August 16, 2013

Weekend Retreat Property at Undisclosed Address

And it’s Friday again! Let’s wrap up the workweek with another vacation/weekend/check-out-of-the-rat-race property far from the clogged freeways and three Starbucks per business district. Thanks very much to Burbed reader Tom Paine for sending in this relaxing retreat so private, the realtard doesn’t want you to know where it is.

130815-templeman-redfinUndisclosed Address
Forestville, CA 95436
$630,000

4 Beds
3 Baths
2,500 Sq. Ft.
$252 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1956
Lot Size: 1 Acre
On Redfin: 84 days
Property Type: Residential, Detached, Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: Russian River
MLS#: 21311796
Style: Ranch
View: Pasture, Other
County:
Sonoma

Great area! 1 acre parcel, Extensive work has been performed in upgrading this ranch style country home which includes Chinese oak flooring in living room & formal dining area, paver tile floors in kitchen & main bath, radiant heat, jetted tub, game room, separated extended living areas at rear of home(great for in-laws, caregivers, guests, etc. ) attached shop & garage, circular drive, outbuildings, metal roof and room for everyone & everything

130815-templeman-hottub-guestOh heck, we’ll disclose it: 8426 Templeman Road.  And what’s with this Chinese Oak flooring? Is that anything like Chinese drywall? Similarly, pavers in the kitchen? Is this a thing, like metal roofs?

Now let’s hear from Tom.

What could be more charming than a picture of a sleeping pig next to the hot tub? You need never bathe alone…

This is a Russian River resort (if by Russian River resort, we actually mean a place that’s more than 2 miles from the closest approach of the Russian River). Just wait for the river to crest and you need never skip bathing.  And by “you” we mean both you and the pig.

Comments (1) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:10 am






August 15, 2013

Flowing open floor plan in the far-flung exurbs

We have been spending FAR too much time in Silicon Valley. Let’s take a look at a property far away from Google in the far-flung San Jose exurbs. Or would that be Mountain View exurbs, given our comments about San Jose yesterday? This one’s a good fifty miles from Downtown SanHo, so it definitely is a long enough commute to be beyond a mere suburb. And like most exurban homes, it’s bigger than the usual Monta Loma Eichloid.  Whoops, Pending, even in the exurbs!

Thanks very much to Burbed reader amer_icongrl for today’s listing!

130814-17th-redfin1571 17th Ave
San Francisco, CA 94122
$1,049,000

3 Beds
3 Baths
2,140 Sq. Ft.
$490 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1930
Lot Size: —
On Redfin: 26 days
Status: Pending
Property Type: Single-Family Home
Community: Inner Sunset
MLS#: 410598
View: Panoramic, Water, Ocean
County: San Francisco

Panoramic ocean views are just the beginning in this exceptional Spanish Mediterranean home on a premier 17th Ave block. With a flowing open floor plan, 3 bedrooms, 3 baths, wood burning fireplace, and hardwood floors throughout, there is everything needed for gracious living. Enjoy the views from enclosed sun porches and dine casually in the eat-in kitchen.

130814-17th-sunporchYou’re going to have to enjoy views from the enclosed sun porches because this house doesn’t have a lot size. Oh, wait, the public records say it’s 3,000 square feet.

You’re welcome.  Here’s a typical example of the spectacular sunshine you’ll enjoy on the sunporches when you’re 50 miles from San Jose.

Now let’s hear from amer_icongrl.

17th Ave is the new "Inner Sunset"

130814-17th-stackedI gasped when I saw the location of the stackable washer & dryer.  Also, an overpriced home in SF is no surprise, but typically for 1mil + they put some effort into staging the place (or at the very least, put the toilet seat down).

I just love the "why bother? they’ll come with cash and overbids anyway" attitude!

It’s pending, right?

130814-17th-toiletWait, did you say open toilet? You are talking some serious Burbed win, here.  We’d been doing such a good job educating realtards on basic Dos and Don’ts, (Do include more than one photo, Don’t shoot until you’ve cleaned up the room, that sort of thing) that it’s been ages since we’ve seen a toilet salute.

Thanks for making our day! We’ve added it to our grand collection of Saluting Toilets over on Redfin Collections!

Be sure to check out more of the photos. These are some of the saddest, loneliest listing pictures in a million dollar house we’ve seen in a while. If only this place knew the way to San Jose.

