Today we have a real purty property in Portola Valley.  You know how we love expensive crap? Just crossing into this high-falutiin’ district will make your wallet squirm.  It’s expensive here even if the land doesn’t have a house.  So for this low (for PV) price, you know today’s feature will be good.  That is, if by “good” we mean something not so good.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for this find.

211 WAYSIDE Rd
Portola Valley, CA 94028
$1,499,000

3 Beds
2 Baths
2,340 Sq. Ft.
$641 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1925
Lot Size: 0.41 Acres
On Redfin: 190 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 2
Community: Santa Maria/Russell Area
MLS#: 81227542
Style: Contemporary
View: Neighborhood
County: San Mateo

There are no remarks available.

Take it away, PG:

No wonder people outside the Bay Area think we are insane. Even with a Ferrari in the garage (picture #18), I can’t see the value in that one.

Sometimes, when life hands a real estate agent lemons, it’s best to keep one’s mouth shut. The eager buyer will bring the water, sugar and ice — then beg to be sold lemonade.

If you take a look along our right-hand column, you can see a number of useful things to click.  There’s our email contacts, for when you want to send in the perfect example of Housing Win.  There’s some interesting websites we think you’d enjoy.  And there’s a link for every category we’ve ever filed anything under, along with how many articles are in each one.  Most of our categories are location, location, location.

Take a glance at today’s category, Foster City.  It’s a little on the scant side, and there’s a good reason for that.  Foster City is full of tract housing, and most of it’s in fairly good shape.  Places with good schools don’t tend to get run-down properties.  And besides, there’s so much housing win right next door in the flats of San Mateo.  All this is a fairly long-winded way to welcome today’s featured home, from Burbed reader Pizzawillcome.  Thanks very much for pulling up a rarity: Burbed-worthy in Foster City!

676 PILGRIM Dr
Foster City, CA 94404
$808,000

2 Beds
2.5 Baths
1,340 Sq. Ft.
$603 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1964
Lot Size: 5,225 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 7 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
View: Neighborhood
County: San Mateo
Stories: 1
Community: Treasure Isle
MLS#: 81301481
Upcoming Open Houses:
Sunday, Jan 27: 2:00-4:00 pm

Great Foster City Eichler style home in excellent neighborhood. Laminate wood floors throughout. Heated pool and spa. Huge master bedroom. Kitchen with granite countertops. Remodeled baths. This house is perfect for entertaining. Home needs a little TLC but is in great shape. This will go quick. Great price!

Here’s the Pizza on this fab find:

I’ve been visiting Burbed on a daily basis for a few months. It is strangely therapeutic.

This house gave me an urge to send in my first burbed alert.  My favorites are the Cinderella-style bathroom mirror and the vanity.

Our favorite picture is the first one, because we don’t typically find such artistic photos in Foster City.  They’re all strangely identical, but this one is by an agent who says, “No, dammit, this house needs to be backlit! The right buyer wants a house that looms menacingly.

“Also that buyer will appreciate not one but two 8s in the price.”

Bunus: what’s that in the mirror?

That’s right, who doesn’t love a pink house?  Especially a pink house in San Jose!  How about East San Jose, because that’s what Burbed reader Tracy Tea House has found for us.  And once more, you are TOO LATE.  Seriously, would you get off your butt and buy another house? Do you want to be PRICED OUT FOREVER in Bubble 4.0?

50 PICKFORD Ave
San Jose, CA 95127
Listed for $324,950
Sold for $391,000 on 11/28/2012

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,381 Sq. Ft.
$283 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1930
Lot Size: 10,000 Sq. Ft.
Sold On: Nov 28, 2012
Status: Sold
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
County: Santa Clara
Style: Craftsman
Community: Alum Rock
MLS#: 81239001

BANK OWNED REO! Excellent opportunity to own a home with lots of upside potential. Property has two garages, both have had permits pulled but never finaled. Property needs lots of work and is to be sold in its present “AS IS” condition. Home is in fairly good condition inside but you will need to replace some doors and windows. Some kitchen appliances are missing.

Opportunity! Potential! Fairly good condition! Unfinaled permits! Bank Owned REO! (What other kinds of REO are there?) What are you waiting for, don’t walk, don’t run, rent a helicopter and FLY over there right now!  Let’s listen in on Tracy’s nomination speech:

Pink and dismal. So much more than “some of the appliances are missing.” How about the sheet rock? Stinking Pink, tiny halls, open toilets, this bank owned house has it all.

