the comments on several of the stories we linked to on Sunday implied that the listing photos were a little, um, minimalist.  Which is a fancy way of saying lots of white paint and little else.

It turned out that not only were most of the sculpture and paintings in the house labeled as if we were in a gallery, they were for sale and the painter and her daughter were there to talk to any interested patrons. The sculptor was her mother (not present). The least we could do is link to their website and show a couple more works of art. Then we could remember that we’re a real estate site, not a fine arts portfolio. And then we could not say anything about the art as our readers excel at critical commentary.  Especially the critical part.

130325-wozon-painting4sale130325-wozon-painter

130325-wozon-music130325-wozon-doorwayYou can check out the listing photos if you want to see the major public rooms and some shots from the master suite. We’re going to show you what they didn’t.  On your left is detail from the music room, and we don’t think this is where they invited the string quartets to play Mozart.  Also the agent helpfully pointed out that this counts as a bedroom, as it has a closet.  The doorway on your right is off the music room and leads to one of a large number of baths.  We’ll get back to them later.

Those baths, the kids’ secret playspace, the cave, and much more await when you click on through!

(more…)

Comments (6) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:01 am

January 17, 2013

50 Shades of Brown in Campbell

Decor is an important part of getting a house ready for sale.  Decor isn’t just furnishings, but wall treatments, art, floor materials, paint, and of course, tchotchkes.  Today’s featured find is furnished fully with an eye for consistency.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader wahnny for this crib in Campbell!

130116-audrey-redfin1105 AUDREY Ave
Campbell, CA 95008
$1,699,000

4 Beds 
3.5 Baths 
4,137 Sq. Ft.
$411 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2005 
Lot Size: 0.25 Acres 
On Redfin: 7 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 2
County: Santa Clara
Style: Mediterranean
Community: Campbell
MLS#: 81300771

Regular Sale! An entertainer’s Spanish style dream home! This house has it all and you must see to appreciate the attention to detail in this custom beauty by Jay Andre Construction. This home has been totally rebuilt in 2005 with countless amenities. 2 spa/saunas, luxurious office, a gourmet kitchen w/ granite counter tops, tile, and hardwood floors. Too many to list! Open House 1/12 & 1/13 1-3PM

Over 4,000 square feet and the photographer remembered to water the driveway before taking pictures!  Either that or that moody sky had plenty of rain.  Now let’s hear from wahnny on why this house is so Special.

130116-audrey-officeRecently came across this lavishly adorned villa in the middla Campbell.

Almost every photo shows the house in various shades of brown (in keeping with the spanish colonial/western/desert theme, no doubt).  And talk about sophistication … in addition to the obligatory “kawlumns”, a variety of plumbing fixtures are included (see tour website for photos)!  Very elegans/earthy!

Location/neighbors aside, it’s probably worth at least the asking price!

130116-audrey-kawlums

At least worth the asking price?  Oh no, in the time since wahnny sent this listing in, we are sure that this property has probably increased at least 15% over the asking price.

After all, this is a Regular Sale!  And nothing says “dream home” like having to reassure buyers that the house isn’t an REO or short sale!

But what about the location and the neighbors?  With a quarter acre lot, why would you worry about neighbors?  You’ve got enough room to dig a moat and put in Rottweilers.

Although the next-door neighbor does seem to have more cars than driveway.  For $1.7 million one would expect the neighbors to collect something less intrusive yet more expensive, such as Facebook put options.

130116-audrey-streetview

Must see to appreciate!

Comments (9) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:05 am