June 18, 2013

Lotsa Listing Lunacy in Los Altos!

Let’s take a look at this lovely lienhold in Los Altos. Today’s featured property brings us lots of great photography.  That is if by great we mean some other word, such as “quaint” or “challenging” or perhaps “well-meant.”  Thanks very much to Burbed reader littleoldlady from RBA.

And since this place is already in contract, Redfin isn’t showing it anymore. Helloooooo, Trulia!

130617-morton-redfin1650 Morton Ave
Los Altos, CA 94024
$1,388,000

4 bed / 3 full bath
2,588 sqft
Single-Family Home
Active Contingent
$6,215 / mo
25 days on Trulia
Built in 1955
Neighborhood: South Los Altos
MLS/Source ID: 81317816

1650 Morton Ave DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH-UPGRADE TO YOUR TASTE! This home was extensively remodeled and expanded in 2000. A guest room wing with two separate entrances was added and much of the original house was rebuilt. The finishes and details need attention, but the bones are 130617-morton-hardwoodgood. If you have the vision to imagine your own finishes and colors in place, you could polish this into the gem of the neighborhood, and what a fine neighborhood it is. The kitchen features maple cabinets and a comfortable breakfast area. Granite slab counters would complete the kitchen makeover (and we have a bid of just under $10,000 to supply and install… these). The bathrooms are dated; in fact, the guest bath is so dated it is 1950’s retro! The 130617-morton-kitchenhouse would benefit from interior paint, new windows, extending the wide plank hardwood floors from the living/dining areas or adding new carpet, and bathroom updating. Located on a spacious corner lot of over 10,000 feet, the parcel includes two majestic redwoods, three mature oaks, and three soap bark trees. The trees are near the property perimeter so you can develop the rest of the parcel as you choose. The landscape details and final design are up to you. Priced to allow the new owner the ability to integrate all the details and finishes you desire and still enjoy a valuable acquisition.

130617-morton-paintNow that is one chatty agent. This one went on for more than three picture’s worth of listing copy! Can you imagine having to get in the car and go on a house tour with that dude?  You’ll be glad you brought your earbuds!  Now let’s hear from LOL RBA.

Now wait… I have noticed a pattern in Los Altos. Every nice house gets listed for $1495, or $1498… Then sell then sells for $1750 – $1800. 130617-morton-tileEvery not so nice house gets listed for $1150 and sells for around $1300. What on earth is this terrifying listing? Rebuilt in 2000? Wha’?? What did they rebuild? And is this a nice house, destined to sell for $1750 (um…no) or a not so nice house that will sell for $1300, thereby getting no overbids? Regardless, the house will be in escrow within 7 days, like everything else in the RBA.

I love your blog. My favorite stop with my morning coffee. Your fan.  Sent from my iPad

You know you’re in the Real Bay Area when even the little old ladies correspond with an iPad. And LOL-RBA was correct about the 7 day escrow, or was it more like 7 minutes?

Comments (4) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:07 am






June 17, 2013

A Burbed Classic Design Goes Upscale. Way Upscale.

A little more than a year ago we ran a house that had a most unusual addition.  Remember the Budget-Add-A-Room strategy?  Just back a cheap RV next to the house, and… instant extra living space!  Also instant addition to Best of Burbed!

Hey, for a hundred year old house in the East Bay, this is a possible solution to cramped quarters.  Now imagine what this would look like if some la-di-da designer got ahold of this idea and tried staging it to attract some Twithead with more money than taste or sense.  It would probably look like today’s featured listing.

Thanks very much to Burbed reader Michael Boltonestater for this rip-roaring reboot.

130616-norfolk-redfin55 Norfolk St #101
San Francisco, CA 94103
$599,000

HOA Dues: $400/mo.
1 Beds
1 Baths
— Sq. Ft.
Built: 1995
Lot Size: —
On Redfin: 17 days
Status: Active
HOA Dues: $400/month
Style: Modern/High Tech
County: San Francisco
Property Type: Live/Work Unit, Loft Condominium
Community: South of Market
MLS#: 408810

Think Big in this modern SoMa loft! Polished concrete floors, west-facing industrial windows, soaring ceilings make this live/work space special. Floor-to-ceiling glass windows w/ sliding door leads to private outdoor garden. Fire engine red spiral staircase leads mezzanine Master Suite w/ new carpeting, industrial railings, closet. Rare and unusual Winnebago nook creates a private, enclosed space. Kitchen w/ maple cabinetry, stainless steel backsplash, gas range, dishwasher, microwave. Full bathroom and storage area. Deeded parking and laundry in garage. Located at the western edge of SOMA, 55 Norfolk provides the best of SoMa nightlife, dining, shopping, tech companies. Access to shuttle buses, 101, and Bay Bridge makes commuting easy.