Is this the “RBA?” I like the three pictures of the street in the wild west of East San José.

Wild West is right, they even show the broken windows.  We don’t know where Tracy got the above shot because it’s not on Redfin, and ZipRealty wanted us to sign in (As If, ZipR!)

Enjoy the pictures.  We included a bunch, because we never know when some real estate site will make us sign in.  The street, the open toilet, and many more right after the break.

(more…)

1305 AVONDALE Rd
Hillsborough, CA 94010
$2,100,000

“First time on market in many years”

No interior pictures.

“Lots of potential”

For some, these these facts may inspire some horror. What lies beneath this placid surface? Will it be a den of moldy rooms, complemented with wood panels and… gasp… a lack of pergraniteel?

I, however, am an optimist. I believe that these are actually code words for the savvy that this house is for those who value their privacy. Targeted at the execs that run Major Social Network Site and Major Search Engine, who don’t want anyone to know anything about them. In fact, it’s probably a good bet that it’s not pergraniteel inside… but rather redwood tree-elephant tusk-titanium inside. Could anything be more elite? Could anything require more privacy?

Are there any adventurous Burbians who could take a look inside this house and report back on what’s inside?

Here’s a cheery little story just to remind you that you’re all only one abandoned hellhole of a house away from losing Real Bay Area status, and it can happen anywhere!

 

Dumping ground: Burlingame neighbors tire of long-vacant home

January 08, 2013, 05:00 AM By Bill Silverfarb, SM Daily Journal staff

Daily Journal Neighbors want action taken against the owners of a vacant home in Burlingame who have not maintained the property for years. (photos, Bill Silverfarb)

A long-vacant home in Burlingame’s Lyon Hoag neighborhood has turned into dumping ground and neighbors in the area are sick of it.

The home, at 139 Channing Road, sits in the middle of million-dollar homes but neighbors fear their own property values will be negatively impacted by the property — which they say looks like an overrun junk yard.

The listed owners, Michael James O’Brien and John Quillian O’Brien, moved out of the home several years ago after a death in the family and have not maintained the property, neighbors told the Daily Journal.

Bruce Bettencourt, who lives right next door to the house with his wife, has called Burlingame code enforcement at least “100 times” over the years about rats, garbage, junk and overgrown vegetation on the property, he told the Daily Journal.

He has found dead raccoons on the property and fears it has also become a nesting ground for rats.

Dead raccoons plus live rats! Usually we get our housing fun from real estate listings.  But you can learn a lot from reading the news sites as well!  Let’s see what we can find out about this house.

139 Channing Rd
Burlingame, CA 94010
$694,000 Trulia Estimate

1 bed
1 bath
1,000 sqft
Single-Family Home
Public Record
Neighborhood: Lyon Hoag

Listing Details
Description provided by Trulia
This is a Single-Family Home located at 139 Channing Road, Burlingame CA. 139 Channing Rd has 1 bed, 1 bath, and approximately 1,000 square feet. The property has a lot size of 5,750 sqft and was built in 1922. The average list price for similar homes for sale is $3,020,488 and the average sales price for similar recently sold homes is $1,106,052. 139 Channing Rd is in the Lyon Hoag neighborhood in Burlingame, CA. The average list price for Lyon Hoag is $1,035,000.

Public Records for 139 Channing Rd
Official property, sales, and tax information from county (public) records as of 09/2012:

Single Family Residential
1 Bedroom
1 Bathroom
1,000 sqft
Lot Size: 5,750 sqft
Built In 1922
A/C: Central
Heating: Central
Parking: Detached Garage
Parking Spaces: 1
4 Rooms
County: San Mateo
Tax Rate Code Area: 4-001

While you can’t see much from the street, here’s an abandoned car from the view over the back fence.  If you check out the Streetview pictures, you’ll find trash cans in front of the house next door, but we don’t think that’s what the neighbor called the code enforcement office about.

You’d think that San Mateo County would want their $16,000 in back taxes.  You’d think they’d bring some kind of fines against the owners for abandoning their (live) dogs in the house.  Supposedly John Quillian,  Michael O’Brien’s stepson, recently told the city he’s planning on moving back in.