Comments (8) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:10 am

August 14, 2013

Vintage property on Park Avenue, shown by appointmnet only

Sure, Park Avenue is a destination address in The Big Apple. Today’s house, however, is located in a different Big City, namely Wait, That’s A Top Ten City? or as it’s also known, Bigger Than San Francisco? RU SRS?  Being serious, can you name one major company headquartered in San Jose? Neither can we, and we already mentioned a big one named Apple that’s over in Cupertino.  Okay, Adobe, but that’s ONE. There probably aren’t any more.

Meanwhile, we’ve got a Park Avenue property from Burbed reader Swan for you today. Hope you enjoy it as much as we did.  (That is if by “enjoy” we really meant “avoid.”)

130813-park-redfin1083 PARK Ave
San Jose, CA 95126
$599,000

3 Beds
1.5 Baths
1,492 Sq. Ft.
$401 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1925
Lot Size: 6,560 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 97 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Community: Central San Jose
MLS#: 81315666
Stories: 1
County: Santa Clara

Single family home with additional rooms attached to garage. Showing by appointmnet only.

130813-park-fromstreetHere’s Swan’s song:

Saving the best for last, I give you 1083 Park Ave., San Jose. This listing is full of Burbed Win!  First, five beautiful, out of focus pictures of the front of the house. 

Second, there are some fuzzy photos of the interior.  These pictures start off showing what seems to be pretty decent living and dining areas.  Is that a glass of beer on the dining table?  If so, it goes with the beer ad on the TV! 

130813-park-tv130813-park-dining

130813-park-kitchenThe kitchen, other than the post near the refrigerator, isn’t bad either.   In pictures #12 and #13 we are given a slow introduction as to what is to come.  Have you ever watched "Hoarders?"  Well, pictures 14 and 15 could be right out of an episode!

Before you call the cleanup crew, look at pictures 16 and 17.  Apparently only the storage area is a mess because the bathroom and laundry area aren’t too bad.  Notice the toilet seat is up in the bathroom!  Also, does the random arm in #17 count as a Dude Hanging Out? 

130813-park-another-fine-mess130813-park-neat130813-park-bath130813-park-partial-dho

We aren’t done yet!  Check out Streetview for a bunus!! Porta-potty next door!

130813-park-streetview

That’s an even better bunus than a trash bin! Plus… Holy Jughandle, Batman, is that a sound wall? No! It isn’t!

130813-park-laundromat

Wow, this is exciting! Whatever are they building next door? A liquor store? An adult movie emporium? So many exciting possibilities for making new friends!

Comments (7) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:08 am

August 9, 2013

Gingerbread house in beautiful San Bruno: Most unique must see

It’s Friday! Let’s finish up the week with an awesome property from that always hot market on the Peninsula, San Bruno! In fact this place is so on fire that nobody can get near it, and hasn’t for almost a year! Thanks very much to Burbed reader Facebooksux for today’s featured façade.

130808-jenevein-redfin792 JENEVEIN Ave
San Bruno, CA 94066
$989,000

3 Beds
2 Baths
2,960 Sq. Ft.
$334 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1937
Lot Size: 5,000 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 350 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
View: Neighborhood
County: San Mateo
Stories: 1
Community: Huntington Park
MLS#: 81231724

The exterior may look like a gingerbread house with the white picket fence and shutter trim on the outside windows, the front door opens to a most unique home. Everything is custom, a must see home. Huge master bedroom suite with high ceilings and and private spa bathroom. Formal dining room, family room, TV room with wet bar. Eat in kitchen with walk in pantry/laundry area. So much more to see.

130808-jenevein-livingThe front page may look like a well-presented property, but there’s that datestamp in the lower right corner. Pro Tip: Unless you want your buyers to think you shot your listing photos with a disposable camera and dropped them off at Rite-Aid, turn off the danged stamps.

Let’s listen to Facebooksux’s nominating speech.

ALMOST A MILLION BERNANKE BUX FOR SAN BRUNO????!!!!

130808-jenevein-death-by-pillowHopefully there aren’t any leaky gas pipelines beneath the home.

Please use Facebooksux as my name instead of my real name and keep up the good work!!

You mean don’t mention that your real name is – ha ha, gotcha! Kind of like how this house will getcha too.  We are positive these pillows are up to no good.

But even if they can be trusted, there are many dangerous plants that are lying in wait for you. Be very afraid.

130808-jenevein-kitchen130808-jenevein-dining130808-jenevein-purple130808-jenevein-bath

This home has been decorated with such care, it must have been just as thoughtfully situated in its neighborhood, right? Here’s the delightful view from the front door.

