October 23, 2012

A sky created by god himself looms over a priceless piece of real estate

Today’s Adventure in Real Estate Photography takes us to the always popular City of Sunnyvale (motto: Costs More than Santa Clara).  Let’s see what Burbed reader shandrew has lassoed for us in the listings.

121021-yorktown-redfin1002 YORKTOWN Dr
Sunnyvale, CA 94087
$930,000

3 Beds
2 Baths
1,661 Sq. Ft.
$560 / Sq. Ft.
Built: 1956
Lot Size: 7,700 Sq. Ft.
On Redfin: 3 days
Status: Active
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Stories: 1
County: Santa Clara
Style: Ranch
Community: Sunnyvale
MLS#: 81238090

Beautiful home in PRIME Sunnyvale! Cherry Chase (966 API), Sunnyvale (843 API) and Homestead (866). Nicely landscaped spacious lot. New paint and carpet. Crown. Dbl pane windows. Recessed lights, hardwood floors. Remodeled kitchen & baths. Spacious master suite with a tub in the master bath! Living AND family AND dining AND casual dining areas! North facing. Regular sale-NOT short sale or REO.

121021-yorktown-patioHere’s what shandrew had to say about this property:

Check out the clouds over this house in PRIME Sunnyvale!

Compare photos 1 (above) and 22 (below), and you’ll see miraculous clouds that are precisely identical whether viewed straight on from the front of the house or viewed
to the side of the backyard.

Then take a careful look at some of the trees which apparently have 121021-yorktown-patio-anglebeen consumed by these vicious clone army of clouds.

Clouds which consume trees are apparently good for property values.

We think those clouds look like a flock of pterodactyls, which is why the trees were eaten so quickly (between picture 21 and 22).  These leaves haven’t even had time to fall down after the ptero-cirrus swooped down and chowed on the branches.

Yet the same clouds show up in the 121021-yorktown-signtime it took the agent to install a for sale sign.  Compare this picture of the front of the house with the first one.

There’s only one good explanation for this.121021-yorktown-pterodactyls

 

Pterodactyls helped install the sign.

 

Comments (11) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:06 am






September 30, 2011

This seller has just one thing to tell you

Thanks very much to Burbed reader Ek for this find in the beautiful Blossom Valley area of San Jose.  This is the friendliest neighborhood you could live in, and today you’ll find out why.

 

3821 VILLA GLEN Way, San Jose, CA 95136
$665,000

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BEDS: 4
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,612
$/SQ. FT.: $413
LOT SIZE: 7,200 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Ranch
STORIES: 1
VIEW: Neighborhood
YEAR BUILT: 1968
COMMUNITY: Blossom Valley
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81140137
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 11 days

OH Sat/Sun 2-4 Wonderful updated floor plan in great “Thousand Oaks Neighborhood” * Open floor plan * hardwood floors * crown molding * granite counters * plantation shutters * extensive use of pavers * outstanding backyard oasis with custom covered patio, palm trees and pebble tec pool * Close to park and schools * This one is a must see.

Looking this listing over, I didn’t see that much wrong with it.  Admittedly the décor’s a little out of fashion (okay, a LOT) and the agent could have done a better job with the photos.

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Dim dining rooms, more granite than kitchen, and a sky that shrieks “This was shopped!” are mildly interesting, but not worthy of front-page status on Burbed.  But “this one is definitely a must see,” yet I’m not talking about the house.  Here’s why Ek sent this listing in:

Zoom up on the Google Street view….the owner is communicating to you.

Google Street View?  Coming right up!

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Now, let’s zoom in…

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We’re Number One!  We’re Number One!!!!

 

Comments (18) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:09 am

April 14, 2011

Beautiful Ecchler, I mean Eichler, with Pool. Or something that starts with Poo.

Here’s a great find by Burbed reader sfbubblebuyer, from the comments.  Usually we prefer that you send listings to us so everyone can enjoy discovering it together, but sometimes a shared find is so notable, so amazing, so completely without any value to a buyer but lots of value to a reader, it deserves the full Burbed treatment.  And there’s plenty to note here!

2115 EDGEWOOD Dr, Palo Alto, CA 94303
$850,000

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BEDS: 4
BATHS: 2
SQ. FT.: 1,614
$/SQ. FT.: $527
LOT SIZE: 7,875 Sq. Ft.
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STORIES: 1VIEW:
Neighborhood YEAR BUILT: 1956
COMMUNITY: Green Gables
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81113857
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 5 days

beautiful eichler home * Great value * Backs to the exit from 101 to Embarcadero. Make offer subject to inspection please. ..

