Just because we’re looking at the best possible DEALS doesn’t mean we can’t look at homes all over the price map.  For example, when you hear about places with asking prices over a million and a half, you’re thinking they’ve got to be in the Real Bay Area.  But here on Burbed, we know that $1.5 million dollar homes can be found anywhere, because that’s what it means to have a Free Market!  You are Free to ask any price you choose for your house, and everyone else is Free to tell you what they think of your brilliant idea.

Thanks very much to Burbed reader Tracy for this find in the beautiful Berryessa bivouac.

15292 CAMELOT Dr, San Jose, CA 95132
$1,588,800

BEDS: 5
BATHS: 5.5
SQ. FT.: 4,787
$/SQ. FT.: $332
LOT SIZE: 1.21 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 2
YEAR BUILT: 1994
COMMUNITY: Berryessa
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81147474
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 13 days

BEAUTIFUL ESTATE IN BEST LOCATION IN NORTH SAN JOSE BERRYESSA HILLS * HOME HAS A LARGE LOT OVER 1.25 ACRES – FULLY LANDSCAPE WITH FULL SIZE TENNIS COURT HOLLYWOOD CIRCULAR DRIVEWAY * PRIVATE GATE * HOME PACKED WITH BEAUTIFUL FEATURES FROM HARDWOOD FLOOR * ROMAN COLUMNS * MARBLE * LUXURIOUS BATHROOMS * CROWN MOLDING IMPRESSIVE STAIRCASE AND MUCH MORE

This house may not have a LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION in one of the Five Hundred Most Expensive Zip Codes, but it has something even better.  Dat’s right!  Mawbul Kawlums!

Too bad this house is on Camelot Drive.  With all these columns it really ought to be on Great Caesar’s Ghost Circle, or perhaps Cassius Clay Court.  Or maybe Camelot drive symbolizes the power of wishing prices.  But then you have to worry about Mordred plotting against you behind the FULL SIZE TENNIS COURT HOLLYWOOD CIRCULAR DRIVEWAY.

And if you are wondering about the agent’s interesting approach toward the English language, Tracy sent me the listing copy from when the home was on the market before.  (And it’s been listed three other times.  According to Zillow the previous listing was for $1,788,950.)

Welcome to this elegant custom-built mansion. The immense formal entry will open to a colossal foyer which embraces any large social gatherings. A Sierra Heights Estate with balconies that overlook the spectacular city light, mountain, and valley views. Many Elegant Upgrades throughout the floor plan reveals the premium value of this home. 4-CAR Garage and many GUESS PARKING SPACES.

I don’t know, how many parking spaces would that be?  Lucky eight?

This San Francisco house was briefly mentioned in the zip code series this past weekend, and really deserves an appearance of its own.  It’s not just a really expensive house in San Francisco, it looks like it comes with a huge number of challenges opportunities waiting to happen!

2250 Vallejo St, San Francisco, CA 94123
$7,950,000

BEDS: 0
BATHS: 12
SQ. FT.: -
LOT SIZE: -
PROPERTY TYPE: Single-Family Home
VIEW: Panoramic, Bay, Golden Gate Bridge
YEAR BUILT: 1902
COMMUNITY: Pacific Heights
COUNTY: San Francisco
MLS#: 390207
SOURCE: San Francisco MLS
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 50 days

Large, Italianate view mansion. Four floors of occupancy. Formerly occupied as 11 units and presently vacant. Conditional Use Authorization obtained in 2009 to merge 11 units to 2 units (home with apartment). Although most original details remain, the home requires extensive remodelling in order to enjoy the 2013 America’s Cup.

This looks like a house that needs an in-person visit, what with the MLS not specifying how large the house or the lot is, or showing very many pictures either.  When there are more snaps of the view than the house, you know it isn’t going to be “turnkey.”  Instead, get your work gloves ready, because you’ll be spending the next year and a half fixing up this place in order to enjoy the 2013 America’s Cup.

Wouldn’t it just be easier to watch it on television?

Anyway, the public records say the home is 7335 square feet on a 6187 sf lot.  No bedrooms but 12 bathrooms, formerly 11 units rented out.  Given how tight the rental market is in SF, how do you think the tenants were cleared out?  Arson?  Blackmail?  Cockroaches?  Dynamite?

Here’s a couple comments on this home from Socketsite, back in 2009 when another Pacific Heights home that had been chopped into apartments failed to sell and was withdrawn from the market.

Posted by: Jake at March 27, 2009 2:51 PM

This would have been a great house if left alone.
The problem is that there was a period from the
thirties to the fifties when large houses were treated as white elephants. Many of them have been returned to their architecturally natural use.