Why doesn’t the city or county force a sale of this property?.  Not only would that lead to  a new owner cleaning up what’s turning into a health hazard, but it will be good news for the local agencies as well.

139 Channing Road
Burlingame, CA 94010

Owner: MICHAEL JAMES OBRIEN & JOHN QUILLIAN OBRIEN
Land value: $94,608
Building value: $111,812
Total value for property: $206,420
Assessments for tax year: 2009
Last sale: $120,000
Date of last sale: 10/24/1979

Welcome back to another week of Extreme Housing Win, Bay Area Edition!  We hope everyone had a wonderful holiday break and we wish you all a Very Happy New Year if you haven’t been reading us Every Single Day Like You Should Be.

Today’s featured FUBAR hails from the linchpin of higher learning in all of California.  No, not Stanford.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Ms. Snoopy for this bodacious buildout of BOOM in Berzerkely!

1068 CRAGMONT Ave
Berkeley, CA 94708
$399,000

4 Beds 
3 Baths 
2,129 Sq. Ft.
$187 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1959 
Lot Size: 8,100 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 20 days
Status: Active
Type: Detached
Stories: 2
Community: Berkeley Hills
MLS#: 40598550
Style: Craftsman
View: Bay
County: Alameda

If You Love Natural Light, You will Fall in Love w/ the “VIEWS” of this home. This is definitely a HOME IMPROVEMENT house in the workings! NEEDS a lot of TLC.

Here’s Ms. Snoopy’s nominating speech for this front-page folly:

According to the agent, this one “NEEDS a lot of TLC.” I guess “TLC” in realtard speak now means drywall, doors, and ceilings. But the agent is right that you will get “lots of natural light” due to the fact that there are no walls.

Love your site!

No walls?  That means plenty of fresh air as well!  Plus fresh water.

And plenty of nature, both animal and plant kingdoms, free to surprise you day or night.

Would you look at those VIEWS!!!!!

There are several types of housing awesomeness we cover.  There’s the high-priced crapshack, the WTF You’re Kidding, the completely overdone custom home, the adorable domicile with serious location fail such as an international airport.  Then there’s the tried and true House Flip.  We all love flips because they all use the same formula.

1. Buy crappy house for cash
2. ?????
3. Profit!

Have a look at what Burbed reader nomadic found for us in the wilds of Los Gatos.

15588 BENEDICT Ln
Los Gatos, CA 95032
$950,000

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,456 Sq. Ft.
$652 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1948
Lot Size: 9,625 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 34 days
Status: Active

Start work tomorrow! Rare opportunity and no waiting. Permit fees have been paid and plans are in hand for a complete remodel/addition of this cute 1500 SF. 3 Bedrooms, 2 Bath home with spacious kitchen/greatroom on a large (9625 SF), level lot with an existing garage. To help save even more time and money, the interior of the home has been stripped to the framing. Great location with L. G. schools

Have they left out Phase 2? Let’s hear from nomadic:

A flipper bought this house in May, stripped the house down to the studs and put it up for sale in November.  He thinks those services (plus permits) are worth $175k.  Is the market really that crazy?  Maybe not, given that it’s still active after 30 days.

Ooh, the plot thickens: “Fixer Upper, Seller is Licensed Real Estate Agent”

The “Zestimate” is $945k.  Unfortunately, the prior listing isn’t available on Redfin so we can’t tell if the current seller did anything at all, other than buy at a favorable price – which actually probably wasn’t particularly good, given that this nearby house sold in July for $700k (larger but with Hwy 17 in the back yard) before being flipped – as a FINISHED house – for $999k.

To help save even more time and money, why not leave the flippers out of the entire transaction?  Which leaves a realtard out too!

Bunus: Check out the neighborhood. Great for teens!

Our post-Christmas closeouts continue!  Today we’re heading up the hill to Santa Cruz County to show that you, yes YOU!! Can!! Afford!! To buy a house!! Thanks very much to Burbed reader wahnny for sending us this bodacious Boulder Creek craptacular.

273 W HILTON Dr
San Lorenzo Valley, CA 95006
$49,900

3 Beds 
2 Baths 
1,400 Sq. Ft.
$36 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1965 
Lot Size: 0.32 Acres 
On Redfin: 21 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Community: Boulder Creek
MLS#: 81242647
Stories: 2
County: Santa Cruz

Property damaged by 2006 slide on Boulder Creek golf course. Engineering reports and county reports on file. Drive by only. DO NOT ENTER PROPERTY. CASH OFFER ONLY.