Hope you caught that: Access to shuttle buses. That means Google and Facebook, too!  Now, check out the rate and unusual Winnebago nook.

130616-norfolk-winnebago

Not too many listing photos have to come with safety warnings, either.

130616-norfolk-roof

You can tell from this view that unlike the Castro Valley house, this SF loft/condo had to cut things down. You’re only getting a quarter of a Winnebago. Maybe 3 other units also get the “rare and unusual” nook.

130616-norfolk-side

Note that the house with the entire RV went for above asking.

Comments (7) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:09 am

June 15, 2013

Open House Time. Real Open.

130614-hwy14-wtfSpring Bounce will be over very soon, leading to Summer Bummer. So get your open house visits in while there’s still nothing in inventory because foreigners with suitcases full of cash are buying up everything.  Just think, if Bay Area Bubble continues expanding, you can head to Washington and see home décor like this.

Fortunately, in the Real Bay Area, people do not display amateur carvings of naked women mated to boat prows.  You’re far more likely to find a pinball machine or an open wire closet than hundreds of dollars of wood that would be better used as high-quality flooring.

Let us know what you find in this weekend’s open house visits, because this is your weekend’s Open Thread.  Feel free to open your shirt, lean back and stay a while.

Thanks very much to Christin’s Redfin Collections page Just Wow for featuring this… work of… bark.

Comments (1) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:07 am

June 14, 2013

Game of Thrones in Daly City

130613-parkview-throneWe love featuring all kinds of Bay Area Real Estate win: the bad listing photos, the atrocious listing copy, the ridiculous pricing, the uncorrectable defects better known as location fail, the horrendous décor choices, or any other example of Realty WTF that our readers send us.

Today’s entry will start your weekend off well.  While Game of Thrones just finished its third season on HBO, you can play the game on the Peninsula! Thanks very much to Burbed reader waiting_for_the_fall for this fantastic installment!

130613-parkview-redfin96 PARKVIEW Ave
Daly City, CA 94014
$489,000

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,150 Sq. Ft.
$425 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1922
Lot Size: 3,300 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 40 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Community: ‘Original’ Daly City
MLS#: 81315124
Stories: 1
County: San Mateo

Complete fixer in great Daly City neighborhood. City approved remodel plans in place to create legal 3 bedroom 2 bath. Large corner lot close to transportation and shopping. Detached garage and private, low maintenance yard. Lots of sweat equity in this home ready for the handy buyer!

First let’s have a good look around, especially that low maintenance yard.

130613-parkview-gated130613-parkview-paint130613-parkview-window

What does waiting_for_the_fall have to say about this charming cottage?

I got another one for you.  This one is a real stinker.

Check out the steps up to both toilets.  I’ve heard of toilets called thrones before, but this is taking it a bit too far.  The listing history is like a roller coster.  How can anyone think this crapshack (with toilet thrones!) is worth 489k?!?

130613-parkview-bath130613-parkview-bath2

If anyone buys this house at the listed price, they are mentally insane.

If everyone is high on bubbly, that’s not mental insanity. That’s a day in the Bay Area that ends with “-y”!  Y for Yes We Are!

Comments (2) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:04 am

June 11, 2013

Attention all first-time buyers!

Let’s find out what affordable housing looks like Close to Facebook!  Here’s a honey of a house from Burbed reader Petsmart Groomer. Thanks very much… we think.

130611-wisteria-redfin143 WISTERIA Dr
East Palo Alto, CA 94303
$375,000

3 Beds
1 Baths
1,060 Sq. Ft.
$354 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1952
Lot Size: 5,000 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 6 days
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
Community: East of U.S. 101
MLS#: 81319639
Style: Traditional
View": Neighborhood
County: San Mateo

Attention all first time buyers!!! Diamond in the rough!! "The Gardens Home" Hardwood floors throughout, 3 bedrooms, 1 bath, 1060 square feet on a 5000 square foot lot. Minutes from highway 101, Dumbarton and IKEA. This is a great started home in a well maintained neighborhood!!!

Check it out!

130611-wisteria-side130611-wisteria-floor130611-wisteria-back

Great started home indeed!  Plus, we got 3/4 of a Dude Hanging Out in that… um…guest house.  Which we are absolutely sure has all required permits.  Uh huh.

