It’s the second day of the A to Z Blogging Challenge and our readers are already Bored!  So let’s Blow off any more Bitching and proceed to today’s Bodacious Beauty!  Also Bear in mind that B is not only for Burbed, it appears twice therein!

Okay, we swear we won’t Bother Belaboring the Best Blog in the Bay Area!

804 MILLER Ave
Belmont, CA 94002
$1,900,000

2 Beds
1 Baths
1,030 Sq. Ft.
$1,845 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1926
Lot Size: 4,500 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 4 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
View: Valley
County: San Mateo
Stories: 1
Community: Belmont Country Club
MLS#: 81309791

Approximately 20,000 square feet per county records, made up of 4 beautiful lots with level areas. On one lot, there is a small 2/1 with a detached 2 car garage. See the city to determine the development possibilities of this property. .. possibly 4 new homes! Needs to be sold all as one package.

Note that weasel word: possibly! Possibly 4 new homes! Possibly the most expensive 1000 sf house on 4500 square feet in the history of Belmont real estate sales. Possibly a Big Boost toward Buyer’s Bona fide Bankruptcy.  Inotherwords: Buy and Believe!

Buh-Bye!

What do you think? Typo, toxics, or TERRIFIC OPPORTUNITY?  Buy now, at a LUCKY PRICE!  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for this superlative steal in San Francisco!

430 Eddy
San Francisco, CA 94102
$8

— Beds
— Baths
— Sq. Ft.
Built: —
Lot Size: 6,356 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 25 days
Property Type: Lots & Acreage
County: San Francisco
Community: Tenderloin
MLS#: 404942

2 lots; 430 Eddy St. & 519 Ellis St. There were previous approvals for 46 Senior Units. Approvals are expired. Offers will be reviewed on or after March 15th. There is no asking price. Seller reserves the right to reject any offer.

Whoa.  This is so different than all those other real estate deals where the seller has to take any offer, no matter how ridiculously insulting.  Like, say, $8 for two lots in San Francisco.  And not the part way the heck out by the fog, either.  No, this is in the Tenderloin, the sweetest neighborhood of all!  Now, let’s have a look at what they’re selling and forgot to photograph.

Yesssss! Score! Trash bins!

See that big red Pin with an A on it? That’s A for Approvals Are Expired, so their loss is your gain! Start your overbidding now!  You know why you should invest in this area?  It’s a growth opportunity!

We’re covering the housing bubble 24/7 now that everyone’s paying attention to real estate again.  Today we have a lovely home in Redwood City that you may have seen before.  Take another look, while you still can!  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for an excellent surveillance operation.

715 ESTHER Ln
Redwood City, CA 94062
$450,000

2 Beds
1 Baths
750 Sq. Ft.
$600 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1929
Lot Size: 4,790 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 33 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Cordilleras Heights
MLS#: 81303054

Beautiful view of bay and city lights. Additional 6900sqft lot to be sold with the property. The additional 6900 sq ft parcel of land CANNOT be developed upon per city and county building department. Building square footage 1130sf on public profile is incorrect, actual living area is about 750sf, Fixer-upper Sold "As Is" may not qualify for FHA.

This house’s list of tag may be bigger than it is.  Not only that, it has a history!

Here’s something it didn’t have last year (besides an extra hundred thou of instant equity you get now!): Redfin Agent Insights!

“Dead End,” “Completely gutted” and “Killer Views,” three phrases that don’t go well together after watching certain movies.  How about Zero Dark Thirty?

Updated 11:30 AM – Second house found; see end for details and plenty of pix!

AOL has been doing a real estate area for a while, including a series of videos and articles beyond the listings and search tools. Someone over there must have been reading us, because they did a piece discovering that (gasp!) there are very expensive yet definitely crappy houses for sale in the Real Bay Area.  Worse, they had the gall to call this an “AOL original.”

Have they been living under a rock? This has been our signature claim for more than seven years! Let’s listen in as self-important talking heads who don’t bother introducing themselves tell us what we already know.  (Warning: dude with beard is extra smug.)

M’kay.  There’s some really useless accompanying text, so our mission is to do a slightly better job.  Remember, it’s fairly easy to succeed when you set your standards this low.

