Yesterday we featured a humongous three and a half million dollar spread on half an acre in San Jose. It was a block from the actual Rose Garden that gives the Rosegarden district its name, but still, San Jose. For three and a half million. Yeah, we don’t think it computes either, unless we want to talk Bay Area Bubble 4.0 some more.

Now, today’s property and its pricing won’t make your eyes pop out because it’s in the Real Bay Area! Let’s find out why it won’t sell!  Thanks very much to Burbed reader nomadic for sending in this Real Realty Reject.

11860 FRANCEMONT Ave
Los Altos Hills, CA 94022
$3,999,000

6 Beds
6 Baths
5,250 Sq. Ft.
$762 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2006
Lot Size: 1 Acre
On Redfin: 387 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 3
Community: Los Altos Hills
MLS#: 81214828
Style: Mediterranean
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara

Property available at full price. Fabulous nearly new 5250 square foot home in a quiet cul-de-sac location on 1 acre with easy access and outstanding quality. Excellent floorplan with a huge kitchen/breakfast/family "Great Room" opening to a beautiful backyard. Luxurious master suite. Guest suite on main floor. Excellent Los Altos schools. 6 bedrooms, 6 baths.

Upcoming Open Houses

Saturday, May 18: 2:00-4:30 pm

First let’s check in with nomadic.

I sent this to a friend a few minutes ago before taking a good look at the listing copy and history.  This should go on burbed.  “Available at full price.”  It’s been on the market since November 2010 and went pending twice, failing to close both times.  The price has been raised at least twice in the past year – now up $700k from last April.

The icing?  It’s an REO.

Well, it doesn’t say it’s an REO in the listing, but the history admits to a foreclosure back in June. June, 2010.  But still, compare this property to yesterday’s! It’s on a full acre instead of a half, it’s got an extra bed and bath, and it’s in the RBA! All this for just “not a lot of money” more! Yet it’s been a languishing listing for at least a year, and that doesn’t even cover all that time before it went pending twice.

Why didn’t this place sell? There are definitely homes in this price range on this street.  Maybe this comment on short sales from a local Realtor might explain things:

The only active short sale in Los Altos Hills, located on Francemont, has been on and off the market since 2006. While it’s a nice house, it has had many offers and still seems to be having trouble closing. It’s unusual for any home to remain on the market so long. In my opinion this is an issue with the bank and not the home.

And the owner of the home is… BAC Home Loans Servicing, through ReconTrust! Thanks a lot, B of A! We all know it really stands for Bunch of A-holes.

Bunus: Virtual tour guaranteed to give you motion sickness.

Let’s continue looking at some homes untouched by Bay Area Bubble 4.0 fever!  Thanks very much to Burbed reader dollarbin for this fantastic find: over 200 days on the market and wait until you see the price history! Amazing!

1915 83RD Ave
Oakland, CA 94621
$189,000

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,526 Sq. Ft.
$124 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1963
Lot Size: 5,400 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 210 days
Type: Detached
Stories: 1
County: Alameda
Style: Custom
Community: East Oakland
MLS#: 40592548

Come and see this custom built Eichler in Oakland. You will own the house that everyone talks about. This house is an architectural masterpiece and the additional master bed and bath make it incredible. This is the only Eichler in this part of Oakland. Open House April 6th, 10 AM- 12PM.

Here’s what dollarbin thought of the place:

I’ve been sitting on this one for quite some time and it’s finally pending but as a short sale, I bet it will have a long luxurious escrow.  Check out the listing price history, more ups and downs than a whack-a-mole game. Bring on the Eichler lovers!

There’s so much to salute about this property, it’s hard to figure out where to start the rollout.  How about we take a look at all the attractive price points it has offered in search of the One True Buyer.

No wonder it’s selling shortly!  Don’t miss the Open House, either! Um, whoops.  Hey, this is the only Eichler in this part of Oakland!

Welcome back to Day #4 of the Danged blogging from A to Z challenge. Despite Dropout, we’re Determined to Drag our Dozen Dear readers through Daily Dumps!

Excuse us.  We’re got a Delightful Domicile for your to Drool on the Drapes! But Don’t Despair! We’re Driving a Distance to Danville for this Detached single family Dreck.

Drop any Disgust; the Day’s Display Deserves Decent Drama.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Kim from the East Bay for this Donation.