Comments (7) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:09 am

June 10, 2013

in-ground pool, custom tile entry way

It’s time for another week of Burbed win! You know what that means, right? Sure you do! Today’s fine featured fortress is brought to you by Burbed reader J from Alameda.  Yes, another bit of East Bay win today, in Walnut Creek!

And you know that by “win” we still mean the exact opposite of “win.”

130609-newell-redfin1764 NEWELL Ave
Walnut Creek, CA 94595
$734,900

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,977 Sq. Ft.
$372 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1948
Lot Size: 9,504 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 172 days
Status: Pend-REO
Type: Detached
Stories: 1
County: Contra Costa
Style: Ranch
Community: Parkmead
MLS#: 40598733

This custom home has over 2000 sq ft of living space located in the heart of Parkmead. Home features an open floorplan, custom tile entry way, hardwood floors, sunroom (permits unknown) and updated master bath. The backyard has a in-ground pool. Call today for more information on this great home!!

130609-newell-open-planLet’s have J check in on why another East Bay property when there are so many deserving listings much closer to Google:

How about a nomination for most trips down Pending Lane? And a few price reductions thrown in for good measure.

Theories? Is it the pool? The unknown sunroom permits? Can’t be the freeway noise since it’s at least a block away. The house is on a busy 130609-newell-poolstreet but just doesn’t look so terrible. What am I missing?

Oh, sure, anyone can take a trip down Pending Lane if all you have to do is lounge around on the bank’s inventory.  And anyone can take multiple trips if the house isn’t in the Real Bay Area. RBA houses are in such demand that pushy buyers are known to force their way into bank VPs’ offices at gunpoint and demand they sell them the house at 10% over asking.

What, you think real bank robbers would hit a place like Cupertino?  And if they did, they sure as heck wouldn’t dare try Los Altos.

As to the house: 8 days too soon to call this an Old LIsting. Lot’s 496 feet too small to be “big.”  But, ah, the photos.  We’re talking win.

130609-newell-open-plan130609-newell-corner130609-newell-bedroom130609-newell-doorway130609-newell-kitchen

Comments (2) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:01 am

June 8, 2013

Deserted… We mean Desert Home

It’s the weekend! That means Open House Time! It also means we need to come up with some filler article, because everyone’s too busy planning on visiting Open Houses to spend all day commenting on Burbed.

While you visit homes and plan by how much you’ll overbid, here’s a honey for you to handle. It’s just a short drive out of the Bay Area… and out of Northern California… and out of the LA Basin… and out of the Southland. On the other hand, you literally could pay for this house with money you find under your couch cushions with the E-Z Seller Financing!

Thanks very much to Christin whose Redfin Collection “Just Wow” featured this… um… property.

130607-lorilisa-redfin1 LORI LISA Rd
29 Palms, CA 92277
$9,000

0 Beds
— Baths
400 Sq. Ft.
$23 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1957
Lot Size: 5 Acres
On Redfin: 141 days
Property Type: Residential, Single Family
View: Desert
County: San Bernardino
Style: One Level, Cabin
Community: Wonder Valley
MLS#: DC13006684

Want a secluded cabin on 5 acres next to open desert? This is the one! Has electric in street. The old cabin needs some work but hey it has got 4 walls up, just missing the room. Also on land is out house in pretty good condition. Old stove/bbq thing that is cool and looks like it could be used, inside cabin are old antique stove and sink. Seller will finance this jewel with 20% down @ 7 % interest all due 5 years. From Amboy Road go north on Meriwether Road all the way to the end then take a left on Lori Lisa Road and there is the cabin on the right side.

Jewel indeed, and all you need is $1,800! Look at all you get, in addition to this awesome listing copy!

130607-lorilisa-just-add-room130607-lorilisa-wood-wood-wood130607-lorilisa-cabin130607-lorilisa-cabin2130607-lorilisa-cabin3130607-lorilisa-eddie-albert

But wait! There’s more!

130607-lorilisa-what130607-lorilisa-outhouse130607-lorilisa-stove

Operators – we mean the seller – is, um, are standing by!  As is today’s Weekend Open Thread! Let us know how deserted the Open Houses were you saw today!

Comments (9) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:02 am

June 7, 2013

Vacay of the Day

While we concentrate on housing insanity in the Bay Area, Burbed is a Northern California real estate blog.  So we’re happy to feature this find from Burbed reader Cindy in a likely little holiday spot for you. Remember, great real estate photography can be found everywhere, such as this stunning South Lake Tahoe Spectacular. Head on up and overbid on this one quick!

