Donate that unneeded realty to charity!  UCSF is ready to take that spare structure off your swollen asset list.  Thanks to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for passing this handy space-saving tip along.

Not only that, if you donate RBA real estate, you could get your picture in a newletter like this!  There’s more, too!  See, lots of people are giving it away! Don’t be the last on your block to give away your other block!

Do you have any other ideas of what to do with your excess real estate?

Updated 17:53 — PG asked that you be given the privilege of actually reading this newsletter. A larger version of Page 1 is now available by clicking its image above, as well as a larger combined spread.  Here, separately, are Page 2 and Page 3.

Let’s take a break from our Black Friday DEALS and see what a house can look like if you’re willing to spend more than what you find in your sofa cushions.  Instead of scraping the bottom of the barrel, let’s see what you can get for a million and a half.  Thanks very much to Petsmart Groomer for this magnificent Menlo Park megaplex!

1045 WINDERMERE Ave
Menlo Park, CA 94025
$1,549,000

3 Beds 
3.5 Baths 
2,856 Sq. Ft.
$542 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2007 
Lot Size: 8,923 Sq. Ft. 
On Redfin: 77 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Flood Park Area
MLS#: 81234064
Style: Traditional, Craftsman
View: Neighborhood
County: San Mateo

Stunning 5-year-old rebuilt home | 3 bedroom suites & 3.5 ba | Kitchen-family great room | Incredible chef’s kitchen w/ custom cabs, center island, walk-in pantry, high-end stainless appliances incl 6′ wide double fridge | Bonus room off FR perfect for office or play | Fine finishes: 9′ ceilings, rich moldings, plantation shutters, hrdwd flrs, recessed lighting, AC | Great yard | Top MP schools

Isn’t it nice to see a place for sale that doesn’t look like a crime scene?  Don’t you just want to move in here?  We just hope that Flood Park Area is just a neighborhood name and not a description, or worse, an order.

And for this price category, you should, and here you do get some decent real estate photography.  (Although we think this house is  slightly radioactive: look at the sky color change near the roof and especially the trees) Think about some of the places on the sale rack that were shot with a disposable.

Remember, you get what you pay for!  And in this case it’s location, location, location!

Or should that be LOLcation?  Guess that explains the chef’s kitchen w/custom cabs.

It’s time for your weekend!  How about spending it somewhere exciting, like the big city?  (Noooo, we do not mean San Jose.) We’re willing to go toe to toe with the San Francisco real estate blogs when we have to, and when we have to is when it comes to listing fail.  Here’s an Unhappy Hipsters-inspired example of Better Living Through Concrete, courtesy of Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer.  Thanks very much for this snug single in SF!

766 Harrison St
San Francisco, CA 94107
$349,000

HOA Dues: $265/mo.
0 Beds
1 Baths
292 Sq. Ft.
$1,195 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 2008
Lot Size: —
On Redfin: 1 day
Status: Active
HOA Dues: $265/month
Style: Contemporary, Modern/High Tech
County: San Francisco
Property Type: Condominium, Studio
Community: Yerba Buena
MLS#: 402288

Architec-designed living in the heart of SOMA. Cubix is a contemporary community located in th Yerba Buena Arts District. George Hauser designed this modern studio resindence which faces Northwest. Stylishly appointed home with concrete radient heat floors, newly upgraded full kitchen with Bosch appliances and cabinetry, and a balcony. Rare storage is included. Green building features lansdcaped roof deck, BBQ, glass-enclosed outdoor picnic area for private parties, succulent garden. Epicenter Cafe is conveniently located on the first floor. Great location next to Whole Foods, SFMOMA, Metreon.

Not only is it architec-designed, it looks like it was architec-spellchecked as well.  This resindence features radient heat floors and a lansdcaped roof deck.  It also features architec-design suggestive of The Stacks.

One way you know there was an architec involved: lots and lots and lots of pictures of a 292 square foot condo.  Bunus: a price per square foot that gives Palo Alto a shove in the shoulder and says, “Can you beat that? Huh? Huh? Can you?”

Thanks to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for bringing this to our attention.  Seems all isn’t as perfect as proclaimed in Palo Alto.

Residents fight burglaries with lights, cameras, action

Neighbors devising crime-fighting strategies

by Sue Dremann, Palo Alto Weekly Staff, Friday, October 5, 2012, 8:59 AM

Many Palo Alto neighborhoods are organizing in ways they have not since the rise of Neighborhood Watch programs in the 1980s, following a string of home burglaries that have plagued the city.

From surveillance cameras to neighborhood-warning signs, residents are strategizing to deter and perhaps even catch the thieves, who have made off with tens of thousands of dollars in jewelry, cash and electronics since late last year.

Email lists from Crescent Park to Barron Park are crackling with the latest news about suspicious vehicles cruising residential streets. Last week, concerned north Palo Alto residents discussed a white van seen on their streets and gave information about it, complete with license number, to the Palo Alto police.

