May 14, 2010

Drought? What drought? Wash your car twice!

$899,500

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Beds: 3
Baths: 2
Sq. Ft.: 1,406
$/Sq. Ft.: $640
Lot Size: 6,254 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Ranch
Stories: 1
View: Neighborhood
Year Built: 1961
Community: Cupertino
County: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81020758
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active This listing is for sale and the sellers are accepting offers.
On Redfin: 11 days
Gorgeous home in nice neighborhood- Upgraded kitchen w/ maple cabinets, grantnite slab counters, and built-in microwave oven. Recessed lightings. Copper pipes. Dual pane windows & sliding door. Hardwood flooring in living room, Laminate flooring in kitchen & dinning room. Fire Place in living room. Updated all doors. Top Cupertino schools Homestead/Cupertino/West Valley. Easy access to 85/101/280.

Thanks to Burbed reader Madhaus for this guest post. Take it away, Madhaus!

Drought?  What drought?  Wash your car twice!
Admittedly, this is not the year Northern Californians are worrying about water conservation, but it’s only a matter of time before the reservoirs are 20% full and we’ll be calling out Southern California again for stealing our water.  What’s felt like a rainy year is merely 116% of normal San Jose rainfall, and most of our reservoirs are below capacity.

So if you’re worried about buying a new house just for the privilege of watering your own lawn, and then not being allowed to use any water, here is the perfect home for you.

clip_image001You’re probably wondering where the house is in the photo above.  No problem, here’s the “cover photo.”  I just wanted you to admire all that greenery and wonder how you’d keep it that way if we have another low rainfall year.  You could do some “hardscaping” and cover the front lawn with low-maintenance asphalt.  It will look a lot like the photo anyway, since this Realtard wouldn’t invest in a wide-angle lens and took the photo from the sidewalk across the street.
Or, you could take advantage of a terrific feature not called out in the property listing.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, the place has a shower over tub, a dishwasher, sprinklers — although those sprinklers won’t do a lot of good if your water gets rationed.  Are those Real Cupertino Schools going to make up for an eyesore like a dead lawn?
A number of people are going to drive over to check out this property, and most of them are going drive away even faster.  This house has “Easy access to 85/101/280.”  And by easy access, they mean just steps away from 85 and 280!  Just steps!  Close your eyes and pretend you’re hearing the seashore!  And the part about 101?  Well we all know Realtards like to stretch the truth a few miles.
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Okay, okay, so there’s a few too many freeway ramps near the property.  But do you see those big white circles?  Those are WATER TANKS.  A humongous water tank right across the street from you!  Plus a spare!  Are you thinking what I’m thinking?  Are you handy with tools?
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Plus, think of all the shade you’ll get on those hot summer afternoons!

Comments (29) -- Posted by: burbed @ 5:24 am






May 3, 2010

$1.4M house in Redwood City comes with Murphy Bed

Beds: 4
Baths: 2.5
Sq. Ft.: 2,470
$/Sq. Ft.: $565
Lot Size: 10,030 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Craftsman
Stories: 1
View: Neighborhood
Year Built: 1948
Community: Horgan Ranch
County: San Mateo
MLS#: 81021204
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active This listing is for sale and the sellers are accepting offers.
On Redfin: 2 days
Almost new single story home custom built by owner. Tremendous curb appeal, fantasy backyard & ideal floor plan. A rare gem on almost 1/4 acre. Stainless kitchen features 48��� DCS Fisher & Paykel range & huge granite island with seating for 4. Sumptuous master suite boasts spa-like master bath & huge master closet. 3 additional bedrooms, one with built-in desk and Murphy bed. This home is a must see!

Thanks to Burbed reader Nate for this find. This is what Nate had to say:

Sometimes standard realtor-speak isn’t enough to adequately convey the value of a property feature and the agent has to go to the thesaurus for the big-guns.  This is the case with this listing, where phrases like "lush", "expansive" and "professionally landscaped" just don’t do justice to the backyard.  According to the listing, this house has a "fantasy backyard." 

Judging by the picture, it appears the "fantasy" in this case includes a lot of lawn care.

Based on my handy dandy guide to realtor-speak, "fantasy" ranks above terms like "pristine" and "flawless", but indicates slightly less value than yards that are "plantasmical" or "organigastic".
In case you’re wondering, to communicate the ultimate, never-to-be-topped backyard, the phrase is, "A yard of such perfection, a zombie Claude Monet would claw out of his grave to paint it."   

What? You’re not fantasizing about this?

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What are you, some sort of freedom hating terrorist?

Personally, I think the most awesome part of this house is the Murphy bed:

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Just make sure it doesn’t fall on you when you’re at your desk! All for just $1.4M!

Thanks Nate!

Comments (57) -- Posted by: burbed @ 5:16 am

April 23, 2010

Looking to build your own militia compound in San Jose?

