50 MATEO Ave
Millbrae, CA 94030

$299,000

Didn’t get what you wanted for Christmas? Well here’s your chance! Look at this deal! Most of us could charge this on our Centurion cards, right?

Let’s take a look at some of the fine interior pics:

Wow, talk about #winning! Unfortunately, the Iraq War is now over – so references to Fallujah and etc are now over. What would be a good modern day comparison for this house?

In any case, at $650 per square foot, this house demonstrates the awesome power of the Bay Area. Maybe you could buy this and create your new social, gamification, hyper local, daily deal, analytics, heroin shooting gallery! Just think of the potential! It’d be so addictive and viral! You could call it BlackTarr.com. (Please remember me for Friends and Family Shares. Thanks!)

16240 WOOD ACRES Rd
Saratoga, CA 95030

$698,000

Yes. I would also guess that this home may be larger than county records. By just a little though.

Any thoughts on how one would go about measuring this?

DEALS, DEALS, DEALS, we’re going to travel all around the Bay Area to bring them to you!  Here’s something close to a major center of higher learning!  No, not Stanford, that would be the cheapest house in Palo Alto.  This is the cheapest house near Cal!

And since Cal’s a public school, you can pay a public house price!

1509 ASHBY Ave, Berkeley, CA 94703
$170,000

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 754
$/SQ. FT.: $225
LOT SIZE: 2,516 Sq. Ft.
TYPE: Detached
STYLE: Bungalow
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1922
COMMUNITY: Berkeley
COUNTY: Alameda
MLS#: 40498800
SOURCE: EBRD
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 384 days

Nice home but does need work. Public record shows 754 sq feet, and 1 bedroom but it has 3 bedrooms, so sq foot is larger.

“It has 3 bedrooms, so sq foot is larger.”

You know, maybe someone subdivided that one bedroom into three and turned this into a super-cheap student rental.  Maybe the sq foot is not larger after all.  Maybe it is.  Maybe it’s a tesseract and the house is actually 25,000 sq foot.  Maybe it’s in some kind of non-Euclidian geometry zone where a sq foot is 25,000 sq inch.  (That may be the best explanation, as Euclid is on the northeast side of town.)

There’s no inside photos, so the only way you’re ever going to find out if sq foot is larger is to BUY THIS HOUSE RIGHT NOW.  Think of it as a lucky raffle ticket, only instead of possibly winning a new car, you could win a larger sq foot.

Burbed doesn’t spend enough time in the East Bay, and when we do, we’re accused of being mean to them.  So let’s show them our Real Bay Area love, especially because there isn’t a lot of Real Bay Area to go around out there.

Today we’re going to find the cheapest house in the City of Diversity!

27878 MELBOURNE Ave, Hayward, CA 94545
$38,500

BEDS: 0
BATHS: –
SQ. FT.: 1,000
$/SQ. FT.: $38
LOT SIZE: 5,100 Sq. Ft.
TYPE: Detached
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1955
COMMUNITY: Palma Ceia
COUNTY: Alameda
MLS#: 40553774
SOURCE: EBRD
STATUS: Pending
ON REDFIN: 8 days

WOW!!! . .. .. .. FINALLY ON THE MARKET. .. .. .. .. . AND NO ZEROS MISSING FROM THE PRICE, THAT’S JUST $38,500. TOTAL AND YES IT’S IN CALIFORNIA. BUT YOU WILL NEED TO BRING YOUR CONTRACTOR AS THIS ONE IS A POSSIBLE SCRAPER.

Possible scraper.  No bedrooms, no baths, and it’s a possible scraper.  If you want to leave one of these walls standing you could call it a remodel instead.  But for this price, you ought to get the pleasure of renting a bulldozer and destroying this place all by yourself.

You couldn’t do worse than these guys did. (Thanks to Burbed reader Michael Boltonestater for sending in that link.)

DEALS, DEALS, DEALS!  We got them all over, even in places like Cupertino where families will sell both grandmothers just to get their kids enrolled in these schools.  Best of all, we found an incredible DEAL in Cupertino that has not one but TWO lucky 8s! 