Here’s what sfbubblebuyer had to say about this “beautiful eichler home.”  It was not “* Great value *”

If they’re going to drop a deuce like that on us, they should at least PRICE it like a PA deuce.

 

This isn’t a deuce, sfbb!  This one is at least an eight, as in I sure would eight to live here!  Wow, complete with an exit ramp?  I can’t wait to submit my overbid.

image

imageBut wait, there’s more!

All those lines, the wall, the ceiling, the radiator, the fence… it’s a perspective exercise from hell.  Agent must have flunked out of art school.

You know who else didn’t finish art school?  That’s right!  HITLER!

image

 

 

…the drawers, the tiles, the transoms, make it stop, I’ll tell you where the secret codes are kept, I’ll confess anything you want…

 

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Did this agent not take Real Estate Photography for Dummies* and Why You Should Never Photograph Outside When Sun Is High?

Plus a US Mailbox, conveniently located right in the backyard!

*But I repeat myself.

 

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Whoa.  That carpet, so suggestive of Bermuda.  If Bermuda’s waters were cut on 90 degree angles and careless aligned.  And what’s with the sky in these pictures?  Did someone take a 2 hour Real Estate Photography and How to Use Photoshop to Make That Sale instead of the full 16 hour series?

 

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Rather nice of them to show us the pool without the Bermuda carpet.  Everybody in!

 

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Ah, blissful summer days, playing Marco Polo until the all the ponies drowned.

Seeing the pool like this sure gives you a whole new perspective on the pleasures of owning one.

 

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I think this last photo is my favorite.  Note clever product placement in foreground.

You know what? This house isn’t a deuce and it an eight either.  This is a Jack!

As in, would somebody please take a Jackhammer to this place?

Comments (57) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:05 am

March 16, 2011

Beautiful Specious Home

What, it’s Wednesday already, and no submissions from Burbed reader sonarrat yet?  Better fix that oversight right now now.

4094 GIBRALTAR Dr, Fremont, CA 94536
$239,000

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BEDS: 2
BATHS: 1
SQ. FT.: 884
$/SQ. FT.: $270
LOT SIZE: 1,312 Sq. Ft.
TYPE: Townhouse
STYLE: Cape Cod
STORIES: 1
YEAR BUILT: 1970
COMMUNITY: Fremont
COUNTY: Alameda
MLS#: 40495747
SOURCE: EBRD
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 131 days

Open Home Sat & Sun 1:30 – 4:30 Beautiful specious home with crown moldings and oak laminated floors throughout. Plenty of double pane windows. Gourmet kitchen with beautiful cherry wood cabinetry, granite tile countertops and stainless steel appliances. Inside full size washer and dryer.

Here’s what sonarrat had to say about this, um, place:

If ever there was a perfect Freudian slip, it would be this listing.

Yes, even over in Fremont, better known as Six Cities in Search of an Offer, lower-end housing has succumbed to the obligatory stainless and granite.  This place features all the charm of a Motel 6 coupled with the convenience of monthly homeowner’s association fees ($211).  But hey, you get Common Hot Water for those HOA dues!  Plus pink roses poorly Photoshopped right outside your lot line!

So let’s check out the neighbors!

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Diversity rocks!  If you want an integrated neighborhood, you got it! Integrated with apartments, townhouses, single-family houses, a park and what appear to be a bunch of scattered cargo containers.  Maybe they were dropped here by some hurried vessel captain who couldn’t find Alviso?

Better grab this one fast, as it’s been temporarily de-listed, no doubt by canny sellers who know it will lead to multiple offers over asking!  Hurry!

Comments (11) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:02 am

March 15, 2011

YEARS WERE EXSPENDED… OVER A MILLION $ RECENTLY INVESTED IN A RESORT LIKE OAIS

Yet another terrific find came up in comments.  Our thanks to Burbed reader Tuno for finding this… indescribable property, where thought, labor and love… couldn’t come up with a copywriter who could pass high school English.

2544 Butch Dr, Gilroy, CA 95020
$4,999,000

image

BEDS: 6
BATHS: 9.5
SQ. FT.: 10,300
$/SQ. FT.: $485
LOT SIZE: 10.21 Acres
PROPERTY TYPE: Detached Single Family
STYLE: Mediterranean
STORIES: 3
VIEW: Mountains, Valley, City Lights
YEAR BUILT: 1991
COMMUNITY: Morgan Hill/Gilroy/San Martin
COUNTY: Santa Clara
MLS#: 81105945
SOURCE: MLSListings
STATUS: Active
ON REDFIN: 19 days

