It’s been far too long since we’ve heard from Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer.  PG has been sending in some great finds that are often pulled off MLS by the time we’re ready to give them some good ol’ Burbed lovin’.  But this one was willing to stay put long enough for a big ol’ sloppy Burbed kiss.

651 E MEADOW Dr
Palo Alto, CA 94306
$1,267,000

BEDS: 5
BATHS: 3
SQ. FT.: 2,438
$/SQ. FT.: $520
LOT SIZE: 6,572 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Contemporary
STORIES: 2
YEAR BUILT: 1956
COMMUNITY: Midtown
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81200978
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 9 days

Welcome to this spacious home featuring 5 bedrooms & 2 separate offices with 3 full bathrooms. This special home has a large living room and a fireplace, a convenient separate family & inside laundry room. Attached one car garage w/ ample extra storage. Nice sized patio and fenced yard with mature landscaping and fruit trees. Close to parks & excellent Palo Alto Schools – buyer to verify schools.

This house is Special, the listing copy says so.  The above pictures showcase the luxurious living you get for one and a quarter million dollars.

Or as PG says, “Simply beautiful.”  Let’s see if the Redfin agent agrees.

But the closest schools are a fifth of a mile away, if we go by Redfin’s own school information.  Could the agent have been referring to this place directly across the street?  It looks a church-run day care center.

Oh good, they take older kids as well as babies.  So you’ll be guaranteed to be running into extra traffic at both ends of your commute, and most of the time in between.  It’s the little touches like these that make this house so Special.

Plus, the current owners are taxed on a $100K assessment.  Buy this house, remove one more Prop 13 entitlement boomer, and help balance the City budget!

Today’s find is from Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer!  No house, but you get to use your imagination coming up with the best design to fit this location, location, location!

1544 Woodland Ave, East Palo Alto, CA 94303
$100,000

BEDS: –
BATHS: –
SQ. FT.: –
LOT SIZE: 0.62 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Residential Land (Single Family)
COMMUNITY: West of U.S. 101
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81142619
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Pending Without Release
ON REDFIN: 67 days

A wooded terraced landscape located along San Francisquito Creek bordering Crescent Park, one of Palo Alto’s finest neighborhoods and across the street from the University Circle office complex, home of the luxurious Four Seasons Hotel of Silicon Valley.

It looks tranquil enough, as long as it isn’t in that Special Flood Zone we keep hearing about; whoops, it’s “In Flood Plain” according to the listing information.  Plain, not Special at all.  But if you don’t like the house you end up building here, check into the hotel across the street!

Now, what kind of building would you site on this lot?

Maybe a spaghetti factory?  Does it matter, really?  It’s bordering one of Palo Alto’s finest neighborhoods!

Did you ever shop at a warehouse club and have to buy three of something when one was all you needed?  This listing, sent in by Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer, will make you feel like you’re caught in the gloomy caverns of Costco.  Only it’s real estate, so it will cost more than $200 to pass GOogle.

This may be the cheapest house in Mountain View, if you buy in bulk!

674 WILLOWGATE St, Mountain View, CA 94043
$1,250,000

BEDS: 6
BATHS: 3
SQ. FT.: 720
$/SQ. FT.: $1,736
LOT SIZE: 0.32 Acres
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1965
COMMUNITY: North Shoreline
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81112528
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 256 days

THREE 2 BEDROOM 1 BATH HOMES ALL UPDATED IN WALKING DISTANCE TO DOWNTOWN MOUNTAIN VIEW. ALL HOMES HAVE THERE OWN GARAGES. AMPLE INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITIES . MATURE LAND CONVENIENTLY LOCATED TO CENTRAL EXPY AND 85 YET STILL PRIVATE. LIVE HERE AND RENT OUT OR RENT OUT ALL 3 ENJOY THE LOCAL TRAILS AT DAY & DINE DOWNTOWN AT NIGHT. BUYER TO VERIFY SF. EXPENSES BASED UPON SELLERS EST.

Take that, Palo Alto!  This place is listed at a whopping $1736 a square foot!  In your dreams beating this one!

