817 MORNINGSIDE Dr
Millbrae, CA 94030
$1,298,000

Ah, who doesn’t love the smell of a new home in the morning. And, look, this even comes with an Au-Pair suite! (Translation: Revenue stream opportunity! Pivot today!)

And what a reasonable price of just $601 per square foot. Practically a steal since it is just minutes from SFO where you’ll be going everyday to take your Gulfstream to whatever important business place you are going to. Caymans, perhaps?

Let’s take a look at some pictures of this new home!

Huh. Look at that! Who knew that new home developers were putting in race cookers, step stools, water bottles, and frosted mini wheats as part of staging. Already I feel more emotionally bonded to this home! Nice job!

Oh, nice work new home stagers! I can totally see myself having a 49er’s loving boy who has lots of hats and… is that a pink pair of sneakers under the bed? And… uh… what’s up with that weird wall fixture? That seems like a waste of space.

Odd choices… but it’s a new home after all.

Let’s look at one more picture of this new home!

Wow. I am absolutely impressed with this staging company. I mean, they’ve made this new home look lived in. How did they find a stained bath math like that to include? Did they even add some wear to the vent?

I am convinced that ILM was the staging company used to make this new home so awesome. ‘cuz, it’s new. Right?

What are your theories?

169 CUESTA Dr
Los Altos, CA 94022
$449,000

Thanks to Burbed reader LJ for this find! Here’s what LJ had to say:

Yes, it’s new-ish, and yes, it’s in swanky Los Altos, but it’s a frickin’ studio! Not sure how they can get away with listing it as a 1 bedroom. I always thought "Junior One Bedroom" is realtard-speak for "big studio", except that this one is not really that big at 388sqft.

And the sad part is that you could probably cover 90% of your cash flow by renting this one out to a Google or Facebook employee, who is single, and maybe also tiny, and not prone to claustrophobia, which I get just by looking at the pictures. At first I thought, wow they really crammed a lot of furniture in there, but then I looked at the data and saw how small it was. Also, I thought the foldable bed (pictures 8/9) was a nice touch, gives it a NYC big city charm, deep in RBA suburbia.

Did someone say Murphy Bed (aka Foldable bed)?

YES! YES! YES!

At $1,157 per square foot, this housing unit represents the pinnacle, the paragon, the pagoda, the pinterest, of all that is good in the Bay Area.

Everyone stop what you are doing! This is what we want. I know that if we all work together, we can make all the homes in the Bay Area this expensive. Yes we can do better!

By the way…

Yes, this place apparently comes with an alarm to protect all your valuables. BONUS!

And we’ll finish up this shortened week of accommodation awesomeness with some new construction in Los Gatos!  Thanks very much to Burbed reader nomadic for yet another example of Truth in Real Estate!

116 PANORAMA Way
Los Gatos, CA 95032
$1,999,000

4 Beds 
3.5 Baths 
3,000 Sq. Ft.
$666 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2012 
Lot Size: 10,100 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 126 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 2
Community: Los Gatos/Monte Sereno
MLS#: 81216707
Style: French, Mediterranean
View: Mountains
County: Santa Clara

New Construction. Excellent Floor Plan; Gourmet Kitchen with Custom paint & glazed Cabinets with Professional grade Bosch Appliances; Walk-in Pantry; Alarmed Security Systems; Smart Wired for CATV/HDTV & custom audio system; Laundry with custom built Cabinets with Granite Countertops & skylight.

Not another one of those backwards houses!  And by backwards we mean a “luxury” type McMansion that has an impressive address, but forgot to bring the school district along for the ride.  Let nomadic explain:

New construction for a premium in the slums of Los Gatos!

I’m calling them out because on the “features” tab it says: “Excellent Los Gatos and San Jose Public & Private Schools.”  They must be referring to private schools in Los Gatos, because the public schools (while quite good) are in the Union Elementary and Campbell Union High School districts.

Redfin has the location all wrong for these houses on the Google map, which makes me think they’re taking liberties with the lot sizes too.  If you look on the map and pan down Union Avenue to just north of Leewood Court, you can see the two of them nuzzled together on the construction site. 

Wow, it looks AWFUL on the satellite view – worse than the view from Union. 

The better-looking but much too close companion chateau finally went Pending a couple of weeks ago.  And given how lovey-dovey these two homes are, who wants to guess that the lot size of 10,500 is for both of them?  (Lot size of 117 is conveniently provided in acres to make comparisons quick and easy!  That’s 11,326 sf.  You’re welcome.)

It’s been too long since we’ve checked in with Burbed reader Tracy Tea House and her amazing collection of what-the-heck-is-THATs from the East Side. 

