May 31, 2013

Two Two Too Good To Be True Home in Santa Clara

It’s been far too long since we’ve heard from Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer.  Today’s superlative siting is situated in supreme Santa Clara! Let’s hear it for those low-cost utilities, yayyyyyy! Notice we’re using Zillow today? There’s a good reason: Redfin’s already yanked the listing because… yup, PENDING!

130530-claremont-zillow22 Claremont Ave
Santa Clara, CA 95051
$1,089,000

Zestimate®:$954,704
Est. Mortgage: $4,040/month

Bedrooms: 3 beds
Bathrooms: 2 baths
Single Family: 1,833 sq ft
Lot: 8,712 sq ft
Year Built: 1956
Heating Type: Contact for details
Days on Zillow: 14
Addition Size: 432
Construction Quality: 6.0
Garage Size: 437
Last Remodel Year: 1956
Lot Depth: 110
Lot Width: 80
MLS #: 81316927
Parcel #: 29617012
Room Count: 7
130530-claremont-playhouse# Stories: 1.0
Structure Type: Contemporary
Unit Count: 1
Zillow Home ID: 19602034

Too good to be true home. Tremendous amounts of living space, huge backyard on prime culdesac with CUPERTINO schools. Inspections show this house is in great shape. Heat/AC, hardwood floors, CAT 5 wiring,special sound resistant windows and walls,black out shades, Audio.Visual tech dream home, granite counters,surround sound, etc. This home will not last long. Office area is built in & stays.

130530-claremont-tvWait, what’s this about sound resistant windows and walls and black out shades? This makes it a too good to be true home?

Those shades aren’t even black! We think the agent is pulling a fast one here. Same thing with the “Audio.Visual tech dream home” when all that’s visible is a giant-ass flatscreen. For all we know those cabinets are full of useless things like cinnamon and pastry bags.

130530-claremont-locationWe did determine why they mentioned the special sound resistant windows and walls, though.  Location, location, location! Hoe Lee Crap, this house is on a six lane major thoroughfare next to an eight lane major expressway and an eight lane freeway.

This is a rare location fail trifecta: Busy street, expressway and freeway. Plus it backs up to a commercial zone.

Now what would you pay? Not only is Santa Clara hosting million dollar houses, but million dollar houses in challenging locations! Can you imagine what you’re going to have to pay for a house near nothing but other houses?

If you think we’re exaggerating about the commercial zone, check out what you see when you hit Redfin right now.

130531-claremont-redfin-nfs

Go on over there, click on the map to make it full size, and note where you find yourself. This home will not last long, indeed.

Comments (7) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:04 am






April 10, 2012

You’ll appreciate the lower cost Santa Clara-owned utilities

Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer week continues, now featuring this fine find in superb Santa Clara! Who needs to drive all the way to San Francisco for overpriced property when you can do that in your own backyard?  But it’s hot, hot, HOT in the Valley too!  This is place not only went pending in five days, the listing photos were yanked down everywhere I looked.

Thank Woz for Movoto!

3086 Arthur Ct
Santa Clara, CA 95051 
$599,000

120405-arthur-movoto

Bedrooms: 3
Bathrooms: 2
Size: 1,104 sqft
Type: Single Family House
Year Built: 1954
Lot Size: 5,148
Days on Movoto: 14 days
Neighborhood: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81210711
Status: Off Market
Views: 58

This contemporary-style hm on a cul-de-sac has ample natural lighting w/many windows&skylights*warm wood ceilings in the living rm&kitchen add to the ambiance*fully fencedyard(incl front)offers privacy&outdoor areas to use*you’ll appreciate the lower cost Santa Clara-owned utilities & award-winning Cupertino schools*convenient location for freeways,shopping&parks*Shows nicely too!

120405-arthur-livingroomPoor Movoto.  Seems all they’re good for is for finding expired listings that everyone else dutifully removed when asked.  Burbed readers send in links to housing finds using Redfin, Zillow, Trulia, ZipRealty, even Realtor.com. 

It’s been a long, long time since a contribution linked to Movoto, and they once were the Official Burbed Listing Link.  Does anyone use them? This poor house only had 58 views, and 54 of them were probably from our putting today’s feature together.