130808-jenevein-streetview

So much more to see!

Comments (5) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:08 am

August 2, 2013

San Bruno Spectacular!

We’ve been spending far too much time in Santa Clara County. Let’s head North! No, not that far north, we’ll leave San Francisco and Marin and whatever non-Real Bay Area places near there for another day. There’s so much Burbed Win in San Mateo County you really don’t have to go far to find amazing properties like this one! Thanks very much to Burbed reader waiting_for_the_fall for today’s Bodacious Building in San Bruno!

130801-herman-redfin1013 HERMAN St
San Bruno, CA 94066
Listed for $589,500
Sold for $555,000

4 Beds
3 Baths
1,430 Sq. Ft.
$388 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1938
Lot Size: 2,808 Sq. Ft.
Sold On: Jul 30, 2013
Status: Sold
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
County: San Mateo
Style: Traditional
Community: San Bruno Park
MLS#: 81313967

Remodeled with permits, 4 bedroom, 3 bath, new kit: Granite counters, honey maple cabs, s/s apps. Main Floor:sep din rm, liv rm with marble framed fpl, 2 beds includes master bed , marble tiled bths. Downstairs: 2 beds, fam rm, 3rd bath with travertine tile. New roof, new sewer line, new water supply line, new int and ext paint and doors, new electrical, copper plumbing, and more.

130801-herman-pylonsYes indeed, that is exactly what we had in mind when the Realtard told us this was a “Traditional” San Bruno house. Just wait until you see the “Contemporary” models!

Now, wftf (which is, we swear we are not making this up, wtf with an extra f for emphasis) will explain why today’s house was worthy of your attention.

I found another "gem" for you.  What makes this house so special is the wonderful views out the windows. Check out the 7th picture and the glorious views of freeway pylons out the window. The redfin tour insight would be helpful to someone blind and deaf:

130801-herman-kitchen"A great remodeled unit that is very close to the freeway. Very small corner lot."

Good thing they mentioned it was close to the freeway, I wouldn’t have noticed!

What we want to know is who designed this kitchen. Sorry, we mean who dsgnd this kit remodeled with permits. These are either the skinniest countertops and cabs in the Bay Area, or this is the deepest s/s app, or it’s pulled out from the wall because the seller is about to walk off with it now that the house has sold.

And if you live somewhere that you have to mention your kit was remodeled with permits, you’d better grab it quickly.

Comments (5) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:02 am

August 1, 2013

Currently, a very small rented cottage with basement in Los Altos

We have a very special property for you today!  Burbed reader nomadic must have spied this one on the way back from a lunch meeting. So if you don’t like the very small rented cottage with basement, build something else and skip the kitchen. You won’t need it where we’re going.

130731-acacia-redfin962 ACACIA Ave
Los Altos, CA 94022
$750,000

1 Beds
1 Baths
300 Sq. Ft.
$2,500 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1948
Lot Size: 5,000 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 48 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
County: Santa Clara
Style: Cabin
Community: North Los Altos
MLS#: 81320950

Do not distrub occupants. Small north Los Altos lot 40X125, behind Chef Chu’s, Armadillo’s Willy’s. Currently, a very small rented cottage with basement. Value in the land. Access on Acacia and from the back alley behind restaurants.

130731-acacia-kitchenOh, did we mention where we’re going? It’s the Land of $2,500 a square foot. No wonder you can’t distrub occupants. Now, let’s check in with nomadic.

“Maybe a small home can be built.”  The realtard almost sounds wistful.  The lot is wedged between two parking lots; who in their right mind would want to build a house there?  A business wouldn’t be a practical idea though, because it would have to be quite small and not require more than a couple parking spots.

No more wistful realtard, as that last sentence seems to have been edited out (still on Zillow as we write this). Instead let’s be wistful about the photography.

130731-acacia-take-the-curtain130731-acacia-grounds130731-acacia-hot-water

Remember, Location, Location, Location!

130731-acacia-aerial

Right in the middle of everything, literally just steps away from San Antonio and El Camino Real! Plus there’s a new Safeway across the street! Of course the value is in the land; tear everything down and set up a pay for parking lot! Or build your own restaurant in that small rented cottage! (Wait, did you distrub occupants?)

Bunus round: Try maybe building that small home and see how you fare against the Los Altos Planning Department!