I can’t understand why these bargain has been wasting away on Redfin for so long?  Three different houses, if you get tired of one, then move into another one!  Rent out one, two, or all 3!

Haven’t you always wanted to be a slumlord?  This is your chance to get in at the ground level.

And talk about location, location, location?  Just steps away from the train station!

You’re going to have to step across Central Expressway, but that will get you into great shape fast!

Today’s find continues our pre-Thanksgiving run of prices on the higher side, in preparation for our upcoming Black Friday Sales.  Many thanks to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for this beauty in Belmont!

1824 HILLMAN Ave, Belmont, CA 94002
$1,678,500

BEDS: 4
BATHS: 3
SQ. FT.: 3,820
$/SQ. FT.: $439
LOT SIZE: 8,900 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Contemporary
STORIES: 2
VIEW: Bay, City Lights
YEAR BUILT: 1979
COMMUNITY: Belmont Country Club
COUNTY: San Mateo
MLS#: 81140955
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 58 days

OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS to own this spectacular spacious one-owner executive home with stunning Bay and City views. The contemporary European design with generous functional living space provides for a relaxed and inviting ambiance. The upstairs features a living room with vaulted beam ceiling and stone fireplace, formal dining room, large kitchen with hardwood floors, ample storage and dining area.

A few years ago, I met some neighbor parents when one of my kids befriended their kids, and we got to talking about real estate.  The dad was going on and on about how ridiculous it was that all he could afford was a dinky little tract house.  “I am a Vice President!  I should be living in an Executive Home!  Not here!”

Now I never asked him what he meant by “Executive Home.”  He probably meant a big, new house, on a big lot close to a golf course.  He sure didn’t mean his late-50s rancher with second story addition, on a lot closer to a fifth than a quarter acre.

I wonder if today’s house would have been acceptable to him, or if it’s still too close to the (gasp) worker bees.  Anyway, the guy and his family soon moved back to San Diego (where he could buy himself an Executive Home on a golf course, but then again, by 2003 so could almost anyone else).  I wonder what he thinks of Occupy San Diego?

Weren’t executives, at least back in the good old days, famous for having three-martini lunches?  Well, the bar’s all ready in this house!  Now, which is worse, the carpet or the wallpaper?

We have plenty more photos after the break!

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Remember when we took a good look at “Santa Row” to see how the prices were holding up?  The original oughties buyers probably weren’t too happy with their investments in San Jose’s answer to the Faubourg Saint-Honoré district.  (Paris’ response to that provocation is not printable.)

Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer has another Santana Row Spectacular for you today.  Thanks very much for finding this amazing listing at a seriously WTF price.

 

356 SANTANA Row #315, San Jose, CA 95128
$1,324,950

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2.5
SQ. FT.: 2,161
$/SQ. FT.: $613
LOT SIZE: 435 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Townhouse
STYLE: Contemporary, Mediterranean
STORIES: 4-8 (Mid Rise)
VIEW: Mountains, Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 2002
COMMUNITY: Campbell
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81104502
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 274 days

LUXURIOUS TOWNHOME IN VILLA CORNET SITS IN THE HEART OF FAMED SANTANA ROW * THIS 3 BED 2.5 BATH PROPERTY IS PRICED TO SELL * SECURED BUILDING WITH UNDERGROUND PARKING SPOTS * GRANITE SLAB KITCHEN WITH STAINLESS APPLIANCES * 2 PATIOS * THIS IS AN AMAZING PRICE * * * NEEDS A LITTLE TLC * * *

Here’s what PG thought about this LUXURIOUS TOWNHOME:

They’re right about one thing: THIS IS AN AMAZING PRICE

Check out the sold prices for the entries on Santa Row then and now – Santana Row took a serious beating.

Yes, do check them out, and tell us what this seller is thinking?  Must be spending too much time at the bars conveniently just steps away!  But if the previous owner could make a profit buying in 2005 and selling in 2008 at a 20% markup, the current seller has correctly figured it out: This Place Is Special.  So Special that this bedroom at right can also function as an office and an exercise room!