Today she’s back with another San Jose special for all you would-be Silicon Valley millionaires, but this one’s on the other side of the Valley.  Tracy likes Trulia for all her househunting needs, so let’s check in with them.

1454 Bing Drive Bing Drive
San Jose CA 95129
$998,000

Bedrooms: 4 24 days on Trulia
Bathrooms: 2 
Property type: Single-Family Home
Size: 1,650 sqft
Lot: 6,098 sqft
Price/sqft: $605/sqft
Year built: 1965
MLS/ID: 81224226
Zip: 95129
Listing agent: Michelle Carr-Crowe, ABR,ACRE,ALHS,ASP,CDPE,RECS,SRES, Top 5% US RE Agents
Broker: Just Call (408) 252-8900 Michelle Carr Crowe at Keller Williams Cupertino 

HURRY! Special Fourth of July HOT BUY! 1454 BING Dr., San Jose 95129, Open Sat. & Sun., 1:30-4:30 You and the people you care about are invited to see our HOT BUY! Effortless Elegance & Entertaining can Easily be Yours in this Lovely & Upgraded Lynbrook High Home. Featuring a Formal Foyer, Separate LR & FR & Skylight-Illuminated Dining, a Custom Tile & Oak Kitchen, 4 Light & Airy Bedrooms, and 2 Jaw-Droppingly Gorgeous Remodeled Baths, it all add up to Fabulous! Quality Upgrades include Dual Pane Windows, Copper Plumbing to the Main and Cement Tile Roof. COOL Central Air Conditioning, Wet

Put your best foot forward, invite the reader into your book with a great cover photo, you’ve got one chance to make a great first impression so always lead your listing with a terrific all-over picture of the house.  A photo of the house.  Not a photo of the flyer for the house.  Wow, this is worse than confusing Call by Name with Call by Value.  And in this listing the facade shot at left doesn’t appear until the fourth photo, but don’t worry, the agent put in another one right next to it in case you skip past.

See that green thing above the flyer and left of the price?  This property is “Active Contingent,” which means an offer was accepted but you just never know which contingency could derail the whole deal. That’s good news for you, because that means you can submit your own backup overbid!

For old times’ sake, head over to Redfin, where’ you’ll find:

• Different first photo, plus photos of school signs (this one is second)
• All home photos repeated
• But the street name isn’t
• Lot is 124 square feet smaller
• San Jose address in the “Cupertino” community (while being 1.1 miles from Cupertino)
• Pending Without Release (can’t figure out if that’s the same as Active Contingent since Redfin doesn’t define Without vs With Release)
• A Virtual Tour link!
• And different listing copy:

Effortless Elegance & Entertaining Can Be Yours! Fabulous Floor Plan Features Sep. LR & FR! Custom Tile & Oak Kit. Boasts Garden Window, Roll-Outs, Custom Details! Skylights! E-Z Care Laminate, Hardwood, Quality Carpet! E-Z Walk to Rainbow Park! E-Z Walk to Nat. -Recgnizd Cupertino Scls! Miller-API 981 & Lynbrook-API 943! Cool Central A/C + Private Hot Tub for Summer Family Fun!

It’s not enough to name the schools, now they also include the API scores. But the listing copy on Trulia is more deserving of the Burbed Seal of Approval.

Today is the last entry of a string of hella fine housing from Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer.  We hope you have enjoyed Petsmart Groomer week.  Next week we’ll return to a mix of properties from all over the Bay Area submitted by some of our other readers (if we still have any).

Many thanks again to Petsmart Groomer for all the finds, including this, um, place that’s been on Burbed twice already!  But you’d have to go all the back to 2008 to remember this one.  That was so long ago we were still using the MLS website for our listings!

And then we revisited the same house again three months later!

Now it’s back, and it’s better than EVEH!  You can find out how much better after the break!

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Trulia has a new blog entry on the eternal Buy vs Rent question, and they have lots of meaningless aggregate data to wave around!  Here’s their Winter 2012 Rent vs Buy Index, and and it isn’t restricted to the Real Bay Area. 

Don’t be surprised that Trulia thinks signs point to Buy.  Their being in the listing information and real estate agent referral business shouldn’t have anything to do with their conclusion, right?  After all, Now is Always the Time to Buy!

Remember, the Index is the Price Rent Ratio: sales price divided by annual rent.  So, if a house in the RBA sold for $1.5 million, and rented for $4,500 a month, the rent ratio would be 1500000 / (4500 x 12).  That equation simplifies to 27.8, which sounds about right for the RBA.  Trulia considers 15-20 to be the swing zone between whether buying or renting is a better option; below 15 is buy and above 20 is rent.  We’ve written about the price rent ratio before, and 15 was always the inflection point mentioned in these articles, not 15-20.