Including… I am pleased to report, the James Francis Dunn mansion on Vallejo, for which the Planning Commission, in a moment of unusual enlightenment, approved, Thursday, a “dwelling unit merger” of eleven to two units!

Hooray for common sense! Commissioner Borden observed that the purpose of denying mergers was to preserve affordable housing, and apartments on this street would not be affordable by any measure.
The building is owned by the Rossi family, who as they noted, contributed a Mayor to SF.

Posted by: Conifer at March 28, 2009 11:02 PM

Holy Crap! I can’t believe that unit merger went through! I thought it would be DOA so I never bothered to check the commission’s decision. It was absolutely the right decision. 2250 is arguably THE most beautiful home on Vallejo St and should never have been chopped up.

James Francis Dunn is not the owner but the architect of this house, and he designed a number of “French Renaissance” apartment buildings throughout San Francisco.  This book on Pacific Heights homes states that building an actual house was a departure for Dunn, and features this nice line drawing above.

The SF Chronicle article on Dunn’s designs describes this house in a footnote: “2250 Vallejo St., in Pacific Heights, originally a single-family house, is a playful take on Italian Renaissance with beautiful proportions and detailing.”

That’s a lot of Frenchified talk for what’s really important.  KAWLUMS!  And finding an agent who can’t spell remodeling but can walk you through an eight million dollar transaction.  Best of all, this “architectural pastry” has the icing on its street name: associated with a large, prolonged bankruptcy.

Yes, we’re back with Northern California places on the Forbes most expensive zip code list.  As you get ready for Thanksgiving, one thing you can give thanks for this Thursday is that this all-time favorite series (if by “favorite” I actually mean “causes excited readers to fling household appliances”) only runs on Sundays.  That means it’s at least another seven days until the next installment!  If you missed the last ones, you’ll want to catch up RIGHT AWAY so you are completely up on every aspect:

• Top 50 Most Expensive Zip Codes, RBA Edition
• Next 50 Most Expensive Zip Codes, Almost-RBA Edition
• Third Tier Realty: Zips 101-200 or I have a feeling we’re not in the RBA Anymore

Also, beginning Friday will be Burbed’s Black Friday Sales!  That’s where we scour the Real Bay Area in search of the best bargains out there for you.  While you may not be able to afford the most expensive house in the most expensive zip codes, maybe you can afford one on the other extreme!

And now, the Top 100 of the Bottom 300 Most Expensive Zip Codes in the Country: This is Fourth Tier: Under a Million Median Means Middleclass Metroplex.  Or the shorter version: Forbes screwed up again.

#212: Redwood City 94062

• Median Home Price: $998,975
• Median Price Change: -11.9% ⇓
• Average Days On Market: 200 118
• Inventory: 118 76
• Rank in 2010: #185 (-27 spots ⇓)
• Most Expensive Home: $3.6 Million $3.45 Million (610 Edgewood Road)

One of the few shared zips to survive Forbes and Altos Research’s data parsing, the most expensive zip in Redwood City is shared with tony Woodside, California.  But you won’t find movers and shakers like Larry Ellison in Redwood City.

What you will find is this house, complete with Mawbul Kawlums, at a Woodside Price on a busy arterial that feeds I-280!  The owners have been trying to sell it since 2009, no doubt because its neighborhood of “High School Acres” fails to evoke wealth, exclusivity, or prestige.  Maybe they should rename it “Prep School Prospects” and see if that does the trick.

More exciting Zip Code ZAwesomeness after the break!  More! More! More!

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What will it take to make the zip code series stop?  Lots and lots and lots of quality submissions!  So until you send in your best guest post EVEH, we’ll be running these wonderful lists and photos for the next few hundred Sundays or until we run out of data, by which time Forbes (if they’re still a going concern) will have the 2012 list ready.  But look on the bright side.  No more annoying maps like last year!

Today we look at all the Northern California entries in Forbes Most Expensive Zip Codes 2011: The Top 100 of the Bottom 400.

Previous entries in this year’s series:

• Top 50 Most Expensive Zip Codes, RBA Edition
• Next 50 Most Expensive Zip Codes, Almost-RBA Edition

Quick recap: Forbes messed up their data even worse than usual this year, plus many areas on last year’s list have completely disappeared without explanation.  We add in the comparison to last year’s rankings and find the “most expensive” house (if it’s findable) that Forbes mentions for each entry.  While Forbes doesn’t seem that interested in hearing from their readers (registration is required), Altos Research, who did the number-crunching, loves talking data.  They’ve responded to a couple of my concerns here.