531 FERNCROFT Ct
Danville, CA 94526
Sold for $678,000

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,938 Sq. Ft.
$350 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1974
Lot Size: 9,963 Sq. Ft.
Sold On: Mar 27, 2013
Type: Detached
Stories: 1
County: Contra Costa
Style: Ranch
Community: Danville
MLS#: 40604422

Wonderful ranch style home on a large, private lot. Vaulted ceilings in family room w/ wood burning fireplace. Dine in kitchen with newer appliances. Formal dining room and living room. Dual pane windows. Large parklike backyard with patio. Home needs some TLC.

Let’s Dial in with Kim:

Look at the listing history:

Listed for $650 a mere 24 hours after being purchased for $565K (Feb 21-22) Closes on March 27 for $678

BUY NOW OR BE PRICED OUT FOREVER!!!

You can’t even call it a flip since he may as well just have used the same listing photos.. the only difference is the house is vacant. Not a bad profit for zero work.

Don’t Diss the Dealer! Why Do you Despise Democracy so much? Maybe you should Dig Ditches in Da Nang if you Don’t Declare Dittoes! Dude, we Direct you to the old Data.  The Dated Depictions are worth a Detour, as the Domicile is not only Decorated, we even found a Double-Double DHO (Dudettes Hanging Out) Distinction! (see left side mirror and its Doppelgangers).

Also the previous listing features lawn Décor from another Development, Different Date, Domain… it looks like a Disk from the Island of Yap.

Or a Demon-sized Donut.

D’oh!

The Detail:

We get some interesting comments from people who don’t agree with our definition of what the Real Bay Area (RBA) is. Many seem to think that if an area is wealthier than its surrounding community, that, in and of itself, is sufficient for RBAhood.  Nothing could be further from the truth.

The whole point of the RBA is that it is not only expensive, it is that you will pay a crapton of money to live there and the sellers can ask over three million yet treat you with complete and utter disdain. You will also end up with a house that isn’t even worth photographing. Today’s property illustrates this perfectly.

1801 WAVERLEY St
Palo Alto, CA 94301
$3,295,000

5 Beds
3.5 Baths
2,982 Sq. Ft.
$1,105 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1932
Lot Size: 9,000 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 7 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 2
Community: Old Palo Alto
MLS#: 81307920
Style: Colonial
View: Neighborhood
County: Santa Clara

Upcoming Open Houses

Saturday, Mar 23: 1:30-4:30 pm
Sunday, Mar 24: 1:30-4:30 pm

Prime Old Palo Alto!Old world charm meets modern amenities! Lovely 5 bedroom, 3.5 bath home. 2 master suites; one on each floor. Large family room adjacent to spacious kitchen. This home features a huge 9000 +/- sf lot. It is perfect for large gatherings & extended family visits. Updated kitchen and baths with tile counters and newer appliances.

Yes, this is a vintage home (just slipping in under our definition to earn the “old house” tag) in a desirable part of Palo Alto, but it isn’t being marketed as a teardown. It’s just that the agent obviously has better things to do than pull out the iPhone and snap a dozen listing photos.

Good thing there’s Google Streetview!  Isn’t this place just fabulous?

Guess you’ll never know unless you show up at the Open Houses this weekend.  Also, many sections of Streetview around this house have been blurred out. Perhaps this home is owned by a highly-placed Googler.  This view around the corner from Tennyson was the best we could do.

But you’ve seen plenty of properties on Burbed showcasing Palo Alto. (Heck, we’ve visited Waverley Street so often they ought to rename it Burbed Boulevard.)  We were trying to make a point about the difference between RBA and not-so-RBA.  Let’s see what you could get for pretty much the same amount of money over the Bay and through the Caldecott.

6 GREAT OAKS Cir
Orinda, CA 94563
$3,350,000

3 Beds
3.5 Baths
4,350 Sq. Ft.
$770 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1949
Lot Size: 2.32 Acres
On Redfin: 541 days
Type: Detached
Stories: 1
Community: Glorietta
MLS#: 40544806
Style: Contemporary
View: Other
County: Contra Costa

Original Frank Lloyd Wright designed home built in 1949. The stunning grounds were landscaped by Henry Matsutani who did the Japanese Tea Gardens in Golden Gate Park. Incredible opportunity to own a bit of history/ a work of art. All showings subject to screening process. Call agents for details.