Decrepit Homes in San Francisco Bay Area Fetch Top Dollar for Mountain Views

By AOL Real Estate Editors | Posted Feb 21st 2013 5:14PM

A sorry-looking shack, with deep cracks in the cinder-block walls and busted windows, that looks like it’s ready to collapse: You wouldn’t pay a dime for that, would you? OK, say it’s nestled in the gorgeous hilltops of the San Francisco Peninsula with no shortage of pristine mountain views. Now how much would you pay? More than $1 million? Well, that’s how much it’s going for.

We’ve probably violated Fair Use by quoting an entire graf, because there’s only one more.  There’s also only two homes in the video, and only the more than $1 million OMFG Emerald Hills (Redwood City) place (shown above in a clip from the video) has mountain views.  The other (at left, also clipped from the video) is in Willow Glen, and didn’t seem to have any views beyond the neighborhood street.

We were able to find the place in Emerald Lake in about 3 minutes, and it definitely could use a big ol’ Burbed sloppy kiss, Of course it’s already pending.  This is the Real Bay Area we’re talking about!

209 LAKEVIEW Way
Redwood City, CA 94062
$1,275,000

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,490 Sq. Ft.
$856 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1948
Lot Size: 0.38 Acres
On Redfin: 207 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
View: Mountains
County: San Mateo
Stories: 1
Community: Cordilleras Heights
MLS#: 81228879

Incredible opportunity in Emerald Hills. Originally three lots under two APN#’s (APN #057-031-480 and APN #057-031-049) which have been combined into one lot at approximately 25,150 SF. The value is in the land and the views of the surrounding hills with easy access to 280. Walk the site and let your imagination run wild. Dream big and build new or renovate. Plans are available for viewing.

We didn’t have the same success in finding the Willow Glen weedery.  This one is similar to it (Craftsman style bungalow, over 12,000 square foot lot, to be sold as-is) but we don’t think it’s the right house.  Can any enterprising Burbed readers find the house in the video? 

Update: House in video found by Burbed reader Chris. See end of this article for details and photos. We’ll also throw in a break as this is starting to get long, so click on through!

(more…)

Ah, Woodside, home of the record-breaking property sale.  Also home of Larry Ellison (well, one of of homes, because he sold the other one).  Point is, Woodside is for CEOs and Venture Capitalists, not worker bees.  WRONG!  Today’s featured property, courtesy of Burbed reader holyzoo, shows that Entry Level in Woodside is welcoming you to Executive Acres!  Read on and find out why!

125 Ware Rd
Woodside, CA 94062
$649,000

2 bed, 2 bath
1,180 sqft
Single-Family Home
14 Days on Trulia
411 views
Style: Detached, Cabin – Woodside, CA

125 Ware Rd Charming rustic cabin surrounded by redwoods, in State Scenic Skyline Corridor. Includes parcel # 067-042-020 at .35 acre, 15,682 sq ft. Total of both lots is .9065 acre 39,922 sq ft. They are level lots. Home needs repair and is being sold “as is”. It is ideal for a contractor or handyman. Den was third bedroom but now lacks a closet. Outbuilding garage is currently not usable.

 

Now lacks a closet? Therein lies a tale!  Here’s more from holyzoo:

Brother to another… etc. . you know the cliche… I have been tracking your website for a LONG time, saving untold sums avoiding therapist bills.

I’ll keep on keeping on, and probably begin to send you more crap than you want, but this busted me up today. We were looking at Mid-Peninsula Skyline properties today – one was a granny shack for $650k. As dated as 1930 can provide.. be prepared for major dryrot repair, complete remodel, or better yet, tear it down and rebuild.

W00t! Teardown! Value is in the land, which is why they’re making more of it. Two parcels, no waiting.  And yes, the granny shack was built in 1930, which means it qualifies for the old house tag!

And so convenient!

Burbed got its start almost seven years ago, featuring very expensive houses in very questionable locations in very poor repair.  But housing win isn’t all crapboxes and open potties and questionable listing copy.  Sometimes there’s much to enjoy with a premium listing as well.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader SMParkster for following up on a fantabulous feudal feast!