Comments (4) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:04 am

July 27, 2013

Coming to a listing near you

130726-bowers-placementProduct placement in movies and television have been going on for a while.  Remember the Reese’s Pieces in E.T.? If you see a brand in a movie or other video, you can be sure it was put there deliberately.

Well then… why haven’t realtards tried product placement in listing photos? After all, buyers are such a fickle lot, underbidding during bubbles and expecting freebies thrown in like refrigerators and kitchen cabinets when the sellers have every right to keep them. At least if they had product placement to fall back on, there would be some bucks in it for them, whether or not the house sold!

Let’s have a look at a really egregious example of product placement. We’re not talking about a loving paean to Andersen Windows or Bosch dishwashers that are features of the house for sale, either.

130726-bowers-greygoose

130726-bowers-greygoose-farHere’s the Redfin listing, where you’ll find another photo of the booze.  The even better Bunus portion of this amusing photo is where we found this REGULAR SALE!

Would you buy your next house from this realty firm?

And it’s Open Thread time! Tell us what products you saw placed when you looked at open houses!

Comments (7) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:07 am

July 26, 2013

Lovely Livingroom in East Palo Alto

Let’s launch you into your weekend Open Housing with a great find from Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer. Enjoy!

130726-azalia-redfin220 AZALIA Dr
East Palo Alto, CA 94303
$349,000

2 Beds
1 Baths
860 Sq. Ft.
$406 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1951
Lot Size: 5,500 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 24 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
County: San Mateo
Style: Traditional
Community: East of U.S. 101
MLS#: 813236

One Story Home, Two Bedrooms, One Bathroom, Livingroom, Garaga Conversion, Large Back Yard.

Wow, a Garaga Conversion. That sounds ethnic. Maybe they’re saying you can open a restaurant here. That’s why the vehicles in the driveway are featured so prominently.  Because this is what Silicon Valley is all about: starting a business in your garaga, and then converting it into something that is not a garaga. In this case, a Honda.

Comments (2) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:02 am

July 24, 2013

Not a Drive by in Vallejo. More like ez access to GTFO.

There’s Real Bay Area, there’s Almost the Real Bay Area, there’s Might Be Real Bay Area… and then there’s No Way No How is this RBA. Today’s house is definitely in the latter category.  Thanks very much to Burbed reader L in Vallejo for this fascinating find.

130723-ruby-vallejo296 Ruby Ln
Vallejo, CA 94590
$347,000

HOA Dues: $108/mo.
3 Beds
2.5 Baths
1,632 Sq. Ft.
$213 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1992
Lot Size: 6,902 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 15 days
Status: Active
HOA Dues: $108/month
Style: Contemporary
View: Greenbelt, Other
County: Solano
Type: Detached
Stories: Split Level
Community: Crystal Pointe
MLS#: 40621890

Beautiful tri-level home, 3 bedrooms, 2.5 bath 2 car garage attached in a nice quiet cul-de sac. .location , redwood deck 2 fireplaces , well maintained, clean, spacious . .. ez access to Fway. .. not a drive by. .. a must see. ..

Does L think this is a must see? Let’s listen:

130723-ruby-fireplaceYour blog was so refreshing as I went through the home buying process!

So, I know Vallejo isn’t included in the RBA – but enjoyed the listing pictures on this one very much – especially coupled with the copy.

Potential song pairing: Train, "Drive By"

I think my favorite pic is the pillows surrounding the fireplace.

It’s hard for us to choose just one favorite pic, and it was even harder for the realtard to do so.  And she didn’t have to! The same shots appear over and over and over!  For example, here are pictures 3,4,5 and 11.  Also #10 looks suspiciously like #8 above (the pillows undergoing flammability testing).

130723-ruby-bath130723-ruby-blinds130723-ruby-bath2130723-ruby-blinds2

There are 23 pictures in the listing. See how many distinct images there are (hint, fewer than you think!). And yet not one of the ez access to Fway.

130723-ruby-aerial

And that’s not just any Fway, that’s the approach to the Carquinez Bridge! Which means if it’s backed up, you’ll know just by looking down the street!

Comments (8) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:08 am

July 20, 2013

Another fine home!

Today’s Real Estate Photo Win was submitted by Michael Boltonestater, who notes that this screengrab came from the TV show Arrested Development.

130719-carr-foreclosed

Wait, there’s cupcakes at Open Houses? We’ve been seriously missing out! When we visit an Open House, we’re happy if the agent puts out bottled water.

Let us know what kind of snacks you find this weekend, as this is your Weekend Open Thread!

Comments (1) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 7:03 am