That’s right.  If you’re willing to spend the same amount in Orinda, you can own a house actually designed by Frank Lloyd fucking Wright. Not only that, the landscaping is by the same master gardener behind the Japanese I-shit-you-not Tea Garden.  In Golden goddamned Gate Park. Which we think even Silicon Valley software dweebs have heard of. Plus the Orinda house is on more than two acres.

It’s also been for sale for a year and a half and has had two major price reductions.

But in Old Palo Alto, you get a house on nine thousand feet, and you will like it.  And if you don’t plenty of others will, because this house has only been on the market for a week, and after the Open House you know the sellers will be receiving all seventy-nine offers the following Tuesday, and decide which of the no-contingencies-extra-cash-please-with-homemade-brownies-and-a-Tesla-Model-S begging letters they will accept.

And THAT, my friends, is the Real difference between the Real Bay Area and the Rest.

Thanks to the fun folks at Redfin Forums for inspiring today’s article.

We’ve been calling Bubble on the Real Bay Area for several months.  For the next few days we’ll continue to make the case that the housing bubble in the Bay Area is absolutely unmistakable.  Yesterday, we had a 35% overbid in Prime Palo Alto for a tear-down bungalow on a lot too small for subdivision.  Today, we have an even smaller lot with a return of what we called a “wishing price” when the Bubble was about to pop.  But before it did, we had another name for a WTF asking price.  Let’s see what one would look like in Millbrae.

140 MAGNOLIA Ave
Millbrae, CA 94030
$1,100,000

2 Beds
1 Baths
990 Sq. Ft.
$1,111 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1927
Lot Size: 6,000 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 3 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
County: San Mateo
Style: Cottage/Bungalow
Community: Highlands
MLS#: 81306376

Charming Two Bedroom and One Bathroom Single Family Home situated on a Lot that is Zoned R-2 (Residential Duplex). This home is located conveniently around the corner from Downtown Millbrae’s Finest Restaurants and Shopping. Great Development Potential, come see this home!

A thousand a foot is a fair price for convenient access to SFO plus two freeways! Plus this is primo real estate photography. At least the agent isn’t snapping pictures in corners like yesterday.

Plus this home is located conveniently around the corner from Downtown Millbrae’s Finest Restaurants and Shopping.  According to Yelp, the Best Restaurant in Millbrae is the Millbrae Pancake House, so we’re talking haute cuisine.  Or at least hot cuisine. 

Now, this lovely home last changed hands in September 2010, for $675,000.  Aren’t you sorry you didn’t snag it then?  Look at all the instant equity you missed out on!  As you can see from the old listing photo (right), the only improvement done to the home since then was to Photoshop in a better sky.  Also back then the place was “Close to BART, Airport, Freeways and schools.”

Not any longer!  Now it’s just one big Great Development Potential opportunity for you! With a price like this, this is now a Real Bay Area house, therefore the train tracks, airport and freeways must have been relocated.

We hope you realize this is THE SECRET of how to make money in Bay Area real estate:

1. Buy house not in the Real Bay Area due to its location fail
2. Eliminate location fail so house moves to RBA
3. ???
4. PROFIT!

Remember, a WTF asking price isn’t a Wishing Price unless there’s no chance of getting it. This is a Bubble Price.  This seller is saying, “You want this house? You’re going to have to pay me enough to Make Me Move.”

We love it when listings rise from the dead canceled and return betteh than EVEH.  Today we have a house that already made one appearance on Burbed, so another one makes it so much more full of Win!  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Dibber for unearthing this unabashed ultimate unavailable (yep, PENDING!) um…

11441 Eastbrook Ave
Los Altos, CA 94024
Pending: $2,499,000
Zestimate^®: $2,507,171

Bedrooms: 6 beds
Bathrooms:6 baths
Single Family:9,300 sq ft
Lot:23,086 sq ft
Year Built:1992
Heating Type:Forced air

Description

HUGE CUSTOM CONTEMPORARY HOME W/2100SF ATTACHED GUEST HOUSE**PERFECT FOR LARGE EXTENDED FAMILY OR INVESTMENT RENTAL**EXPANSIVE LIST OF AMENITIES INLC LIMESTONE FLRS, CUSTOM FAUX PAINT, LRG MASTER SUITE W/ SITTING ROOM, GOURMET KITCHEN W/ GRANITE, WINE CELLAR/TASTING ROOM, 5-ZONE HVAC, 4FIREPLACES** TWO (2) CAR GARAGES INCL OVERSIZED HEIGHT FOR R/V/WORKSHOP**FRESH LANDSCAPING,ROOFTOP BALCONY!