Here we go, numbers 101-200, which are now under the Million and a Half Median!  How Low do we have to go to sink under a million?  Remember, this is the Third Tier, so Real Bay Area (RBA) bragging rights are gone (except for some exceptions).

#106: Alamo 94507

• Median Home Price: $1,396,000
• Median Price Change: -7.8% ⇓
• Average Days On Market: 200 134
• Inventory: 134 102
• Rank in 2010: #101 (-5 spots ⇓)
• Most Expensive Home: $11.8 Million (322 Lark Lane)

This high-end (for the East Bay) location south of Walnut Creek is stuck in atop the third tier right where it belongs, just a few spots above Newport Beach.  This luxury home that looks more like an administration building kind of says it all.  Free architectural clue: It’s the windows that make this place a façade fail.

A new $13.8 million property has come on the market since the Forbes article ran, and it has a more traditional (and attractive) look, in the classic “Let’s build a French country estate in Contra Costa County” style.

Plenty more to enjoy after the break!  In fact, we promise the very next one is a Burbed favorite, so click on through.

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We’ve spent too much time talking about Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg, so it’s time to show Larry Ellison a little Burbed love.  And why not, when you could be the next owner of this Woodside home he’s no longer using, since he’s too busy buying up every piece of lakefront property on Tahoe he can find.

 

1 TURKEY FARM Ln, Woodside, CA 94062
$19,000,000

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 3.5
SQ. FT.: 5,850
$/SQ. FT.: $3,248
LOT SIZE: 3.4 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Colonial
STORIES: 2
VIEW: Mountains, Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1968
COMMUNITY: Central Woodside
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81131446
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 109 days

Exclusive equestrian estate comprised of 2 parcels for total 6.88 acres – 1 Turkey Farm Lane & 125 Roberta. Private & secluded at the end of a cul-de-sac 1 Turkey Farm–Classic colonial 4bd/3.5ba home, pool house, pond-like pool with elevated spa, 125 Roberta–1bd/1ba guesthouse, beach volley ball court, ponds Equestrian facilities 5-stall barn on each property Western Hill View Woodside Elementary

I deliberately misled you by putting the last picture up on the Redfin overview shot.  That’s the guesthouse, or the equestrian facilities, or maybe both.  I used that shot because I thought Burbed readers really enjoy seeing the house in KawlumVision.

And if that isn’t worth $23 million $19 million, I don’t know what is.  Although it’s too bad you won’t have Larry as a neighbor if you buy here.  His Japanese castle is almost a mile away.  Neighbors love having Larry next door since he picks fights about things like tree heights and solves the problem by buying your house for $40 million.

Thanks very much to Burbed reader nomadic for this rather intriguing high-price, low-photo listing in Los Gatos!

 

14880 LAS FLORES Ln, Los Gatos, CA 95032
$2,200,000

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 4
SQ. FT.: 4,428
$/SQ. FT.: $497
LOT SIZE: 1 Acre
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Mediterranean
STORIES: 2
VIEW: Mountains, Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 2003
COMMUNITY: Los Gatos/Monte Sereno
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81141712
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Pending With Release
ON REDFIN: 4 days

country location four bedrooms and four baths three car garage huge yard great for family and kids

Here’s why nomadic thought you’d like to see this house:

• Weird history
• $3.4M in loans
• Short sale listed at $2.2M
• Last “sold” in 2010 for $600k

Let’s have a look at that history.

What? No previous foreclosures?  No “not an arms-length transaction”? The seller isn’t a licensed real estate agent?  It wasn’t sold in 2006 for twice the asking price?  The Zillow history makes the above look a little stranger.  Note the July, 2010 sale.

And $3.4 million in loans on the house sounds like something straight from Irvine Housing Blog.  But here’s something you won’t see on IHB:

Yes, that’s this house in Google Streetview plus Burbed KawlumVision.  No wonder the place went pending in only 4 days.  I’m sure the bank will rush that offer right on through.

I read a lot of real estate sites in order to bring you Burbed-worthy features.  Recently, I found an agent’s special “Astonishing Homes” page that looked absolutely scrumptious.  Plenty of seven and even eight-figure high-end properties on acres of land with great schools.

Now I know absolutely nothing about this particular agent, but all these homes were on MLS. Member agents can detail any MLS listings in their region, and Sophia Delacotte put together a webpage with nicer luxury properties for people to get some real estate pr0n action.  But something was amiss when I took a closer look at the actual listings.