Update 10:26 AM: The swing zone was 15-20 from other sources, but the other sites and articles counseled renting over buying unless the home you were considering was an unusually good find.  Trulia considers the rent vs. buy decision as completely balanced when the ratio is between 15-20.  That’s the thumb on the scale.

Trulia is pushing their own agenda with this redefinition of terms by asserting a higher ratio for the buy zone.  The lack of yellow on the map above could indicate homes are more affordable, or it could show that the unlabeled color key breakpoints were chosen incorrectly.  Perhaps they simply wanted the map to match their brand color.

Now for some bad news. The Bay Area appears at #2 and #4 on Trulia’s list of least buy-friendly metro areas. It’s always a disappointment to not first on a list.

At least SF beat NYC this time, but they’re going to gripe that was because New Jersey pulled them into the Hudson like a pair of cement overshoes.  We can counter that SF has the East Bay to contend with, and San Jose has, well, East San Jose. 

Here’s a little bit more breakdown, by county, but this still doesn’t get to the city level, let alone by zip code. 

Look, Pacific Heights is going to have a higher rent ratio than the Outer Sunset.  Palo Alto is going to completely clean Gilroy’s clock.  Foster City will stomp Daly City, Montclair mauls Hayward, and Danville going to defeat Discovery Bay in the “mine’s bigger” sweeps.  Even when outside the RBA, we still have an idea which places would be contenders, and which are permanently assigned to LOLsville.  And it’s the Definitely Not In The RBA places that are going to have the lower ratios.

Here are some other metros that score lower on the Index.

The same rule applies within the Bay Area as well.  The not-so-Special places that are “slow-growing with high vacancy rates and land to spare” will have the best ratios.  These places also have the most foreclosures, which might explain why so many FBs are turning into renters themselves.  Too many foreclosures thus drive home prices down and rents up, resulting in a lower price rent ratio.  But in the RBA, prices are sticky because more owners can afford to wait out the price lulls.

These ratios are much lower than what we’d been seeing before.  Do you agree that prices are down and/or rents are up where you live?  Here’s what Trulia has to say about how the Index has changed recently: San Jose has been stable but San Francisco is dropping. 

Updated 11:14 AM: Added Oakland, Sacramento and Fresno to the table.  Note how the numbers don’t agree with those in the Bay Area table.  Stockton not called out separately.

San Jose Metro also has the second lowest vacancy rate (3.9%) of the 100 regions surveyed. The “winner” is Long Island, NY, by one tenth of a percentage point. It’s also the third highest in growth in the employment rate, at 3%.  In the first two spots are Louisville, KY and Salt Lake City.  The latter is gearing up for a ginormous government data mining operation, so there may be some tech jobs!

Their  full press release on how they came up with these numbers is here.

Thanks very much to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for finding one of those listings that seems like such a steal, you’ll be grabbing onto your wallet and wondering what the catch is.  Why, the catch is this consummate condo!  Why don’t you grab it before it gets away?

690 Market St #303
San Francisco, CA 94104
$105,000

BEDS: 1
BATHS: 1.5
SQ. FT.: 1,275
$/SQ. FT.: $82
LOT SIZE: -
PROPERTY TYPE: Luxury, Tenancy In Common
STYLE: Contemporary, Modern/High Tech
VIEW: City Lights, San Francisco, Downtown
YEAR BUILT: 2007
COMMUNITY: Financial District
COUNTY: San Francisco
MLS#: 393305
SOURCE: San Francisco MLS
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 47 days

Live without limits in one of the world’s most romantic cities. Located in the celebrated Chronicle Building, The Ritz-Carlton Club San Francisco offers one, two and three-bedroom fractional ownership residences coupled with casually elegant service and amenities including valet parking, personal concierge, private fitness and member storage, daily housekeeping, residents’ lounge and more. This luxurious residence is 1,275 square feet with one bedroom and one and one-half bathrooms. Fine finishings such as a fully equipped chef’s kitchen, complete entertainment center, Italian marble bathrooms and wine storage come standard. The Ritz-Carlton Club San Francisco enjoys a pristine location in Union Square and is one hour from Napa Valley.

Whatever could possibly go wrong here?  Sure, Market Street is busy 24 hours a day and this unit is on the third floor, but the City sounds (as well as the smells) are what you’re signing up for when you buy a place in Baghdad by the Bay, right?  And the $1,398 monthly homeowner fees might come as a surprise after you slapped down the purchase price in cash, expecting to move in and only pay a pittance in property taxes.

But note that phrase “fractional ownership residences.”  That means this isn’t your condo.  Or rather, it isn’t just your condo.  You’ll be sharing it with some other people, and the listing doesn’t bother specifying how many.  For all you know, you get to use this condo from 4 to 6 am on alternate Thursdays in months without an R during Leap Years.