4250 MONTEREY Hwy San Jose, CA 95111
$560,900
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Beds: 5
Baths: 2.5
Sq. Ft.: 3,000
$/Sq. Ft.: $187
Lot Size: 1.35 Acres
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Mediterranean
Stories: 2
View: Mountains, Neighborhood, Valley
Year Built: 1947
Community: South San Jose
County: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81012669
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active This listing is for sale and the sellers are accepting offers.
On Redfin: 23 days
Secluded home on a very private lot. See tons of possibilities for this large home in a great location near shopping, dining, freeways, and schools. (Just blocks from Valley Christian Middle/High School. )square footage is an estimate from agents * buyer to verify
Thanks to Burbed reader sonarrat for this find!
 
Here’s what sonarrat had to say:

Satellite map confirms it is actually behind those auto shops at the end of a steep driveway. Perfect as a hideaway for the kingpin of a car theft ring!

Let’s take a look!

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Uh. Hm. Originally I was going to go with a joke about how if you liked the Fast and the Furious, you might like this house… but the more I look at it, the more it appears that this would be a better candidate for someone looking to start their own militia!

But just look at that amazing price. What a steal!n

Comments (29) -- Posted by: burbed @ 5:26 am

April 20, 2010

Living room with easy access to fridge

$1,530,000

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Beds: 3
Baths: 2
Sq. Ft.: 1,800
$/Sq. Ft.: $850
Lot Size: 8,350 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Ranch
Stories: 1
View: Neighborhood
Year Built: 1948
Community: County/Alameda Area
County: San Mateo
MLS#: 81003410
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active This listing is for sale and the sellers are accepting offers.
On Redfin: 73 days
Charming rancher in Las Lomitas School district * * * Extra large lot in a highly desirable location. Hardwood floors, large eat in kitchen with family room, extra large living/dining, wonderful home. Many updates!
Thanks to Burbed reader Nate for this find. This is what Nate had to say:

Not sure if this will make the cut since the house actually looks pretty nice and is a nice ‘hood – but I couldn’t resist because the location of the refrigerator is so epically awful.  If you look at the pics closely, you can see that the refrigerator is outside of the kitchen, with the door just down from the tv in the family room.  The best part is that the kitchen actually looks updated – and the refrigerator in question is of course stainless. 

This place has been on the market for 2.5mos and has had multiple price reductions.  At this point the asking is $155k below what the seller paid at the end of 2007 (he probably thought he was buying the dip).

Let’s take a look in the kitchen first:

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Indeed. No fridge there. Let’s take a look at the “extra large living/dining”:

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Sharp eyes Nate! That would’ve been an easy miss right there.

Frankly, this is perfect for 4/20 day. Got the munchies while watching The Matrix for the 2410th time? No problemo! The fridge is right there!

Comments (182) -- Posted by: burbed @ 5:55 am

April 6, 2010

Gables End 2.0

A special guest post today from Burbed reader Herve! Take it away Herve!

It’s been a while since we last featured our favorite community and I thought it was about time to give everyone an update…

gablesend

First, Gables End went all Web 2.0 on us without any warning. Blog, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube… The Full Monty!

Second, as you can see construction is still going on and advertisement is key with some of the smartest potential census workers holding signs and both 101 South and 101 North being targeted. Over 60% of the units are sold and they are looking for a few angel investors to sweep the last few units. You can get one with a view on the ginormous freeway sign but obviously you’d have to pay extra for that.

It can only mean one thing: they are getting ready for IPO. With a new 4-bedroom floor plan, this can only skyrocket. Booyah!

Comments (52) -- Posted by: burbed @ 5:39 am

March 23, 2010

Free Mini-Golf with purchase of house in Millbrae

Beds: 3
Baths: 2
Sq. Ft.: 1,900
$/Sq. Ft.: $363
Lot Size: 5,100 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
View: Green Belt, Neighborhood
Year Built: 1945
Community: Bayside Manor #2/18
County: San Mateo
MLS#: 81008477
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active This listing is for sale and the sellers are accepting offers.
On Redfin: 20 days
NOT A SHORT SALE ! Upgraded and Expanded home adjacent to large greenbelt. Nice and Clean. Big Kitchen, family room with built in Office Area. Marble, granite, block glass, Tile. excellent landscaped. Beautiful waterfalls, Close to Transportation, BART, Cal-Train, Airport, Millbrae schools. MUST SEE !!

Just when I thought I had seen it all, I saw this house. It’s not often that a house comes with a blast wall to prevent roadside bombings. But in this day and age, you must be prepared for the threat of terrorism no matter where you are. No one is safe.

But wait… there’s more!

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That’s right… this blast wall doubles as an obstacle in your very own miniature golf course at home. MUST SEE indeed! I’m surprised they didn’t mention this in the listing. But that’s ok… they definitely included enough exterior photos to help attract attention (no need for interior ones!)

You know what else you must see? The location!

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Anyone up for some good ol’ plane spotting?