Neighbors’ increasing vigilance might help nab thieves like the ones who on Sept. 24 pilfered UPS parcels from a Crescent Park front porch within 30 seconds of the delivery. The resident, who asked that her name and home information not be made public, has shared images from her surveillance video with her neighbors and with police, she said.

What’s this? Crime rate up in Palo Alto, the most perfectest amazingest, wonderfulest Specialiest place in the universe? Nooooooooooo!

But we here at Burbed are confident that this approach of crowd-sourcing suspicious incidents will lead to these lowlife scum getting caught… until, as is often the case with crime in a wealthy neighborhood, the victims discover that the perpetrators were the teenaged children of their own neighbors.  We already know what those spoiled brats have been up to, hurling milkshakes at innocent pedestrians.

And don’t get too smug looking at that incident map on the top right. While that was what spotcrime.com generated for “Palo Alto, CA,” entering specific zip codes yields more crime events away from the Middlefield and Embarcadero area.   This incident map for 94301 shows more burglary and theft further northwest, and in only half the time period covered.

And dang it, that time period reported just missed the hurled milkshake.  But good news. There has been at least one arrest for car burglary.

Good morning, and welcome back to another exciting Real Estate Week of Win here on Burbed!  Let’s get right to today’s spotlighted spectacular in the palatial premises of Palo Alto!  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for the drive-by!

3980 El Cmaino Real #13
Palo Alto, CA 94306
$20,000

Property Type: Mobile Home (Single Wide)
County: Santa Clara
Community: Barron Park
MLS#: 81230106

Palo Alto Schools for a rental cost of $675/month! By renting in this park, children eligible to attend Palo Alto Schools. Family of 4 with children attending Palo Alto Schools moving so now you can enjoy a million dollar education without the million dollar home purchase price! Laundry facilities in park. Good family park with good neighbors all getting along. Walk to Elementary school.

Wait, you can still buy a home in Palo Alto for a million?  Who knew?  Let us know if you have any success finding one.

And if you can’t, there’s always today’s featured home!  This property shows the benefits of jaw-dropping listing copy coupled with a misspelled street address, photos with plenty of clutter,  the mandatory crapper-cam with the lid fully raised  and proudly proclaiming its crappertude, and most important of all, good neighbors all getting along.  All this at an unbelievably affordable buy-in price and a monthly space rent that will no doubt be ratcheted up the split second you finish signing over that escrow.

But this is a good family park.  It says so, right in the listing.  And it must be, because we’ve featured this park on Burbed before.

Want to see how good this neighborhood is?  Well then, why not meet a couple of your new neighbors?  We’re sure they can’t wait to make the acquaintance of you, and especially the rest of your family. 

Let’s continue our trip up and down the housing food chain.  Earlier this week we had a genuine crapbox.  Yesterday we had a mid-priced property in a neighborhood without a name (and it really says something for the Silicon Valley housing market that a million dollar property in an unremarkable part of San Jose is considered mid-priced at a million dollars).

Today we’re back to another Burbed favorite: the non-moving high end.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for this lovely landscape in Los Altos Hills.

12859 NORMANDY Ln
Los Altos Hills, CA 94022
$6,195,000

BEDS:  6
BATHS:  6.5
SQ. FT.:  7,333
$/SQ. FT.:  $845
HOA DUES:  $300/month
LOT SIZE:  1.21 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 3
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT:  2005
COMMUNITY:  Los Altos Hills
COUNTY:  Santa Clara
MLS#:  81216432
SOURCE:  MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN:  90 days

This stunning custom home is a masterpiece of East Coast-influenced architecture. The main residence features, 5BR/5.5BA + wkout rm (could be 6th BR), private office, a Media rm, large recreation rm & sep wine cell. Darling 1BR/1BA gst hs. Gorgeous landscaped grounds w/ sparkling pool/spa, exceptional terrace w/ fireplace, outdoor kit. & fountain. Detached 3-car gar w/ large workrm. Close in location

Other than the mildly radioactive trees on the grounds, this housing tumor photographed nicely.  There is the matter of the $300 homeowner’s association fees, not something one expects with a six million dollar property. 

Wonder just what the Normandy Lane Association gives you for the privilege?  Maybe they send someone over every month to spray paint the sod this exact shade of green not otherwise found even on a golf course.

And the reason PG sent it in?  Location, location, location!

We’ll finish out our weekend with this find close to everything!  At least close to what matters.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for today’s listing.

579 MCCARTY Ave
Mountain View, CA  94041
$849,900

 

BEDS:  3
BATHS:  2
SQ. FT.:  1,194
$/SQ. FT.:  $712
LOT SIZE:  5,035 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Ranch
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT:  1957
COMMUNITY:  Downtown
COUNTY:  Santa Clara
MLS#:  81216279
SOURCE:  MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN:  78 days

Absolutely stunning & charming home adjacent to Old Mountain View. Great curb appeal. Remodeled kitchen with granite slab countertops, stainless appliances & travertine floor. Other features include beautiful hardwood floors, crown mouldings, dual paned windows, remodeled bath with spa tub. Huge rear deck perfect for entertaining. Two finished outbuildings w/ power-perfect home office, studio or playhouse.