We’ll leave it as an exercise to the reader to find out why Zillow led with the cabinet picture instead of the front of the house.  Now let’s check in with Dibber:

Or maybe it never left?  Winchester Mystery House, Los Altos Hills campus.   Check out the listing history.  Who says Silicon Valley is expensive.  I can get you into Los Altos Hills baby!  And only $269 per square foot.  I’m thinking listing mistake…Concord? 

Perfect for the large extended family?  Honey, please show aunt Betty to the 2100 square foot guest house, but this time please keep her out of the wine cellar and off the roof deck.  And honey, the kids really shouldn’t be playing pick-up soccer on the 280.

Yes, ridicuously cheap.  Too bad Foothill College doesn’t have fraternities.  This place would would be perfect… traffic noise would drown out the party noise!

Wonder why this never got snapped up last time we featured it… And here it is all the way from 2010!  Remember this one?

Wow, has the unwitting seller finally dropped the price low enough price to find a buyer?  Or is this just a coincidence that prices are finally going up again?

Today we have a real purty property in Portola Valley.  You know how we love expensive crap? Just crossing into this high-falutiin’ district will make your wallet squirm.  It’s expensive here even if the land doesn’t have a house.  So for this low (for PV) price, you know today’s feature will be good.  That is, if by “good” we mean something not so good.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for this find.

211 WAYSIDE Rd
Portola Valley, CA 94028
$1,499,000

3 Beds
2 Baths
2,340 Sq. Ft.
$641 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1925
Lot Size: 0.41 Acres
On Redfin: 190 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 2
Community: Santa Maria/Russell Area
MLS#: 81227542
Style: Contemporary
View: Neighborhood
County: San Mateo

There are no remarks available.

Take it away, PG:

No wonder people outside the Bay Area think we are insane. Even with a Ferrari in the garage (picture #18), I can’t see the value in that one.

Sometimes, when life hands a real estate agent lemons, it’s best to keep one’s mouth shut. The eager buyer will bring the water, sugar and ice — then beg to be sold lemonade.

It’s time for the weekend, so let’s end the workweek with one more whomp of Housing Win.  Burbed reader Tom Paine has a serious case of Whisky Tango Foxtrot for you to Foxtrot off with.

2150 big ridge Rd
Healdsburg, CA 95448
$925,000

0 Beds
1 Baths
— Sq. Ft.
Built: —
Lot Size: 80 Acres
On Redfin: 472 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Residential, Detached, Single Family
Stories: 1
County: Sonoma
Style: Other
Community: Healdsburg
MLS#: 21126715

NET ZERO – OFF THE GRID This 80 acres of pristine land with the ultimate view across Dry Creek Valley. This stunning virgin land awaits for the building of your ideal home with several buildling sites. A unique 1200 sq ft living structure with a 680 sq ft bedroom / mezanne.

When he sent this in, Tom observed:

It has a Mezanne! wHiCH Is LikE, waaaAY COOL!

Too bad it doesn’t have a bedroom.  Are we supposed to sleep on one of the buildling sites instead?  The mezanne doesn’t look comfortable.

You can’t fool us.  This house is actually a giant-ass aluminum toaster.  Too bad it’s off the grid.

Here’s a very Bay Area solution to the often noted challenge that “they’re not making any more land.”  Build your house on  water!  Sound like a plan to you?  Let’s swim on up to WaterWorld, courtesy of Burbed reader J from Alameda! 

Note: this is a Bay Area solution, but definitely not a REAL Bay Area fix.  RBA houses are in the RBA in the first place because they have land they aren’t making any more of.

2394 Mariner Square C3
Alameda, CA 94501
Sold 11/9/10 for $335,000

2 Beds 
1 Baths 
1,296 Sq. Ft.
$258 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1972 
Lot Size: — 
Sold On: Nov 9, 2010
Status: Sold
Type: Detached
Stories: 2
Community: Barnhill Marina
MLS#: 40489839
Style: Contemporary
View: City Lights, Marina, San Francisco, Water
County: Alameda

This beautifully remodeled 2 bed 1 bath floating home features estuary and SF views, hardwood floors, new paint, wains coating, vaulted ceiling with exposed wood beams, new appliances, stain glass windows, three decks, and skylights. Close to BART, ferry, train, and Fwy.