Comments (10) -- Posted by: burbed @ 5:30 am

March 15, 2010

Great deal, great Dutch Angle, all in Hayward

$350,000

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Beds: 4
Baths: 3
Sq. Ft.: 2,161
$/Sq. Ft.: $162
Lot Size: 0.47 Acres
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Traditional
Stories: 1
View: Neighborhood
Year Built: 1952
Community: Alameda County
County: Alameda
MLS#: 81010248
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active This listing is for sale and the sellers are accepting offers.
On Redfin: 4 days
Excellent potential! Huge lot. One house and two studios. Duplex house is rented and one studio. Had approved plans for fourplex. Duplex has been refurbished – new windows, siding, tile, floors, water heaters, appliances and MUCH MORE!!!

Thanks to Burbed reader Ben for this find!

Wow… now this is an amazing deal! Just $350,000 for some prime Hayward property! This is like practically living for free! Light bulbs and alarm bells should be going of for investors!

But wait, there’s more!

Just check out your neighbors!

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Need help with your car? No problem – the guy down the street clearly knows what he’s doing.

Here’s what Ben had to say:

I love reading your blog.  Thanks!
I found a redfin listing where the listing agent must have taken a photography class and learned about the “Dutch Angle.”
The kitchen shot with the cupboard ajar is perfect.

Wow… I wasn’t aware of the Dutch Angle until now! Quick, let’s do a compare:

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Ok… and now a reference pic:

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Wow! That really helps the action quality to the photo! Good job realtor! Maybe next year you can enter into the race for an Oscar!

Comments (4) -- Posted by: burbed @ 5:10 am

March 10, 2010

Affordable house in Oakland – just $99,000!

Beds: 3
Baths: 1
Sq. Ft.: 1,200
$/Sq. Ft.: $82
Lot Size: 1,800 Sq. Ft.
TYPE: Detached
STYLE: Other
STORIES: 1
Year Built: 1910
Community: Oakland
County: Alameda
MLS#: 40451794
Source: EBRD
Status: Active This listing is for sale and the sellers are accepting offers.
On Redfin: 8 days
Call Leon Washington at 510-638-1087 for any questions. Regular sale

Thanks to Burbed reader sonarrat for this find!

Here’s what sonarrat had to say:

Ever wonder how you fit a 1200 sf house on a 1800 sf lot?

yes, that really is the house!

What a curious property! It looks something that would be fitting for the show 24! Is this where the weapons of mass destruction are located? Is this where the “harsh interrogations” happen?

But… no… that really is the house. Go figure!

And… it’s shockingly affordable. At just $82 per square foot, most readers here can probably charge it to a credit card.

Sure… this was probably a zoning mistake:

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But hey, their mistake is your gain! Buy it today and rent it out! Start your slumlording today!

Comments (13) -- Posted by: burbed @ 5:27 am

March 1, 2010

If you like columns, you’ll like this Campbell house

Beds: 5
Baths: 2
Sq. Ft.: 1,900
$/Sq. Ft.: $276
Lot Size: 6,720 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 2
View: Neighborhood
Year Built: 1961
Community: Campbell
County: Santa Clara
MLS#: 80949841
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active This listing is for sale and the sellers are accepting offers.
On Redfin: 119 days
Great Oppertunity to own a spacious home in quite neighborhood. Main level has 3 bed, 1 bath, living room and seperate dinning. Basement: lower level has 2 bedrooms, 1 bath plus extra family room space. dual pane windows. Large yard with space for boat/RV

Wow… check out how classy those columns make this house look. It almost hides the fact that the wall might be coming apart. But as we all know, it’s all about curb appeal!

Who lives there? The pope? The president? Nope… it could be you!

And look! It’s even got bedrooms in the basement! Just look at the funky window! Great for guests or for renting out!

And let’s check out that back yard:

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Hm. Not sure what’s going on there, but that is certainly pretty funky. Maybe someone is building a skateboard park there?

Not that it matters – those columns on the front simply make this house an amazing buy in Campbell!

Comments (18) -- Posted by: burbed @ 5:50 am

February 22, 2010

Affordable house in Burlingame – contractor’s special

Beds: 3
Baths: 1
Sq. Ft.: 1,340
$/Sq. Ft.: $444
Lot Size: 9,400 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Ranch, Traditional
Stories: 1
View: Neighborhood
Year Built: 1941
Community: Burlingame Gardens
County: San Mateo
MLS#: 81005669
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active This listing is for sale and the sellers are accepting offers.
On Redfin: 6 days
CONTRACTOR’S SPECIAL: Turn a blight into a beauty. Deferred maintenance residence on a mixed use street. Triangular shaped lot. Bonus rooms and bath behind garage (legality unknown), some dual paned windows, hardwood floors and period details.

Thanks to Burbed reader Jeff for this find!

Guess what everyone! Burlingame is now officially affordable! You heard it here first.

That stuff in the roof? Probably just some dirt that needs to be painted away. I mean, it’s located a little close to a few cars:

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So… it’s probably just a little soot. Nothing some paint can’t fix.

That said. If you could keep the interior as is, you might be able to charge admission for it:

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Hey… Is that a Hidden Mickey?

I think there’s a lot of potential here. And just think of all the opportunities with that funky interior, and the nifty triangular lot on the outside! The Burlingame Mystery Mansion perhaps?

Comments (5) -- Posted by: burbed @ 5:54 am