March 8, 2012

Newer 62 year old home in East San Jose

Today’s Adventure in Realtard Listing Copy is courtesy of Burbed reader Tracy.  Thanks very much for separating the wheat from the chaff, and sending us the chaff!

2430 RUBY Ave
San Jose, CA  95148
$579,000

120307-ruby-redfin

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,420
$/SQ. FT.: $408
LOT SIZE: 0.57 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Contemporary
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1950
COMMUNITY: Alum Rock
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81205841
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 21 days

* * * Regular Sale * * * Newer home with 3 bedrooms 2 bathrooms in a 24,829 sqft land. It has Pergo floors throughout, recessed lighting, ceiling fan, double Pane windows. Inside laundry room in the kitchen area. Kitchen has granite counter top and newer cabinetry. Low maintenance backyard with large patio and large storage room. Close to Eastridge Mall, restaurants and easy access to frwy 680/101.

120307-ruby-facadeHere’s why Tracy thought you’d be interested in today’s featured house:

HUuh??? Built 1950 “newer home”  708 sf with 3/2 and the most ginormous lot.. I am confused. I like the “Low maintenance backyard” and the storage shed might be bigger than the house.

 

120307-ruby-arrowsThe house is 708 sf, but the agent reports it as 1420?  Maybe the garage and that storage shed were added into the sqft land.  And do you see what’s there on the front porch?  I think it’s time to break out the Burbed Red Arrows, because we’re looking at some MAWBUL KAWLUM ACTION.

Also have to wonder about this Realtard leading with the kitchen cabinets instead of the awesomeness of these profound pillars.

120307-ruby-grounds

Fortunately, there’s plenty of greenery in the back yard, so don’t worry about the seller neglecting the landscaping.

In fact, there’s so much treasure to hunt for, both on the property and in the surrounding neighborhood, that both you and your kids will enjoy being told to play outside in the Low maintenance backyard!  That is, if you and your kids are intrigued by vintage automotive finds.

120307-ruby-satellite

Otherwise, at least you’re Close to Eastridge Mall.

Comments (17) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:01 am






October 26, 2011

Now THIS is an Undisclosed Location, Location, Location!

A while back we featured a trailer park house mobile home that a reader sent in.  Then the owner of said home appeared in comments and after a nasty free-for-all lively discussion, either the Owner or the Sender asked that the writeup be removed

Well guess what? We’ve got another place from the Exact Same Trailer Mobile Home Park, and it’s even more Burbed-worthy!  Thanks very much for Burbed reader SEA for alerting us to this opportunity.

 

2151 Oakland Rd #301, San Jose, CA 95131
$109,900

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BEDS:3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,440
$/SQ. FT.: $76
LOT SIZE: –
PROPERTY TYPE: Mobile Home (Double Wide)
YEAR BUILT: 2008
COMMUNITY: Berryessa
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81134644
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 63 days

Beautiful 3bed/2ba 2008 Champion Model. Living room has pergo & towner dormer with skylight. Family room has wire for phone and cable. .Eat-In kitchen has a refrigerator, dishwasher & skylight. Guest bed has ceiling fan with light and carpet. Guest bath has tub & shower & linoleum. Master bed has walk in closet and wire for cable. Master bath has separate tub & shower. Space rent $825.01.

imageWe’re still disappointed that the other doublewide got taken down, but this one is so much better, and only a few thousand more!  It’s much newer, built in 2008.  But the awesomeness is just beginning! 

Buy this container house and nobody will have any idea where you live.  Yeah, the original Casa del Lago doublewide was purported as “Live at an Undisclosed Address,” but there were directions to find the place in the MLS detail.

imageNot here!  Not only do we have no idea what street this is on, the agent won’t even show us what the outside looks like!  There’s no way you’re going to find this place short of taking a tour of every single metal box luxurious manufactured home in the park until you find this interior paint job!  With every single room painted a different color so you’ll never get lost, it’s all ready for you to start a preschool in here! Ka-ching!

Plus all the delights of Casa del Lago, including rapacious, bloodsucking landlords enthusiastic on-site management ready to assist your move in with a sixty-page rental agreement you won’t be able to take off the premises after you close on the place.

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What are you waiting for?  This one won’t last long!

Comments (10) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:09 am

October 12, 2011

Drive way on the side of the property

Today’s listing was sent in by Burbed reader MS.  Thanks very much for this MUST SEE NOW in San Mateo!

 

1235 TERMINAL Pl, San Mateo, CA 94401
$449,999

image

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,040
$/SQ. FT.: $433
LOT SIZE: 4,050 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Traditional
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1944
COMMUNITY: North Shoreview/Dore Cavanaugh
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81114350
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 189 days

MUST SEE NOW! Completely remodeled 3 BR 2 full baths including a new roof, double pane windows, new kitchens cabinet, granite counter top and new stainless steel appliances. Pergo floor throughout the house, recessed lighting throughout the house, new interior, exterior paints. Detached two car garage. Drive way on the side of the property.

imageHere’s what MS had to say about this home:

This house is Really for Sale. It has really not sold in 170 days.

Actually it took a while to run this, so now it’s more than 190 days.

The house foreclosed at $260K, came BOM at $500K, and has been stuck at $450K for going on three months.  It is not selling because the flippers did not fix the obvious and did not take into account what could not be fixed.

  1. It’s very close to the 101 retaining wall.image
  2. The garage is an unpermitted conversion from a one-car to a two-car, is sagging, and backs right up to an alley shared with an chain-linked parking gate for a not-nice apartment building.image
  3. The crawl space goes about halfway through the house. How you get to the other half is unknown.
  4. The water heater and w/d hookups are in exposed enclosures outside.
  5. The neighbor across the street has an 18-foot junk mountain behind his fence with “beware of dog” sign. A mattress is perched at the apex.