It’s always a pleasure when a place we’ve already visited comes back to us, like a disagreeable meal or a reanimated zombie.

Except this time it’s got $30,000 more value than six years ago!  Hurry!  Now here’s why PG sent in this property:

“Absolutely stunning & charming home adjacent to Old Mountain View.” – I can think of a couple of other things it is adjacent to…

Let’s find out!  Burbed Sky 3 crew is on scene!

Here’s a San Francisco Super Special, courtesy of Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer!  Thanks very much for finding more listings for over a thousand a foot!  Too bad this one is… you guessed it.  Pending!

501 Beale St Unit 10h
San Francisco, CA 94105
$1,174,900

BEDS:  2
BATHS:  2
SQ. FT.:  1,161
$/SQ. FT.:  $1,012
HOA DUES:  $750/month
LOT SIZE:  -
PROPERTY TYPE: End Unit, Luxury, Condominium
STYLE: Contemporary
VIEW: Panoramic, City Lights, Bay, San Francisco
YEAR BUILT:  2006
COMMUNITY:  South Beach
COUNTY:  San Francisco
MLS#:  397084
SOURCE:  San Francisco MLS
STATUS: Pending
ON REDFIN:  55 days
Beautifully staged by Arthur McLaughlin. Corner unit at the Watermark. Panoramic views to East & South. Large private balcony. Maple floors, marble baths, Lutron lighting, s/s appliances, custom window coverings, 24 concierge, fitness center, pool & BBQ.

And here’s why PG brought you this confounded contemporary condo:

Because who staged the place is very important!

Almost as important as how much the HOA dues are on this puppy: $750 a month!  Which is actually a bargain, because that includes two bedrooms, two bathrooms, and most of all, one, count ‘em, ONE parking space!

But who knew that San Francisco could cost almost as much as Mountain View?

Must be because of million dollar views like this one.

Today’s listing is another outlier to the hot, hot, HOT housing market in Mountain View.  Maybe you can spot what’s wrong with this house, because just about everything else is flying off the shelf.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for this leftover listing.

590 PENNY Ln
Mountain View, CA  94043
$825,000

BEDS:  3
BATHS:  2.5
SQ. FT.:  1,196
$/SQ. FT.:  $690
HOA DUES:  $174/month
LOT SIZE:  3,255 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Contemporary
STORIES: 2
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT:  2002
COMMUNITY:  Rengstorff
COUNTY:  Santa Clara
MLS#:  81214154
SOURCE:  MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN:  68 days

Welcome to Penny Lane, where homeowners can enjoy living in the heart of Silicon Valley. New construction home replete with modern amenities and detached garage.

Replete?  Somebody was paying attention when those SAT words were passed around.

Now we need another word for wtf is going on with the garage (above).  The Beatles song it calls to mind is NOT “Drive My Car” because you’re never going to get it past those killer zombie vines.

Here’s a picture of the front of the house, just in case you suspect the agent took that bizarre first shot because there’s something to hide.

Oh no, it’s too late!  The whole house is GONE!  If you can hack your way through, maybe there’s a sleeping princess in there.  Could it be Lovely Rita?

Here’s a place in Mountain View that’s NOT PENDING YET.  Yes, you could buy this home today (unless it goes pending at 8:01 AM, so why wait?)  We had to work hard to find such a property, so you know this is a really Special find.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for passing this one along.

821 CENTRAL Ave
Mountain View, CA 94043
$899,000

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,733
$/SQ. FT.: $519
LOT SIZE: 4,550 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1946
COMMUNITY: North Shoreline
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81217517
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 32 days

Walk 2-blocks to Vibrant Downtown Castro Street & Caltrain! 1733sf Includes Both Remodeled 3b/2ba House PLUS Detached 1b/1ba Guest Cottage w/ Separate Entrance. Hardwood Floors, Granite Countertops, Recessed Lights, French Doors, Dual-Pane Windows, Fenced Back Yard w/ Inviting Patio/Deck. ATTENTION INVESTORS – Estimated Rent ~$5000/mo. + (Main House ~$3600/mo. + & Cottage ~$1400/mo. +)

So the home is close to restaurants and transportation, plus it has rental income,  What’s not to like?  Let’s ask PG:

Air National Guard recruitment office as a neighbor

By “neighbor” did you mean “same block” or did you mean “next door”?

Ah.  The Thai Restaurant is pretty good, though.  Good enough to guarantee overflow parking on both sides of Central.  And if you’re feeling patriotic, the folks next door would love to have a word, anytime.