18811 ARATA Way, Cupertino, CA 95014
$600,000

BEDS: 2
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 814
$/SQ. FT.: $737
LOT SIZE: 5,187 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1952
COMMUNITY: Cupertino
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81145411
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 47 days

Excellent opportunity for first time home buyers and or build your dream home! This homes needs TLC but lots of potential in a neighborhood of million dollar homes. . Excellent Cupertino schools

In a neighborhood of million dollar homes?  Is there any place anywhere in Cupertino that isn’t in a neighborhood of million dollar homes?  Or at least in a neighborhood of potential million dollar homes?  Just because the house backs up to apartments, is a block from a six-lane arterial, a six-lane expressway, and an eight-lane freeway doesn’t mean there aren’t million dollar homes somewhere.

Also we promised two Lucky 8s, and we delivered.  They aren’t in the asking price, either.  They’re in the street address, so you get to keep them!  Bid this one up to $688,888!

Fremont doesn’t get anywhere near enough attention from Burbed, but today we take a step toward correcting that oversight.  This is a DEAL, DEAL, DEAL that should make anyone happy. 

Fremont: Close enough to Silicon Valley that commuting is in the realm of possibility, yet with all the quality features we’ve come to expect from close-in areas such as Redwood City, East Palo Alto, or Alum Rock!

57 Sycamore St, Fremont, CA 94536
$147,250

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 845
$/SQ. FT.: $174
LOT SIZE: 4,237 Sq. Ft.
TYPE: Detached
STYLE: Fixer/Handyman Special
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1905
COMMUNITY: Fremont
COUNTY: Alameda
MLS#: 40551215
SOURCE: EBRD
STATUS: Pending
ON REDFIN: 27 days

View of Creek Hills, Trees, View of Niles River directly behind property, Very Scenic Location. Dual Pane Windows, Walk to Park. Sold in AS-IS condition.

Walk to Park.  Well, I’m sold!  Although I would love to see the inside.  How did they fit 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms in 845 square feet?  Did they leave out the living room and the kitchen?

The house has plenty of history, too.  Plenty of listing history.  BUY NOW!!!!!!

Today’s high-end luxury find is thanks to Burbed reader Fun Dip, with a fun-filled first Guest Post from the land of high-scoring schools and higher-hitting prices.  All I have to say in introducing this pimped-out palace is YOU SNOOZE, YOU LOSE!  It’s going, going, GONE!  Yes this place sold faster than the parents queue up for Kindergarten registration at Lincoln Elementary.

Please give Fun Dip a big, warm, Real Bay Area welcome as today’s Burbed Guest Blogger!

20916 FARGO Dr, Cupertino, CA 95014
Listed for $1,088,888; Sold for $990,000

BEDS: 5
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,606
$/SQ. FT.: $616
LOT SIZE: 9,600 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Contemporary
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1951
COMMUNITY: Cupertino
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81146836
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Sold

Main house is 3/1 and rear house is 2/1 * Copy of 1986 permit for cottage avail * Separate gas and elec meters * Prime Garden Gate area surrounded by large, elegant newer homes! North facing door * Excellent Cupertino Schools! 9600 square ft rectangular lot! Build new house? Remodel existing house & cottage? Convenient commute, close to De Anza College, Apple Cupertino, Whole Foods. ..

Check out this one, listed on 11/11/11 for $1,088,888 – so you know this one is going FAST!

Price History

Date          Description        Price    % Chg     $/sqft     Source

11/11/2011 Listed for sale $1,088,888     –          $678      Referral Realty

Not only is the 5/2 really a 3/1 + 2/1, but more awesomeness in the description

• surrounded by large, elegant newer homes! (really? this is such a crap box, you have to talk about the houses surrounding it?)
• rectangular lot! (OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!)
• and convenient commute … to… Whole Foods! (you know, in case some bagger really has an eye on that cottage)

Now I heard of people during the peak peak peak years buying up crapboxes in this zip for like 700k, tearing it down, getting another nice line of credit to build a new house for 600k or so…. so I couldn’t figure out why this house is listed at $1,088,888.

Then I read on in your blog that zip 90514 comes in at #188 in terms of ranking, so maybe Listing Agent Nora Cook figured a few more lucky 8′s, maybe add a zero for good measure, and prestomagic!!