331 GREER Rd
Woodside, CA 94062
$85,000,000

9 Beds 
8.5 Baths 
9,000 Sq. Ft.
$9,444 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1946 
Lot Size: 91.94 Acres 
On Redfin: 60 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 2
Community: Central Woodside
MLS#: 81241344
Style: Colonial
View: Mountains, Lake
County: San Mateo

LANDMARK PROPERTY NEVER BEFORE ON THE MARKET. PROPERTY CONSISTS OF 3 PARCELS—PARCEL #072-052-020 51.04 ACRES. .PARCEL #072-052-260 39.40 ACRES AND PARCEL #072-072-010 1.5 ACRES TOTALING APPROX 91.94 ACRES. .BORDERED ON ONE SIDE BY HUDDART PARK, GLORIOUS LAND W/ ROLLING OAK-STUDDED HILLS OPEN MEADOWS & ENDLESS VIEWS. CIRCA 1941 COLONIAL ESTATE HOME, GATEHOUSE & CARETAKER’S COTTAGE. WOODSIDE SCHOOL

Wait, this place looks familiar.

Flood estate in Woodside is for sale… $85 million.  Perfect example of why Prop 13 needs to go…. the most recent property tax was under $8000. 

That estate doesn’t look flooded at all, but we admit we didn’t check all 92 acres of it.  Maybe that lake used to be the golf course. 

And what’s this “On Redfin 60 days”?  SM sent this in four months ago.  When we went to check the listing history for further hints, we found only an MLS listing entry from November, plus an announcement that the seller didn’t want any estimates of the property’s value, so no links to any of the automated home valuation websites would be provided.

Like this one.

They’re awfully sensitive about any of you finding out that you could rent this place out for $6500 a month instead of Buying It Now for $85M.  As the agent helpfully points out, “You never see this kind of land.”

Want to be a real estate mover and shaker? Start today by buying this property that features 2, yes (2) lots!  Think of all the ways you could take advantage of this amazing zoning opportunity.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for sending us this salubrious spread in Santa Clara!

2710 PRUNERIDGE Ave
Santa Clara, CA 95051
$1,575,000

4 Beds 
3 Baths 
2,254 Sq. Ft.
$699 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1961 
Lot Size: 10,270 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 6 days
Status: Active
Property Type
Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81300520
Style: Ranch
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara

(2)Lots for Sale With Building Plans for (2)Custom Homes. (Sold Together) Lot #1 APN 294-32-041: 4Br/5Ba, 2 Story Custom Home:3,454s. f. with (2)Car Garage. Lot Size: 8,614s. f. Cupertino Schools!! Lot #2 APN294-32-042: 4Br/5Ba, 2 Story Custom Home: 3,243s. f. with (2)Car Garage. Lot Size: 8,002s. f. Santa Clara Schools. (Lot Lines Adjusted per S. F. )Existing 4Br/3Ba Home Encroaches on New Property Line.

Wow, was that listing copy written by an attorney who doesn’t want anyone to notice the details? Or perhaps a claustrophobic, because whoever typed that in is afraid of spaces.  Now let’s have a good look at this opportunity with an existing 52 year old house that encroaches on New Property Line.

The red line appears to be for Lot #1, the bigger 8614 sf parcel. As you can see it cuts through the east side of the existing house, but fortunately, it did not bring the cooties of Santa Clara Schools all the way to the front door.

Yes, we hope you noticed that Lot #1 is Cupertino Schools and Lot #2 isn’t.  But wait! There’s more!

See those little words in the driveway?  Yes, technically your driveway is an actual city street that ends a few feet before the back fence.  Here’s another look at the neighborhood.

So not only do you have one house with several inches on the other lotline, you also have a named city street taking up most of it.

How are you going to design your way out of this configuration?  We assume one of the lots boasts a Portal to Hell for extra storage.

One other solution: Street Fair Every Day.  Now we’re talking Serious Opportunity!  Call up some of those Gourmet Food Trucks, have them kick back some of the take, and you’ll be paying this place off in no time. 

Bunus: Santa Clara Utilities for all!