I CAN HAZ STREETVU?

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I agree it’s never a good sign when the lead picture on MLS isn’t the front of the house.  But surprisingly, the front exterior is not the picture of most concern.  Here’s a look at the side and that unpermitted garage.

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Hmmm.  The Redfin agent toured it four times and concluded:

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imageAnd we haven’t even started looking inside yet!

The seller just isn’t thinking BIG enough.  Close to SF, close to Silicon Valley, close to biotech jobs, and really, really, really close to 101.

There’s a garage (with no access for a car) which you can instead use for the next Web 3.0 startup incubator make.money.fast opportunity.  Now all that’s needed is a Web 3.0 price and a reminder to drive way on the side of the property.  Way, way on the side.

I’m thinking… $995K.  Who’s in?

Comments (10) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:07 am

July 28, 2011

GREATE BUSINESS POORTUNITY

Thanks to Burbed reader and occasional Guest Editor sonarrat for today’s featured home.

2250 STORY Rd, San Jose, CA 95122
$325,000

image

BEDS: 3
BATHS:  2
SQ. FT.: 1,228
$/SQ. FT.: $265
LOT SIZE: 5,500 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Contemporary
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1963
COMMUNITY: Alum Rock
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81127940
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Pending Without Release
ON REDFIN: 18 days

REGULAR SALE * * COMMERCIAL ZONE * * GREATE BUSINESS POORTUNITY * THIS PROPERTY FEATURES 3BED/2BTH INCLUDES UPGRADE SUCH AS NEW PAINT, KITCHEN CABINETS, GRANITE COUNTER TOP, PERGO FLOOR, BATHROOM, NEW LANDSCAPE FRONT/BACK, GARAGE CONVERTED * CONVENIENT ACCESS TO SHOPPING CENTER & FREEWAYS * READY FOR MOVE IN CONDITION * SPECIAL PROGRAM FOR FIRST TIME HOME BUYER * OPEN HOUSE 12-2PM 06/26 * THANKS FOR VIEWING

imageHere’s what sonarrat said about why this listing was sent in for your enjoyment:

Instant Entry into Real Estate Copy Hall of Fame

Wow, this place even has 2/3 of the Pergraniteel Hat Trick.  Sorry, no “stainless steal” appliances, but you can’t have everything at these prices, not to mention this location, location, location!  What could be better for a BUSINESS POORTUNITY than Story near King?  I mean, it already has an overflow parking lot!

image

imageIs it my imagination of is this ceiling not exactly level?

And it never occurred to me to use Pergo in the living room. The warm wood-like structure really brings out the natural-like fiber structure in the furniture.

Now let’s take a look at those UPGRADE, like the kitchen cabinets.

imageHey! Somebody stole some stainless after all, as well as the refrigerator!

What’s with the blue-green metallic dishwasher?  Maybe that was a close-out on somebody’s dream house who ran out of cash equity to borrow against. Then the dishwasher found its way here because it’s such a high-class appliance, who cares if it doesn’t match the cabinets or the range or the missing fridge? That’s a BUSINESS POORTUNITY.

Now I am really wondering what color the refrigerator was.  At this rate I expect it was candy-apple red metalflake.

imageThis yard picture is so perfect in so many ways. How do I count thee, mismatched patio sections, trellis suggestive of incarceration, and those trash cans in the back yard instead of hidden along the side.

Think of how convenient it is to have the trash receptacles right on the patio for your next outdoor fete!  None of your guests will be holding empty hors d’oeuvres plates for hours while making small talk through tight smiles.

And holy moley, couldn’t the agent bother to put the hose away for this photo?

imageFinally, here’s the location, location, location for your BUSINESS POORTUNITY!  And the homeloaner must have a sixth sense for these poortunities, because that living room Pergo is in the converted garage as well as one of the bedrooms, too!  The stuff might have fallen off a truck, or else it was a huge spaving (spend lots to save more)!

One last note: This home isn’t in move-in condition.  It is, instead, READY FOR MOVE IN CONDITION.  Any suggestions what extra steps must be taken by the sucker lucky buyer who has this place pending?

THANKS FOR VIEWING

Comments (21) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:13 am

February 1, 2011

Bonus Post: Watch This Place Skyrocket!

If you read the news about possible congestion pricing on the San Mateo and Dumbarton bridges, then you’re an informed, savvy real estate investor!  So why not start picking up some Peninsula properties now, because they’re going to be HAWT, HAWT, HAWT!

1227 Sevier Ave, Menlo Park, CA 94025
$380,000

image

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,916
$/SQ. FT.: $198
LOT SIZE: 5,750 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Traditional
STORIES: 2
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1946
COMMUNITY: East of U.S. 101
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81041407
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 165 days

Short sale approved at this price. Large remodeled home with nice touches. Maple cabinets, granite counters, pergo flooring. Great price for this much square footage. Outside needs works in the back. Great Opportunity!!!

See, even the bank knows this one will be selling shortly, so they raised the asking price after the last contract fell through!  I bet those bank vice-presidents know some people on the bridge committee, too!  It really is all about who you know, and this one’s going to be selling for a thousand a square foot real soon now!  Don’t you want to be able to tell your friends that you snagged it at $198 a foot?  Of course you do! Hurry, before something happens in the back, like your worst enemy closing on this place before you can pick up the phone!

This is a no-brainer, everyone!  It’s in Belle Haven, and you know anything French is just tojours l’amour to rich people!  I bet it even includes a free staircase inside!

Comments (13) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:39 am