TASTEFUL ELEGANCE & QUALITY BEST DESCRIBE THIS TRULY UNRIVALED ESTATE SETTING!YEARS WERE EXSPENDED WITH THOUGHT, LABOR & LOVE TO COMPLETE THIS OWNERS VISION OF THE ULTIMATE EQUESTRIAN ESTATE * OVER 10,000SF OF LUXURY LIVING W ATTCHED AU PAIR QRT * OVER A MILLION $ RECENTLY INVESTED IN A RESORT LIKE OAIS W CUSTOM POOL & OUTDOOR KITCHEN * ADJOINING 10AC PARCEL BOASTS A 1ST CLASS EQUESTRIAN FACILITY W 8STALL

Here’s what Tuno had to say about this, um, listing:

pretty incredible, esp. for Gilroy

Then Burbed reader nomadic nails it:

The first pic look straight out of a Shrek cartoon.

imageToo bad this owner EXSPENDED so many YEARS with THOUGHT, LABOR and LOVE, because this property is the OWNERS VISION OF THE ULTIMATE EQUESTRIAN ESTATE.  Perhaps it would be yours too? 

As featured in the most recent Thomas Kinkade, Painter of Light, gallery tour of East Tracy.  I think that means he doesn’t use very much paint.  Like just one coat.

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Maybe the exterior is by Kinkade, but this staircase at right was obviously designed by M.C. Escher.  They could have used something like this in Inception to keep the assassins from finding them so fast.  Also wouldn’t it be great to see a freight train knock down that statue?

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Oh dear, is that… our first sighting of… that hallmark of CLASS and KULCHUCH?  It’s hiding in the back left.

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No I must have imagined it.  Nothing but overdone French provincial dining set, probably not even included with the house.

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YESSSSS!!!!!!!  MAWBUL KAWLUMS!!!!!  FTW!!!!

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A sky you can’t believe in.  They must have had Kinkade paint that too.

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The horse facility is actually better than most of the houses we feature, although that really isn’t saying much.  W 8STALL.  But remember, this is on the ADJOINING 10AC PARCEL.

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All set to put in a vineyard… as long as you can come up with about four million acre feet of water.  And once you do, then you’ll have your RESORT LIKE OAIS.

Comments (16) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:15 am

October 28, 2010

A Great Land Bank Opportunity

Today’s listing was sent in by burbed reader nomadic.  Thanks very much!

14050 Shannon Rd, Los Gatos, CA 95032
$8,495,000

image Beds: 6
Baths: 8
Sq. Ft.: 6,138
$/Sq. Ft.: $1,384
Lot Size: 31.53 Acres
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: French
Stories: 3
View: Green Belt, Mountains, Canyon, Valley, City Lights
Year Built: 1998
Community: Los Gatos/Monte Sereno
County: Santa Clara
MLS#: 80788192
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active
On Redfin: 941 days

Sellers found their next property-Bring your offers. .This stunning residence captures the timeless refinement set on approximately 31.5 acres of gently rolling, pristine landscape. Annexation is complete in the town of Los Gatos Check with the Town on lot min 2.5 acres. 6 bdrms, 7 baths & 2 1/2 baths. This makes this home a great land bank Opportunity.

imageHere’s what nomadic had to say about this stunning residence:

On the market for 932 days. is that a record?  It’s been listed on and off for NINE years without a sale.  The price has been cut $2.3M since 2008 – that’s more instant equity than 1.5 median houses in this zip code.  The
realtor is keeping his optimism in the first line of the listing, “Sellers found their next property-Bring your offers.”

Wow, 932 days.  That’s like 932 years in Silicon Valley time measurement.  Let’s take a look.   If burbed readers can figure out why yesterday’s house wasn’t selling, I’m sure they can do it again!

And it’s Style: French.  How do you say, “You have got to be fracken kidding me” in French?  Or “Don’t you think they over-Photoshopped the green in that exterior shot?”

imageI don’t know if I’d call this style French.  These overdone rooms with saturated colors that belong on evening gowns rather than wall decor remind me of somewhere… Ah yes!  Another house that isn’t selling!

Mais non, nomadic, your submission is not a burbed record, because that house has been on Redfin for (zut alors!) 1284 days.

Maybe there is something about houses with curved stairways landing on white tile with black inset, or fussy little rooms in a color that will drive you mad inside of a week.  Do these properties have that certain je ne sais quoi?  Problem is, all the buyers are certain to have that je n’ai rien.

The Annexation is complete in the town of Los Gatos!  Toute résistance est futile.

Comments (27) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:07 am

October 7, 2010

Here’s a Story for You! Story Road!

There have been a number of requests that burbed stop with the high-priced houses, and return to its roots.  That means “scrapers in the ‘hood,” and today’s featured property qualifies on both counts.  But the price will definitely surprise you.