Here’s what J floated over with the house:

And this would be cheapest SFR/Floating. Also should get a prize for longest price history….

Unfortunately, would you believe this property was delisted, we swear we are not making this up, the very day we head off to Redfin to write it up?  Which means we don’t know how many days it was on the market for but about two years.  We’ve already done a property that was sitting on MLS for four years!  And this one for more than three!

But while you may be at sea here, the agent says it’s close to everything: BART, ferry, train, and Fwy. It’s even closer to the Posey (underground) tube.  The map clearly shows it runs right underneath you.

Meanwhile, we looked high (Zillow) and low (Sawbuck) for the newly pulled listing without much success.  Here’s what we found in Google cache, but it appears to be a completely different floating house, despite the listing history lining up perfectly.

2394 Mariner Square Drive E6
Alameda, CA 94501
$229,000

1 Beds 
1 Baths 
— Sq. Ft.
Built: 1968
Lot Size: —
On Redfin: 537 days
Type: Detached
Stories: 2
Community: Barnhill Marina
MLS#: 40533694
Style: Contemporary
View: City Lights, Downtown, Marina, Water
County: Alameda

Floating Home. Open plan for kitchen/living room and den; upper level suite for bedroom and sitting area. 360 degree view from upper deck; elegant tiled first floor. New carpet in upper level bedroom suite.

One bedroom, two bedrooms, so what? No square feet, 1300 square feet, big deal.  Blue trim, green trim, doesn’t mean anything.  C3, E6, you sunk my battleship!

Now, here’s one of the 360 degrees of views you can enjoy from the upper deck.  Also check out this delightful photo of the house and environs from homes.com!

Bunus: Sold in 2007 for $448K.

Another bunus: This old listing (with old paint job) says there’s a $523 a month berth fee.  But that’s nothing.  Trulia says this place is a mobile/manufactured home.  They’re the only site that says so, which means they could be wrong.  But what could possibly be better than a trailer house in a trailer flotilla?

You thought we forgot about our Black Friday Deals Deals DEALS? Of course not!  We’ll be throwing in our rock-bottom sale items whenever the mood strikes us, and right now, the mood slapped us silly while saying, “Hey, how about you find another Cheapest In The Whole County” item?  We’ve only got two counties in the Bay Area left, so today we’re headed up to the Whine Country!

Warning: This is definitely not The Real Bay Area.

205 LARIAT St
CA 94567
$89,900

3 Beds 
2.5 Baths 
2,504 Sq. Ft.
$36 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1993 
Lot Size: 0.74 Acres 
On Redfin: 181 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Residential, Single Family
View: Canyon, Hills, Mountain, Valley
MLS#: Lc12071394
Style: Two Level
County: Napa

Far from the maddening crowds. .. your own private sanctuary located in Berryessa Estates! This home features parquet flooring in the dining area and living room. The living room has a fireplace with bench seating, two decks on either side while offering open access to the dining area right off the kitchen. The Master is located on the main floor and also offers access to one of the two decks. Master bath features jetted tub to chase the cares of the day away. Downstairs is an oasis with a large family room with pellet stove and 2 additional bedrooms, bath, laundry room and the patio. Decks overlook the valley, what a great way to unwind! True there is work to be done but if you’re seeking seclusion, put this property on your list and take advantage of this great price reduction!

True there is work to be done.  Maybe it could start with rounding up this home a city to go with its street address.

What else needs to be on your list?  That is, aside from the bills from Cal Fire, the problems with the water and sewer services, and the growing number of foreclosures in the area due to residents unable to pay the huge water and sewer service bills. And bonds.  And fines for sewage spills.

Looks like if you move here, you’ll be tied up with all these exciting challenges!  But not as challenging as the previous owners who bought it in 2004 for $355K and were lassoed into foreclosure seven years later! 

Now when we said this place was rural, we weren’t kidding. You’ll be getting along your little dogie for a spell finding the place.

View Larger Map

Now will someone give this realtard a copy of the Hardy novel?