And while you’re deciding whether you’d love to have the nightlife of San Jose combined with the traffic problems of living near the intersection of two major freeways, check out the $950 monthly HOA fees combined with needing court confirmation to buy this place.  And to really appreciate the location, location, location of this home, today’s listing is in the complex right above Borders.  Borders closed this Spring in advance of the whole chain shutting down.

Thanks very much to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for this Santa Clara charmer.

 

248 KELLOGG Way, Santa Clara, CA 95051
$829,000

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,388
$/SQ. FT.: $597
LOT SIZE: 6,710 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Ranch
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1958
COMMUNITY: Santa Clara
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81143461
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 1 day
NEW LISTING (24 HOURS)

Bright and Beautiful Family Home with Magnificent Upgrades. Recently Remodeled Kitchen and Baths include Granite Counters and Extended Solid Wood Cabinets. Enlarged Shower in Master. Central A/C. Recessed Lighting. Energy Saving Dual Pane Windows. Hardwood Flooring. Ceiling Fans in Each Room. (6)Panel Doors. (2)Car Garage with Enlarged Driveway. Park-Like Backyard. Cupertino Schools!

This house might have Magnificent Upgrades, but you’re going to have to take this agent’s word for it.  There are no photos of the inside of the house or the Park-Like Backyard.

Instead, the photos are of the only thing that justifies spending eight hundred thousand dollars on a fifty year old house that’s probably smaller than this place’s spice rack.

This agent doesn’t want you accidentally buying the house with Santa Clara schools and Cupertino utilities, so you probably ought to overbid an extra $50K just to show your appreciation.

Any suggestions just what that is on the front lawn?  Is it a Chia shed?

Here’s another find from Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer, with many features you’re unlikely to find in the tract homes of the South Bay.

 

4033 18th St, San Francisco, CA 94114
Listed for $839,000, Sold for $824,000

BEDS: 2
BATHS:  1
SQ. FT.:  –
LOT SIZE:  –
PROPERTY TYPE:  Condominium
STYLE:  Victorian
YEAR BUILT:  1900
COMMUNITY: Eureka Valley/Dolore
COUNTY:  San Francisco
MLS#:  384248
SOURCE:  San Francisco MLS
STATUS: Sold

Welcome to 4033 18th Street. This pre-1900 Victorian condo delivers the best in urban living. The open floor plan combines the kitchen and living room into a generous open space accentuated by exceptionally tall ceilings. The bedrooms are large in size and each has a closet that can double as a sunroom or office. This home has hardwood floors, in unit washer/dryer, stainless appliances, granite countertops and an amazing designer shower. There is a shared rear patio with direct access to deeded side-by-side parking. Walk Score is 100!

You get so much less house for your money in San Francisco, but they make up for it by showing more pictures on the MLS.  This condo, which is so small they won’t even tell us how many square feet it is, still manages to come up with 22 pictures by showing 6 views of every room.

Plus each large in size bedroom has a closet, you know, a small windowless area to store things, except these small storage rooms in San Francisco can double as a sunroom or an office.

I guess closet means something very different in San Francisco than it does in the South Bay, and that might explain why Tom Cruise doesn’t want to come out of his.

Here’s another fine listing from Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer, who appreciates this agent’s honesty in listing copy.

 

2362 LAURA Ln, Mountain View, CA 94043
$634,950

BEDS: 3
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,104
$/SQ. FT.: $575
LOT SIZE: 5,000 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1955
COMMUNITY: Thompson
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81138357
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 4 days

Fixer-upper – situated in a pleasant setting on a tree shaded cul-de-sac lot. Improvements in progress. Fully functional, but desperate for a kitchen makeover, and a remodeled master bath.

Is the house desperate for both a kitchen makeover and a remodeled master bath?  Is it desperate for a kitchen makeover, and it HAS a remodeled master bath?  How desperate are you?  How desperate is the agent to sell this place, when he only gave us three photos to help make up our minds?

As to the existing kitchen: WOW.  Colors that POP and appliances that STAND OUT.  I swear, I’ve seen appliances on porches in Kentucky that are more up to date than this range.