14335 Story Road, San Jose 95127
$1,199,950

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Beds: 3
Baths: 1
Sq. Ft.: 1,474
$/Sq. Ft.: $814
Lot Size: 0.78 Acres
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Traditional
Stories: 1
View: Neighborhood
Year Built: 1930
Community: Alum Rock
County: Santa Clara
MLS#: 80778197
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active
On Redfin: 964 days

May have the ability to develope multiple units!

Wonder why the agent may, but didn’t, have the ability to develope multiple photos?  Especially because they went through all the trouble of setting up a virtual tour. There’s more descriptive copy in this link.  Are you ready, because I’m going to post all of it. It’s a bit of a teal deer, sorry.

3 beds, 1 bath, 1474 sf on a 34,000 sf lot. Large lot perfect for possible PUD and or multiple units adjacent to National Hispanic University. Buyers duty to confirm.

Did somebody buyers have to confirm it’s “adjacent to National Hispanic University”?  Isn’t this photo good enough?

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Plus, there’s nine more pictures to drool over, every single one of them outdoors.  Here’s my favorite:

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I love that weird glow around the trees.  Someone’s been playing with Photoshop!  Maybe you can buy this property and play Develope!  Put in that multiple property PUD thing, throw up a dozen scrapers, and start evicting deadbeat tenants now!

Comments (13) -- Posted by: madhaus @ 5:03 am

January 14, 2010

If you like Avatar, you’ll love this house in Mountain View

$1,200,000

1147

Beds: 3
Baths: 2
Sq. Ft.: 1,788
$/Sq. Ft.: $671
Lot Size: 5,406 Sq. Ft.
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Ranch
Stories: 1
Year Built: 1952
Community: Miramonte
County: Santa Clara
MLS#: 80956134
Source: MLSListings
Status: Active This listing is for sale and the sellers are accepting offers.
On Redfin: 21 days
wow!this is perfect 10!Best property in questa park home!The house was rebuild from studs in 2004 with all top of the line materials!First class kitchen w/ top of the line appliance, granite counters, maple cabinets, family rm w/ buildt in cabinets 48" panasonic HDTV, sound sysytem, remodeled bathrooms, the master retreat is fit for a king w/ view of the pool and water fall, hardwood floorsand high ceiling.

This house is definitely a perfect 10. Just look at these pictures! Especially this one:

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You know what the problem is? You don’t have the 3D glasses that are needed to see these pictures in their full glory. That’s right! Who knew that the team from Avatar was available to do home photos too!

If you squint your eyes, you can see see some Na’vi in the background – look for them.

It’s kind of unfortunate that all the money was spent spiffying up these photos, so that there wasn’t enough for spell checking and spaces.

But in any case, check it out – the house comes with a 48” Panasonic HDTV. WOW.

Great for you to watch Avatar when it comes out!

Comments (6) -- Posted by: burbed @ 5:30 am

July 21, 2009

Amazing sky views in Woodside. Fantastic realtor photos.

515 EASTVIEW Way, Woodside, CA 94062 | MLS# 80925593
515 EASTVIEW Way Woodside, CA 94062

515
Price: $1,650,000
Beds: 3
Baths: 2
Sq. Ft.: 1,350
$/Sq. Ft.: $1,222
Lot Size: 1.32 Acres
Property Type: Detached Single Family
Style: Ranch, Contemporary
Stories: 1
View: Valley
Year Built: 1938
Community: Emerald Hills Area
County: San Mateo
MLS#: 80925593
Source: MLSListings
Status: Pending Without Release
On Redfin: 46 days
Trust Sale, present as is condition. Solid older home, fenced horse property; barn. Home needs updating but in good condition. Near multimillion dollar homes. One point 3 acres fenced. Room for trailer, rv parking.

Thanks to Burbed reader Herve for this find. It’s Herve week!

Let’s face it… all around the world, it is a well known fact that Woodside is unique in so many ways. The (future) home of Steve Jobs, many other CEOs and rich people – it’s proof that the Real Bay Area is truly magical.

Just look at the sky in this photo. It’s a combination of two things:

1. That the amazing aura of so many wealthy people can clear up clouds, and produce a perfectly blue sky. If you had just ordinary people, it wouldn’t look like that.

2. Amazing photography skills by Realtors. Only a licensed, 3-6% earning Realtor can capture a moment like this.

Looking at this photo simply brings tears to my eyes. My god is the Real Bay Area beautiful. So beautiful. Thank you Realtor for helping the world see it!

Comments (29) -- Posted by: burbed @ 5:40 am