With ten different houses, that’s ten front facades and ten sets of details.  I have all that waiting for you inside, but before you join me, make your prediction how many of these ten estate properties:

• Sold (pending within 7 days)
• Sold (pending within 30 days)
• Sold in a longer timeframe
• Are still active on MLS
• Had their listing withdrawn
• Had a price reduction at some point

For “bunus” yucks, guess how many of these ten estate homes have marble columns.

Got your guesses ready?  Good.  Now, let’s see these Astonishing Homes and find out if you’re as Astonished as I was.

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Thanks to Burbed reader Tracy for yet another fantastic listing.  This is one of those extra-special surprises, where somebody gives you a beautifully wrapped box.  Then, when you open it up, the gift inside is even better.  So first, here’s the presentation, where Tracy sent in this listing on Trulia:

Wait, didn’t Tracy already send us a house where the whole world was tilting?  Looks like it happened again. And check out the rest of the photos!

You know, if they hadn’t included the first and last ones, I would have asked where they even found a camera with 60 x 36 resolution!

Anyway, I did a drive-by on Redfin to see if the pictures were just as bad inspired over there, and we hit the jackpot!  Check out much, much more after the break!

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Here’s another great find from Burbed reader Tracy!  I hope Tracy doesn’t find a house to buy anytime soon, or say goodbye to these terrific listings and I’ll have to look at places like these myself.  Don’t know if I’d dare face the wilds of Milpitas, though, so thanks very much, Tracy!

436 COELHO St, Milpitas, CA 95035
$674,950

BEDS: 5
BATHS: 3
SQ. FT.: 1,962
$/SQ. FT.: $344
LOT SIZE: 7,975 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Traditional
STORIES: 2
VIEW: Mountains, Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1964
COMMUNITY: Milpitas
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81121789
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 18 days

GORGEOUS COMPLETELY RE-MODELED DREAM HOME!! NEUTRAL COLORS THRU-OUT. MASTER BEDROOM LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS MAGAZINE WITH JACUZZI TUB, FIREPLACE AND VIEW OF THE HILLSIDE. ENORMOUS ALMOST 8,000 SQ. FT. LOT. GET HERE FAST!! WON’T LAST!!

Here’s what Tracy had to say about this place:

I don’t know what magazines they are reading! Absolutely hideous  complete with Kawlums ! Strange, there are no granite countertops or red walls???  Very fancy outdoor kitchen and shed too! Maybe the house looks better in person? Could be just a horrible set of photos, a lame description, and lack of caps or punctuation that makes this one a candidate for the blog!

Hey, not every house featured on Burbed claims their interior decoration is good enough to be in a national magazine.  The closest thing I can think of is that place in Campbell that said it looked like it was in Saratoga.

And not every house featured in Burbed has MAWBUL KAWLUMS FTW.  Too bad there aren’t any on the outside.

But, oh wow, when was this kitchen done, 1986?  And the living room, um, I can’t figure out if those are sanitary covers or if someone has too much time on her hands and a sewing machine.

At least they put their laundry away, you know what I’m saying?

Hey look!  You get your own mini-golf park in the back yard!  Awesomeness!  Plus a terrific design touch in the bathroom: the premium sink/basin so conveniently located right next to the crapper.

And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for, the MASTER BEDROOM that LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS MAGAZINE WITH JACUZZI TUB, FIREPLACE AND VIEW OF THE HILLSIDE.  Ready?

OMFG.  Is that a fireplace, or a 1958 television console?  I figure it needs the fan to keep the vacuum tubes from overheating.  Here’s another view, in case you don’t like this one.

Yeah that looks like something out of Better Homes and Gardens Magazine all right: a before picture.

28333 CHRISTOPHER Ln

Los Altos Hills, CA 94022
$3,700,000

 

BEDS:	4
BATHS:	4.5
SQ. FT.:	5,229
$/SQ. FT.:	$708
LOT SIZE:	1.18 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE:	Detached Single Family
STORIES:	2
VIEW:	Mountains
YEAR BUILT:	1990
COMMUNITY:	Los Altos Hills
COUNTY:	Santa Clara
MLS#:	81052994
SOURCE:	MLSListings
STATUS:	Active
ON REDFIN:	173 days

Resort Living – pool, spa, cabanna, sauna, rock stream, beautiful views of hills. Two large master bedroom suites with fireplaces, blt-ins, walk-in closets and balconies. 4 bedrooms, plus office and library with step-down wet-bar. Open floor plan with public rooms seamlessly flowing into one another, high ceilings, sweeping circular staircase. Ideal home to showcase art collection. PA Schools