Here’s what wahnny said about this resort location:

Although the photos and listing appear to match the reality of the area (made worse with recent rains), the dreaming still continues.

You’ll be having pleasant dreams in this Golf Course abode!  They’ll be so amazing that’s why you’re only allowed to drive by. 

Nobody’s allowed to enter the property until you’ve paid your cash offer.  If that isn’t proof that The Bubbles Are Back, we don’t know what is.

We’re sure you can clean up that 2006 slide on Boulder Creek golf course, if you can find where the engineering and county reports are “on file.”

It’s time for another expedition a little further from the usual Google-Facebook-Twitter locations, locations, locations.  Today’s featured frontage is a full-on flip, thanks to Burbed reader dollarbin!

203 SUNNYHILLS Dr
Watsonville, CA 95076
$319,000

3 Beds 
2 Baths 
1,380 Sq. Ft.
$231 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1954 
Lot Size: 5,227 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 21 days
Status: Pending With Release
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Watsonville
MLS#: 81241943
Style: Contemporary
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Cruz

Freshly Remodeled 3 bedroom 2 bath Eichler home at the end of a cul de sac. Short walking distance to schools in nice stable neighborhood. new roof, all new plumbing, upgraded electrical service, wiring and light fixtures, new heater, and water heater upgraded kitchen with granite counter tops and stainless appliances. all double paned windows

Granite and stainless and panes, oh my!  And dollarbin has another reason to send in this listing.  Let’s listen in.

I was checking out the listing for this Watsonville flat-top.  Looking at the listing I noticed that it sold back in April for roughly half the price.  Fortunately, the old listing also has interior photos.

Shame they had to paint over all of that original artwork.

Wait, old listing?

203 SUNNYHILLS Dr
Watsonville, CA 95076
Sold for $160,000

2 Beds 
1 Baths  1,470 Sq. Ft.
$109 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1954 
Lot Size: 5,227 Sq. Ft. 
Sold On: Apr 26, 2012
Status: Sold
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Watsonville
MLS#: 81200844
Style: Cottage/Bungalow
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Cruz

Subject located on corner lot at end of road. Large backyard patio area. Centrally located near all amenities. Interior of home is vandalized and will require much TLC. Good opportunity for a contractor/investor fixer.

Let’s enjoy that original artwork, then.

And best of all, these pictures are actual size.  So for once you don’t have to go to the listing to embiggen them.

But the photo of the living room above is the only picture that we can tell for sure was taken in the same house.  See if you can identify some of the others!

And note the good wishes the artist left for the future homeowners.  It’s in red so you can’t miss it.  SUCCESS.

Today’s featured property was sent in by Burbed reader Swan! Thanks very much for this wonderful Woodside win.  (Oh yeah, PENDING!!!!!!)

133 MARVA OAKS Dr
Woodside, CA 94062
Listed at $1,895,000

2 Beds 
2 Baths 
1,400 Sq. Ft.
$1,354 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1961 
Lot Size: 3.73 Acres 
On Redfin: 112 days
Status: Pending Without Release
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Central Woodside
MLS#: 81231887
Style: Contemporary
View: Canyon
County: San Mateo

Driveway is a slight downslope, house is on the flat, then another downslope on a road to a lower, larger flat pretty area. From there property does go down to Raymundo, but too much brush to walk.

We sure like this description of the property.  Here’s what Swan had to say about it.

Let’s start with the realtard listing 3.73 acres in Woodside for $2250.  Why I didn’t jump on the deal then, I’ll never know!  Suddenly, the price went up to $2,250,000 only to be reduced to $1,895,000.  Of course, the listing is pending! 

Anyway, how about the realtard’s description of the property.  Huh?  Say that again?  The Redfin agent seems to sum it up nicely:  fixer.  Oh, and be sure to check the satellite view in Google.  There’s a an RV (or something) with a lovely blue tarp over the top.And, on the back part of the property, a broken down vehicle along with that burned down barn.  I’m sure the surrounding mansions love living next door to the hillbillies!

Wait, what’s this about 3.73 acres for $2250?

Yowza.  And the Redfin agent?

She did not actually say “fixer.”  Just “open your wallet.”