And it gets even better.  This yours-some-of-the-time pied-a-terre, located close to Nordstrom and lots of homeless people, is bank-owned!

But the good news is the whatever-it-is-they’re-selling comes with a parking space, so you ought to overbid twice asking.  Have you ever tried parking around here?

Here’s unit #301 in the same building, with an asking price half of this one, for three weeks a year.  It’s been sitting all by its lonesome for almost a year (maybe the three weeks are already up).  However, #301 is in an alternate 690 Market Street, which only has 49 units in the building, while #303 has 101 units.  Good thing this 690 Market will give you so many more fractional neighbors!

Can anyone find out how much you get to “use” #303, as opposed to merely “owning” it?  Can anyone figure out how many laws of physics were violated by these two condos (with the same photos) appearing on the same website?

Here comes a three day weekend!  So let’s travel a little further away from the US 101/I-280 Axis of Specialness, and see what’s over the mountains, through the woods, and down by the bay ocean.  Fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy night find.

Thanks very much to Burbed reader The Klek for this beachy little number for a quick little getaway.

 

794 FRANCISCO St
El Granada, CA 94018
$346,800

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,270
$/SQ. FT.: $273
LOT SIZE: 2,800 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: Bi/Split Level
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1960
COMMUNITY: Lower El Granada
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81144716
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 81 days

LOOK AT THIS PRICE HURRY WON”T LAST!! GREAT LOCATION!! 3 Bedroom 2 Bathroom is priced to sell * . Wood burning stove. Split level with Master Bedroom. Hot Tub. Property needs TLC. Close to the beautiful Ocean Beach enjoy walking along the seaside. Close to the Princeton Harbor and restaurants. Enjoy the sites of watching the surfers. COME BACK and SEE THE Painting exterior/Interior Plus * * * *

Here’s what The Klek had to say about today’s fine listing:

Here’s a good example of some lazy work on the part of the realtor who couldn’t be bothered with turning on the lights before taking pictures and editing those same pictures to remove any duplicates.

Still, I suppose the shadows and general darkness really underline the cozy quality. The grammar of the description needs work but I like how she mentioned the local sights (all at least 1/4-mile away) confusing the reader that the house offers views of surfers curling on a wave. Views of your neighbor couch surfing is more likely.

Oh, the poor buyers, thinking they’re signing up for volleyball and shell-collecting, when this is what they’re going to be looking at every day.

And have a look at the neighborhood.  The Klek was right about how close the beach was (that is, not yet in the big picture).

There is something seriously hinky going on over on Redfin when you try to look at the house on Streetview, probably because, for some reason, it’s classified as being in Half Moon Bay.  You’ll find yourself a block and a half away, and on the wrong street as well.  But Google Maps had no trouble finding it right away.

Now that we’ve found Home Sweet Home, guess it’s time to soak in the hot tub.

¡Perfecto!

1820 ASH St
Palo Alto, CA 94306

$1,149,500

At $2017 per square foot, this listing is the pride and joy of Bay Area real estate. Now, granted, this isn’t exactly accurate as there’s also a guest house that can bring in revenue – and as we all know, revenue is what counts.

But wait. This house sure seems familiar. Where have we seen this before? Quick! To the wayback machine to a period when I was still regularly contributing to this site!

September 7, 2010

A healthy priced property in Palo Alto

1820 ASH St Palo Alto, CA 94306

$1,499,000

OMG. What. Is. Going. On? No, seriously… what is going on with these prices?

What’s your prediction for what this house will sell for next year? Keep in mind the coming torrent of IPOs that will rock the Valley!

Here’s a listing with a rather intriguing backstory.  I wonder if any heads will roll over this monumental mismanagement in Mountain View.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for sending this in.  Except what PG sent in isn’t what you’ll see when check out the Redfin link.

 

505 CYPRESS POINT Dr #30, Mountain View, CA 94043
$220,000

BEDS: 1
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 645
$/SQ. FT.: $341
LOT SIZE: 2,000 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Condominium
STORIES: 1-3 (Low Rise)
YEAR BUILT: 1971
COMMUNITY: North Shoreline
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81135529
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 7 days

Beautiful 1 bedroom and 1 bath, single story townhome. Spacious living room, nice and quiet neighborhood. Prefect for 1st time home buyers. Great location, close by parks, schools and shoppings. Must See Now!

Um, okay, yet another cubicle condo so your homelife can be just like your work life.  But what PG sent me isn’t what’s on Redfin now.  Here’s what was sent in:

Update: lots of photos follow, so come see them after the break.  This is kinder to the front page in the true Real Bay Area Spirit.  Or something.

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