130606-paloma-trulia830 Paloma Ave
South Lake Tahoe, CA 96150
$349,000

4 bed / 2 full bath
1,606 sqft
Single-Family Home
$1,563 / mo
6 Days on Trulia
205 views
Vaulted Ceiling
Deck
Status: For Sale
Parking: Garage
Parking Spaces: 1
Floors: Carpet, Tile, Vinyl
Exterior: Wood Siding
Roof: Composition Shingle
Heating: Space Heater
Heating Fuel: Natural Gas
Lot Size: 6,011 sqft
Built in 1962
MLS/Source ID: 120915
Zip: 96150

Lots of room in a sought-after neighborhood yet affordable. Just a couple of blocks from the meadow and a short walk to the shores of Lake Tahoe and Regan Beach, this four bedroom home offers the opportunity to own a spacious home ideal for large families or gatherings and at the same time, the potential for quick DIY equity. Downstairs living includes the main living area, an open fireplace, two bedrooms, guest bath and a bonus room which would serve well as a hobby room or home office. Upstairs are two more bedrooms and the second guest bath. All of the rooms are quite spacious. The backyard is sunny and fenced with… a large deck and storage shed.

130606-paloma-frontYes, that really is a giant-ass wooden bear statue.  Can’t believe Cindy forgot to mention it:

Location location location (1/2 mile from lake) In South lake Tahoe

Click on ‘enlarged photos’ for some of the worst photos of the day.

And by “worst” you mean “best,” don’t you?

130606-paloma-living130606-paloma-kitchen130606-paloma-bedroom130606-paloma-bedroom2130606-paloma-umwtf130606-paloma-decals

Worst, Best, they are definitely in a class by themselves, which is why it’s good these are far from the Real Bay Area.

Just imagine the chaos if any place could have overbidding.  For one, these weird-ass curtain designs would force their way in here and then where would we be? We’d have houses looking like day care centers, that’s what.

Bunus: Note the skateboard, showing the excitement you’ll have if you live here. Or showing the realtard was too fracking lazy to move it for the photo shoot.

Now that’s the potential for quick DIY equity.  That and using a large storage shed as fencing.

Comments (2) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:09 am

May 25, 2013

Why Everyone Loves Realtards: Part LXIV

130520-billboard-realtard

Self-serving arguments: what else would you expect?  Item for discussion: which is cheaper, a divorce or a bigger house? Be sure to indicate where said house would be.  And if you push for downgrading your school district while upsizing your residence, the divorce may well follow on its own.

It’s the weekend! In fact, it’s a three-day weekend! Will you look at more or fewer Open Houses?  Will you post more or fewer comments in this Weekend Open Thread?

Photo from Funny Signs website.

Comments (5) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:10 am

May 23, 2013

This charming home is in the process of being highly updated

Let’s check in with Burbed reader J from Alameda, who seems to be spending a lot of time not in Alameda of late.  Once more J has a house for us in Walnut Creek. Is it Burbed-worthy?  You know the answer!

130522-buena-trulia2215 Buena Vista Ave
Walnut Creek, CA 94597
$599,000

(Overlook)

4 bedrooms
2 full bathrooms
1,416 sqft
Single-Family Home
For Sale / Resale
$2,682 / mo
20 Days on Trulia
476 views
Bungalow Architecture
Heating: Gas
Lot Size: 6,860 sqft
Built in 1930
Neighborhood: Overlook
MLS/Source ID: 81314840
Zip: 94597
1,416 sqft

2215 Buena Vista Ave Built in the 30?s this charming four bedroom home is in the process of being highly updated throughout property inside and out. Buyer can choose colors if upgrade work has not begun. Walk to BART, freeway around the corner and other amenities.

130522-buena-backWell, we thought where it says Overlook up top that was an order. But J sent it in to us anyway. Here’s why, despite it being in the East Bay and everything:

More freeway! At least the agent almost told the truth – Joe says the freeway is around the corner but it’s really across the street. Of the 16 listings photos how many are the same? Finally, no inside pictures? I want to see the freeway view!

130522-buena-streetviewYour wish is granted.  That’s the streetview from the house.  Bunus: trash bins!

We apologize for not using Redfin today (that’s what J sent in) but they occasionally take their system down when we’re writing, so we had to give someone else a turn.  So helloooooooooo Trulia! Also this is another chance to complain about Redfin not linking to our posts anymore.

Oh, and we counted up the photos. We think there are only actually 3 of them.

But you can choose your colors if you hurry!

Comments (4) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:08 am