Anyway, the listing copy demonstrates the usual proof that real estate agents are highly-esteemed professionals.  And while you’re trying to decipher that copy, enjoy these photos, after the break.  Someone associated with this house may be asking Movoto to take them down real soon now.

(more…)

Comments (8) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:03 am

October 20, 2011

Are you SURE it has Cupertino Schools? Really SURE?

Thanks very much to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for this Santa Clara charmer.

 

248 KELLOGG Way, Santa Clara, CA 95051
$829,000

image

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,388
$/SQ. FT.: $597
LOT SIZE: 6,710 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Ranch
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1958
COMMUNITY: Santa Clara
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81143461
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 1 day
NEW LISTING (24 HOURS)

Bright and Beautiful Family Home with Magnificent Upgrades. Recently Remodeled Kitchen and Baths include Granite Counters and Extended Solid Wood Cabinets. Enlarged Shower in Master. Central A/C. Recessed Lighting. Energy Saving Dual Pane Windows. Hardwood Flooring. Ceiling Fans in Each Room. (6)Panel Doors. (2)Car Garage with Enlarged Driveway. Park-Like Backyard. Cupertino Schools!

imageThis house might have Magnificent Upgrades, but you’re going to have to take this agent’s word for it.  There are no photos of the inside of the house or the Park-Like Backyard.

Instead, the photos are of the only thing that justifies spending eight hundred thousand dollars on a fifty year old house that’s probably smaller than this place’s spice rack.


imageimage

This agent doesn’t want you accidentally buying the house with Santa Clara schools and Cupertino utilities, so you probably ought to overbid an extra $50K just to show your appreciation.

image

Any suggestions just what that is on the front lawn?  Is it a Chia shed?

Comments (12) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:02 am

April 19, 2011

Break the Windows of this Stoned Home

Thanks very much to Burbed reader Tracy for today’s featured house!

3121 PRUNERIDGE Ave, Santa Clara, CA 95051
$679,950

image

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,760
$/SQ. FT.: $386
LOT SIZE: 6,900 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Traditional
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1962
COMMUNITY: Santa Clara
COUNTY:Santa Clara
MLS#: 81104472
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Pending Without Release
ON REDFIN: 76 days

EXCELLENT SANTA CLARA LOCATION WITHIN A “STONE’S THROW” OF MAYWOOD PARK. KITCHEN, DINING AREA, AND SEPARATE FAMILY ROOM PROVIDE AN EXELLENT HOME LAYOUT. FORMAL DINING AND A BEAUTIFUL LIVING ROOM FEATURING LOVELY VIEWS OF THE BACKYARD. HARDWOOD FLOORING, DUAL PANE WINDOWS, COPPER PIPES, AND HARDWOOD UNDER THE EXISTING CARPET MAKE THIS HOME READY FOR YOU TO MOVE IN! NOT A SHORT OR REO PROPERTY.

Here’s what Tracy had to say about this listing:

“Subject: Stoned home.  I think the realtor was smoking when they wrote this one…”

Oh come on, just because the Realtard spelled “excellent” two different ways in the same paragraph, note that he got one of them right.  Plus he didn’t make any capitalization errors by the clever tactic of using only capitals.  That’s innovative thinking!  Best of all this is NOT A SHORT OR REO PROPERTY, which is good news.  I hate it when I buy a house and find out it’s actually in Brazil.

Perhaps this issue is that the house is within a “STONE’S THROW” OF MAYWOOD PARK.  Don’t worry about neighborhood hooligans breaking your windows and hiding in the park.  As you can see, the house is conveniently situated on a busy street, so there will be plenty of witnesses to any rock-throwing attempts.

image

Plus I question whether the house is really a STONE’S THROW from the Park.  There’s a piece of property in the way, so a park-based vandal would have to loft the stone over several houses as well as all that Pruneridge Avenue traffic to hit the front windows of this place.

imageAlso, from where the house sits, I can tell you without having to look it up that it has Santa Clara schools!  Now we know residents of The Mission City love their utilities because they’re cheap.  So you’ll love these schools too, they make the house much cheaper than the ones across the street in that effete Cupertino Union district.

Pride of ownership: make sure the utilities match the schools and the carpets match the drapes.  Need I say more?  It’s got HARDWOOD underneath!

Comments (10) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:01 am