Maybe the agent isn’t being as honest as Petsmart Groomer suggests.  Maybe just as when an agent says “up to date” and you observe a kitchen with the latest 1974 fixtures, when this agent says “desperate” he really meant “If you don’t rebuild it the split second you remove the contingencies, someone’s toddler will sneeze on these single-pane windows and the whole house will pancake.”

Mmmm, pancakes!  Better makeover the kitchen if you want some!

Meanwhile, I’m hoping this agent takes more photos of the house.  A few more of them should help hold the house together.  They’d have to be stronger than those windows.

Last week we featured a home in Sunnyvale with a series of deep price cuts, and asked what was wrong with the house that required a 30% price cut.  Here’s an even more extreme example.  We had to go a little (okay, more than a little) further afield this time, so please enjoy this listing courtesy of Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer!

 

22 STORY Rd, Carmel Valley, CA 93924
$439,000

BEDS: 5
BATHS: 3
SQ. FT.: 3,258
$/SQ. FT.: $135
LOT SIZE: 1 Acre
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Ranch
STORIES: 2
VIEW: Valley
YEAR BUILT: 1962
COMMUNITY: Village Views
COUNTY: Monterey
MLS#: 81102444
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 221 days

This bank owned home in the heart of Carmel Village features over 3200 sq ft of living space on a 1 acre property. Home has 5 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, separate family room, an oversize office above the 3 car garage. This is a great opportunity and a contractors dream.

One the great realignments after the housing bubble popped was the death of the exurbs.  Homes requiring far-flung commutes were no longer desirable, while closer-in properties held their values better. 

Monterey County was hit with a double-whammy.  Not only are people less willing to drive a long way to work in Silicon Valley, the entire county is being hit extra hard by the new conventional mortgage limitations that are scheduled for October 1st (and already implemented by several large banks).  In most of the high-priced Bay Area, this limit is lowering from $729,750 to $625,500.  But Monterey County now has a much lower median home price than the Bay Area counties to the north, so they are being cut all the way back to the default limit: $417,000. If you want to borrow more than $417,000, you’ll have to get a jumbo mortgage.

Meanwhile, a much higher number of homes in Monterey County are under water (the FB owes more than the house worth) than in the Bay Area counties (Solano County is a special case). 

But what happened to this house?  Here’s the listing history from Zillow.

That’s some price chopping! And not mentioned in the Zillow history, but on Redfin, is when the homeloaner stopped fighting the inevitable:

So not only was this house not worth the $1.65M the owners wanted when they were trying to sell it themselves, it’s not clear it’s worth much more than a quarter of that now that the bank has it. 

Let this be a lesson to you.  Don’t build a big ol’ house on an acre of land and then put in linoleum everywhere.  Also, don’t buy a house on a street with the same name as an infamous one in a really crappy part of San Jose.

Or at least do a better job of hiding your mistakes.  Is it 22 Story or 2 Stories?  Can a 2 Story house be a Ranch Style?  How about a 22 Story house?

Meanwhile, what do you think this house is going to sell for?

Here’s a listing with a rather intriguing backstory.  I wonder if any heads will roll over this monumental mismanagement in Mountain View.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer for sending this in.  Except what PG sent in isn’t what you’ll see when check out the Redfin link.

 

505 CYPRESS POINT Dr #30, Mountain View, CA 94043
$220,000

BEDS: 1
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 645
$/SQ. FT.: $341
LOT SIZE: 2,000 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Condominium
STORIES: 1-3 (Low Rise)
YEAR BUILT: 1971
COMMUNITY: North Shoreline
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81135529
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 7 days

Beautiful 1 bedroom and 1 bath, single story townhome. Spacious living room, nice and quiet neighborhood. Prefect for 1st time home buyers. Great location, close by parks, schools and shoppings. Must See Now!

Um, okay, yet another cubicle condo so your homelife can be just like your work life.  But what PG sent me isn’t what’s on Redfin now.  Here’s what was sent in:

Update: lots of photos follow, so come see them after the break.  This is kinder to the front page in the true Real Bay Area Spirit.  Or something.

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