Sitting on a beach, earning 3%!

and for some reason, this listing just wants me to say:

DON’T EVER INTERRUPT ME JERRY! JUST SHUT THE F*CK UP!

We’ve been having such a whirlwind tour of the Bay Area that we forgot about one of our favorite places!  And just because the seller took this sky-high priced listing off the market doesn’t mean you shouldn’t consider it.  Anyone could contact the agent with the right price to make this sale happen.  Remember, it only takes ONE buyer.  One really misinformed buyer.

Thanks very much to Burbed reader Wendie for this eye-popping palace in Palo Alto!

405 MARLOWE St, Palo Alto, CA 94301
OFF-MARKET ($2,495,000, Reduced to $2,370,000)

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 3
SQ. FT.: 3,108
$/SQ. FT.: $660
LOT SIZE: 10,000 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Contemporary
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1960
COMMUNITY: Crescent Park
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 80656322
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Sold

Price Reduced Again! Execellent location in Crescent Park. Square 10,419 lot Designed for easy living. Sep guest qrts or recreation room. Very light inside House Sq Ft are approximate. .. Remodel or Build . .Not in Special Flood Zone

Here’s what Wendie had to say about this big lot with location, location, location!

2.4 for an Eichler.

For 2.4 million, you can have your own carport AND hear the travel up and down University! And boy, does this glorified Eichler have some curb appeal!!  Look at that driveway, circa 1957.

So much curb appeal the agent didn’t dare put the front of the house as the first listing photo.  Potential buyers might expire on the spot from the awesomeness of this place with an opening like that.  Execellent!

But Burbed has you covered!  All FOUR of the pictures of this 3100 square foot house are here for your viewing pleasure (two inside, two out!), just in case the MLS copy and pix get yanked.

“Bunus”: it’s NOT in a Special Flood Zone, which is a real shame.  For this kind of money, everything about the house ought to be Special.

This weekend, I mentioned Brisbane in passing in the last Expensive Zip Code installment.  I said it was time Burbed showed Brisbane a little bit of love.  So here’s a hug and a big wet one for you, Brisbane!

676 SIERRA POINT Rd, Brisbane, CA 94005
$245,000

BEDS: 2
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 800
$/SQ. FT.: $306
LOT SIZE: 4,950 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Cottage/Bungalow
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Bay, Neighborhood, Ocean, City Lights
YEAR BUILT: 1933
COMMUNITY: Brisbane
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81131286
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Pending With Release
ON REDFIN: 143 days

Great fixer in Brisbane with Million dollar views of SF, bay and city lights. Open floor plan 2br 1bath – needs much work.

You don’t realize just how much work this place needs: “Open floor plan” doesn’t mean what you think it means. 

Also I am going to spot this place the Bay view despite what I can see from the street, which looks like several houses in better repair than this one.  But an Ocean view as well?  I’m dubious.  As to the “city lights,” they didn’t tell you it was Foster City.

We’ve done with our whirlwind tour of the cheapest home in every Bay Area County (plus Santa Cruz).  But what about our favorite cities?  We can’t leave them without a big ol’ Burbed hug! 

Go West, young man, west of San Jose over to the delightful city of Santa Clara!  Don’t get lost, now, because when you go West in San Jose, that means taking 101 or 280 NORTH.  But don’t actually go North.  You’ll end up in Alviso, and we’re headed there another day.

Today: The Mission City!  Tomorrow: The World!  Muhahahaha!

1647 LAFAYETTE St, Santa Clara, CA 95050

BEDS: 2
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 988
$/SQ. FT.: $302
LOT SIZE: 9,000 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1920
COMMUNITY: Santa Clara
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81144289
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Pending With Release
ON REDFIN: 47 days

Short Sale As Is with only one Lender. Nice floor plan with a large back yard. This charming home is a fixer upper, located in a central location of Santa Clara. Easy access to highways, Santa Clara University and within walking distance to the surrounding business places, shops & restaurants.

Don’t let that Pending status worry you, it’s Pending With Release!  That means you can slip in a non-contingent offer, even better if it’s all-cash.  But don’t plan on getting to see the inside until you take possession.  Here’s another view courtesy of Google.

And when the agent said centrally located, she wasn’t kidding!

Sold for $474K in 2003, that’s $175K in instant equity waiting for you!